I'm sad. :( No one seems to like reviewing this story… I really like writing it. So spread the word! Please, people, just do me a solid and tell people about this. Put it on your favorites list, write about it in your profile, but most of all REVIEW! Please, review.
Someone asked me if I would be using characters like Charlie, Jacob, and Angela. I'm not going to be able to use everyone, but I will be using most of Stephenie Meyer's (who I will refer to as SM from now on) characters. Or, I'll try to, at least.
One last thing: If anyone has any suggestions for bad things that can happen, please feel free to suggest them in a review, IM, or e-mail. I have now allowed my e-mail to be viewed on my profile, and my screen name is on there, too. So, on with the fic!
Alice Brandon-Swan
I thought that, maybe, things would get better. I thought that, maybe, I saw a glimmer of hope on the horizon of my future. I thought that, maybe, things could go back to normal.
But then I come back down to reality and I remember what had happened.
After my little mishap with Bella and Edward, I noticed my normally perfectly flat stomach growing in size. Every morning, when it was still very early, the sun having not come up yet, I would stand in the bathroom and examine every inch of my body. I would get up close to the mirror above the sink and examine my eyes, pulling at the darkened skin beneath them. Then I would rub my fingers over my cheeks, trying to make the sallow, somehow loose skin tight against my cheekbones like it once had been.
Then I would turn sideways and look at myself in the full-length mirror hanging from the back of the door.
"Oh, hello, little baby," I murmured on the morning of August nineteenth, running my hands down my stomach before cupping the little bump in my palms. Tears pricked my eyes as I found myself becoming very emotional. "Your father ruined my life, but I love you, even if no one else will." I sniffed and wiped my eyes before looking down at my child. I heard Bella moving around in her room, and I looked toward the door that she would soon walk through. I grabbed my clothes and ran into my room, shutting the door silently and locking it behind me. I clothed my naked body quickly, wearing a loose white sundress that hugged my chest (which was getting bigger) but hung loosely around my stomach and torso.
I glanced at the clock and realized I'd been standing in the bathroom for hours. I frowned, thinking about all the flaws I'd picked out – visible and invisible. I wished that I could put on some jeans, but my hips had been getting wider and they wouldn't zip up all the way anymore. Collapsing down on my bed, I dropped my head in my hands.
The emotional strain on my mind was immense. I felt guiltier than ever. I was still unable to sleep. If I did, it was because I passed out on the couch. Bella watched me like she expected me to explode into a million pieces. Edward had told his father, and now Carlisle was pestering me to go to him for a check-up. Worst of all, Jasper was avoiding me.
I didn't blame him. I wouldn't want to be around me, either.
Against my will, a sob erupted from my throat, and I watched the tears drip down my nose and onto my dress. I pressed my palms against my eyes and felt my shoulders shake with the weight of my grief. I didn't realize the bathroom door had opened and someone was watching me until I straightened up.
"Alice," Bella murmured, her face torn between sadness and reluctance. Sadness won out and she stepped across the floor, miraculously not tripping, and wrapped her arms tightly around me. "What's the matter?"
I lied. "Nothing. I'm… I'm just on my period, and I'm… I'm a little emotional."
"Why's that?" she asked, rubbing my hair.
"Jasper has been avoiding me. Do you know if he's mad at me?" Well, of course he was mad at me. He had every reason and right to be.
"No, he's not mad, Alice. Jasper and I, along with Rosalie, Carlisle, Emmett, Esme, and Edward, are really concerned for you. You've been acting funny all summer long. You look awful, and you haven't gone shopping or let Jasper kiss you for weeks." Bella took my shoulders as I tried to shove her away. "Please, Alice, tell me what's wrong! I'm begging you, as your best friend – and your sister."
For a moment, I was conflicted. "No," I said firmly at last. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine, I'm just feeling a little ill."
"Then let Carlisle take a look at you, Alice, please!" She gripped one of my oddly cold hands in both of hers.
I ripped it from her grasp. "No. Go away, Bella, I don't need this right now."
