Ok, don't know where to start with how long this has taken so, I am just not going to bother. Hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas everyone xxx


Chapter Three

Six Months Later

He sunk down behind her as she sat on the floor, she was looking through old photos and he kissed the back of her head, taking in the lemon smell of her hair, she was staring at photos of her with her friends and their children. He frowned, he understood how she felt, they had been three times in the last six months, going through the same things every time, up early in the morning, butterflies in their tummy's as they head to the hospital, planning names and trying decide what they need to buy first. But instead here she was, crying, sobbing even at the idea of losing another baby. The first time they had artificial insemination it hadn't worked, this had upset Stevie but after the second time it had destroyed her, she had found out she was pregnant only two weeks after their appointment and she had been devastated when only nine days later she had lost the baby. She had spent that evening sobbing her heart out, telling him she had done everything right, which he already knew, it was unfair and they both had struggled to come to terms with it. Only a short few months later she had been back at the hospital trying again. He kissed her head once again "I am sorry Stevie.." he whispered, she had found out twelve weeks ago she was expecting and here she was at fourteen weeks pregnant crying her heart out once again.

She chocked back a sob before passing the scan photo to him. "Its so unfair Smithy..." she cried. He nodded against her hair and she sighed "Why cant I have a baby?". He closed his eyes and shook his head as she moved into his body "I would try to be the best Mum"

"I know darlin' and you would be amazing" He hugged her tight "One day it will happen.."

"How Smithy?" she stressed "We cant afford it again... I have no money" she paused and glanced up at him "Besides.. you have Hannah now". He smiled, he had met Hannah two days after the last attempt at having a baby, with the risk of losing her, he had been honest with her from the start, she had been happy for him, excited even at the prospect of him becoming a dad. Stevie however hadn't been as happy about his blossoming relationship and had told him she wasn't happy having a woman she barley new involved in their babies life

"I'm sorry darling... you will meet someone... you will have this.. when you meet the right person.." she sat bolt upright and stared back at him

"Are you upset?" she asked staring in his eyes "Are you disappointed that I lost the baby?"

"Of course Stevie... I just meant.."

"I want you to go.."

"Come on sweetheart... I am trying to support you.."

"Well don't bother.. why don't you go and get on with your life.. I am sure Hannah will be over the moon... and at least you would get a shag out of getting her pregnant"

"That's not fair... I have never once said I didn't want this.. I do love you"

"Go.. now please.."

"Stevie.."

"GET OUT SMITHY". He rose to his feet and grabbed his coat from the arm of the chair he moved to her and she stepped away from him, he sighed before placing the scan photos to the coffee table in the centre of the room

"Take care Stevie".


Two weeks passed and Stevie had phoned in sick everyday, she had fallen into a trance, all she ever wanted had been snatched away from her. She had cried, sobbed, screamed even but nothing had made her feel any better. Smithy had tried to call but she had ignored him, he had turned his back on her, at the worst possible moment. She missed her baby, she knew how ridiculous that sounded but she had become attached months before she was even pregnant, she was so desperate to be a mum. Stevie had considered going out and falling into the arms of a complete stranger in the hope he would give her the one thing she so desperately craved. Her phone beeped and pulled her from her trance, she sighed at the name flashing on the screen before sending him to voice-mail. "Piss off Smithy" she spat, knowing the Inspector could not hear the cruel words she would never face saying to him. She glanced to her cat as he jumped onto the sofa next to her, she lifted him into her arms "At this rate you will be all I ever have" she paused as she hugged the tabby close to her "Mad cat lady". Her phone rang again and she sighed as she glanced at the name flashing once again before sending him to answer phone, she couldn't contemplate any more words with him, she couldn't bear to see him again. The idea of returning to work frightened her beyond belief. The knock on the door made her jump and she sighed as she placed the cat down and headed to the window, peering out the closed curtain she sighed before heading into the hall and opening the front door. "Hi Mickey"

"Hey, how are you?" he asked before adding "You look awful" before she had a chance to reply as he walked through the front door

"Thanks" she replied "And come in" she added sarcastically before following him into the living room

"Nice cat" he smirked

"Tammy" she frowned "She belonged to my elderly neighbour, she passed away about a year ago, I have had her ever since"

"So whats up?" he asked after nodding to her previous comment

"What do you mean?"

"You have been off for over two weeks-"

"That's not really any of your business"

"We are friends-"

"Just leave it Mickey" she paused as she rested onto the sofa "Did Smithy send you?"

"Na, he is to loved up to notice you are missing-" seeing the hurt in her eyes he added "I am sure he has and just not mentioned it though"

"He and Hannah going well then?"

