A/N: I'm updating this fic one last time for awhile, because after this chapter I'm going to dedicate myself to updating my other three DB fics! This has a lot of reminiscing and flashbacks to shed light on their relationship before the accident, and post 4x17. Hope you've enjoyed it so far and thanks for everyone that reviewed! I'll try to have the next chapter up in the next couple months (unless I get blasted with inspiration)
Dan wakes up to Oliver licking his ear and shoving a cold wet nose in his face. His neck aches from sleeping on the couch, but he's just thankful Blair felt comfortable enough to stay the night. He can just barely hear a record playing in the background, probably Blair trying not to wake him.
"So Serena tells me you're a writer," she says, taking note of him sitting up slowly.
Blair sits in the leather chair next to him, with her knees folded up against her body. She looks very much like a naive child getting to know the new babysitter.
"I am," he nods.
"Anything worth recommending?"
Dan smiles as he stands up and moves to the bookshelf next to the window. His fingers peruse the spines until he pulls out the one he was looking for.
"This one paid for the wedding," he says, handing it to her.
Inside would always be the book his name was recognized for, even if it wasn't his favorite piece of writing. He found the whole thing to be sort of a cliche. Boy from Brooklyn falls for a snobby elitist from the Upper East Side, realizing there's much more underneath her surface.
"Clair and Dylan? Humphrey, your creativity is absolutely astounding."
"I will admit, my imagination was lacking at the time. Most of that book is based on true events."
Blair nods as she begins reading the first page. Dan decides to take Oliver for a walk instead of watching her read a book that's essentially about, well, her.
"How old is he?" She asks before they can leave.
"He'll be three in November. He was a surprise from you, actually."
Blair's eyebrows raise in surprise.
"Yeah. You, uh- you brought him to my old loft a few days after we got engaged, rambling about commitment. He had a bow tied around his neck and everything."
Oliver climbs onto Blair's lap and she lets out a giggle, scratching at his sides.
"I can't believe I bought a dog for you," a grin rests on her face, "especially a big one that sheds."
"You loved him a lot. Part of the reason we picked this place is because it has a big enough courtyard for him to run around in. You were pretty insistent. We had to take out two other couples to get it."
Blair laughs and narrows her eyes slightly, "For the dog."
A moment passes through her eyes again, the same one from last night. She wants to remember. Dan nods with a smile and grabs Oliver, leaving Blair to read in peace.
As they stroll down the sidewalk, he pulls out his phone to call Serena.
"I bet I can guess why you're calling!" she shrieks and he has to pull the phone away from his ear.
"She showed up last night."
"I knew it!"
"Calm down," he laughs, glancing in the bookstore windows as they pass by. "She still doesn't remember anything, but she's trying."
"You two should come over tonight! I think Nate's going to make breakfast for dinner."
"Frankly, that sounds like a nightmare, but I'll suggest it. Have you decided where you two stand yet?"
"We're just keeping it casual," she says and rapidly changes the subject, "What is Blair doing now?"
"Reading Inside. I'm giving her a history lesson."
"Why does that sound dirty to me?"
"Everything sounds dirty to you," Dan chuckles softly.
"You two don't even end up together at the end of Inside."
"I was sort of betting on her not making it to the end. That book is incredibly boring for people who know the story."
"You realize Blair doesn't fit into that category anymore."
"Good point."
He walks another mile or so before turning around and heading back to the apartment. When he opens the door, Blair is sitting at the counter reading a book that is not Inside.
"It was kind of boring," she shrugs, "I like this one more."
Dan walks towards her to get a closer look at the cover.
My Dad's Car by Daniel Humphrey. The story of a boy and girl chasing after the con-artist who tried to ruin their beautiful blonde best friend's life. It had to be one of his favorite pieces that he's written.
"It reminds me of a Katherine Hepburn screwball comedy."
"Well," Dan smiles, clearing his throat, "That's what the day was like."
Dan watches her read silently for a few minutes the way he had so many times before. Some of his favorite memories in their apartment involved two mugs of tea, him reading the New York Times and her curled up with his new book.
He rests a hand on her shoulder gently and she surprisingly doesn't flinch. Instead, she looks up at him with a friendly smile.
"You wouldn't want to have dinner at Nate's tonight, would you?"
"I suppose that would be nice."
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Dan waits patiently in the foyer, and his breath hitches when he catches a glimpse of his wife walking down the stairs. She wears a long sleeved tight black dress that stops halfway down her thighs. Her hair is sleek and straight and she looks nothing like the Blair he is accustomed to, but he really doesn't care.
