Frederick Gibson was shocked only once in his life; it wasn't his own depravity, or the way he saw other people as objects that bothered him, how could it? It was the when he saw something other than a chess piece, a pawn to be played and manipulated, in another human being. In fact, each and every time he saw his daughter he was afraid, and holding her nearly killed him. Helen was planning to give the baby up for adoption and he was fine with that, giving no more thought to the child than he gave the kittens he'd drowned as a young boy. His fatal mistake had come in picking up the phone when Helen called to tell him the creature had been born, a girl and he needed to come to the hospital to sign away his parental rights. Unfortunately, the open window of the nursery could not be avoided on his way to the social worker's office, he'd intended not to glance over, to look straight ahead as he passed, but then his nose began to itch and he turned his head slightly to meet his hand and saw her.

He knew she was his the moment his eyes locked on hers, most of the newborns were sleeping, a couple whimpering pathetically, but one was awake and quiet, staring intently at the stranger who suddenly stopped like he'd been struck by lightning. That was how the social worker came upon him, staring as if in a trance at the tiny girl.

"I see you've found her, Mr. Gibson. You know, you can take custody of your daughter, her mother has already signed the papers, but if you'd like to step up… Well, it's always nice to see fathers take responsibility."

Oh, yuck, the social worker was an equal opportunity parenting rights activist who'd decided that men were the reason there were so many unwanted children.

"Perhaps, I'd like to see her closer."

"Of course, come with me."

They'd gone through the doors behind the nursery and the social worker quickly explained to the nurse on duty that he was Baby Girl Gibson's father and would like to see her. The nurse settled him into a wooden rocking chair and disappeared, returning moments later with a small bundle of blankets. He hadn't really meant he wanted to hold the thing, just look at it. But, there he was, with two women smiling sappy smiles and a little girl with stars in her eyes in his arms. The women left him alone and he stood with the child- now personified in his eyes, walking to a window that looked out into the night.

"You see those twinkly lights out there? Those are stars, just like the ones you've got in your eyes. I'm a son of a bitch and a bastard and you'd be better off in the bin than with me, but I'm also a selfish fuck and I'm keeping you, little star. Shining, little star… my Stella."

"I've killed people for a lot less than what you're doing right now, you know that?"

They were harsh words, but spoken in a gentle voice. Colic. Stella had colic. Frederick Gibson, who had tortured squirrels and girls alike was beside himself, if Stella had been anyone other than Stella, he would have hurled her against the wall by now in temper. But, as it was, even that thought passing through his mind made him feel sick and prompted him to apologize to the screaming child who somehow extended his normally limited patience to unfathomable depths he normally didn't even reach when occupied with a "project". He needed to get out of the house. He tossed wrapped a blanket around them both and headed out the door. He needed a swim, he decided, and headed for the pool he hadn't visited in two months that had once been where he'd spent a fair part of his day as he schemed and dreamed about the next "project". He managed to change into the spare bathers he kept in a locker while juggling the still hysterical Stella as her wails echoed off the walls of the changing room and made other patrons stare and wince.

Ordinarily he would have dove in and swam hard as he could; this time, he eased into the shallow end feet first, clutching his burden. As he let himself fall into a back float, the horrible, echoing screams faded so quickly, he jumped back up on his feet, afraid he'd drowned the child. Stella screeched at being jerked from the water, he lay back again and observed the immediate silence, chuckling. So simple, they'd both been suffering for nearly two months and all he'd need to do was go swimming?

"Oh, Stella, welcome to your new home away from home."