"Alice, Alice, please! I swear not to tell, I swear!" She fought against me as I began shoving her out of the room, and she easily won. My strength had deteriorated along with my appearance.
I decided to placate her. "If you swear not to tell, I'll tell you soon. Soon, Bella, I promise. Isn't that good enough for you?"
She stopped fighting. "Fine. It's fine." As her expression turned stony, she left my room the same way she came in.
Jasper started talking to me again. He came over later that afternoon and told me that my dress was pretty. For the next week, we hung out a lot. I tried to but on a brave face for him, but he wasn't fooled. He was just as half-hearted about our relationship as I was. He never kissed me, and I never tried to kiss him.
Life sucked.
Even worse was that the following Tuesday, on August twenty-sixth, school was starting. I went shopping with Rosalie and Bella and had to buy bigger pants. After Rosalie paid for our purchases, they went onto the food court. I told them I needed to pick up something else and would meet them. After they left, I bought a few sets of maternity jeans, along with a couple shirts. I ran them out to Rosalie's trunk and met them at the food court.
On the first day of school, I felt like everyone was staring at me. I was paranoid somebody knew. But nobody said anything about me, and by the end of the day, I hadn't heard any rumors about me. I was thankful that gym was a thing of the past for me since I was a junior.
The following Saturday, I was finishing up rubbing my skin raw in yet another shower when it happened.
I was drying my hair with a towel, dressed in comfy sweats as I waited for The Blair Witch Project to come on Showtime. I nearly screamed when I walked into my bedroom – because there was Bella, standing in the middle of the room, the ugly black bag at her feet. In each of her hands, she held two of my pregnancy tests.
Slowly, she looked at me. I briefly wondered what my face looked like. Her eyes were wide, her mouth opened into a little 'o' shape. "Alice," she began in a low voice with underlying fury, "are these yours?"
I nodded mutely.
Bella was oddly calm as she dropped the pregnancy tests, one by one, into the bag at her feet. I found the sound of them hitting the bottom of the bag very ominous. At last, she turned her incredulous gaze to me. "You promised. We both promised. We promised we would wait, Alice, until we were married," she hissed, her eyebrows coming together, eyes narrowing into a menacing glare. Tears stung my eyes. "How could you? You and Jasper-"
"It's not Jasper's," I whispered, pressing my hand to my continually-growing bump.
"What?" She sounded as if she'd run four miles. "It's not… then… You cheated on Jasper?" If she hadn't looked angry before, she was furious now. "How could you, Alice! You and Jasper… how could you do that to him! That is the lowest of low! You are the lowest of low!"
I broke down then.
I collapsed to my knees and pressed my face into my hands, sobbing against my palms. I didn't look at her, but I knew her anger had quickly diffused at the sight of my tears. "That's not it, is it?" she murmured, sinking down beside me. Her voice was kind now, but when she found out the truth, she would explode like she had just seconds before. "Well, if it's not Jasper's… and you didn't cheat on him… then how…?" She trailed off, her eyes widening of her own question was answered. "Oh. Oh."
"Bella, Bella," I insisted, grabbing her collar and holding on tightly, my eyes leaking more tears. "I swear to you I didn't mean for it to happen, I swear. It was an accident, it was an accident, I swear…" I broke down into more sobs, and I latched onto her for all I was worth. Whether she hated me or not, I didn't want to be abandoned. "Don't hate me, Bella, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
"Shh," she soothed. "Don't be ridiculous. I couldn't hate you for something that wasn't your fault, Alice. No, shh. It's okay."
"But it is my fault," I sobbed, hiding my face against her shirt.
That was when she smacked me.
My head turned from the shock of her blow, and I could already feel the blood flowing to my cheek where her hand had connected with my skin. I pressed my fingertips to the wound and exhaled sharply, turning my wide eyes to her. She was smiling, albeit apologetically, as she helped me up from the floor. "You are being silly, Alice. It's not your fault." Her smile faded and her lips pressed down into a hard line as she spoke through her teeth. "Somebody raped you. Somebody threw you down at your weakest moment and took advantage of you. This isn't your fault. Not at all."
