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Part 3- With Friends like These
Carolyn feels like a stalker; standing in her little office at the door, listening to the sound of the nurses tending to SG-1. Cameron has managed to get hurt again, and as usual it takes all of her willpower to not rush outside and tend to him.
It is the usual situation: she's hiding while SG-1 gets their post- mission check- up.
And she doesn't know why.
She doesn't even know why she broke up with Cameron when she is completely honest with herself, which she usually is. Unless it is about Cameron, though by now she has admitted that she finished things with them over reasons that now seem ridiculous.
When they fought, or rather when she started the fight, it seemed so crystal clear to her.
It was her fault.
But her pride is in her way. She can't walk up to Cameron and apologize. She just can't.
But they have to talk, or otherwise she will just storm out of her office one day and jump him.
Unless he is hurt, of course. Then she'll just kiss his wounds and make him feel better.
In front of everybody.
Oh, and she'll also apologize.
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She's having her breakfast in the cantine when Vala plops down beside her.
"Dr Lam."
"Vala."
"Can we talk?"
"Is this about Colonel Mitchell?"
"Yes."
"Any chance I can avoid this?"
"No."
"What is it then?"
Maybe she should phrased that one nicer.
"I'm sorry, that come out harsh."
Vala waves it off with a smile.
"That's alright, because what I have to say won't be very nice."
And just like that, the smile is gone. Carolyn is feeling very apprehensive all of sudden.
"You hurt him when you have lunch, and I will hurt you."
"I was not planning on hurting him during lunch, believe me."
"I believed that you would not hurt him before you broke up with him, so excuse me if I don't really trust you at the moment."
Carolyn knows her facial expression is one of chagrin at the moment.
"I never meant to hurt him."
"You did. Don't do it again."
Vala's threatening frown softens.
"Please."
"I've learned my lesson, believe me."
Silence for a minute.
"I did not want to actually threaten you, and if I ever hurt you, both Cameron and General Landry would hurt me more, but Cameron is my friend, and I care about him. I just hate so see him like this…"
More silence. It's not uncomfortable, though, so Carolyn doesn't mind it, and neither does Vala.
"Weren't you supposed to stay on base for today?"
"Yeah, but there was a reported Prior appearance on a planet we had visited before and we checked it out."
"You sure came back quick."
"We retreated when we were attacked with stones by the natives."
"Cameron?"
"He was hurt. As was Daniel. It's always the same."
Dramatic sigh that only Vala can pull off.
"Teal'c always gets abducted and beaten up. Cameron just gets hurt."
Carolyn lets out a small laugh.
"He has a talent for that, yes."
"And I don't him more hurt. I know you care to about him, Dr Lam, but he is just as afraid as you are, even if he is better at hiding it. Your father is the general, after all!"
"Cameron is afraid?"
Hm, seems as though there is someone who knows him rather well.
"I might have exaggerated that a bit…"
"Don't worry, Vala. I don't have any intentions to hurt him during lunch today."
"And later?"
"Not voluntarily, no."
"Fair enough."
Mission accomplished, Vala gets up and leaves. Carolyn remains sitting, staring bemusedly after the alien, even more resolved now to work things out with Cameron, now that she has someone to look out for.
Beware the wrath of Vala should someone hurt Cameron.
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"Daniel."
"Vala."
"Can I talk to you for a moment?"
"Of course."
"Do you have a listening device?"
"What for?"
"Oh, don't look so suspicious."
"You want to listen in on Mitchell and Dr Lam, don't you?!"
"Well…"
"Vala! You can't spy on them!"
"Why not? It is going to such an interesting conversation!"
"It's not… right."
"Fine, I'll ask Sam then."
"Vala, don't! Vala! Valaaaa!"
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Carolyn is tending to a member of SG- 24 who just came back from a mission and need their usual check- up, when Cameron comes into the infirmary.
"Hey. We still on for lunch?"
