Chapter 3
Kylo felt the presence of Rey and his mother well before the speeder they used arrived at the second ship, which was kept in a different shipyard for security reasons, according to Finn.
"You see, we're a pretty big deal here in the Resistance, and we don't want our entire forces wiped out in an air raid, so we have them scattered across different shipyards around the planet. Still, we meet up here for dinners because this ship has the best kitchen and cook," Finn explained.
This ship, apparently, was a medical frigate, and both Rey and Leia were standing outside it when they arrived. As Kylo had noted through the force well before they arrived, they had noticed his presence and neither of them were happy to see him. However, his disguise was clearly unexpected, and Kylo offered a wry grin at the open shock emanating from both of them at his appearance when the speeder stopped in front of them. His mother, at least, was doing a proper job hiding most of her surprise from her face. Rey, however, would catch a lot of flies if she kept her mouth open like that.
Chewie immediately hopped off in the direction of the food, giving Leia and Rey a friendly wave as he passed them by. "I didn't expect you two to be waiting for us. Did Chewie radio ahead? We have our new radar technician," Rose announced. "This is Matt. He needs some training, but he'll work for free!"
"Rey, what's wrong?" Finn asked.
Rey closed her mouth and looked to Finn. She pointed a finger at Kylo. "That's-"
Kylo sighed. My Star Destroyer is in orbit above your pitiful Resistance. Should I give them your coordinates? Kylo thought to Rey before she could give him away.
Rey took a step back, as if stung.
Why are you here? Rey thought back.
Why, indeed. He thought to where his lightsaber was hidden in his utility vest and how easy it would be to pull it out now and… but he could not afford to risk that vision right now.
The force compels me. He responded. Rey's eyes widened at that, and he watched her exchange an uneasy glance with his mother. If he had to guess, Rey was relaying what he had told her via the force.
"Hello, Rey? General, what's wrong with her?" Finn asked. Next to him, Rose shrugged.
The general looked sharply at Kylo, then turned to face Rose. "Thank you for taking care of finding a new radar technician, Rose. If you don't mind, I would like to borrow… Matt, was it? I would like to ask how we might help him be more comfortable."
"No one ever asked me how to make me more comfortable when I joined," Finn complained.
"My sincerest apologies, Finn. I'll make the time to discuss your needs later this evening," General Organa said. "For now, I'm sure you and Rose are hungry, so why don't you go ahead while Rey and I speak to Matt?"
"Of course. Come on, Finn," Rose said, and pulled a still defiant Finn along with her.
Kylo looked between the scavenger and his mother as the others disappeared. Rey hadn't changed much since he last saw her. New clothes and a new weird hairstyle, but that was it. His mother, however, he had not seen in person in years. He studied the wrinkles of her face and hands, the gray in her hair, the added weight to her once slender figure. It was strange, seeing her so diminished, but he recognized the fire in her eyes when she turned to speak to him.
"Ben, tell me. Why are you here? And why in that disguise? It is a good one. I'm not sure I would have recognized you without the force to aid me." his mother asked.
Kylo frowned. Though he knew he would have to face her, he hadn't actually thought about what he might say.
"He said that the force compelled him to be here, and that there is a Star Destroyer in orbit ready to fire at his order," Rey said.
"So you told me," his mother acknowledged. "Is this true, Ben?"
Kylo suppressed an urge to roll his eyes. How many times had his mother confronted him on rumors of his doings, always wanting to hear his version of the story in the vain hope he might provide some happy insight for his motivations. "You have nothing to fear so long as you play along with my Matt disguise." For now.
"You still have good in you, don't you?" his mother said. "Rey had told me she felt your conflict. I hadn't believed it possible, yet you're here to-"
"I ordered for everyone in the Resistance on Crait to be killed. No exceptions. No quarter. I wanted you all dead then, and that hasn't changed."
Both women flinched, and his mother's eyes watered. Kylo felt pain in his own heart at the sight and hated it. The sooner this was done, the sooner he would never have to feel again.
"Then why..?" his mother asked.
"It doesn't matter, General," Rey said. "It's like I told you. What light he had is gone now. Ben, we have your word that you won't attack the Resistance if we don't reveal your identity?"
Kylo gazed at the woman he had been willing to share the galaxy with a few weeks ago. He still found her attractive even when she was glaring at him. He hated it and hated her for it. "You do, not that you have a choice."
Rey frowned. "No, I suppose we don't. Come on, General, let's go join the others for dinner. Matt doesn't need us."
His mother looked stricken, but she allowed Rey to take her elbow and lead her back to the ship. Kylo took a moment to shove away his own pain at feeling their disappointment before he followed them inside and to the ship galley.
Once inside, Kylo stared at the chaos in some confusion. There were dozens of tables filled with all sorts of life, human, humanoid, and otherwise, all eating the same selection of food. He got in line and grabbed a tray of food, then studied the mess before him, looking for an empty table so he could eat in peace and solitude.
There were no empty tables.
He studied his options, noting that Rose was with Finn and that pilot Kylo had captured on Jakku-Poe Dameron. Chewie, however, sat alone at another table. Of course, Kylo could try sitting with a total stranger, but he suspected Chewbacca would be less likely to expect him to talk. He had just decided to join Chewie when he felt Rey's presence behind him.
"You're coming with me," Rey said. "We need to talk."
"I'm not, and we don't," Kylo countered, though his traitor heart was thrilled that she sought him out, whatever the reason. She had fooled him once. She would not fool him twice. His heart would get over its excitement without giving in.
