Chapter 3
It was always dark. He liked it that way.
Cloud sat in his room, the curtains drawn. The sun was hidden behind rain clouds that day, and Cloud took it as a sign that he should stay inside. Tifa was busy since it was Saturday, her bar probably packed as she dealt with the weekend hoards. This gave Cloud time to think.
To think about his fiancé, to think about what he did wrong for what happened to happen. He looked at his wrists, the skin smooth. The scars had healed over a long time ago, no longer gruesome red marks on his skin. He remembered how the pain felt, how good it felt to finally feel the pain inside present itself on his skin.
By accident he had cut too deep, allowing the injuries to put him in the hospital. Tifa took it as an act to commit suicide, but Cloud didn't want to die. He just wanted to feel the pain. He wanted to feel the pain so it would stop hurting inside.
"Go."
Cloud found himself in the bathroom, his eyes staring down the razor there. Tifa threw away all of his razors so it wouldn't happen again, but Cloud knew when she would be around and when she wouldn't be now. He walked over to the counter, his fingers touching the smooth metal. He looked up at the sound of a knock on his door, his lips pulling down into a frown of annoyance.
Cloud put the razor away incase it was Tifa, walking over to the front door and opening it. Cloud's eyes widened in disbelief when he saw Sephiroth standing at the door, his lips parting slightly in shock. His signature silver hair was put up in a bun and covered by a hat, and his legs clad in leather pants but a peacoat replacing his usual leather cloak.
Cloud was standing there in a pair of shorts, his shirt absent of his body. Sephiroth noticed that quickly, his eyes flickering from Cloud's face to his bare chest. Cloud turned around sharply and headed to his room, putting on a shirt. Sephiroth took it upon himself to enter his apartment, closing the door softly behind him.
Cloud walked out of his room, looking to Sephiroth as he suddenly became the elephant in the room. Cloud wasn't worried about a mess, since he kept his living quarters clean because Tifa would get on him if he didn't. Cloud sighed, wondering how he honestly got into this situation.
Suddenly a bunch of flowers were presented to him, Cloud surprised from their abundance. He took the bouquet slowly, looking over the many flowers. He hadn't seen such a variety since his days in Wutai, Cloud's lips tilting up into a smile as he remembered those days.
"Do you like them?" Cloud looked up to Sephiroth, the taller man almost seeming anxious for an answer. Cloud looked back to the flowers, walking into his kitchen. He looked for a vase, finding one Tifa bought for him a couple months before.
"You need flowers. This place always seems dead."
Cloud put the flowers he got into a vase with some water, the usual dark room suddenly bursting with color and light. Cloud put it on his coffee table, the room in which he hated so much suddenly having a new vibe to it.
"It's been a while since I've seen so much flowers in one place." Cloud turned away, looking to Sephiroth who was as stiff as a rock. Cloud was almost tempted to laugh, the over confident man suddenly an anxious boy.
"I called you, but you didn't answer." Cloud raised an eyebrow, getting his phone from his room. His eyes widened at the number of calls, five missed calls from Sephiroth and two from Tifa. Cloud had been so lost in thought he probably didn't hear it.
"I wasn't sure if you still wanted to go on a date with me or not so I came to pick you up." Cloud looked to Sephiroth, wondering why he was so damn determined to go out with him. No matter how much Cloud ignored him, Sephiroth increased his efforts by a thousand. Cloud could only imagine if they got into an argument.
"I'll get dressed." Cloud went to his room, figuring he wouldn't just be able to kick the guy out. If he did, Sephiroth's guards would probably drag him out to the dinner. Cloud looked to the time, wondering when it had suddenly become nighttime.
Had he been dwelling on his past all day?
He hadn't eaten all day because of it, his stomach growling grudgingly. Cloud ignored it, closing his bedroom door. He looked through his closet for something formal, only to come up empty handed. He sighed softly, looking to his old suitcase. His clothing from before was in there, and probably still fit him. Cloud grabbed it, the top opening.
That was where Tifa got the shirt!
The bitch!
Cloud looked through the clothing in the suitcase, his body recoiling at the thought of wearing such clothing. This would make him visible. His hair used to make him visible, but everybody was so used to it now that it went ignored. It was probably how Sephiroth recognized him though.