And I found that, somehow, I could believe her.
"Now," she murmured, touching my cheek. "We've gotta call someone."
"No," I said instantly.
"Alice, don't. You are pregnant. You're going to have a baby. You need medical care. You have to see a doctor." She paused, gazing into my eyes. "I'll call Carlisle, and he'll-"
"No," I pleaded. "Bella, no, please. Let me tell them. I'll do it soon. It's not like I can put it off much longer." Against my better judgment, I gingerly lifted the skirt of my dress to show her the tiny baby growing in my stomach. She sighed and reached out but dropped her hand last minute.
With eyes of disapproval, she agreed. "Fine. But soon, Alice. If you don't do it soon, I will tell them."
I sighed. "Okay. I will."
Just when things were looking up, they plummeted back down.
For two more weeks, I kept getting bigger. I could see the bulge that was my baby even better now. I loved it already, even though it wasn't born yet. I could sleep easier, as long as I was sleeping in Bella's bed. Nightmares no longer plagued me. My skin became healthier, tighter, and I began to get more natural weight as my appetite kept growing and the morning sickness ceased.
Bella did her research. She got me prenatal vitamins and made sure there was always healthy food in the house. I had a distinct craving for sweet tea all the time, so there was always a gallon of that in the house, too. Jasper noticed my change in mood, but despite that, he seemed just as distant as usual.
I was, however, very hormonal. I cried often, even at the tiniest of things. If Renee thought I was gaining a little weight, I would burst into tears. She only did that once, however, and didn't bring it up again.
It was a good day when the worst happened. I woke up, refreshed and rejuvenated. There was a pint of Ben and Jerry's calling my name. But most importantly, Jasper was coming over for the whole day. Even if I couldn't kiss him (Bella had accepted me, but there was still the problem of Jasper, who hadn't a clue), I wanted to be with him… no matter how hard the impending separation afterward would be.
I had finished showering (normally, for once, no red skin involved) and was trying to choose an outfit for the day. My normal clothes were no longer fitting. I had to wear either baggy sweatshirts or some of my maternity clothes. Just as I was to make a decision, I heard voices in the hall. Thinking nothing of it, I dropped my towel, preparing to put on my underwear, when –
The door burst open.
At first, I just froze. Jasper stood in the doorway, his eyebrows coming together. At last, he slammed his fist into the door, making me jump. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it securely around my body, my eyes filling with tears. Who knew the separation would come so soon?
"Jasper!" Bella screamed, grabbing his arm as he stormed off down the hall. I ran after him, trying to assist her.
"No, Jasper, this isn't what it looks like!" I shrieked, pulling on his shirt. He knocked Bella away and grabbed my wrist, his nails biting into my skin. I yelped and he instantly released me.
Breathing heavily, his eyes boring straight into my own, he yelled, "So this is what you meant, by getting too attached? Well, you were right, Alice!" He began storming off down the stairs.
"Wait, Jasper, please, I can explain," I begged, the tears flowing relentlessly now. I dashed down the stairs and grabbed his shirtsleeve again, holding on with all my might. He looked down at me as he yanked open the front door, and I released his arm like I'd been electrocuted. The absolute hatred in his eyes – it was worse than any nightmare I'd ever feared. "I-I'm sorry."
He rolled his eyes, pushing me away. "Yeah, I'll bet," he spat, stepping outside and not bothering to shut the door. He stomped down the stoop steps and made his way to the BMW.
"Jasper, no!" I tried again. "Please, wait! Please! Please! Jasper, please! STOP!" The sound of the tires on the pavement was the final thing that broke me and made me realize it was over. Jasper would no longer be a part of my life. As I watched the shiny red car speed around the corner, I fell to my knees on the steps, my hands no longer gripping the towel as I pressed them to my aching stomach. Then I bent my head, closed my eyes, and wept for all the love I had lost.
This is my favorite chapter, by far. :)
No author's note could describe how upset I am right now for Alice.
That's real craftsmenship.
