A/N: All right, here's the next chapter. I don't know if I liked it as much; it sounded rather preachy/whiny in my head. If there's any humor, it'll be dark rather than light, hehe.

Aaaaaand… I don't own Death Note.

XXX

University A Application Form

Name: Sayu Yagami

DOB: 6/18/1989

Celebrity crush: Hideki Ryuga

Role model: Light Yagami

Please describe a meaningful travel experience that you have had. (1500 chars.)

I was twenty-one when I was kidnapped and brought from Japan to the United States. I won't mention the name of the one who was behind my kidnapping, but I will say that in some twisted sense, I am grateful to him.

Before I was kidnapped, my life was just one long parade of new shoes, new boyfriends, new TV dramas, and still more trivialities. Everything was about me and what I wanted. The id, I believe Freud called it? Yes… that all disappeared when they snatched me from the streets of Tokyo.

At first, everything seemed completely illogical. What could they want with an innocent college girl like me? They didn't talk much to me, because I didn't have the information they wanted. He spoke to me once, though. He had a terrible accent, but I understood this much: "You look like you'd be a queen bee kind of girl back at school. But I'm sure you've realized, you're not a queen here. You're just a pawn, and you were unlucky enough to be on the wrong side."

The months after I was released were hard, but I clung to what he said, and I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could be not a queen, but at least a bishop or something. Not that I'm religious. I just wish that I could make a difference sometimes and change the world. Just maybe.

Find X. (1500 chars.)

It's right there! See?

Haha, did you really think I would just put that as my answer? Of course there's more.

Years ago, my brother would help me with math homework. Quadratic equations were not my forte. I just could never isolate that pesky x and figure out what it was, but Light's pencil always glided so effortlessly over the paper and revealed the letter. After weeks of practice, I could finally solve for x without being reduced to tears. It felt as if the gates of heaven had been opened, and I had discovered the answer to life and its mysteries.

Now, the equation is much larger, too complex to describe here, yet all too well-known to everyone. The problem is life, but… what is the problem?

I don't know. I could claim it's PTSD, or general anxiety disorder, or just… what? I know this is wrong, that admissions officers don't want to hear it, that every applicant has to have a perfect life. But it's not like that.

What's wrong? I can't find x if I don't know what the question is. But you know what? I feel that everyone is like that. If we had all the questions AND all the answers, we'd be gods. Perhaps we're just not meant to know. Find x? No thanks.

XXX

A/N: So…? Ah well, every story must have at least one chapter that's a flop… conversely, perhaps you liked this illuminated side of Sayu better? *gets hopes up

Oh, whatevs, I promise the next chapter will be more coherent =)