Cloud took out a pair of gray skinny jeans, a small chain attached for his wallet. He pulled out a red shirt and pulled a black leather jacket over that. He put on the red and white Jordan's, hesitantly looking at himself in the life sized mirror against the far wall.
Why was he dressing like this for Sephiroth?
Cloud was about to change when the door opened, Tifa standing there with wide eyes of disbelief. Cloud gasped when he was pulled out of his room and dragged to the bathroom by her, Tifa's face lit up with a smile.
She slicked down the spikes on the side of his head with gel, giving him the same look as the day of the club.
"I'm proud of you."
Cloud looked to Tifa through the mirror, the smile still there. Cloud couldn't explain why he didn't want to wear black on this date, but Tifa took it as a sign he was getting over his depression. Cloud knew he wasn't. It was still there, just waiting to destroy his every happy moment.
Cloud walked to the living room when Tifa was finished with his hair and he brushed his teeth, Sephiroth standing up from his seat on the couch. His eyes roamed over Cloud's outfit before they moved back up to his eyes, Cloud frowning as he walked to the door.
"Let's go." Sephiroth followed behind him, Cloud sighing as he checked if he had his phone and wallet. He kind of wanted to ride fenrir, but the last thing he wanted was Sephiroth leaning on him. He stopped in front of the building, his eyes widening when he saw a limo parked out front. Cloud looked to Sephiroth, the taller man almost looking sheepish.
Cloud hoped nobody saw him as he exited the building, Sephiroth always a couple steps behind him. Cloud stopped when a man opened the limo door, his facial features stoic. Cloud didn't want to get in, almost afraid of what might happen if he did. He got in out of fear he would be seen if he stood outside too long, going to the far side. Sephiroth followed, sitting on the seat opposite of him.
"Too much?" Sephiroth asked, Cloud looking to the taller man with a calculating eye. Sephiroth was probably used to this type of pampered lifestyle, but Cloud certainly was not. Cloud shook his head no, not wanting the other man to have a mental break down over something stupid. The limo went on, silence ringing in the air.
"We'll be there in fifteen minutes," the driver told them, Sephiroth clearing his throat as he looked to Cloud. Cloud looked out the window, in no mood to start conversation.
"Why don't you like men?" Sephiroth asked, Cloud looking to Sephiroth with a raised eyebrow. It was a rather blunt question, but it was one Cloud did not plan on answering. In truth he had experimented before, but all his experiences had been terrible. He had always been a pitcher, and he never liked it all that much. He never had the gut to be a catcher, but he knew if this thing escaladed he would be a catcher before he realized his clothes were off.
"I never enjoyed it." Cloud sat back when Sephiroth leaned forward suddenly, the close proximity making him uncomfortable.
"He's going to make fun of you."
"Ever thought that maybe you were with the wrong men?" Sephiroth asked, Cloud frowning as he turned his head away.
"That's none of your business."
Cloud gasped when Sephiroth kissed his neck, the contact sending a shiver down his spine. Cloud pushed Sephiroth away but his hand was grabbed, soft lips touching his own. Cloud gasped when Sephiroth's hands tightened around his wrists before letting go, a hand slipping beneath his shirt. Cloud pushed Sephiroth away, his eyes widened in surprise as his body tingled in every place he touched.
"Did you enjoy that?" Cloud frowned in annoyance, pointing a finger at Sephiroth who merely smirked.
"Stop it. I told you none of that." Sephiroth raised his hands, feigning innocence. Cloud fixed his clothing, his body on fire from the touches. Cloud tried to ignore it as he fanned himself, the car suddenly too hot.
"He'll use you. Just like she did."
Cloud tried to block out the voice, not wanting to hear any more of it. He sat back and panted softly, closing his eyes as he tried to block out the voice. He opened his eyes when he felt lips on his own, his wrists grabbed before he could push Sephiroth away. Cloud tried to turn his head away but Sephiroth wouldn't let him, his struggles ceasing when a playful tongue entered his mouth.
Cloud told himself he didn't enjoy this molestation, but he knew he was lying to himself. Cloud took in a sharp breath through his nose when Sephiroth pulled him onto his lap, their lips locked. Cloud would have bit the tongue in his mouth but couldn't find the strength to, the intimate touches something he deprived himself of too long.
