Title: You're My Hill to Die On (Cowards Sequel) Part 3 of 7

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Nick/Greg Slash

Word Count: ~5200

Warning: Sexual Content, mentions of Violence and NonCon, Mean people

Disclaimer: This story is complete fiction. They don't belong to me - I just play with them a little.

Summary: After everything they worked through to finally be together - will a visit to Nick's childhood home be the one thing they can't overcome?

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

It was a rough night.

And it wasn't until Greg's fourth nightmare that he confessed to the man to whom he was clinging that he had been having them at least once a night for almost a month.

When Nick had held Greg's exhausted body earlier in the night as they huddled on the bathroom floor while Greg recovered from a scent induced flashback, Nick was sure he couldn't feel like a bigger dickhead than he did in that moment. To not even think about whose bed he had left for Greg to sleep was unforgivable. And then he learned that his lover had been suffering in silence for weeks as his anxiety haunted his every dream - the nightly terror that Nick had just slept through. Nick wasn't sure how to make it right.

Yet here was his sweet boyfriend - dark shadows underneath the dark lashes of his closed eyelids. He had finally drifted into a sleep that lasted for more than an hour without finding himself being tortured by Paul and Nate in the darkest corner of his mind. Greg was wrapped around Nick - so willing to be vulnerable - an honor Nick felt he didn't deserve at the moment.

Nick remembered a time when he would secretly stay awake all night just to watch for the first sign of Greg's nightmares. Now he didn't even wake up when Greg was fighting monsters in his sleep. The guilt and shame he felt for taking for granted the man in his arms was heavy in his heart. It was not the actions - or lack thereof - of the man Nick thought himself to be.

And Greg deserved more.

He watched Greg sleep for a few more minutes - enjoying the relaxed beauty of Greg's sweet face and the feel of his warmth pressed against him as they snuggled together in a bed much too small for two grown men. His fingers lightly carded through Greg's hair as he inhaled the only scent that he had ever found comfort and he cried quietly for the pain, discomfort. and anxiety his boyfriend had endured without complaint.

Nick kissed his sleeping man on the forehead before a quick peck to the scar on his temple. He carefully untangled himself and left Greg to catch up on the sleep he had lost to the monsters. He followed the aroma of coffee to the kitchen where he found his mother sitting at the small kitchen table reading the morning paper.

"I didn't think anyone actually read the newspaper anymore." Nick teased before he kissed his mother on her cheek. "Mornin' Momma."

"Morning, Baby." She said with a smile. "What can I say - I like the smell of print media."

Nick looked at her empty coffee cup. "Need a refill?"

"Absolutely." She handed him her cup. "No sugar..."

"Extra cream." Nick interrupted playfully. "I remember."

When he returned with two steaming mugs and sat across from her, she folded her paper carefully and looked at her son. "I heard quite a racket coming from your end of the hallway last night. Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Nick slumped back in his chair. "At least I hope so. Greg had a flashback after he crawled into bed...Nate's bed...I'm a bastard and didn't even think about it when I picked my old bed."

She grabbed his hand. "Oh Honey. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Why not?" Nick bristled. "Someone's got to be - Greg's way too patient with me."

"So it's his fault, then," She asked.

"No! That's not what I...no!" Nick loved and hated how on-point she could be. "I heard you two, you know..."

"What do you mean?" She prodded him to talk it through.

"Yesterday. He was looking at the Stokes Family Shrine and I could see him freeze when he saw the football picture. I was just about to get in there and pull him away when you showed up. He talked to you so...easily. You told him that when he got overwhelmed to pull you aside so he could regroup. He should be able to count on me for that - you know? But he didn't say that. He just nodded and looked grateful to have someone on his side. He doesn't feel like I'm on his side? That's my fault and I don't know how to fix it."

Nicks eyes were shimmering. When he felt his mother's arms around his shoulders he couldn't stop the tears.

"Oh Nicky, Darlin', you both need some taking care of. You're both full of so much need and so much of it that conflicts with the other's - it's okay to let your momma take up some of the burden. For both of you."

Nick's tears had become full-on sobs. "I love him so much, Momma. I can't lose him...but I don't know how to be what he needs right now. I just keep messing it all up."