She smiles at him.
"Of course. Give me ten minutes."
"I'll be waiting outside."
He leaves and she goes back to cleaning a cut on the Marine's cheek. The man in front of her doesn't react in any way to the exchange, though she can feel a couple of her nurses practically kill her with their looks. It's not envious views or anything. The nurses know that Cameron Mitchell is hers, and while they all lust after him or Daniel Jackson, none of them have ever even attempted to come on to 'her man' as they refer to Cameron.
She is not exactly dreading the upcoming conversation, in fact, she is looking forward to clearing the air, but on the other hand, she is afraid, and rightly so, in her mind. The reason she had for breaking up with Cameron seems more and more ridiculous, especially when she hears her nurses singing their praises on him, and she silently agrees with them.
It will be hard enough to explain it to him without hurting him any more than she already has. At least the part where she has to apologize and explain will be the hardest of the whole thing, unless Cameron of course decides to not give her a second chance. The rest of lunch, once the apology is out of the way she is sure will be pleasant. As long as Cameron accepts her apology and reasons.
"Haven't seen him in a while."
Nurse Coldman is behind her all of sudden, searching for a syringe in the drawer beside Carolyn, though what for Carolyn has no idea. SG- 24 came back healthy and there are no other patients in the infirmary for a change.
Which reminds her: she will have to check on Cameron's head. Just to make sure that the wound he received has been treated correctly. Not that she doubts her staff, but better safe than sorry.
And it will give her an excuse to get near and touch him.
"Yeah. He was busy."
"Aha. But when is he not?"
Coldman clearly does not believe her, and while Carolyn usually does not mind to confide in the other woman, she is not too keen to do so in front of a Marine. Or any other member of any other SG- team. Unless it's SG-1 because they knew about her and Cameron. Kinda hard to ignore them when they were always sitting together during movie nights, or out on dates, having lunch, cuddling, and there was that one evening when Cameron had blown off the team in order to go shopping with her, and they had been caught kissing in the mall's Starbucks by Vala and Jackson.
Carolyn turns to give Coldman her most calculating cold gaze, signalling her to drop the topic now, and the woman takes the hint, thank you very much. When strolling over to her own Marine, she throws a look back at Carolyn, signalling her in return that this conversation if far from over, and Carolyn better spill the beans on what happened during lunch, or hide.
Carolyn can think of a couple of places to hide. Cameron's quarters and his apartment are at the top of her list, and she asks herself for the millionth time why she broke up with him, possibly damaged their relationship forever.
If he cannot forgive her, it's herself she has to blame.
Carolyn does not need any more blame on her shoulders than she already carries, so she just hopes for the best.
The Marine is done, she sends him off on his merry way, or not so merry, you never know with Marines, pulls off the gloves and sets out to meet Cameron for lunch.
The man in question is already leaning in the doorway to the infirmary, braced on left arm, right hand tucked into his pocket, following her every move, and when she leaves, she knows that all her nurses' eyes are on them.
You gotta love the gossip mill that is the SGC.
But that is the least of her concerns now. All her concentration is centered on Cameron.
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"Here they come."
"ValaMalDoran, are you certain that ColonelMitchell or DrLam will not notice that you are following them?"
"No. That's why you are with me, Muscles. We will have lunch as well."
"How convenient that there is only one free table."
"Yes, very convenient. I'm sure Sam and Daniel won't mind if we sit at their table."
"I do not doubt that. However, I doubt that ColonelMitchell and DrLam will have a deep conversation when they are aware of us."
"I have to disagree, Teal'c."
"How is that, ColonelCarter?"
"Cameron really needs to talk to Carolyn. She needs to talk to him. They need to get back together, so that Vala will stop nagging us."
"Thank you, Samantha. I could not have expressed it in a better way."
"I still do not see what we will gain from spying on two people we consider friends."
"It will satisfy the female curiousity."