"He'll break you."
Cloud pulled away suddenly, pushing away from Sephiroth. Cloud panted as he sat in his seat, Sephiroth panting as well. They stared at each other for a long moment, Cloud putting a hand to his mouth as he looked away. He considered getting out and going back home, but suddenly the limo stopped.
"We're here."
Cloud got out quickly, breathing in the polluted air. The plate's air was fresher than the slums, but not by much. Cloud looked up to the sky, the rain seemed to have stopped for now.
"This way."
Cloud looked to Sephiroth, the taller man leading him over to a large building. Cloud reluctantly followed, sighing as he was led into a fancy restaurant. The place was packed with people who had nothing better to do that night, only a few couples there. Cloud followed Sephiroth inside, the man at the front not even asking for verification. They were led to a booth, the area tucked in a secluded corner.
Cloud cleared his throat, hoping what happened in the car wouldn't be repeated. He looked around to all of the people there, their clothing more formal than his own. He probably looked like a prostitute.
"You don't belong here."
Cloud sat down with Sephiroth, sitting on the opposite side of him. Sephiroth took off the hat and let his hair down, the usual straight strands lightly indented due to the rubber band.
"To start you off, what drinks would you like?" Cloud looked at the menu for alcohol, craving something heavy to deal with his sudden headache.
"I'd like a bramble cocktail. On the side a water." Sephiroth ordered an expensive wine, Cloud sitting back as he closed his eyes.
"Excuse me?" Cloud opened his eyes, looking to the woman that had come to Cloud's side. Cloud blinked, wondering what the hell the woman wanted.
"Do you work for Sephiroth? I've never seen you in the magazines." Cloud would have just ignored her, but after making eye contact he knew he couldn't.
"No." The girl's sweet smile faltered at the answer, her eyes looking from Sephiroth back to Cloud.
"Possible half brothers?"
"No."
The girl swallowed, taking a step back under Cloud's intense gaze. Cloud was hoping if he glared long enough she would leave, but she was determined to find out their relationship.
"Friend of the family?"
Cloud opened his mouth to respond, but Sephiroth cut through his voice.
"No, he's my boyfriend. Now leave." The girl turned red at the statement, slithering away. Everybody was looking at them now, Cloud feeling exposed with all the eyes on him. Just when he though he would have a social meltdown, a curtain was drawn.
Cloud looked to it, looking up. He hadn't even realized there had been a curtain to hide them. Cloud relaxed out of the eye of the people, sighing softly as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Do people usually stare at you like that?" Cloud asked softly, Sephiroth looking to his shorter companion. He had realized Cloud was uncomfortable, mainly because his nails had been digging into the table. Sephiroth was an expert at reading people, and if he wasn't mistaken, Cloud looked like he was on the verge of a meltdown.
How could the man he knew suffer from those?
"No, unless I actually speak." Cloud smirked at that, having thought that Sephiroth never talked before all of this. The man looked like a god in magazines. Cloud snorted softly, looking down to his lap.
"I made you laugh." Cloud looked up to Sephiroth, the silver haired man smiling softly at him. Cloud looked away, hoping the drinks would come quickly. His stomach was doing jumping jacks from the kiss in the car, and to say Cloud wasn't hot and bothered was an understatement.
But how could a mere boy do that?
Cloud looked up, looking at Sephiroth's features.
No. A man did that.
Cloud looked away, clearing his throat. The waitress came back with their drinks, Cloud sipping his own once he got it. Sephiroth grabbed his cup of wine, sipping it slowly as he looked to Cloud.
"Have you decided what you want to eat today?" Sephiroth shook his head, the waitress leaving for a while so they could find what they wanted to eat. Cloud looked at his menu, looking over the expensive things.
Well if Sephiroth was paying…
"Did you enjoy it?" Cloud looked over his menu to Sephiroth, the man looking directly at him. Cloud held his gaze for a long moment, taking in a deep breath before releasing it with a sigh.
"Shut up."