"No Baby...your daddy and I messed up a long time ago and you and that sweet man upstairs are paying for it." She soothed her son with her fingernails gently scratching his scalp. "You just keep loving him - do your very best - and when you see that you're messing up let him know right away. He understands you more than you understand yourself, Nicky. Don't doubt that."

"I know he does." Nick nodded into her shoulder. "I'm so lucky."

"Yes. You are." She agreed. "And so is he."

"I'm not so sure about that." He confessed.

She chuckled fondly. "Well, I am. And I'm the momma so I win the argument."

Nick laughed in relief. "Thanks Momma."

She squeezed him in reply.

He pulled away and looked at her skeptically. "When did you and my boyfriend get so close, anyway?"

She grinned in response. "Greg's an easy man to get to know." She lovingly grabbed a handful of dark hair. "He's also an easy man to love."

"Do you think everyone will think that?" Nick looked at her through hopeful eyes.

She pulled him to her in a motherly embrace. "Eventually."

"I don't know if he and I can make it through 'eventually', Momma."

"I believe much of that depends on you, Son." That was about as tough as her love could get.

Nick knew she was right. "Oh god - we're doomed then."

She laughed and squeezed her boy. "Stop acting like you're powerless. You have to pick your hill to die on, sometimes. Picking is up to you and only you."

When she said it - it sounded like Greg was obviously the hill Nick should choose. When Nick thought about the way he threw those same words at his lover not more than 24-hours earlier - he realized that he implied to Greg that he wasn't the hill Nick was interested in winning. He realized that he had taken for granted that Greg was a hill already won - so there was no reason to battle for him anymore.

He essentially told Greg that he was completely on his own as he entered what was sure to feel like enemy territory.

And Greg willingly entered battle.

Greg picked Nick.

He always picks Nick.

"You're right." Nick sighed into his mother's bosom before he pulled out of the safety of her arms. "It's time for me to be the kind of man Greg deserves - the kind of man he's been for me."

"That's my boy." She patted his cheek.

"Am I interrupting something?" Greg's groggy voice asked from the arched kitchen entryway. "I can just grab a cup of coffee and head out to the porch."

"You're not interrupting a thing, Greg." She reassured him. "Nick was just heading out there himself."

Nick silently thanked his mother for the nudge. "You mind if I join you, G?"

The smile that lit up his lovers face was overwhelmingly poignant. "I would love it."

Once they had settled on the porch swing, Nick took a sip of hot liquid and pushed his feet against the floorboards to get them gently swinging. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah." Greg leaned a little into Nick's space without touching him. "Thanks for bending the rules. I really needed that last night."

Nick took another sip of coffee while nonchalantly throwing his other arm around Greg's shoulders, resting most of the weight of it on the back of the swing's bench seat. "My rules suck."

Greg took a sip of his own brew before agreeing. "They really, really do."

Nick nodded and slipped his arm so it was a little more around Greg than resting on wood. "Glad we cleared that up."

Greg giggled. They sat together quietly, sipping coffee and enjoying the moment.

It felt good.

"When are we expecting the first of the litter-mates to show up?" Greg asked.

He sounded nervous.

"I think Reba will be first. She lives closest. Her husband Rick and their boys are really awesome" He answered, trying to sound confident for the sake of his lover. "Paula and Ginny usually come together because they live two miles apart and neither have spouses at the moment. Ginny's two girls will be with them. The girls are a bit spoiled, but they get away with it because of the divorce. Sarah and John will come in later this afternoon. They have a boy in college, so he may not be with them. Then there's Natalie. She and Ben are coming from Toronto, so they'll be in later tonight. Sometimes they bring the kids and sometimes they leave them with the nanny,"

"Nanny?" Greg raised a brow. "For the holidays?"

"Right." Nick shook his head. "Imagine the rehab and therapy coming their way."

"Oh boy." Greg whistled. "What about...doesn't he have a couple of kids? Will they..."

"Probably not until we leave - they'll come with..." Nick swallowed. "...him."

"I hate this." Greg rested his head on Nick's shoulder.

Nick let him. "I know. And I really appreciate that you're willing to do this, G. I love you and despite my complete inability to show it - I am on your side this week."

Greg smiled and sang in a falsetto, "You and me against the world..."

Nick chuckled. "I actually think Helen Reddy had a deeper singing voice."

