Next chapter! Once again, please keep the reviews coming! I love them! :)
Tori's POV
Saturday, July 7
I woke up with the worst headache in the history of the world. It was so bad that I couldn't even bring myself to open my eyes. I squeezed my eyes tighter for a moment, trying to collect myself, and then I finally opened my eyes. I looked around a little. I had no idea where the heck I was. I had so many questions swimming around in my head.
"Tori?"
I heard an unfamiliar voice call out a random name. I turned just to see who it was. Some really sweet looking lady was sitting at my bedside and she was looking down at me. I guess it was her voice I'd heard.
She smiled. "Hi there, Tori," Hmm…I guess I was Tori. She leaned her hand down and rubbed the left side of my head gently. "How do you feel, baby?"
I looked at her confused for a second, but then I answered. "Um…tired," I touched the right side of my head and I could feel some kind of bandage around it. "And my head hurts so badly. My brain is like…pounding against my skull."
"Oh, I know your head hurts." How would she know that? "It might hurt for a while, but trust me…you're gonna be okay."
"Uh huh," I said, still confused. "Why does it hurt?"
"You were in a car accident." she told me and my eyes widened. She softly smiled. "I guess you don't remember, huh?"
I slowly shook my head. "No,"
"Well, can you tell me the last thing you remember?"
I really and honestly tried to think of the last thing I remembered. My mind was drawing a blank. I couldn't come up with anything. I didn't know what was going on. "I…I don't know." I said slowly.
"You don't know what you remember?" she asked with some confusion. "How could you…" Then suddenly, the look in her eyes changed. She stared at me with a sad expression. I could literally see the tears well up in her eyes. I felt bad that I was the one making them appear. Then she gulped and said, "Tori, sweetie…please tell me you know who I am."
I blinked a few times and said, "I'm sorry, but…how could I know who you are if I don't even know who I am?"
"Oh, my God," she said and then a tear slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away and then sniffed a little. She put her hand over her mouth and just stared at me while more tears rolled down her cheeks.
I didn't know who this lady was, but I still felt awful for making her cry. Seeing her cry made me want to cry. My own eyes filled up with tears. "I'm sorry; I don't mean to make you cry."
She took her hand off her mouth and wiped both of her eyes and her cheeks. "Oh, no, sweetie, it's not you," She sighed shakily. "I'm just trying to process all of this." She reached down and caressed my cheek. "I'm your mother, so I just worry about you."
I raised my eyebrows. "You're my mom?"
She nodded. "Yeah, but um…" She stood up. "Could you just stay here for a moment? I'm gonna…well I…I'll be right back."
I nodded as she walked out the door. Then I got out of bed, but when I felt a tug on my wrist, I looked back and noticed that it was from my IV. I sighed and grabbed the pole and slowly walked closer to the door, so I could hear what was going on. I looked down and saw that I was wearing an uncomfortable hospital gown. I hoped I would get to change soon.
The lady who said was my mom was talking to some guy and she sounded upset. "What's wrong with her?" she exclaimed. "I mean, she has no idea who I am or even who she is! She is so out of it!"
"I was actually just about to come talk to you about that." said the man. "We got the test results from the scan yesterday and the blow to her head affected her temporal lobe, which is what houses the memory." No wonder I had no idea who I was or who anyone else was. In that split second, I tried to see if I could think of someone that I knew, but my brain couldn't come up with anything. I was clueless.
My mom let out a sob. "Oh, my God," She tried to say something else, but she was too hysterical. It took her a few moments to finally collect herself. "Does this mean she'll always be this clueless?"
"Well…not necessarily," he said. "But…she has a fifty/fifty chance. A chance that she'll stay like that forever or a chance that it'll go away and she'll go back to normal and forget that any of this ever happened."
"What's the worst that could happen?"
"That she won't get her memory back," he answered. "But the injury only affected her long-term memory, not her short-term memory, which means she will be able to retain new information. So if, worst case scenario, her memory never comes back, she'll be able to retain new information and make a new life for herself."