Sephiroth smirked broadly, Cloud hiding his blush behind his menu. When the waitress came back they ordered, Cloud ordering cheese stickers for a side and a sirloin with shrimp for the main course. Sephiroth planned to share the stickers but ordered a shrimp cocktail. Cloud loved seafood, but from the name of the restaurant he wasn't sure what they served.
"Do you work?" Sephiroth asked, Cloud sitting back as he sipped his drink slowly.
"I have two jobs. I work at Tifa's bar and I work for my landlord. I kill any monsters that come near." Sephiroth nodded, leaning forward and putting his arms on the table. Cloud watched him lazily, wondering what the hell he was thinking. Cloud knew he wasn't into men, and Sephiroth was making it very hard for Cloud to keep that sort of thinking. He didn't like it, especially since he didn't find the man attractive.
"You might already know I'm a model, but I'm also on stand by. If another war breaks out, I'll be sent off." Cloud had not known that, having thought Sephiroth had retired.
"What was the war like? I went to Wutai when it was happening but I was in the safe territories." Sephiroth smiled; glad he caught Cloud's attention with something. Sephiroth told him only the gruesome but funny moments of the war, and Cloud was engrossed by it. He never thought a war could have funny parts to it. Sephiroth told him how the older captains play games in the middle of the war sometimes, so used to the carnage it doesn't even affect them.
Sephiroth explained how he had been in a tank once and while they were being shot at, his general at the time was playing a racing game on his phone. Everybody else had been scared shitless.
Cloud laughed.
It had been so long since he laughed that when he did, it shocked him. He tried to stop laughing but he couldn't, the feeling so good he didn't want to. He put a hand over his mouth, trying to shush himself. His eyes were watery when the laughter finally stopped, Cloud looking to Sephiroth. The taller man had been surprised as well from the laugh, Cloud wiping his eyes before grabbing his drink.
"He thinks your disgusting."
"I've never heard you laugh like that before." Cloud looked back to Sephiroth, wondering why he even laughed. He felt shitty for having laughed at such a thing, since this was something Sephiroth had to live through. Just when Cloud's depression was about to consume him, Sephiroth leaned over the table. Cloud gasped when he was kissed, the kiss unexpected. Cloud melted despite his urge to protest, leaning into it slightly.
The curtain opened, a small gasp heard. Cloud pulled away, the waitress standing there. She had opened the curtain and everybody had seen them kiss, Cloud almost fainting. Without a word they were given their food and the curtain was closed. Sephiroth looked back to Cloud who had closed up again, the taller man sighing softly.
Over the course of the meal Sephiroth slowly tried to get Cloud to open up again, but it was hard. Just when Sephiroth thought Cloud would never open up to him again, Sephiroth asked Cloud about his bike. Cloud lit up like the sun. He rambled on and on about how he made it himself, how the engine worked and how fast it went. Cloud talked nonstop about the adventures he went on with that bike, and by the end of the meal he was more open than before.
A couple drinks had come and gone and Cloud was gleefully buzzed, Sephiroth chuckling as they went back to the limo and Cloud stumbled inside. Besides the nosey ass people, their first date had went well. Cloud actually had fun, something he hadn't had in a long while. He had laughed as well, something he couldn't wait to tell Tifa.
She would be so proud of him.
"Perhaps you had too much to drink," Sephiroth inquired, Cloud shrugging as he looked for a seatbelt only to realize there were none. Cloud sat back, looking out the window to the sky. He sighed softly, pleasantly buzzed from the alcohol.
"How old are you anyway? You don't retain alcohol well for a man who works at a bar," Sephiroth inquired, Cloud shrugging as he thought about it.
"I'm twenty six, so five years older than you. I was always a shitty drinker, but my fiancé never cared."
Cloud's entire mood halted.
"Remember who she was with?"
"She could never love you, and neither can he."
Sephiroth noticed the sudden shift, his eyelids lowering slightly. Cloud gasped when he was suddenly pulled into Sephiroth's lap, his lips suddenly devoured into a kiss. Cloud tried to pull away but arms held him still, Cloud moving his arms before pushing away just enough he could speak.
"Put me down!" Cloud growled, Sephiroth smirking as he pulled him back down. Cloud gasped when he was pushed down onto the seat, his wrists trapped against the leather. He panted as he was given some breathing time, Sephiroth looking down to him.
