Is this right?

By: ShamenKing

Rating: Uh, T for Teen, I guess.

Warnings: It's freaking gay and ZaDR, so if you clicked on this by mistake, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! RUN, RUN AWAY AND NEVER RETUUUUUUURN! And if you meant to click on this, ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Okay?

Summary: Why do I feel this way around him? I-is this right? What will dad think of me when he learns his only son is…gay? And besides that, STILL into the paranormal. Maybe everyone was right, maybe I AM crazy…

Chapter Three

I had thought for sure that the little detector would go off as we slipped through the door unnoticed. But it hadn't. My eyes wandered to Zim's metal back pack, littered with band stickers and little oddly shaped key chains. The thing must have been to thick for the detector to pick up the stashed book, but that was okay. No one had checked that out since it was bought, except me. Everyone was more interested in fiction. As long as no one thought to check that particular book on weapons out, all would be fine. Even then, no one would know we, or Zim, took it…right?

Zim quickly interrupted my thoughts, still walking down the hall, still gripping my sleeve tightly in his hand. "Hm, should we head back to class now? I wanted to know what kind of teaching the teachers taught here."

"Um, what?" I blinked then snapped out of my daze of regrets since the last five minutes. "Oh, not yet. We'd be walking into the middle of class right now. You can head to your next class in, oh, about a half an hour, maybe. I'll probably skip the rest of school and head back home, though."

"Oh." was all he had to say on that subject and I let it go fast. For some reason I wanted to be around him as much as possible, but then it scared me that I wanted to be around him so much and I want to run. But, giving way to one of my other emotions, I just let everything fall away if he wanted to stop talking about it, do what he wanted to do, even if I didn't want to. "Is there not a bigger library around here?" He whipped his head around several times and stopped. I stopped on a dime and tried to pull my hand away carefully with no success.

"Oh, yeah. There is. Maybe…I can take you there later. Maybe." I added the 'maybe' because with Zim I felt like I wanted to be near him. That'd never happened before, never with a girl and definitely never with another boy. Maybe it was the way he talked, or the way he could tell me half truths and not lie, or his oddly green skin and missing features. Whenever he looked at me the word 'ALIEN' screamed in my head and echoed into my ears, then I'd have to beat it down. He turned to stare at me, and my mind went crazy, as well as my heart and stomach, but I still wanted to be near him. Around him. Was I sick?

My heart pounded in my chest and I half expected him to yell, "Why is your HEART beating so loud and fast?!" I felt my stomach drop into my intestines and I tried to swallow to ease my dry throat.

"W-what?" My throat sounded dry and scratchy to my ears, but he didn't seem to notice. And if he did, he showed no signs of caring.

"Your eyes give everything away, you know." I stopped dead and waited for more of his darkly spoken words. "Everyone knows what you fear and everyone knows what you hate." he narrowed those creepy salmon pink eyes, "I know what you think I am…but I'm not. Get that vile and ludicrous thought out of your head. Beat it down into a jooooosy pulp, I don't care, but never give me that look again." His eyes hardened into an incredibly unhappy expression and he turned away.

"I-I'm really sorry." The hand that was gripping my sleeve, the one I had been struggling to remove, slackened and slid off and now I wished he'd put it back… "Look, I USED to be into the paranormal. I'm not anymore. I don't think you're…well, I can't even say it…" I knew I was lying, he knew it too. But, I felt him quietly accept it.

"Yes. Zim knows." He blinked and sighed, suddenly getting a burst of energy. "I AM ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!"

"OW, OW!" I grabbed my ears and gave him a glare. He grinned.

"Ah, Zim hasn't done that in SUCH a looooooooong time. He missed it." Zim turned and I just noticed how he said many things in the third person. Usually, that would annoy me…but with him. Well, with him it was a cute thing for him to do. I think I am sick. Zim grabbed my sleeve again and pulled. I followed. It wasn't that I thought he was cute (maybe) but I felt compelled to go. Like I needed to.

"Zim wants to explore the building." he said it casually, as if he skipped everyday.

"I don't think so. We'd get CAUGHT and get I. S. S." I pulled my arm away and he came with it. His head landed in my chest and he leaned his head upwards so he could see my face. I held my arm high above my head, his hand still clutching the sleeve, he was almost two inches off the ground.

That, apparently, wasn't on his mind. "What IS this…I. S. S. you speeeeaaaak of? Tell meeeeeee…" Very commanding. If I weren't about to faint.

"U-uh, I-it's In school Suspension. Something you probably wouldn't want." I swallowed thickly and Zim gave me a look. Suddenly, his expression changed into more of an expression that you get you find out something you'd probably known all along. What did he know? What did he see in my eyes?

"Hmmm," he hummed and reached his feat down, pulling my arm down with him. I jerked when he put his skater gloved hand in my own and squeezed almost…comfortingly?

"Uh, w-what're you do-doing??" I backed away, ripping my hand from his. Or, so I thought. He came right with me.

"What you wanted me to do, Diiiiiib. A…" He squeezed my hand again, "…comforting SQUEEZE!" he grinned wickedly. Knowing all to well that he was right. Why does he have to know stuff? It's almost as if he knows me more then I know myself… No, that's a stupid thought. He can't read minds.

