A/N: The day of searching for cake through L's perspective, plus, his thoughts about others. Except it's like a diary entry, so it's vague. This also contains a whole lot of silliness and bullying from L, a side which he mostly keeps secret from others; no offense intended towards the audience. Somewhat of a companion piece to That's What You Get.
Summary: A compilation of short stories recounting the events of some Death Note characters and the utter nonsense and wild mischief they create during their spare time. Warning: Serious OOC-ness. Crack.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. All credit rightfully belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.
Don't Try This At Home, Kids
Story Three: Expect the Unexpected
13 July 2004
/ 6:58 A.M.
Hello, this is L Lawliet again. It's been a while.
I haven't typed anything in this computer diary folder for years. Looking at the latest entry, I'm surprised that the years have passed so quickly. Actually, that's a lie. The years have passed dreadfully slow and I wish they went by faster. Anyway, where was I?
A few months ago, I had taken on the Kira case which consists of mass murder to the extreme. And now…I still haven't solved the case even with the help of the Japanese police and other bureaus around the globe. So perhaps this is the hardest puzzle I've ever come across, even harder than Beyond's case.
Should I die, which is highly likely if I am not very careful, I can count on my successor to solve the case, though I know it is a heavy burden. Notice that I said "successor" rather than successors; this is because I plan to appoint either Near or Mello as my successor. I have, however, already made up my mind, but I won't speak of who I have chosen due to the possibility of Matt or another individual hacking into my computer and reading this. Unlikely, but still.
There are, however, two prime suspects of the Kira case. One of them is Light Yagami, a college student and only son of Soichiro Yagami, the NPA chief. The other is a dim-witted model/ singer/ actress by the name of Misa Amane. I'm certain that they are truly Kira and the second Kira, but it is surprisingly difficult to dig up evidence to support my theories.
The interesting thing is that Yagami-kun and I are handcuffed. I know it's a strange thing to comment about one's own actions, but it'll give me a chance to observe his behaviour closely. For example, right now I am typing while looking at him. I think he's asleep…and I'm surprised he's not snoring. That's quite unusual. Well, it doesn't matter; that's just another thing I can add on the list of reasons why he is Kira.
Ah, that reminds me!
Yesterday, Yagami-kun and I went for a stroll. At least, that was the initial idea, but cakes were too good of a thought to resist!
I remember that I was craving some mud cake, but there were none in the display of the first cake stall we entered, so I asked the man at the register. He shrugged carelessly as if my question was not worthy enough of receiving an answer. And then he had the nerve to say they were sold out. I decided that the imbecile deserved to be punched. So naturally, I delivered and then wandered off to another cake stall (which, by the way, was a lot nicer).
It was quite a pleasant time for me, to search for delectable cakes in the midst of a heavy case. But that was until Yagami-kun started nagging and whining. I desperately wanted to tell him to shove himself off a cliff so he wouldn't be such a pest, but I saved that rebuke for another time and instead, politely told him to shut up.
After hours and a mountain of Yagami-kun's complaints, we were finally at the hotel. I deduced that he was still sore over the amount of time we spent searching for cakes, because he started acting irrationally and…speared the cake. I had never seen something so preposterous in my life, so I took it upon myself to explain to the idiot that cake was meant to be eaten meaningfully and that one should cherish the flavour and love that was poured into them by the kind souls who spent their time molding the piece of dough to perfection.
Unexpectedly, he didn't give me a word of praise of admiration but a look that was akin to disgust. Well I sure taught him a lesson. L was the superior, and L would always be the victor of whatever it was.
Hm…I have yet to give my thoughts about the Kira suspects, have I? I think I shall start.
Light Yagami is a seventeen – or is he eighteen? – year old who attends To-Oh University. He is a straight A student who has for some reason, an urge to kill thousands for the sake of a better world. Or that's just what I have concluded. I have also decided that his hair is a completely whole other universe. It reminds me of how the people of ancient China use to put bowls over their heads and cut their hair around the rim. Yes, I dislike Light Yagami's hair, therefore I dislike him. Hahaha, just kidding. Not.
Every time I look at Yagami-kun, I see a murderer with a brilliant mind…and then I see a side of him that screams "OCD!" And then I think of how OCD Yagami-kun could really be when he's by himself (Ha! He might think that if he reveals his OCD urges to others, he'll scare them all away!) He probably follows an eating and…possibly an excreting regime. I know it's disgusting me of to think of that, but don't you think it's at least a tad plausible? No? Alright, fine.
The second Kira suspect goes by Misa Amane who, as stated earlier, is a model/ singer/ actress. I suspect that she is the more powerful, if one could use that term, of the two Kiras, albeit she obviously lacks an abundant of brain cells.
I recall a time when I told her that I could fall for her. And she believed me, even though it was a blatant lie (in my opinion). Very often, she spends time scheming of (lovesick and futile) ways to seduce that silly beansprout of a childish murderer by the name of Light Imagay, that her brain ceases to concentrate on anything else. It's no wonder she isn't any more intelligent than a farm turkey – which is pitiful.
I think I hear footsteps…which is my cue to exit this diary – please stop laughing – of mine. It's been enjoyable to type in here again after so long, but I must return to the case. "Duty calls," one could say.
I am very determined to catch and expose Kira and the second Kira, and then put them behind bars. Yagami-kun is very bright, so it would be a shame to lose him…Misa on the other hand…I swear she makes it her personal mission to make everyone around her dumber with her lack of intellect. So, good riddance to her!
Signing off,
L.