"But…but it wouldn't be the same," said my mom. I could tell by her voice that she was crying. "She would have no collection of her childhood memories and those are some of the most precious memories that a person has." I felt awful for causing my mother all this pain. I never meant to cause this. I was trying so incredibly hard to remember stuff from when I was younger, but I couldn't. I couldn't remember when I was little.
I was drawing a blank on everything.
"I know it's hard." he said. "And it's okay to be upset. It's understandable. But right now, you need to try and be strong for her. She may feel like this is her fault, when it isn't. There's no way she could have stopped this." Those words made me feel a little better, but not completely.
"How am I supposed to act around her?" asked my mom. "My baby girl has no idea who I am, her own mother." And those words made my eyes well up in tears and one slid down my cheek.
"Right now, the best thing you can do is treat her as normally as possible, even though, yes…I know that maybe very difficult." he told her. "When we release her in a few days, take her home, and surround her with things that are familiar. Have her talk with family and friends. Have them share stories with her. Anything that's comforting and familiar is helpful."
"Alright," said my mom and sighed heavily. "Thank you,"
"You're welcome,"
"Did you wanna talk to her?"
"Actually, yes, I would…"
I suddenly turned around and jogged back to the bed. I put my IV pole back where it had been and I got back in my bed. Just as I pulled the covers up to my waist, the door opened. My mom and the other guy walked in. It looked like a doctor. My mom said, "Hi Tori,"
I smiled at her, but didn't say anything.
"How do you feel?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. Confused," It was uncomfortable having to sit up when my bed wanted me to lay back down. "Um…is there any way one of you guys could make my bed to where it sits up? I'm kind of uncomfortable like this."
"Of course; I'll adjust that for you." said the doctor. He walked up to me and bent down and pressed a button and then my bed rose up. When it was at where I liked it, I leaned back. He looked at me. "Is that good?"
"It's perfect, thanks,"
"Good," he said and stood up straight again. "So…how do you feel?"
"Three things," I said. "I'm tired…I have a pounding headache…and I'm so confused.
"When you say confused…what exactly do you mean?"
I sighed shakily and looked at my mom. She softly smiled. "I don't know who I am." I said shakily. "Or who my mom is. Or…who anyone is. I'm trying to picture people's faces in my mind, but…I just…it's not working. No matter how hard I try," I gulped. "I feel like I'm going off of nothing."
"That's part of this injury, Tori." he explained to me gently. "It's normal to feel that way,"
"But…how is it that I know how to function and talk, but I don't know who anyone is?"
"Your mind remembers learning how to talk and walk and move and everything, but it doesn't remember voices or faces." he said. He raised his eyebrows. "Am I right?"
I slowly nodded. "I guess so." I shrugged. "I didn't even know my name and…I still don't know my last name."
"It's Vega," said my mom. "Your full name is Victoria Marie Vega."
"But…I thought my name was Tori?"
"Tori is actually short for Victoria." she told me. "It's been your nickname ever since you were a little girl. We rarely even call you Victoria. You're known as Tori everywhere."
"Oh," I glanced at the doctor. "This is such a weird feeling. It's like…I have no collection of any kind of memory…besides what's been going on the past few minutes."
"It's part of the process," said the doctor.
I sighed heavily. Even though I already knew about the fifty/fifty odds, I still asked, "Will my memory ever come back?"
"Honestly, Tori," started off the doctor. "It may or may not. We just have to be patient for now."
Having him say it to my face made my heart shatter. I looked over at my mom. I know I must have loved her, because she's my mom, and I hated to say it, but…I can't say I love her, because I don't know her. But I know I should. I hated that I didn't. "What will happen if I never get it back?"
The doctor was silent, but then my mom spoke up. "Then, we'll make the best of it." The doctor stood back while my mom sat on the edge of my bed. "Tori, I love you so much. You are an amazing person and I know that that person is still in there somewhere. Just be strong, okay? We'll get through this together." I could tell this was her trying to be strong for me.
I smiled at her. "Thanks," I opened my arms. "Can we hug?"
"Of course we can, baby." she said and she leaned into me and gave me a tight hug. I tentatively put my arms around her. I hated to think it, but it felt awkward. Here I was hugging someone I hardly even knew.