"You're beautiful." He says and her eyes flutter closed as he presses a kiss to her cheek. "But you know we're just going to Nate's apartment, right?"
"Always dress to impress, Humphrey. You wouldn't understand."
Dan chuckles softly, "I suppose not."
They ride to Nate's in the town car- the only UES luxury Blair refused to sacrifice when they got married. Overtime, Dan found that he appreciated having a driver ready whenever they needed. Driving in the city was also far too stressful with Blair constantly nagging him in the front seat.
"I finished Inside," Blair says to break the silence,"I see why everyone makes such a big deal about it. Are you planning on writing a sequel?"
"I get that question a lot, but I don't think so."
Her pink lips pout slightly at his answer, "Why?"
"I got the ending I wanted," he says softly, "I got you."
They don't talk for the rest of the ride.
Serena greets them in an oversized cream colored sweater and black leggings and Dan is still amazed at how good she looks in casual attire. There will never be a day that he stops finding Serena beautiful.
"B! You look amazing!" The blonde's arms go around Blair in a tight hug.
"Take it easy," Blair rolls her eyes, reciprocating the embrace, "We just saw each other yesterday."
Dan laughs as Nate hands him a beer and the entire apartment smells like syrup and bacon. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until his stomach starts growling noisily.
"Did you make all of this?" he asks, gesturing to spread of eggs, bacon, and pancakes.
"I did," Nate nods proudly, "I know Humphreys prefer waffles, but I'm not that ambitious."
Dan glances over at Blair and catches her staring at him. She immediately tears her gaze away and he bites his lip to stop from smiling. Last time they had dinner with Nate and Serena, he ended up tearing her clothes off in Nate's bathroom before they even made it to dessert. Blair had feared marriage would diminish their spark, and Dan had found himself constantly proving otherwise. His body was always aching to have her in his arms again.
They're all interrupted by someone buzzing the apartment.
"Who is it?" Serena giggles and it becomes apparent that she's already tipsy.
"Chuck."
A silence settles over the room as they all glance at each other in confusion. Dan's immediately taken back to their engagement party. Champagne was flowing, everyone was laughing, and Dan's lips barely left Blair's all night. His hand was always resting on the small of her back. Halfway through the night, Chuck showed up, wasted and reeking of scotch. He stumbled into multiple guests and even tried to pull Blair's engagement ring off of her finger. Dan had to resist the urge to sock him in the jaw for the third time. They had him escorted out within twenty five minutes of arriving. He had the same apprehension building as Serena unlocked the door.
"What are you doing here, Chuck?" Nate asks as Chuck strolls into the apartment.
"I heard we were having a dinner party," he smirks and wraps an arm around Blair's waist. "I'll forgive you for neglecting to invite me."
"Didn't want you to feel like a fifth wheel," Nate says and Blair slinks out of Chuck's grip.
Dan's fists remain clenched as they sit down at the table to eat. Conversation is forced and awkward as everyone skates around the subject of Dan and Blair's marriage and Chuck's looming presence. Chuck asks Blair how her memory is doing and she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. Dan squeezes her knee gently under the table and she smiles back at him affectionately.
"Some memories are hazier than others," she nods, "I'm still taking it one step at a time."
Dan excuses himself and Blair's eyes stay on him as he walks to the bathroom and shuts the door. He stares at himself in the mirror, trying to erase the sadness in his eyes. Things were looking better for them and for a moment he had forgotten the whole accident. But at the end of the day, she still sees Dan as a stranger, someone she's still getting to know.
"Dan?" Blair knocks softly at the door and he moves to open it.
"Hey," he whispers as she steps into the bathroom, "You okay?"
"They're telling stories about our wedding... and somehow I felt out of place."
Dan closes the door so the others can't hear them and smiles at her sadly.
"It's hard, you know?" she starts, "Having all of my friends tell me how happy and in love we were and I might never remember that feeling, and you just have to sit there- hoping that I do."
"If this is too weird for you, we can leave." he says softly and rests a hand on the side of her neck.
"Nate's talking about fruity pebble sundaes for dessert…" her nose scrunches up in disgust.
"I have a carton of hazelnut gelato at the apartment," he lets his hand slide back so that his fingers are in her hair. She doesn't seem to mind. Her lips are still soft and poised in front of his face with a small smile. God he wants to kiss her.
"That sounds perfect."
Blair stands on her tippy toes to press a gentle kiss to his jaw before making her way out to the table. Dan arrives a few minutes later, only to announce that he has a terrible migraine and he and Blair will be calling it a night.
"A migraine?" Serena asks, looking from Blair to Dan suspiciously, "At least give an excuse you haven't used before."