Greg elbowed Nick playfully. "What are you saying?"

Nick took a leap of faith and kissed Greg's forehead - right there on the front porch. "I'm saying you're so gay, G."

"On that note..." Greg leaned into Nick's touch. "...I'm going to grab another cup and head upstairs to shower. I want to look my very best for the gauntlet."

"Tell you what..." Nick grabbed Greg's cup. "...you head up and I'll bring you a fresh cup."

When Nick made it upstairs he saw his boyfriend standing in the doorway of the room they were sharing. "G?"

He stepped behind Greg, trying to figure out what had stopped him in his tracks. It only took one look into the room to understand. Where two twin beds had been earlier in the morning, one remained. And it wasn't one of the tiny twin beds, it was a double bed that had been made up with fresh sheets and a bright blue and yellow quilt. They were both now standing in the doorway - speechless.

"I know it's still small, but it's better than two grown men squeezing into a little twin bed." Bill's voice appeared from behind them. "Your mother asked me to trade the twins with with the bed in the attic bonus room."

"Oh." It was all Nick was capable of articulating.

"I'll be out with the horses. You should show Greg around out there later." Bill said before disappearing down the stairs.

After another minute of stunned silence, Nick slipped his arms around Greg's waist while keeping the steaming mugs away from his body. He rested his chin on Greg's shoulder and whispered with mock conspiracy. "I have no idea who that man is. He looks like my dad, though."

Greg laughed quietly. "I wonder how many years you've been underestimating them."

"Probably about as many as they've been letting me." Nick said with sudden clarity.

Greg nodded. "Touche'."

Reba and Rick pulled up in front of the estate while Nick was still showering. Greg watched them from the bedroom window - biting his nails and jiggling one leg nervously. She looked like a younger version of Jillian. The Stokes were a beautiful clan - there as no doubt about it. Rick was stunning as well and as two young boys emerged from the back of the Lexus sedan, he realized that the mixture of DNA that created them was absolute perfection.

Greg's ears burned as he suddenly felt like the Ugly Duckling who never converted to the Swan. Nick came out of the bathroom naked with a towel being vigorously rubbed all over his wet hair. When Greg turned to take in the view, he suddenly craved comfort sex and felt deprived knowing he couldn't have it. "Let the games begin!" He said from across the room.

Nick stopped the hair drying to look at his lover - confused.

Greg clarified. "The first arrival just pulled up."

"Oh!" Nick crossed the room, wrapping the towel around his waist before he made it to the open window. "Rick and Reba." He confirmed. "The little one is Josh and the hyper chubby guy is Junior."

"Josh - Junior - Rick - Reba. Josh - Junior - Rick - Reba." Greg mumbled. "Got it."

"Let me throw on some clothes and we'll go down for formal introductions." Nick said. He saw the tension in Greg's posture. "But first..." He pulled Greg from the window and into his arms. Greg's surprise when their lips met was expressed by a pleasant moaning sound. Nick deepened the kiss and he felt Greg's hand skim down his back until he had pushed the towel from its precarious placement around Nick's hips and grabbed both bared cheeks firmly in his hands. Nick chuckled as he pulled away from the searching mouth of his lover.

"Greg." Nick mocked a warning tone.

Greg smirked. "You said periodic groping was okay."

"You're right." Nick snuck one more quick kiss. "I did."

They walked into the living room twenty minutes later and were greeted by the perfect couple and Nick's parents. Reba stepped toward Greg and held her hand out for a friendly greeting. "You must be Greg."

"That'd be me." Greg shook her hand and nodded. "It's good to meet you, Reba. He turned to Rick and offered his hand. "Rick."

Rick shook hands enthusiastically. "I'm so happy to finally meet you, Greg."

Greg noticed how deliberate they both were to make eye contact and to say his name. He was immediately at ease with them. "Nick's been quizzing me on the roster. You have a couple of little ones around here somewhere - right? Josh and Junior?"

"That's right!" Reba overcompensated with a shriek. "They're out with the horses."

"Nick and I were heading out there in a bit." Greg tried to find ways to break the ice a bit more. "You want to join us?"

"That sounds great." Rick chimed in. "It's always easier for the boys to meet new people when they have a distraction."