"I…maybe. Maybe I do want to hold your hand. But, I can't." I held back the tears that were begging to be let out since dad had sent me to… No, I'm never going back there again. "I can't, Zim, I just can't."

He gave me a look. Didn't he know why? He knew everything else, why didn't he know this? Why can't he just know? "Why is this, Dib?" I liked the way he said my name. Like I was the only one there. Well, okay. I WAS the only one there, but if I wasn't…it'd sound the same…

I inhaled sharply, "I don't- no, I can't go back to that place." I shuddered at the memories, they always seemed to become clear in the haze of other memories. Faded and padded walls…a white coat, restricting me…cold stares…loneliness. That's what comes to mind, not much else can describe it. "It was horrible. Science is the only real thing, there's no such thing as the paranormal. Aliens, Bigfoot, killer Chihuahuas, all fake. Myths."

Zim gave me an odd look, as if wondering what was going on in my mind. But I didn't even know. My old beliefs and what I believe now clash, creating sparks and confusion in their wake. Yes. That was it, I was terribly confused. Zim wasn't an alien, he had a skin condition. Bigfoot was just a really hairy man that walked around in the woods sometimes. Chihuahuas couldn't kill a bunny. I bit my lip, why was it that…I can never convince myself totally. There's always the suspicion and paranoia lurking behind the corners of my mind, always in the shadows. Making me believe there's more than meets the eye. And I always believe it…

I closed my eyes so tightly that a few tears were knocked loose and they slipped down my cheek. My face was flushed, I knew, but I didn't care. My glasses fell down on my nose and when I looked up everything was blurry. Just like my life. Zim suddenly touched my arm and brought me back to the real world, out of my crazy thoughts.

"What's with you?" he asked, trying hard not to look concerned. But I wasn't the only one with the give-away-eyes here.

"Stuff. Lots of stuff that I don't want to explain." I sighed and closed my eyes again, trying very hard to lose myself again. I used to do that a lot, it was one reason I went back there those many, many times. Counciling was also a big thing, but I had never spoke to them. Why should they know what I think? No one else cared, so why start.

"Remember, your eyes tell me aaaaallllllll…" he grinned into my ear and my breathing labored. "Just tell me, and we won't have to have an interrogation."

"You might be cute…" I started, not thinking, "and I may be drawn to you, but I'll never tell anyone my thoughts again. You know a lot, why don't you know this? Why should I have to SAY anything!" my voice cracked and, because he was still leaning on me, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his neck. He practically purred into my shoulder and he wrapped his arms around me.

"See. Don't you feel…so much better now?" Zim's tongue touched my skin as he spoke and I felt goosebumps rise up on my arms in anticipation. Wait, anticipation? What did I think was gonna happen anyway? I gasped as he licked the skin that was out in the open. Ah, that was what I was waiting for…consent. My mouth went at it, I licked the exposed skin on his neck. "I knew it. This WAS what the Dib wanted, isn't it? Comfort. Love. Understanding…? Maybe?"

I stopped, he already knew the answer to that. I nipped his skin and he nipped back. Zim suddenly pulled back and pressed his lips against mine. At first I tried to pull away, but I slowly melted into what I wanted, what I desired the most, he was right. Why is he always so right? How come he seems to know me so much better then I know myself? I ran my fingers lightly around the exposed skin under Zim's shirt. Then I wondered why he wore a belly shirt to school, wouldn't the teachers say something? But I wasn't complaining, I could touch more and more of his skin. I pushed up his shirt and ran my hands up and down the skin there. Zim pushed up the front of my shirt and pressed his stomach against mine.

I gasped as he ran his oddly clawed shaped fingers up and down my sides. Why does something so BAD have to feel so GOOD? At least, I thought I was doing a bad thing. But maybe I was doing the right thing and everyone lied to me. Not as if it mattered now. Suddenly I got an idea from something I'd seen on TV and I slipped my tongue out of my mouth, running it along his bottom lip. He hesitated at first and I wondered if it was even a good idea from the start, but then he opened his mouth.

It was weird at first, but we slowly became accustomed to it. We must be quick learners. He wrapped his thin tongue around mine and squeezed. I squeaked, but practically begged him to do it again with my hands. My hands slipped down and started to mess with the hem of his pants, wondering if I should go any further. Why not? Not like I could get pregnant off of another boy. My hand slipped under his pants and he squealed, and nipped my tongue. I giggled and pulled my hand out to pull up Zim's shirt. The shirt was now all the way up and bunched up at the top of his torso.

My hands explored his skin and I pulled my mouth away from Zim to catch my breath, which he took as an opportunity to nibble on my bottom lip with his zipper-y teeth. We didn't even notice that the passing bell had rang…


Do any of you people think I rushed into the romance part? It's supposed to kind of be that Zim is manipulating Dib, because he's easy to manipulate! He makes Dib give into his desires, and they start to kind of make out. They get caught by the whole student body. Okay, maybe 1/4, but gossip like that'll travel at light speed. It does at MY school. Any way...

Please Review? For the sake of your children? Or...your parents? Whatever you hold dear is fine.