A/N: There is some Masturbation in this chapter, just a warning. Also, Yinghua means cherry blossom in Mandarin Chinese. It's actually the name of one of my betta babies :3 hehe. Hope you are enjoying this fanfiction... I mean, if anyone really even reads Naruto fanfictions anymore :( Please comment and let me know how I am doing. The more comments, the more likely I am to upload! THXXXXXXXX

Love and Hugs

~Daenyer


Naruto laid back on the hospital bed. He had been following the cracks on the ceiling with his eyes in boredom, wondering what he was even doing anymore. There was no reason for him to be in the hospital anymore, and he was forced to lay in the most uncomfortable fashion. Sakura had discovered that he had continued to bite himself and had tied his arms down in a crucifix style. He couldn't even scratch the persistent itch he had on his cheek from where some of his tears had died, or read a book, or change the music on the radio. He could only sit and wonder about how his future would progress now that Sakura and Granny Tsunade knew about his problems.

"I just wanted to protect you guys…" He moaned pitifully.

Sakura walked in with his breakfast and lifted his head up so that he could eat the rice she was offering him.

"I can feed myself." He protested. Sakura shook her head.

"I'm not going to untie you. Suck it up."

He remembered a time when he would have been thrilled that Sakura was feeding him. But now, he just felt an emptiness. He didn't really care.

When she was finished feeding him, Sakura tried to sit by his bed and make conversation.

"You're getting released tomorrow." She spoke to break the silence. Naruto didn't answer, just continued to stare at the ceiling where a moth was fluttering around.

"Lady Tsunade doesn't want you to be home alone anymore, so she wants Sai to stay with you for a little while. Is that alright?"

Naruto didn't answer right away, but when he did he was very bitter.

"It doesn't matter if it's alright with me, does it? It seems it has already been decided. Don't act like I have any choice in the matter." He spat out. Sakura sighed in annoyance.

"You know, we are just trying to help you. You could be grateful."

"You weren't helping me while there was still a chance to save me. It's too little too late now."

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"It's disgusting how pitiful you are, Naruto. What happened to the little boy who wanted so desperately to become Hokage? Who would never give up and always wanted to help people?"

"He grew up and realized that the real world wasn't so kind as to foster that kind of ignorant blissful existence. The real world doesn't give a damn about your dreams or feelings, except to crush them any chance it gets. That's what that little boy came to realize." He replied quietly.

"That's not true, Naruto. You proved to many people that you can do whatever you truly set your mind to. Don't give up, just hold on."

"Maybe it works for other people. But it has never worked for me." Sakura huffed in frustration.

"This is pointless. Just wallow in self-pity if that's what you want. I'm leaving."

"Thank god, She finally caught on to the fact that I don't want her here. Such a Genius." Naruto commented. Sakura turned around and slapped him in the face, causing his head to flop to the side.

"I don't know what the hell happened to you, but I don't like this new Naruto. If this is how you choose to be, then I don't think we can be friends anymore. I'm done, Uzamaki." She cried as she ran out of the room. His cheek was smarting because of the slap, and he turned his head to look at the ceiling once more. The moth was struggling to escape a spider web, which sticky, almost invisible threads pulled at the wings until it was unable to do more than twitch. Naruto sighed, and began to hum a song…

"All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right. I'm tripping on words. I don't know where to go from here…" He sang softly. Sakura heard him from outside the door, where she was sitting and crying into her kneecaps.

"Naruto, you're an idiot…" she sighed and got up to go home.


Naruto set up a small pad on the floor for Sai to sleep on.

"Sorry, but that's the best I can do." He sighed. Sai smiled one of those annoying false smiles and tilted his head to the side.

"This is perfect! Thanks Naru." He replied. Naruto sighed. Sai had finally come up with a nickname for him and Naruto wasn't sure how much he liked it. The only person who had called him Naru before was Sasuke.

"Are you hungry? I have some instant ramen in the drawer in the kitchen. " Naruto offered. Sai shook his head.

"I'm fine. Thanks Naru." Naruto shook his head and sighed.