"I was a shy kid - I totally get that!" Greg looked at Nick. "Lead the way, Tex."

Nick was once again amazed. Greg had this ability to turn on the charm. He can separate the facets of his experiences with the Stokes - the hateful twin from the kind-hearted lover, the nervous anxiety from the realtime introductions. Most people wouldn't come within one hundred miles of their rapist's family home - let alone risk the wrath of meeting family and friends. Yet Greg was willing to sleep in the childhood home which was less than ten miles from the current residence of the man who changed his life forever. He was willing to meet - at face value - people who may or may not believe his version of events. Greg had not only bonded - but freely loved Nick's parents - despite the fact that they reared the evil that almost destroyed him.

And he was willing to do all of this because he loved Nick Stokes.

As the foursome approached the two young boys who were happily grooming two beautiful Appaloosa mares, Reba announced the arrival of the four adults. "Junior - Josh - come meet Uncle Nick's boyfriend."

Nick and Greg exchanged shocked glances. Nick was obviously not expecting such an open introduction. The two boys looked up shyly from their large white and black-speckled friends.

Greg crossed the remaining distance and stroked the nearest horse-face. "What're their names?" He asked the shy boys.

"This one is Rocket." The chubby Junior explained.

Josh wasn't about to be out-shined. "Mine's name is Star Gazer"

"Do you guys have names?" Greg teased while he moved to pat the other horse on the shoulder.

"He's Josh, I'm Junior." Chubs explained. "He's only seven."

"Seven!" Greg exclaimed. "I was gonna guessed at least ten!"

"Psh!" Junior sounded insulted. "I'm ten - he's just a little kid!"

"Am not!" Josh yelled.

Junior poked him on the shoulder. "Are too!"

"Moooooooom!" Josh whined - loudly.

"You know what I think?" Greg intervened before Reba could even open her mouth to reprimand her sons. "I think being seven is super cool and being ten is super awesome and now that I know the two of you I have super cool AND super awesome friends at the same time. How cool is that?"

They seemed to contemplate it for a few seconds before Junior asked, "You wanna meet Flash and Sugar Pie?"

"Are you kidding?" Greg exclaimed dramatically. "Heck yeah!"

They each grabbed one of Greg's hands and pulled him deeper into the barn. "Come on, Uncle Greg." Josh said.

Greg turned to the three adults who were looking both impressed and surprised. He shrugged before trotting behind his chattering young tour guides.

"I think he may be too good for you, Baby Brother/" Reba teased.

Nicked chuckled. "He's most definitely too good for me."

"We'll give them ten minutes, then we're rescuing your boyfriend." Rick teased.

Nick didn't think he could possibly love Greg any more than he already did. But he realized he was wrong about that. "Sounds like a plan."

After Rick went to find Greg and the boys twenty minutes later, Reba took the opportunity to express a few of her concerns to her brother. "Mom said he was one of the most amazing people she had ever met. And I am already agreeing with her."

"He's..."

"Nicky. Rick and I talked about it and we decided to just not even acknowledge what happened last year. But if you think it would be better to tell Greg how horrible we feel about..."

"No." Nick stopped her. He wanted to get this out before Greg showed up. "You're right. You're handling it perfectly."

"Okay." Reba looked toward the large barn. "But just between us, Nicky. We don't buy Nate's bullshit for a minute. What he did to Greg is unforgivable and we want you and Greg here. We want you both here. Okay?"

"Those horses are gorgeous!" Greg sounded like a little kid himself. "Will you teach me how to ride?"

"Of course!" Nick wanted to kiss him.

"The little J's are awesome." Greg said to Reba.

"Little J's?" She smirked playfully.

Greg shrugged. "It's kinda our thing."

"Oh boy." She rolled her eyes. "They can sniff out a sucker a mile away."

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They were both feeling more relaxed and comfortable when Paula and Ginny showed up. The sisters walked into the living room and glared at Reba. "What are you doing?" Ginny demanded of her sister.

"Um..." She looked from Ginny to Paula and back again. "Drinking beer and shooting the shit with Nick and Greg. What the hell does it look like I'm doing?"

Greg immediately tensed up. Nick was sitting next to him on the leather love-seat and noticed immediately. He tried to smooth over some of the palpable tension. "Ginny. Paula. I'd like you to meet Greg."