"What do you need DanielJackson and myself for then, ColonelCarter?"
"Well, Daniel is also curious as a female, or he wouldn't run around the galaxy trying to figure out things."
"I'm an archaeologist, Vala. It's what I'm paid to do."
"Oh please. You're a woman in a man's body when it comes to gossiping."
"Sam, stop laughing. Ganging up is not fair."
"Only when directed at ColonelMitchell."
"Would you all shut up, they are coming."
"It would appear even more suspicious than it already does did we not talk, ValaMalDoran."
"You're right. But only quiet talking. And nothing of importance."
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"What are you having?"
"Just jello. I took a glance at what they served for actual lunch, and it looked appalling. No way am I going to be able to eat that junk. Bah. Good thing I didn't have time to have breakfast this morning, made a sandwich. Haven't had the chance to eat it yet, so I guess it'll be my dinner."
"Hm, that will be much better than this. I think those are supposed to be mashed potatoes but this mass looks like the insides of a stomach."
"I miss your romantic conversation talk."
Carolyn looks over at Cameron, and he turns an interesting shade of red.
"Well, it's what I do best, isn't that what you said?"
"Well, yeah. And I was right, wasn't I?"
She giggles, something she rarely does and only in the company of people she absolutely trusts.
"I just miss you."
"Me, too."
She swallows hard, pushes her plate aside. Only decorum stops her from reaching over the table to grab his hand. Funny, how they have already fallen back into a pattern that they can't seem to shake, even after a separation. Hand- grabbing when having food is something of a compulsion between them outside the SGC, or spying eyes.
Speaking of spying eyes, she doubts it is coincidence that four of her nurses and the rest of SG-1 are having lunch at the same time.
"Can you feel their eyes on us, too?"
He toothily grins at her.
"Yup. Nothing we can do about it, though. I wouldn't put it behind Vala to not have installed bugs in my quarters or my office. Just ignore them."
"I was an idiot. I was afraid, and the fear was unjustified. I'm not ashamed of you, how could I? But I just kept thinking of my parents, and how they were torn apart. I don't want to go through that, or have my children go through that. I don't want that to happen to us."
"It would not happen to us. Your mother didn't know about your father's job, and he couldn't tell her what happened at work. They had secrets from each other, and that is never good for a relationship. But with us, we can tell each other everything, you have a high enough security clearance that I can talk to you about our missions."
"I know that, logically. My mind tells me that I'm mentally challenged for ever making you go. But my heart, it… I… I was too afraid."
He stares at the table, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down a couple of times.
"Cameron, I'm so so so sorry. I can't say it enough. And it's alright if you won't forgive me. But please, give me another chance. Try."
Still, he does not react, and fear is curdling in Carolyn's stomach. Maybe she has read the signs wrong. Maybe he really does not want to come back together with her. Maybe he hates her now.
"Don't hate me."
More silence. When he finally answers, it is so softly spoken she can barely hear him above the ruckus of the cantine.
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you."
He stares at his hands, forehead furrowed in thought.
"I love you, Cameron. Forgive me, please."
He takes a quick look around the cantine, but from the vacancy of his look she knows that he isn't really taking in anything.
"I don't like being kept a secret."
There is nothing really, that she can say to that. The way he speaks, so silent, she knows she has hurt him more deeply than even he is aware of. His voice as good as never takes on such a low level of intensity.
"If we do this, I want to be as open about us as possible."
Carolyn has to swallow hard to keep the tears at bay. Unexpected tears. Shows, what Cameron does to her.
"My parents want to meet you. They thought Vala was you when we were home."
"I want to meet them, too. I want my mum to meet you."
He lifts his head, gives her a hint of a smile, so fleeting she would have missed it had she blinked.
"I kissed Amy Vanderburg."
"Oh."
"I don't know why I did it. Maybe it was the childish side in me that wanted to get back at you. Maybe I tried to forget you."