"Let me know if you need anything." He finished before going to get in the shower. He grabbed a pair of boxers and a fluffy white towel with the Uzumaki clan symbol on it. He looked towards Sai, who was drawing something in a notebook. Naruto had hung up the paining Sai had given him on the wall over his kitchen table, much to Sai's delight.

Naruto closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower. He loved for his water to be so hot it burned, but it took a minute for it to get that hot. He looked at himself in his bathroom mirror while the water heated up. He wasn't a bad looking kid. He had clear blue eyes, spiky blond hair, tan skin, and a fit body. He usually had a good personality. He was caring and loving. Why then was he so despised? It's not like he even resembled a fox, except for the whiskery birthmarks he had on his cheeks.

He stared at himself for a minute until the steam clouded the bathroom and it became hard to breathe. He opened the window and got into the burning shower spray. He let the hot water flow down his nude body. It hurt at first, but he quickly became numb to the heat and began to massage shampoo onto his head. The steam felt like it was opening up every pore in his body. Little things like this would put him in a good mood for a little while. It helped add reprieve to the grayscale the world had become for himself.

Naruto washed the shampoo out of his hair and grabbed his scrunchy sponge he used to wash his body. It was supposed to resemble a duck, but it's head was coming off. Naruto applied a generous amount of soap to it and squished it into a lather. He then began to massage his body with it until he not only felt clean but also relaxed. He let the heat flow down his body for another few minutes. He began to think about Sasuke, about the time that they had had to take a shower together when their hands had been stuck together that one time. Naruto sighed, noticing that his cock had begun to rise with the thought of Sasuke's nude body. Naruto grabbed it in one hand and used the other hand to push against the wall for support. He began to furiously run his hand up and down the length of the shaft. It only took him a minute or two until he released, spraying the shower wall with his seed.

It didn't make him feel any better to do this. After he was done, he actually felt worse about having pleasured himself to the thought of Sasuke when he didn't even know how Sasuke was feeling about him. Naruto cleaned up the shower and wrapped himself in a towel. He brushed his teeth and towel dried his hair. He put on his boxers and stepped out of the shower, releasing heat and steam into the rest of the apartment. Sai smiled at him.

"Hope you had a nice shower." He commented. Naruto looked a little guilty. There was something about Sai's facial expressions that made you think that he knew more than he let on. He sure hoped that Sai didn't know what he did in the shower, but shrugged it off and decided to play cool.

"Yeah, it was fine." He replied nonchalantly. Sai continued to draw and Naruto went out on the back porch. It was a nice sunny day. It would be a great day to train, but Naruto wasn't really feeling up to it.

He layed down on the porch and stared up at the sky, watching the clouds go by in a very Shikamaru-esque style. It was nice to just not think about the way things were. Naruto wondered if that is why Shikamaru participated in this activity so often. He lifted his arm up and looked at the already healed scars from where he had bitten himself so many times before. They were disappearing rapidly, and in a few days one would never know about the self mutilation that he had participated in. Naruto put his arm down, and heard Sai shuffle around inside the house to get into a position to better keep an eye on Naruto. Naruto closed his eyes and allowed the sunlight to beat down on him in full force. It wasn't long until he fell asleep in the warm embrace. He awoke when Sai came to get him.

"If you stay out here much longer, you'll burn." He warned. Naruto pouted,

"I don't care." But he came inside anyway. He got himself a glass of water and made up some cup ramen.

"Do you want any Ramen?" He offered again to Sai. Sai politely declined and resumed his scribbling away. Naruto took his ramen and got into his bed to eat it.

As he ate he watched his Betta fish swim around in its bowl. He had won it at a fair that Ero-Sennin had taken him to right after he had gotten back from training. He had called it Yinghua, for its pinky orange color. He put a few flakes of food into the bowl and Yinghua happily swam to the top of the bowl to eat.

"You're lucky. You don't have to worry about anything. I wish you and I could switch places." Naruto thought inside his head. Yinghua swam to the front of the glass and flared his fins before swimming around the bowl again.

Naruto cracked a smile. At least it was peaceful to watch the little creature enjoying its life.