"Yeah, seems so, he is moody, but he is always moody, apparently they have got engaged" he frowned "I came to see you not talk about Smithy". Tears escaped her, she couldn't help it, he moved to her and wrapped her into his arms "What did he do?" he asked

"Nothing, he did nothing, that's the point"

"You in love with him" she wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement but decided it best to be honest

"I don't know, I am jealous, I hate it and I hate her, stuck up bitch, he could do so much better-"

"So could you" the statement was simple and managed to help a smile emerge on her lips. "Dale Smith has always been an arsehole when it comes to women"

"Don't Mickey" pulling her into a hug he kissed the top of her head "Do you think you could keep this between us?" she asked to which he simply nodded.


The following morning she had returned to work, she didn't know why, she just felt she needed to, Mickey had assured her Smithy had the day off and after answering questions on her 'illness' she had settled at her desk, it was relativity empty, with only a few uniform crossing the room to retrieve paper work. It was early on a Sunday morning and she was, to be honest, pleased of the quiet day ahead, she smiled to Grace as she headed into the office "Didn't realise you were back" the woman smiled

"Nor did I until this morning-"

"Feeling better?" the woman sounded genuinely concerned

"A little" she nodded before turning back to her computer.

The day had actually sped by much to Stevie's dismay, only having completed five piece of paperwork in the time she had been in the office. "I am off now, see you tomorrow" Grace called as she headed to the door. Stevie pushed to her feet and headed to the window, glancing out to the busy road, she frowned, she too needed to pack up and head home to the emptiness of her life, return to Tammy before crying herself to sleep on the sofa.

"Heard you were back" she spun to face the Inspector and nodded slightly before heading to her desk and beginning to pack her stuff away

"Clearly news still spreads like wildfire" she glanced up and spat "I hear congratulations are in order", her voice was bitter and she knew he could hear it but she didn't care

"I tried to ring, to tell you"

"Why?"

"Because I care Stevie and you are my friend"

"You know they say if a friendship lasts over seven years, it will last a life time-"

"I have heard that-"

"We lasted six Smithy" she spoke, picking her bag up she went to move past him, he grabbed her arm

"What did I do?" he asked, she tried to pull away and he frowned "Its not my fault you lost the baby"

"No" was all she replied

"I don't understand, what did I do?" he was angry now, she shook her head as she pulled from him

"You did nothing Smithy" she spoke, barely above a whisper, before she headed out the room.


She had settled onto the sofa and grabbed her laptop, deciding she needed to eat she put through an order through to Pizza hut, she rose to her feet and headed towards the door, intent on having a quick shower before her delivery arrived. She turned on the hot blasts and stripped from her clothes before stepping underneath the water, she tilted her head back and allowed the water to trickle down her body, she pulled her hands though her short curls before grabbing for her sponge, she began to soap her body, she rubbed her the bubbles from her body and stared up as the water splashed it to her face. Hearing the doorbell, she stepped from the shower and turned it off, she grabbed her towel, wrapping it round her body she sprinted towards the ringing bell once again, pulling the door open she frowned at the man as he held the pizza to her, "What do you want?" she snapped

"To talk"

"Nothing to say Smithy"

"I saved your dinner, the delivery boy was about to do one with it-"

"I would rather starve"

"Can I come in?"

"No, give me my pizza"

"No" he replied, she reached for it and feeling her towel slipped she grabbed it and he smirked "Let me carry it in for you, seems you have your hands full" he moved past her and headed towards the living room. He turned to her and smiled "I could really eat a slice of pizza myself-"

"Well they are open until eleven, goodbye Dale"

"I want to put this right, Stevie I meant it when I told you how much you mean to me-" he paused "I am putting my heart on the line here Stevie-"

"No, you should be putting your heart on the line to Hannah-"

"I love Hannah, but you are my friend Stevie, the best friend I have ever had"

"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, you are like a broken bloody record, just go-"

"Is this even about the baby?" he asked and she turned away, feeling him lean over her shoulder he whispered "You will meet someone-"

"You are an idiot-" she turned back to him "I am jealous Smithy, there you happy now. I am jealous she has you" he looked slightly shocked and she shrugged "I don't know that I want you, or that I feel that way about you but it is eating me up inside that you are with her"

"I don't know what to say"

"Don't say anything then, just leave me alone Smithy. Let me get on with my life and go and get on with yours" she left the room and headed towards the bedroom, feeling his hands encircle her wrist she turned back to him "Smithy please-" his lips seeked hers out, he pushed his hands into her hair, pulling her body tight to his, she couldn't help but respond, he slipped his tongue into her mouth as she seeked the bedroom door handle and pulling him inside, he pulled from her and whispered "Do you want me Stevie?". She moved back into his lips.