CHAPTER 3
Much to her surprise, Kathryn enjoyed further dreamless nights after her late-night talk with Chakotay. Unfortunately, her days were still plagued with guilt and anxiety. The stress of 'the void' continued to take its toll and she still couldn't shake the feeling that her nightmares had been a premonition.
Three days later, when they intercepted the Malon vessel, new priorities would start to occupy her attention. Two years of darkness saved and a whole new group of star systems to explore elated the crew. But escaping the dark was not without its price, at least, not for her. Another divot, another chink in the armor of trust was the cost this time.
Kathryn couldn't help but feel that she had been more than slightly betrayed by his little mutiny. She had been willing, all too willing perhaps, to sacrifice herself. In retrospect it was probably short-sighted. Why was she so eager to make the ultimate trade? To make up for time that she owed them all and a to save a poisoned alien race; a cheap fix to assuage her guilt? It didn't matter. He had ripped that option away from her. And as a result she skirted around him, spent long hours in her ready room, cancelled a dinner. Or was it two?
It wasn't like her to be petty and she certainly wasn't one to stifle her opinions, especially where her ability to command was called into question. But for some reason she couldn't quite place she didn't want to let him know just how much his subterfuge had hurt. Could it be that she had been so open and forthcoming about her innermost thoughts but by the light of day he couldn't see to have been honest with her?
At the moment, she sat, sipping coffee at her desk. She had been thumbing through reports, though not really taking in a terrible amount of information from them, when the door chimed.
"Come."
Chakotay walked into the ready room and stood silently while she finished reading. Or, at least that's what she pretended to be doing. She wanted him to have to wait. Finally, she looked up.
"Commander?"
"Alpha shift ended ten minutes ago," he said. "Care to join me for dinner?"
She looked up at him. "Dinner? It's only 1600 hours."
Chakotay gave her a sly smile. "Well, you don't seem to be hungry at 1900 anymore, I thought maybe I'd see if early was more to your liking."
"I have to finish reading these reports," she replied, massaging her brow.
"1700 then?" He suggested. But she didn't look up. "1800?"
She could feel annoyance beginning to build inside of her but she tempered it for the cause. "Another day perhaps."
A flash of disappointment fell on his face but he wasn't going to give up easily. "Breakfast tomorrow then, and I'm not taking no for an answer."
Breakfast. She could manage breakfast if it got him off of her back for just a little while longer. She sighed and nodded. "Bring coffee."
He smiled, new hope on his face, and left her to read.
But she wasn't really reading, was she?
