U/L: 22nd October 2007.
I Think I
by TooDarnLazy
Chapter 3 – Another Proposal?!
Naruto leapt through the trees as the early morning sun glinted through the mosaic of leaves above her. Two ANBU escorts were beside her as was usual when she left Konoha for personal reasons, unless Ero-Sennin accompanied her. It rankled with her that Tsunade-obaachan didn't assign her any solo missions because of Akatsuki, but she understood the obvious reasons for that. The two ANBU, however, were not her usual escorts – Yamato-taichou and Sai – because they had a mission. She was in full female form, although she was still wearing the baggy boy's clothes, which she much preferred to girl's clothing.
Her thoughts were in a whirl. She was now officially engaged to Sasuke. It made her feel better to know that she didn't have to produce babies – something she fervently thanked Tsunade-obaachan for - and that she could ask for a divorce at any time, although she did wonder how a divorce would affect her chances as Hokage. And there was the disturbing knowledge that as Sasuke's… wife, her chances at becoming Hokage probably weren't high either, since the Council expected her to be producing Sharingan babies.
Then there was the wedding to think about. Ever since she found out she was actually female, she had had a hard time coping with the physical changes, the difference in weight distribution, which affected her movements and thus her taijutsu, and most of all, menstruation. She made a disgusted face – boys had it much easier without monthly cycles. At first, she kept in her male form as much as possible, but Tsunade advised her to get used to her real body, which was sound advice, she supposed.
She guessed she was quite the tomboy. Hana-neechan and Ayame-neechan always helped her get girly stuff like bras and underwear and skirts (she hated those, but Tsunade made her wear skirts every now and then when she was off-duty) and heels (she still wobbled a little on heels) and makeup. She disliked makeup the most, although she loved using a cherry-coloured lip gloss that she had discovered in Suna. It kept her lips from chapping, and to be honest, she liked the cherry colour on her lips, too. The two women, together with Hinata-chan, were always trying to get her to be more lady-like, and were always frustrated with the way she 'stomped around like a man', according to Hana-neechan, or 'slurped up ramen like a greedy pig', according to Ayame-neechan, or 'had less-than-impeccable manners', according to Hinata-chan. Hinata-chan always did say things in such a nice way.
As such, she didn't really think about boyfriends and dates and weddings, although she often heard civilian girls and some kunoichi talk excitedly about those things. Her mind had been occupied with taijutsu and ninjutsu and getting Sasuke back and becoming Hokage. But now she was forced to think of her own wedding, even though it was just a paper marriage. She had heard girls chatter excitedly about romance, and flowers and chocolates and jewelry. Unexpectedly, she felt a twinge of sadness to know that she wouldn't be receiving any of those things from her husband-to-be.
It's just a mission! She reminded herself over and over again. I'm doing this so that Sasuke can kill Itachi, which would be one less threat for me, and then Sasuke will stay in the village. That's why I'm doing this. But it didn't ease the dull ache that had settled in a tiny corner of her heart.
It was their third day of travel, and Naruto knew that soon they would enter Suna territory. She looked forward to seeing Gaara again. Gaara had been very nice to her during the year-long goodwill mission she had just returned from. Towards the end of the year, he had made time to see her, to take her around, and eat lunch with her often. Even in the beginning of the year he had instructed Suna's finest swordmaster, Kujira-sensei, to teach her kenjutsu. She had also been taught quite a few Fuuton techniques, since Suna had many wind users. Then she had been taught to combine her Fuuton chakra with kenjutsu, and Gaara and Kujira-sensei had promised to make her a good katana that could conduct chakra, like she remembered Asuma-sensei's trench knives could. But Baki-sensei had taught her kaze no yaiba as well, just in case she had to part with the katana.
Grass changed to sand on the forest floor, and soon the trio found themselves running through the desert. The sun had risen high and was hot on their backs.
Xx
Xx
"Gaara!" came a shout, and a large orange-and-black ball suddenly launched itself at the Kazekage. The stoic redhead stumbled back a few paces, and Suna jounin who were standing next to the Kazekage quickly moved to detach the parasite clinging to their leader, but Gaara held them off with a raised hand. The same raised hand rose to pat the mop of messy, spiky blonde hair.
"Uzumaki Keimei Naruto."
Naruto smiled and hopped onto her own feet. Gaara's lips twitched up at the corners in reply, and those near enough to see it were shocked. The Kazekage never smiled at anyone other than his siblings, and even that was rare.
"Welcome, Keimei."