Greg stood to greet the two sisters. "I've heard a lot about you both. I'm happy to finally be meeting..."

Ginny ignored him and looked at Nick instead. "I had to leave the girls at home thanks to you."

"Excuse me?" Nick was thrown by the immediate hostility.

Greg backed up and slumped into his seat next to Nick.

"I can't bring them into a situation where they'll ask questions about why Uncle Nate and Aunt MaryEllen aren't here. What am I supposed to tell them?"

"Oh I don't know," Reba stepped in. "Maybe that their Uncle Nate did a terrible, horrible thing to someone very special to this family and because of that he has to miss some stuff."

"We don't know that he did anything." Ginny almost screamed. "It's just allegations."

"He confessed!" Reba yelled.

"Only because it was the only way to get home to his family!" Ginny defended her brother.

"You actually believe that crap?" Reba almost screamed. "Nate's always been a loose cannon with a hair trigger. It's not hard to believe that he would..."

"He's your brother!" Ginny did scream. "That man is just some..."

"Hey!" Nick finally intervened.

"Excuse me." Greg couldn't stand it anymore. "I think this is between family." He stood to leave. "I'll just go upstairs..."

Nick grabbed his hand and stood as well. "You're right, Greg. It's between family. Let's give them some privacy."

Greg was a little thrown. He wasn't sure what Nick meant until Nick looked Ginny in the eye and said. "Greg is my family too, Ginny. You're going to have to figure out how to deal with that."

Once they got to their room and closed the door Greg flung himself into Nick's arms. "Can we just stay in here for the next two days?"

"You okay, Baby?" Nick's concern was overwhelming in his tone.

"That really sucked." Greg burrowed into a Nick scented, cotton covered shoulder. "I love you so fucking much."

Nick's arms easily wrapped around Greg's shoulders. "You're my fucking hero, Greg Sanders." Nick held Greg close and inhaled against his neck. "If we weren't in my parents house I would be all over you right now."

Greg almost cried before he chuckled. "Not even a blow job?"

Nick laughed quietly. "Don't tempt me."

"Oh god, Nicky." Greg sighed against Nick's exposed neck. "I've never felt so close to you. I need you so much right now. Thank you for..."

"Please don't thank me. You shouldn't feel like there's anything to...I mean..." Nick nuzzled while he spoke. "I mean it, G. You're my family. We're a package deal."

"It feels good knowing you're on my side."

Nick's body tensed - just a little - but Greg felt it none-the-less. "There are no sides, G. I love you. It's as simple as that."

When did that change? It was only this morning that Nick sat with Greg on the porch assuring him that he was on Greg's side. And now? Something about that didn't feel right, but Greg wasn't about to dig too deep to figure out why. So he did what he does best - he shifted course before the train-wreck. "Do you think Paula hates me as much as Ginny?"

Nick lied. "Ginny doesn't hate you, G."

"Ooooo-kay." Greg pulled back so he could look his boyfriend in the eye. "Do you think Paula thinks I'm the destruction of the Stoke's family and reputation - as much as Ginny does?"

"Just be patient with them." Nick avoided the question. "They'll come around eventually."

"They hate me." Greg leaned back into Nick and sighed. "They blame me."

""But they love me." Nick tried to be reassuring.

Greg wasn't reassured by that at all.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Can you pass these to Greg." Nick handed a bowl of steaming potatoes to the sister sitting to his right. Paula took the bowl from Nick and placed it in front of her plate. "Come on, P. Don't be a jerk."

Natalie, who was sitting on the other side of Paula picked up the bowl and passed to the nervous man sitting on the other side of her.

"Thank you." Greg said without looking up from the table in front of him.

Natalie merely shrugged at him.

Greg wasn't sure how he ended up sitting two sisters away from his boyfriend, but he had never felt so uncomfortable in his life. Ginny and Paula started the girl's side of the table and he was sandwiched between Natalie and Sarah with Reba finishing off the curve of the row. John, Rick, and Ben sat across the table. Bill skirted the curve of the table next to Ben, Nick skirted the opposite curve - next to John. Jill sat at the head of the table and there was an empty chair at the other end. Ginny had insisted they leave that specific spot empty to honor their missing sibling.

No one wanted to start a fight before dinner so they just went with it.