"You don't have to tell me about your past if it hurts you." Cloud frowned slightly at those words, looking away from Sephiroth.
"Stop kissing me," Cloud ordered, Sephiroth resting his body over Cloud's.
"How about here?"
Cloud gasped when Sephiroth kissed his neck, trying to get his wrists free to escape the sudden onslaught of affection. Cloud arched when Sephiroth bit his neck, the sudden pain something he didn't expect. Sephiroth pulled away slowly, a smile on his lips.
"Still sad?" Cloud panted heavily beneath him, his body betraying him. Cloud prayed Sephiroth wouldn't notice, his prayers going unanswered. Sephiroth moved to get more comfortable, his eyes widening at the sudden feeling against his stomach. Cloud blushed madly, turning his head away as he tried not to cry out of pure embarrassment.
"I'm not sad, so please get off me."
Sephiroth was speechless.
He hadn't expected Cloud to get aroused from the small amount of play, but against his stomach was firm proof that he had enjoyed it. Sephiroth felt like he had crossed a border with this, but even so he wanted to explore further. From how Cloud acted earlier in the restaurant and when he brought up his fiancé, it was obvious he was suffering from some sort of depression. Sephiroth knew when he touched Cloud it helped him forget about it, if only for a few seconds. Because of his depression, when was the last time Cloud had been touched like this?
Sephiroth moved his hips, Cloud taking in a sharp breath that almost sounded like a moan. Sephiroth's entire face felt hot at the sound, his own body reacting to it.
This was dangerous.
"Please?" Cloud pleaded softly, Sephiroth looking at the blondes face. The blonde was probably mortified from being so exposed on only the first date, not that Sephiroth really cared. He knew he was doing too much, but if he went slow Cloud would find ways to avoid him. Until he broke down Cloud's wall, he wasn't going to change his tactics.
But how long would this last before it was pushed too far?
Sephiroth swallowed thickly, rising up slowly. Cloud went to move but Sephiroth stopped him, their eyes meeting. Sephiroth saw the embarrassment in Cloud's eyes, and he wanted to erase it. There was no need for this angel to be embarrassed over something he enjoyed.
Sephiroth reached a hand down, Cloud nearly jumping out of his skin when Sephiroth touched his tented arousal. Cloud's face erupted with a blush, his hand grabbing Sephiroth's wrist.
"What are you doing?" Cloud asked sharply, Sephiroth leaning down and kissing Cloud's lips. Cloud tried to stop him, his embarrassment only increasing tenfold. Sephiroth didn't venture into Cloud's pants even though he wanted to, his hand rubbing the burning arousal. His hand slipped up his shirt, Cloud arching against his hand when he brushed against a nipple. Cloud pulled away from the kiss to protest but the words were replaced with a moan, Sephiroth's eyes widening when he heard it.
What was he doing?!
He was molesting his date, a man he hardly even knew. Sephiroth stopped, trying to clear his head. He had become overwhelmed with his own feelings that he forgot what boundaries should be placed. Cloud was lying on the seat, his eyes lidded as his obvious arousal tried to pour through his jeans. His shirt had been pushed up and his hair a mess, and Sephiroth had to look away before he was tempted again.
"I'm sorry," Sephiroth whispered, Cloud closing his eyes before turning his head away. Cloud sat up slowly, his eyes shifting to Sephiroth who seemed just as hot and bothered as he was at the moment. Cloud had almost came before Sephiroth stopped, and to say he didn't want Sephiroth to touch him anymore would be a lie. Cloud swallowed thickly, wondering how an innocent date escalated into a near fuck fest. Cloud put his arm in front of his arousal, trying to will away his erection. His face burned.
It wouldn't go away!
The ride home was silent as the tension built to the point it was thick enough to cut with a knife. Cloud got out as soon as he got home, rushing straight to the bathroom. He ignored Tifa's outburst and slammed the door closed, his clothes torn off as he jumped into the shower. He panted as he placed his head against the wall, his body spasming as he finished himself off mere moments later.
If he wasn't attracted to men, then why did he get aroused?
Why was he getting off from the memory?
Why was he letting this happen?
"You're disgusting."