"You know, Gaara, apart from Tsunade-obaachan you're the only one who calls me that," Naruto grinned at her friend. Those who had met the cheerful blonde just rolled their eyes mentally at her less than respectful way of addressing her own Kage and theirs, while those jounin who had yet to be introduced to the Konoha nin had to pick their jaws off the ground. Such insubordination would have been severely punished in Suna.
And most were wondering why the Kazekage took time off his busy schedule to greet the Konoha nin at their gates instead of letting them go to his office and greet him there, which would have been a sign of respect on Konoha's side.
"So, Gaara, where's Kujira-sensei? And Tsunade-obaachan said you said Sasayaki is ready! I can't wait!"
More jaws dropped as the Kazekage chuckled lightly and started walking into the village, Naruto almost bouncing beside him. All but four of the Suna jounin dispersed, and the remaining four escorted the Konoha guests and the Kazekage down the village streets to the blacksmith.
Many people stopped what they were doing to bow respectfully to the Kazekage and his guest (the ANBU remained hidden). Even as Naruto cheerfully returned the greetings, and chatted a little with those who remembered her from her previous mission, she couldn't help but be pleased and a little proud to see Gaara acknowledge the greetings with polite nods and even polite words when he knew the person a little better.
"Kujira-sensei!" shouted Naruto, waving wildly as she saw a tall, dignified grey-haired man in his sixties come out of a little shack by the side of a large house at the end of the street. Without another word, she ran off to meet the man, who had looked up and smiled when he heard the familiar voice.
"Ah! The gaki's back!" he said, ruffling Naruto's hair when she reached him. She playfully swatted his hand away and pouted. "Why do most old people I know call me gaki? I'm going to be eighteen soon! I'm not a gaki anymore!"
Kujira grinned and ruffled the blonde hair again, and was about to reply when the Kazekage quietly materialized beside the Konoha kunoichi. "Kazekage-sama," the older man said, bowing respectfully.
"Kujira-dono," Gaara replied, bowing a little as well. "As you can see, Keimei has rushed all the way from Konoha when she heard Sasayaki was ready."
Kujira chuckled as Naruto looked hopefully at him. "Yeah, yeah, it's ready. Give me a minute and I'll get it for you." He disappeared into the dark shack. Naruto looked curiously into the shack and saw two anvils and a fire burning brightly, as well as neatly stacked pieces of metal, and neatly arranged equipment hanging from the roof and on the walls. She could vaguely make out Kujira as he picked something off a rickety-looking shelf and came out again.
"Here," Kujira said, handing the damask-wrapped long object to her. Eagerly, Naruto took the object from him and carefully undid the leather cords that kept the damask cloth wrapped around the object within. She gently removed the cloth and gasped happily.
The scabbard of the katana was beautifully engraved with a swirling pattern, and the Uzumaki swirl stood out in the middle of the sheath on both its flat surfaces. The katana hilt's wrappings were her favourite orange in colour, and the hilt-guard, or tsuba, was in the shape of the Uzumaki swirl, and was made of what seemed to be red glass with a thin metal outer rim.
In a fluid movement, she gripped the scabbard with her left hand and drew out the katana with her right. The katana was long, almost 80cm in length, and made of a metal so black it gleamed, but didn't reflect much light. All the better in terms of stealth, where the smallest reflection of light could give you away. On one side of the flat of the blade was inscribed her name – Uzumaki Keimei Naruto – and on the other side the name of the katana – Sasayaki – in beautiful calligraphy. She executed a few mock thrusts and swipes, getting used to the weight of the katana in her hand, then re-sheathed it and turned to Kujira.
"Well?" the swordmaster asked, grinning. "Satisfied?"
"Satisfied?" Naruto asked incredulously. "The katana is incredible! I'm beyond satisfied!" Smiling widely, she glomped Kujira, katana held carefully in one hand.
"Although..." she released her sensei and said sheepishly, "It's gonna take me a heck of a long time to pay you back, Kujira-sensei. I don't have much money, and..."
"Nonsense!" Kujira cut her off. He gave her a fond smile. "It's been paid for. Me and Kazekage-sama went dutch on this."
Naruto's eyes widened. "Really? But it's got to be extremely expensive! It's made of chakra-conducting metal! I can't let you pay for it all!"
"It is our gift to you, Keimei," Gaara spoke up quietly. He had been enjoying Naruto's happiness at receiving the katana.
"Yes. Think of it as a long overdue gift in appreciation of you rescuing and reviving the Kazekage three years ago," Kujira said. Gaara nodded, but became puzzled as Naruto pouted.
"But that was supposed to be an advanced favour from the future Hokage to the Kazekage! And I didn't do much then, either! And if you pay me back the favour how'm I gonna get Gaara to do favours for me, huh?" she said childishly.