"Did it work?"
"Absolutely not."
They share a short look, glance away, then back at each other.
"So, if I forgive you, could you forgive me?"
Right now, Carolyn would really like to throw caution to the wind and kiss Cameron right here and now. In the middle of the cantine of the SGC where the gossiping mill is already running wild because her and Colonel Cameron Mitchell are having lunch for the first time in 18 days.
Yes, she has kept count.
"Yeah, I think I could do that. But I'd have to know if you forgive me, of course."
He gives her a slight smile that makes her insides curl. Then he shakes his head, as if in disbelief.
"You know, when I was coming to pick you up, I was determined to give you a hard time, to make you more or less beg you on your knees, you know, be a cold- hearted bastard."
A rueful smile.
"You're not that kinda guy, Cameron Mitchell. Your mama raised you too well."
"Yeah, I'm a regular nice Southern boy."
"One of the reasons why I love you. One of the few gentlemen left in this world. Or the SGC, at least."
"Don't go out much, do you?"
"Don't have a reason to. You see, I met this guy on my second week here, he was new, wearing his Class A's. Looked very handsome, and was a charmer. I fell for him, pretty hard. So I didn't really have to go out and look for a guy."
Their eyes meet, and they hold. Carolyn continues.
"But I was stupid, and afraid. I broke up with him. And whenever I went out after that, none of the men I saw came even close to him."
He decided to play along.
"So, what you doin' now?"
"I'm trying to convince him to take me back. How am I doing so far?"
"You're doing very well, Dr Lam."
She smiles in relief, and he smiles back.
"Yeah, I forgive you."
Again, she would like to kiss him right here, right now.
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"You forgive me, too?"
"Of course."
They stare at each other, have a silent conversation with their eyes.
"You free tonight?"
He sighs exaggeratedly.
"Well, it was supposed to be movie night tonight."
Said loud enough for the team to overhear him. And of course, they know they've been busted since the very beginning of their conversation, so they don't even try to pretend to be taken aback. Sam winks at Carolyn while Vala is just smiling her big smile. Jackson and Teal'c try to appear unaffected but if she squints hard enough, Carolyn can see traces of smiles on both men's faces.
"I think we can forgive you for once, Cameron, if you don't turn up for movie night."
He chuckles.
"Thank you very much."
"You're most welcome."
"Now please, move it. You've heard all the gossip. Leave us alone. And Vala, remove the bugs in my office, please."
Vala looks at him as if he is insane, but then just smiles again. Cameron rolls his eyes.
"Dinner at my place? I could make pasta."
He waggles his eyebrows and grins. He knows she loves his pasta.
"With antipasti?"
"If you buy them, yes. I haven't had time to go shopping really."
"Sure. Round eight- ish?"
"Make that nine- ish. I have a meeting with the general and the other team leaders at six. Usually we are out at eight, but this could take a bit longer because of what happened in Kansas."
"Sounds great."
"Good. Looking forward to it."
"Me, too."
"We haven't done that in a while."
"Yeah. It'll be good to catch up."
"Talk."
"Yeah, there's stuff we have to talk about."
"I agree. And we can do that tonight."
"When we are alone."
"Away from spying team members."
"Nurses."
"The cantine."
"Just the two of us."
"Yes. Just the two of us."
Comfortable silence.
They remain seated, and they keep staring at each other. Neither of them minds.
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"So, how was it?"
"Why are you even asking? You sat two tables away from us, and you were all ears. Did you remove all the bugs from my quarters and office?"
"Cameron, how would I know how to get into your private quarters or office?"
"Same way you did before."
"I'm appalled that you would even suggest such a thing."
"Vala."
"Yes, I removed all of them. There were only six anyways."
"Six? You planted six bugs into my office and quarters?"
"Well… It was actually six in both of them."
"Vala, I-!"
"Oh, is that Daniel I hear calling for me? I have to go."
"Vala!"