There were two things about the group of people that bothered Greg - in addition to the fact that half of them were blatantly hostile, of course.

One - there were no children. Junior and Josh were already in bed after eating an earlier dinner because they were too young to wait up for Natalie and Ben to arrive. None of the others brought their children though. Nick tried to make it seem like that was normal - or at least not that uncommon - but Greg could see it in Jillian's eyes. It was a surprising disappointment that her grandchildren weren't there.

Then there was the seating arrangement itself. Greg was on one side of the table with all the women and Nick was on the other side of the table with all the men. He was insulted. And he was disappointed in Nick for not paying closer attention.

Greg placed a small spoonful of potatoes on his plate and passed the bowl to Sarah. She took the bowl without a word.

Greg wanted to run from the table screaming.

"Greg, you want some of this chicken?" Rick asked. "Jill makes the best fried chicken this side of the Mississippi."

"The other side too." Reba added.

Greg appreciated the effort they were making on his behalf. They had both been going out of their way to include Greg in conversation and demonstrate their acceptance of him as a member of the family. When Josh whined that he wanted to hear a story before bed, Reba made a point to ask Greg if he would mind doing it. "They just love their Uncle Greg already. It would mean so much to them if you told them one of your Norwegian tales."

Greg wondered when Nick was going to step up on his behalf. He seemed to be letting his sister do all the work so he could remain neutral. It was annoying.

"Sure." Greg answered Reba's question. "I love fried Chicken."

The platter started making its way toward Greg, with each sister taking a piece or two as it moved along - wether they needed it or not. By the time it reached Greg there was only a small wing left. He just stared at the white porcelain and concentrated most of his energy on not crying.

At least there were no more outbursts from Ginny. And the ice seemed to be melting a little on the men's side of the table. There was still quite a bit of thawing to take place between Greg and his fellow wives, though - and he was pretty sure that he was stuck on the iceberg indefinitely.

He was exhausted.

Maintaining a fake smile and calm exterior while feeling silently attacked and marginalized was hard work. Top that off with the fact that half the table acted like he was the bad guy who perpetrated a crime against their beloved brother and the other half referred to it as the "Nate Situation" - as if it were a property dispute rather than an assault against Greg's mind, body, and soul - Greg felt like he had just run fourteen marathons in a row.

He was lost in his thoughts, so he wasn't sure who started it exactly, but he suddenly heard Reba yelling towards the other end of the table. "You're all being ridiculous."

"I'm a little sick of you siding with that..."

"Don't start, Ginny." Reba threatened. "You've been being a huge bitch since..."

"Enough!" Jill finally intervened. "I've had enough of this. We are a family and I will not have you going at each other's throats because we're finding ourselves thrown into an uncomfortable situation. This is when we need to pull together."

"Excuse me." Greg couldn't take it anymore. He loved Jillian and Bill and was so grateful for their willingness to invite him into the family home. But he couldn't take the denial anymore. Especially when NIck seemed so willing to downplay it for the sake of peace. He was really starting to believe he made a mistake. Maybe this was too complicated to overcome. Maybe love isn't strong enough to endure the conflict of interest in Nick's heart. Maybe Greg was selfish to want so much of the impossible at the sacrifice of so many...collateral victims.

Because that was the core of it - they were all victims of the circumstance created by the bastard they all called brother and son. That was the truth of it.

"Greg." Nick snapped. "Please don't..."

"I'm just not feeling well." Greg couldn't even look at them - any of them. "Excuse me." He said again before he turned to make his escape.

Nick watched his lover walk away and knew Greg was near tears. He could see the raw emotion in his eyes before he bowed his head - almost in shame - to leave. Nick was about to take a stand on Greg's behalf - finally - when they heard a screeching torrent of unrecognizable words coming from the foyer. Nick was the first one to his feet and out the door.

He was horrified to find his boyfriend backed into a corner - his arms were raised to protect his face from the small fists that were pummeling him without restraint. Nick couldn't really make out everything being screamed at Greg, but there was no doubt the assailant wouldn't be disappointed if Greg were to cease to exist as a result of the interaction.

Nick jumped into action - wrapping his arms around the small body and pinning her arms to her sides as he held her in a tight bear-hug from behind. "Stop it MaryEllen!"

TBC