Gaara almost smiled in relief; he thought he had somehow offended the blonde kunoichi. Kujira laughed outright.
"In that case, think of it as a simple expression of gratitude for setting me on the right path six years ago, Keimei, although a mere katana could never be equivalent to the thankfulness I feel," Gaara told her. Naruto was quiet for a while, then a small, genuine smile lit her face. It was one of those smiles Gaara loved, but hardly got to see. Her smile then widened into one that almost split her face in two.
"Okay! I got no problem thinking of it that way! Then you'll still owe me, the future Hokage, a favour!" she said happily as she traced the patterns in the scabbard with her fingers. Gaara gave her a small smile, to which she replied with another of those beautiful, genuine smiles.
"Oh yes!" Kujira-sensei exclaimed. He hurried into the shack, rooted around the things on a desk, and returned with something in hand. He thrust it towards Naruto. "It's a belt with a loop to attach the katana."
The blonde took the belt. It was black leather, with the red Uzumaki swirl embroidered into the centre. Kujira held the katana for her as she put tied it on, and adjusted it so that the Uzumaki swirl was in the centre and the loop was directly above her left hip. The sword master instructed her on how to attach and detach the katana, and made her practice unsheathing and sheathing her Sasayaki till she could do it fluidly.
"Keimei." Gaara said, after watching her for a while. "I'm sorry to say that I have to leave. Kujira-dono will instruct you in your practice today. You and your escorts are invited to stay at the Kazekage's Offices, where rooms have been prepared for you. And I would like to take you out to dinner tonight, if you're agreeable."
"Or course! Thanks, Gaara! You're the best! Say hi to Kankurou for me, will you?" Naruto gave the redhead a thumbs-up. Gaara nodded to both Naruto and Kujira, and disappeared in a whirl of sand.
"Alright!" Kujira-sensei clapped his hands twice. "Let's see how you bond with Sasayaki!"
xx
xx
A knock sounded on her bedroom door.
"Almost ready!" Naruto called out. She quickly gave her hair a last brush, patted down her pale blue long-sleeved blouse and simple black silk below-the-knee skirt. As she retied her blue sash (the colour of her eyes), she looked in the mirror to check her cherry lip gloss. It was the only bit of make-up she used, because she liked the warm colour, and it kept her lips moist. Her cursed necklace – the one she won from Tsunade – hung outside her blouse for once.
Satisfied, and feeling a little girly, she went to answer the door.
"Konbanwa, Keimei," Gaara greeted with a small smile. He was quite surprised to see a very feminine-looking Naruto standing in front of him even if it didn't show on his face. It was the first time he'd ever seen her in anything other than her usual ninja garb or casual t-shirt and baggy shorts. With a faint pink tinting his cheeks, he noted that she hadn't bound her chest this time.
"Konbanwa, Gaara!" she greeted cheerfully. "Let's go get dinner! I'm starved!" With that, she bounced out of the room, locked the door and turned to the Kazekage. The smile still on his face, he held out a small box wrapped in orange. A big smile lit Naruto's face.
"Happy birthday in advance, Keimei."
Touched, Naruto took the box and unwrapped it carefully, albeit a little clumsily. Inside was an intricately carved jewelry box, and when Naruto opened it, she saw a coloured bead and silver bracelet. The beads were blue (like her eyes), yellow (like her hair), orange (her favourite shade, too) and red (the Uzumaki spiral red), and were arranged in fours comprised of each colour, and each group of four were separated by a tiny silver spiral and hourglass. The beads were crystal clear, and sparkled like diamonds. Naruto looked at Gaara with large, grateful eyes.
The Kazekage merely took the bracelet out of the box and fastened it on her right wrist. "The beads are extremely-hardened glass made from the sand in my gourd," he informed her.
Naruto felt her heart clench, and gave Gaara a big hug.
"Thank you so much, Gaara. No one has ever given me such a birthday present before. Well, except the goggles someone left on my door for my tenth birthday – I still don't know who it was, but still, this is beautiful!"
She wiped some moisture that threatened to spill out of her eyes. Gaara's forehead creased a little. "Are you crying, Keimei? Did I upset you?"
Naruto laughed. "No, silly. I'm so touched that you're so nice to me. Most people in Konoha ignore me on my birthday, and those that don't- well, they give me unpleasant gifts, if you get my drift." She rubbed her eyes again, and looked up to see Gaara frowning, anger in his eyes. She supposed he had got her drift, and wasn't happy about what she had just revealed about her birthday 'presents' in Konoha, since she'd told him about the sealing occurring on the day she had been born.
