Happy New Year!
Chapter 3
The next morning I lay in bed, alone, staring up at the ceiling. I hadn't done much sleeping the night before…and I could still feel the cocaine high coursing through my body. I wasn't entirely sure if Edward had used last night or not; I couldn't remember, but I did know that I felt amazing. Last night before I had gotten home had been awful…I could remember how horrible I had felt talking to…Jacob.
What was it about him that enticed me so much? Not even I knew what it was about him. I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander back to him. What the fuck was it about him?
Yeah, he was hot. I couldn't deny that, but looking past his looks, what was it? I was attracted to a guy that I didn't even know. I had literally just met him, and I wanted to see him again.
I got out of bed, and pulled on some clothes. I was wearing jeans and a long sleeved black shirt, and I put a dark purple scarf around my neck. I pulled my leather jacket on overtop of it. I went out the living room/kitchen area to see it empty. On the kitchen table was a note.
Bella, I had to go sort some things out at the club, I'll be back late tonight. You aren't working tonight.
Perfect. Edward was going to be gone all day. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note for him, just in case he decided to come home early.
Edward, Mike and I are meeting for lunch today and we're going to do a bit of shopping later on. I don't know when I'll be back, but it'll probably be before you get home.
I got my shoes on, grabbed my keys, and left the apartment. The police station wasn't too far from my apartment. I had walked past it numerous times before; it was a common site, and the only police station near us. This had to be where Jacob worked. I went into the station, and was greeted with cat calls, I couldn't see who they had come from, and I didn't look too closely to find out. I took a deep breath and went to the front desk area where a secretary was sitting. Her nametag said Emily on it.
"Hi, is Jacob here?" I asked.
"Just a second." She said.
She got up from the desk, and went into a room behind her. A few minutes later, she and Jacob came out. He looked at me, and confusion flitted across his face.
"Can I talk to you?" I asked.
He nodded. "Sure. My office?"
I nodded, and he led me to the room that he and Emily had come from. It was a small office, just a desk, with two chairs on one side and one comfy looking chair on the other side. He closed the door behind us, and sat on the side of the desk with the comfy looking chair.
"You can sit." He said, motioning to the other chairs.
"No, I can't really stay long." I said, tugging on a piece of my hair. "I just…I wanted to apologize for last night. I was a pretty big bitch to you and I was really rude. I'm sorry."
"Are you feeling better?" he asked. "You told me that you weren't feeling too good, are you better now?"
"Much better now." I said. "Thanks for asking."
"No problem…your boyfriend didn't give you any troubles?"
"No." I said hearing the anger in my own voice. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I didn't want to snap at him. That wasn't what I had come here for.
"I just want to know that you're okay." He said with a shrug.
"Why?" I couldn't help but ask, more out of curiosity than anger.
"I honestly don't know." He said. "There's just…there's something about you that intrigues me."
I didn't say anything. I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to let him in. I didn't want to let him know that I was intrigued by him as well. I wanted to remain guarded. I didn't want him to know anything about me. It was as if he already knew too much, and he really didn't know much at all.
"Listen," he said. "I feel like we got off on the wrong start. Can I buy you a coffee or something? I've obviously done something to piss you off. I want to make it up to you."
"I really don't think that would be appropriate." I said. "You don't need to do anything for me. I came here to apologize to you, not for you to try and make anything up to me. Don't worry."
"I want to." He said. "Are you afraid of your boyfriend seeing?"
Suddenly I felt ashamed. I didn't want Jacob to think of me as a coward.
"No. I'm not afraid." I said.
He cocked an eyebrow, and smiled cockily. "So prove it."
Obviously this was a game for him, but I didn't want to lose. Why did I so strongly feel that I had to prove to him that I wasn't afraid, and that I was perfectly capable of going to have coffee with him?
"Fine." I said. "Let's go, then."
He pulled on his jacket, and led me out the door of his office.
"Em, I'm going out for a bit. Is that okay?"
"It's a slow day, Jake." She said. "And you know you don't have to ask permission to leave."
"I feel like I have to." He said with a shrug before leading me out of the police station.
"Are there any coffee shops near here?" I asked.
"There's one within walking distance." He said.
"Listen, you know you don't have to do this, right?" I asked. "There are no hard feelings between us."
"I want to." He said.
I sighed. I didn't want Edward to see us, but I also didn't want to say no to Jacob…for various reasons. One, I didn't want him to get suspicious about me…about what I did in my spare time…I was super paranoid about that. And, secondly, I actually wanted to go for coffee with Jacob. I had no idea why, but I just wanted to. It was wrong, and I felt like I was cheating on Edward, but I still wanted to.
As we walked down the street, we were quiet. Neither of us seemed to know what to say.
"So, are you originally from New York?" he asked, seeming to be content in finally finding something to say.
I shook my head. "I'm originally from this small town in Washington called Forks. I was born there, but ended up going to Phoenix with my mom when my parents divorced. Then when I was seventeen I moved back to Forks with my dad. Now I'm here."
Why the fuck had I just told him all that? I mentally slapped myself. I hadn't wanted to let him know anything about me, and I had just told him a key part of my life? Great.
"You're a small town girl?" he asked incredulously.
"Is it really that hard to believe?" I asked, smile creeping onto my face.
He chuckled. "I just wouldn't peg you as a small town girl."
"What about you?" I asked. "From New York?"
"Born and raised." He said. "Been here my whole life. Don't think I'll ever leave."
I nodded. I guess I could see where he was coming from. I had lived in Phoenix for most of my life. It had been hard to leave and move to Forks with my dad. We came to a small coffee shop and he opened the door for me, allowing me to go in before him. We ordered our coffees and sat at a small table.