"You will come with me and speak to me," Rey said, and Kylo felt the brush of the force over his mind.
Fine. He could play along if she was so determined. After all, he would need to be close enough to her to prevent the vision. "I will come with you and speak to you," he said, mimicking someone under her control.
He felt Rey's relief and guilt hit him at once, and he nearly rolled his eyes. She had no business feeling guilty for such a small thing after leading him on so indecorously.
Rey led him out of the galley and to a small bedroom down the hall that contained little more than a twin bed and a small cabinet. "Sorry, it's the only place I know we'll have privacy. Go ahead and sit down if you like," she said. Kylo sat down on the small bed but remained mute, keeping up the act. "Oh, that's right. Umm… how do I release someone from a force suggestion?"
"Telling them to carry on as usual is what Luke recommended to me," Kylo said, unable to resist the teaching moment.
Rey yelped and stepped back before recovering. "The force suggestion didn't work on you at all, did it?"
Kylo shook his head and studied her. Why did the force have to draw him back to her? Her new hairstyle was even more bizarre than the first one he had seen. Instead of three buns going down the back of her head, she had four loose buns evenly spaced over her head, almost like the wings of an x-wing poking out slightly behind and above her ears. Still, he felt drawn to her.
"Is that comfortable?" he asked her.
"What?" Rey asked.
"Your hair. Mother at least had the sense to stick with hairstyles that would not bounce when she moved."
Rey frowned at him. "They're comfortable enough. We can't all have hair long enough to wrap it tight and still be pretty."
She was pretty, but it annoyed him that she cared. "I didn't think vanity was becoming of a jedi knight," Kylo jabbed.
Rey glared at him. "So did you hunt the Resistance down, join us in disguise, and threaten us with an orbital strike just to make fun of me?"
"Tempting as it might be, no," Kylo said.
"What is it, then? The lightsaber? We both know it's broken. The crystal split in two."
He had actually forgotten about his grandfather's lightsaber. However, now that she mentioned it, he should make a point to reclaim the pieces before he left them. "Not that either."
Rey screwed her face up in frustration. "Then why? You didn't need to infiltrate us to kill me."
"It's as I said. The force compels me to be here."
Rey stared at him with a raised eyebrow. "The force compelled you to wear a blond wig and fake glasses, call yourself Matt, and volunteer to be our radar technician?"
Kylo ground his teeth together. "Unfortunately, yes." How many times would he have to answer that question?
"That can't be all there is to it," Rey said. Her eyes widened. "Wait, did the First Order kick you out? Who's in charge up there?"
"Hux, under my orders," Kylo said simply. "He knows what's going on and is working with me, not against me."
"So if I want the truth of why you're here, I should scan his mind?" Rey asked.
"Can you do that from this distance?" Kylo asked, genuinely curious. He had trouble scanning minds from just a few feet away.
Rey shrugged as if she had never considered it. Knowing her, she hadn't. "Why not just tell me?"
"We're not allies in this," he said. Rey stared at him expectantly. "You'll get the wrong idea." Rey waited patiently, and Kylo sighed. Well, it was her own fault if she got confused. "I've had two recurring force visions. In one, I see myself dressed as Matt the radar technician and working for Rose Tico. In the other, I see you fall off a cliff in a situation where the others could not save you, but perhaps someone with the force could."
Rey remained silent, but he could feel hope blossom within her, and it was all wrong.
"No. Don't hope. Stop that. Stop hoping! I'm not here because I want to save you," he said.
Rey shook her head. "You just told me you-"
"I don't! I'm done with you. I want you to die, but the vision happens every time I…" he paused, feeling the beginning of the vision sweep over him as the colors faded from the room. "No, stop!"
And he was back on that cliff. This time, he noticed that Rey's friends included both Rose and Finn. Kylo was watching this from some distance away, as if he were intentionally excluded and unwanted. Rey was near the cliff, and he cried out when she startled and fell.
He came too still screaming for her, and there she was, living and breathing before him, looking at him with shock and concern. She was sitting down beside him on the bed, her hand caressing the side of his face. "Ben?" Rey asked.
Kylo jerked away from her, rolling off the bed into a crouch on the floor. "Don't touch me!" he roared.
"You were screaming my name," Rey said as if that explained everything. "You were calling for me like you… like you still cared for me."
"I don't!" Kylo said in a panic, but he could tell Rey wasn't buying it. "I don't," he said, more to himself than her, and he leaped over the bed and darted out of her room, breathless from fear. "I don't. I don't. I can't!"
"You can't what?" Rose asked. "Oh, sorry for startling you, Matt. I was looking for you, and the General said she had seen you leave the galley with Rey. I still need to show you where you're sleeping, right?"
"Right," he said, trying to calm his thoughts without pulling out his lightsaber to destroy everything in sight as he usually did.
"Did you have a good dinner with Rey?" Rose asked.
"Umm," he said. He had forgotten all about it. His meal must still be in Rey's room. "Uh…"
Rose smiled brightly at him. "Hey, no need to be shy about it. I get it. She's pretty and powerful, and you're…" Rose scanned him briefly and wrinkled her nose with a slight frown. "Anyway, she's never shown interest in anyone else here like that, so I'll help you two out. You can count on me!"
Kylo's heart dropped as he realize that Rose had misunderstood the situation completely. "No need. There's really no need," he said, but he recognized Rose's mind had already been made. His new boss had decided to play matchmaker for him and Rey.
Long chapter. Fun chapter to write, though!
Please tell me what you think!