She sniffed and wiped her hands on her skirt, and something in the back of her mind told her that Ayame-neechan would have scolded her for doing that, so she stopped and gave Gaara a sheepish smile.
"I'm being such a girl, huh, Gaara?" she laughed self-consciously, fidgeting with her sash, then froze slightly as Gaara offered her his arm.
"You are a girl, Keimei. And a beautiful one, at that."
Naruto laughed again, hilariously this time. "Now you're really being silly, Gaara! Don't let the skirt and blouse fool you! Sakura-chan, Hinata-chan and even Temari are much prettier than I am!" She took the offered arm somewhat awkwardly – it was such a girly thing to do, and she didn't particularly like girly stuff, but she didn't want to offend Gaara, who was being so nice to her.
Xx
Xx
"This is really great, Gaara!" Naruto said happily, playing with the desert rose he had given her earlier. It was another girly thing, but she realized she liked it. Half-consciously she remembered thinking of how girls equated flowers, chocolate and jewelry with romance...
Her eyes widened. In her hands were two out of the three – she had a bracelet – jewelry – and was holding a desert rose – flower. Surely Gaara didn't mean...? Silly girl! she chided herself, and almost laughed aloud. That was such a ridiculous idea.
But he did bring me to a really nice, secluded restaurant for a birthday dinner, and he listened to me rave about Sasayaki, and now we're just watching the stars from the roof of the highest building in Suna... It's practically like what Sakura-chan calls a date...
Shoving the unease building up into the back of her mind, Naruto forced herself to relax and leaned back into the bench she and Gaara were sitting on. The breeze was light, making her blonde spikes ruffle in the wind.
"I can never thank you enough, Keimei, for all that you've done for me," Gaara said softly, breaking the silence that had settled since Naruto last spoke. "You pulled me out of the hell of loneliness, you helped me find a new purpose in caring for the village I thought I hated, and you literally brought me back from the dead."
"Aww, Gaara, we're friends, that's what friends do for each oth..."
"Keimei."
Naruto turned to Gaara as he cut off what she had been saying. He looked serious, his teal eyes shone brightly in the moonlight, which lit up his blood-red hair like a flame and bathed his pale skin in an ethereal glow. The kanji 'Ai' tattooed on his forehead stood out in stark contrast to his pale skin. Naruto felt her heart flutter just a little as she realized how handsome Gaara had become, even if those rings around his eyes never went away and his eyebrows never grew back, for some reason. If anything, they actually enhanced his looks.
"Keimei, I have thought it over many times during the past year that you have been with me in Suna, and I have come to the conclusion, the realization, that I have feelings for you."
Naruto's eyes widened and she stared into Gaara's unwavering teal eyes. Gaara gently took her hands in his, onto his lap.
"Uzumaki Keimei Naruto, I love you."
Naruto stared at him, shocked. Her mind ran over the last months of her year-long mission in Suna; how Gaara had always done his best to make time to have at least one meal a day with her even though she knew he was busy most of the time, how he wouldn't allow her to pay for her food when they went out for meals, how he had always made sure she had everything she needed, both mission-wise and personally even though those things were her own responsibility. Most of all she realized she wasn't imagining things when she saw his eyes harden into glares whenever she was around other men who were trying to get extra friendly with her.
He really did love her – she could see it in his usually blank eyes.
Gaara wasn't finished.
"Keimei… will you… marry me?"
Naruto's jaw hung loose, and she opened and closed her mouth a few times. Gaara... in love with her? Marry him?
"Gaara…"
At her tone, Gaara knew the answer, but he gripped her hands harder. He hadn't brought his gourd, but the small amount of sand that was on the rooftop swirled angrily around their feet. Gaara forced himself to calm down, and the sand slowly receded.
"Uchiha-Uzumaki Keimei Naruto."
Gaara blinked. "...What?"
Naruto repeated what she had said, a little sadly. "Uchiha-Uzumaki Keimei Naruto. I'm engaged to Uchiha Sasuke, Gaara."
"I see." Gaara's tone was so quiet but so heartbroken that she held onto his hands as he tried to pull away.
"It's not what you think, Gaara," Naruto said, and explained the full situation to him. To his credit, he listened carefully without interrupting.
"I see..." he said again when she finished. "What are your feelings for Uchiha, then?"
Unconsciously, she gripped his hands harder as she looked down. "I don't know, Gaara. I really don't know. He's my friend, my rival... I trained hard to bring him back, and now he's back, and I'm the only way he can get a chance to kill Itachi, and then be free in Konoha... Right now I think of it as a mission – something I must do for my village. The Sharingan is one of Konoha's trump cards, and since I have the power, I should do everything I can to ensure it stays in Konoha."