"We've used that before?" Blair asks, and the laugh that escapes her is surprisingly genuine considering the awkward situation.
"Many times," Nate winks at her while Dan helps her out of her seat.
Chuck sits with a disappointed look on his face and Dan wonders if he's going to give up this dream of a second chance anytime soon. It clearly hasn't been working in his favor so far. This would be the second night that Blair was leaving to spend time with Dan. He would almost feel bad for the guy if the guy wasn't Chuck.
Blair drops her purse in the hallway and Dan tries not to watch as she bends over to pick it up. He throws an arm around her shoulders as they step into the elevator.
She stays pressed against his side as they ride down the six floors and then they push open the door to the cool fall air and climb into their town car.
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When they get back to the apartment, Blair begins complaining about her dress and Dan reminds her that they are, in fact, in their apartment, so she should be able to find something else to wear. He throws Highway 61 Revisited on the record player and pours them each a glass of red wine.
"How's this?"
Dan turns around and Blair is standing in one of his red flannels and an old pair of long soccer socks. It shockingly looks even better than the dress.
"That's not fair," he moves towards her, handing her her glass of wine, "You have a closet full of clothes in there and you chose this?"
She bites her lip to fight a smile and shrugs her shoulders as she takes a sip from her glass. Her lips are immediately stained a deep red.
"So I know Serena has showed you all of our awful posed engagement and wedding photos, but if you would humor me I have an album of my own."
"Is that right?" she grins and plops down on the couch. Oliver leaps from his spot on the floor to sit next to her. Dan sits on the other side and pulls the album out of the coffee table drawer. On the cover is a picture of Serena leaning into Dan's side, kissing his cheek, and Blair standing to the side rolling her eyes with her arms folded over her chest.
"How old were we?"
"Sixteen." his breath catches in his throat when Blair reaches an arm over his lap to turn to the first page. He always hated posed photos. There was something insincere about them. You couldn't capture how everyone was feeling at that exact moment if they were frozen in poses. That's why he started his own album of candid pictures of him and Blair. The first few pages were provided by Serena and involved stolen glances at parties when Blair still despised him. She giggles quietly, pointing at some of the more humorous facial expressions.
"This one," Dan clears his throat, "This is one of my favorites."
It was from a few months after their first kiss. The picture was originally a group shot of everyone; Serena, Nate, Chuck, Eric, Blair, and Dan- all the kids- but Dan had zoomed in on himself, smiling with his hands up in surrender, and Blair, brown waves tied back in a pony tail, her finger jabbing him in the chest.
He had asked her on their first date seconds before the picture was taken.
"When was this?" Blair points to a picture of her and Dan standing at a bar, laughing. Her tiny hand is tugging at the bottom of his shirt which has been messily untucked, and he's staring down at her with the drunken affection of someone who is realizing he's in love with the girl standing in front of him.
"Uh, we'd been dating for a couple months I think."
"You look in love," she says.
"I was."
A few tears stream down Blair's face as she laughs at the pictures in front of her. He starts to understand what she means about how hard it is to not remember. He can't even imagine what it'd be like not to know exactly how he was feeling in each of those moments.
"This is from our engagement party," he points out. Blair is jumping on Dan's back trying to grab something out of his hand and Nate and Serena are bent over laughing hysterically, "I found vows you wrote for Nate when you were like twelve and was reading them aloud to everyone."
Blair jabs her elbow into his side and they both laugh. Out of habit, he wraps an arm around her waist, his thumb grazing her bare hip bone. If she notices, she doesn't comment on it. Her eyes are hazy and her lips are red from the wine and Dan thinks she could probably fall asleep in his arms. This whole time he had been looking at the accident as a curse that would change anything, but sitting with Blair in the living room, he didn't feel any different. He probably never would.
"These are so much better than the ones Serena showed me," her head rests gently on his shoulder and Dan turns the page to the wedding pictures.
There's a couple from the ceremony, but the best ones are from the reception. One picture in particular seems to stand out to Blair, because she pulls it off of the adhesive to examine it more closely. Dan and Blair are tucked away at a dark corner table. He's whispering something into her ear. Her cheeks are flushed pink, a prominent smile across her face.
"I don't get it," she says softly, and he waits for her to continue. "How can I not remember this? How can I not remember this feeling?"
"I don't know," Dan swallows hard.
"I want to," she lifts her head to meet his gaze.
"I know," he can feel himself leaning in, as if he has no control over his actions. Blair's eyes flutter closed and she lets out a small sigh. Their lips barely touch when Blair pulls away. Dan feels like a bucket of ice water was poured on his head.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles and rises from the couch, "I should go to bed. Thank you for the nice night, Dan."