"So, why'd you move to Forks?" he asked.
"My mom's new husband was a minor league baseball player, and they were going to have to start moving around the country, and I didn't want to go with them, so I decided to move in with my dad."
"And why'd you come here?" he asked. I gave him a look. "I'm sorry, I'm just curious."
"You're going to laugh at me." I warned.
"I promise I won't."
"Well… I guess I just sort-of saw New York City as this magical place. It just seemed so out-of-this-world…it had always been my dream to move to a big city." I shrugged. "I just ended up here."
"How'd you end up at your job?" he asked. "If you had moved to New York specifically to become a stripper, I'm sure you would've mentioned that."
"Well, I had wanted to just be able to live on my own and support myself, but I ended up with a really shitty job. Then I met Edward and he offered me my current job, and I took it." I explained. "Why did you become a police officer?"
"It's kind-of a sad story." He said, taking a deep breath.
"I'm sure I can handle it." I said.
"When I was a kid, my mom was killed. She was walking home one night and she got shot. They never found out who killed her, ever since her death my dad had always promised to find out who shot her." He took another deep breath. "When I was sixteen he wound up in the hospital because of a heart attack, and ended up having cancer. A few months later he died. Since he couldn't find out who killed my mom…I guess I put it on myself to find out…and becoming a cop would help me do that. And also, I can help other families who have been torn apart get some type of closure."
"Wow." I said, completely unsure of what to say to him. "I'm really sorry."
He waved it off. "It's all in the past."
"And you've never found out who shot your mom?" I asked.
"Nope." He said. "I don't think I ever will."
"Well I wouldn't give up." I said. "There's always hope."
He shrugged. "I guess. But I don't think I'll be able to find who did it. They're probably in another country, dead, or in jail."
I didn't know what to say. Obviously this still affected him deeply; I could see it in his face. He didn't want to have it affect him so much, but it still did, and to be honest it was completely understandable. If I were in his shoes, I would be doing the same thing, trying to find out who had killed my mother.
I sipped my coffee quietly. I was unsure of what to say to Jacob. What would one say to that?
"I should probably get going soon." I said quietly. "Thank you for the coffee."
"I really like you." He said, seeming to ignore what I had just said. "I know how childish and immature that sounds, but I'm attracted to you. I know that you have a boyfriend, but I can see that there's a tiny part of you that's attracted to me. Otherwise you wouldn't have come today. You wouldn't have shown up at the station and you wouldn't have come with me here."
I didn't say anything; he was right.
"See? You know I'm right." He said triumphantly.
I took a deep breath. "But what does it matter?" I stood up. "I should go."
He stood up too. "I'll walk you home."
"You really don't have to." I said.
"But I want to." He said.
"Fine." I said, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get out of it. He was just as stubborn as I was and he'd probably just follow me home anyway to make sure I got there okay. I walked out of the coffee shop, with Jacob trailing behind me. I could hear him laughing behind me.
"What's so funny?" I asked, stopping on the sidewalk and turning to look at him.
"Nothing." He said. "I was just thinking about how I won."
"How you won?" I repeated.
"Yup." He said, grinning cockily. "I got you to let me walk you home."
I gritted my teeth. I didn't have a comeback because I knew he was right. I began walking again, and he walked beside me. I pulled my pack of cigarettes out of my coat pocket, and offered him one, he declined, and so I pulled one out and lit it, taking a long drag from it.
"That's a bad habit." He said.
"I really don't care, to be honest." I said with a shrug.
I heard him sigh, but he didn't press the issue any more.
"You really didn't have to do this." I said, once we reached the apartment and I was done my cigarette. "I'm perfectly capable of walking myself home."
"But bad things happen on these streets." He said, grinning. "Don't want a beautiful woman like you getting hurt."
"Bad things also happen in the club I work in." I said.
"So quit." He said immediately.
I hesitated. What the hell could I say to that?
"I don't want to." I said.
He laughed. "I'm sure you don't."
"I'll see you later." I said, turning to go into the building.
"Wait!" he said, grasping my arm, and pulling me back. "Look, I'm sorry if I offended you. I really didn't mean to."
"You didn't." I said. "Can I go home now?"
I looked up at his face, not being able to resist noticing how handsome he really was. His tanned skin, jet black hair, dark brown eyes…I tore my gaze away from his face, feeling how badly I wanted him. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again…more than anything I wanted to kiss him again.
But I couldn't. I couldn't allow that to happen.
"Bella." He said softly, gently turning my face back to his. I found myself leaning into him…I tilted my head up towards his, and he leaned down, asking with his eyes if it was okay. I leaned even further against him, and reached up as far as I could before our lips connected. It was so much more than when I kissed Edward. I could feel Jacob's passion for me, and I never wanted it to end. My heart was pounding as our mouths and tongues moved together. I wanted Jacob. I wanted him so badly. I needed him.
My hands went up to his hair, and I ran my fingers through the short, soft locks. His hands were lingering on my hips. I never wanted this to end, but I knew the inevitable would happen sooner rather than later.
I broke apart from him, and we were both breathing heavily.
"I should um…probably go…um upstairs." I said quietly, looking away.
I glanced up at his face, seeing anger flash through his eyes, but it was just for a second.
He took his hands away from my body, and I stepped back.
I turned to go into my building, but turned to look at him again.
"That…that can't happen again." I said.
He walked up to me. "Don't hide your feelings because you're afraid of what he'll do."
"I'm not afraid of what he'll do." I said sincerely. "I love him."
"Come on Bella, please can you give me a chance?" he practically begged. "I can see how much you want it."
"I…I'll think about it." I said, abruptly turning and going into my apartment.