She paused for a moment, and turned her head back to look at Gaara. "I think of you as my friend, Gaara. Probably my closest, best friend. You're the only one who really understands what I've been through, what I'm going through."
She took a breath. "I dunno much about love and stuff, but I think love you, Gaara, just not in that way." She gave him a watery smile. "Besides, you're the Kazekage, and I'm the future Hokage – it would be difficult if we were married, eh?"
Her spirits rose a little as Gaara gave a pained, tiny smile. Instinctively, she scooted closer to the redhead and enveloped him in a tight hug, different from the friendly hugs she always gave.
"I'm so sorry to break your heart, Gaara. I really wish I did feel for you like you want me to. I mean, you're the guy who treats me the nicest – much better than Sasuke-teme, and he's supposed to be my husband in four days." Naruto's voice cracked at the word husband. She tightened her arms around Gaara's warm body, and felt him return her hug. She relaxed in his embrace.
"You're so comforting, Gaara. Wouldn't have thought you had it in you, thinking of how you were years ago," Naruto pushed back a little and looked at him with a small grin.
"I'll still love you, Keimei," Gaara answered softly. Impulsively, she kissed him lightly on his tattoo. Blushing, she drew back and grinned at him.
"There! You are the honoured recipient of Uzumaki Keimei Naruto's first kiss to be given to a guy! Although, I did kiss Sasuke-teme six years ago, but that was a total accident, and I didn't even want it or like it, so it doesn't count." She grinned at him again, and was happy to see him smile back a little, although his eyes still showed pain. The redhead gently brushed locks of blonde hair that shone golden under the moonlight away from the clear blue eyes. They had drooped down since Naruto wasn't wearing her hitai-ate. He loved those blue eyes that always sparkled with life.
Gaara let go of Naruto and stood up. Turning slightly, he offered Naruto a hand. "We should get going, Keimei. You have to leave early tomorrow, anyhow."
Smiling at him, she took the offered hand and pulled herself off the bench, then hooked her hand through his like she had done earlier in the evening.
"I'm not marrying you, Gaara, but I'm keeping the bracelet," she said in a playful tone, as they walked back to the Kazekage's Offices in the bright moonlight. Gaara looked at her, smiling a little.
"Of course, Keimei. I wouldn't dream of asking it back from you. Keep it as a reminder of me."
"Gaara!" she said in an indignant tone, and he stopped to look at her, anxious that he had somehow offended her.
"I don't need anything to remind you of me!" she declared, smiling at his anxiety. "You're always here," she continued, and placed her free hand over her heart.
"Thank you, Keimei. It is the same for me." He kept the small smile the whole way back to her room.
Xx
Xx
The sun had barely peeked above the horizon as the Suna and Konoha shinobi stood at the gates of Sunagakure no Sato.
The Kazekage stood with his back to his village, a team of jounin, Kankurou and Kujira with him. The Konoha trio faced the Suna group.
"Thanks for everything, Kazekage-sama. Your hospitality is much appreciated," Naruto said.
"The shinobi of Konoha are always welcomed guests in Suna," the Kazekage replied.
Naruto grinned, shrugging off the formal atmosphere. She launched herself at Kujira. "Thanks so much, Kujira-sensei! I've learned so much from you, and Sasayaki is the best katana in the world!"
The grey-haired man laughed. "Anytime, gaki. You're always welcome in my house." He patted her head affectionately.
Naruto released her kenjutsu sensei and hopped to Kankurou, who gave her a cheery grin, which she returned. He slapped her on the shoulder, hard, and she slapped him back just as hard.
"Take care, shrimp!" he said.
"Be seeing you around, doll-boy!" she replied, and walked a few steps to Gaara.
"Well, Gaara," she said, smiling. Awkwardly but determinedly, he reached out and hugged her, to the intense surprise of the Suna nin beside him. She hugged back and then let go, then kissed his tattoo again. The Suna nin were floored, their eyes popping out of their head.
"I love you too, Gaara. Don't forget – you're my best friend," she whispered in his ear, and he nodded. She stepped back, then raised her right hand to touch her chest where her heart was. Gaara understood immediately, and mimicked her movements with a slight smile.
Naruto broke into a huge grin, nodded to her ANBU escorts, who bowed respectfully to the Kazekage, and waved her right hand at them. The early morning sunlight made her bracelet sparkle brightly.
Then, together, the Konoha trio turned around and headed back to Konoha at a fast run.
A.N.: Forgive me for the sappiness in the chapter… my teeth were rotting when I reread it :p
Reviews and constructive criticism much appreciated!
