"You're going to hurt yourself doing that, and then I will be ecstatic."
Testing seemed to be the only thing that could distract GLaDOS from her new 'human' side. Since Chell left, she noticed that she was developing a feeling of… well, loneliness. As much as she hated to admit it, she missed Chell. And the Cooperative Testing initiative were not a sufficient replacement.
The goodbye had gone perfect, as expected. She had finished her speech, and sent Chell on her way. The Turret Opera had performed flawlessly, and Chell had made it to the surface. GLaDOS had sent along Chell's companion cube along with her, a last second decision, but one that GLaDOS would hope to provide some… closure.
The one thing GLaDOS regretted about everything was that she had exposed Blue and Orange to Chell in the first place. Since she had started testing the bots full-time, she had begun to notice some… human qualities that they had picked up. At first it was small things, like an occasional wave to a camera, but then it became something quite concerning.
One day, the two had solved a rather difficult test, the two had embraced. GLaDOS was in outrage.
"What the HELL do you two think you're doing?! That is a human gesture! Why would you do such a thing?!" upon which she promptly exploded the two of them and took all of their Science Collaboration Points away.
This didn't seem to stop them, however, because they embraced yet again after being reassembled the next day. And the next day. This continued for so long that GLaDOS assembled separate testing tracks for the two of them, Orange on one, Blue on the other. But all that did was get them to complain and refuse to solve the test until they were reunited.
"How can you have the nerve to reject testing? You are TESTING ROBOTS. For the COOPERATIVE TESTING INITIATIVE. TESTING IS YOUR ONLY PURPOSE."
And yet they still refused. It seemed they did it not only to comfort themselves, but to spite her. This particular day they had decided to attempt a ridiculous act known to humans as 'piggy back riding', which involved one person getting on the back of another and the person and walking around. Which was ridiculous.
But this time, GLaDOS was prepared. She had prepared a very special instructional video all about what will happen if the two robots continued to do these human actions. Sure, she had exaggerated the details a bit, but the message remained the same. Doing human things was dangerous.
So after that particular test where they had attempted piggy back riding, she reassembled them in one of the many offices in Aperture and turned on a projector, and they got to learn all about what would happen if they continued to do human things. And they were scared.
And soon, GLaDOS began to think she had made them a little too scared, because afterwards, they wouldn't so much as look at each other for testing. The only time they would even speak to each other was when they and to discuss where to place a portal, or to apes a box to one another. At the end of the test, they walked straight to the Disassembly Machine without saying a word.
And this was not good. They were not doing accurate testing, which mean they were not getting accurate test results, which meant they were disrupting Science.
So GLaDOS tried to figure out what she had did wrong. She began to skim the video for anything she could have included that scared them.
And she couldn't seem to figure it out. All she had included was information about human relationships, and then she described how they reproduce, and then she covered why this was a bad idea, what kinds of diseases were transmitted, and what children could do to your life. GLaDOS thought this was all very realistic, and didn't see how this could scare the bots.
So one day, she decided to ask them. One day, the exit of the test didn't lead to a Disassembly Machine, but rather a small room. And GLaDOS asked the bots why they were so afraid of each other.
"The way you are behaving is interfering with Science. If you can't solve these tests by cooperating, you won't be carrying out the purpose of the Cooperative Testing initiative. So tell me. Why are you so scared of each other?"
And the response was… shocking. They immediately began to both talk at once, shouting things about how they just wanted to enjoy themselves while testing, and that they were not her pets, and they were free to solve the tests any way they wanted, and how if they got diseases from simply being friends, they did not want to test at all.
GLaDOS needed some time to think. When they were done talking, she exploded them, and then spend a good few hours in her chamber just thinking.
Why would they want to be like humans? I've told them what humans have done. I designed them with sentience, but not with rebellion in mind. What did I do wrong?
And so when she was done thinking, she reassembled the bots and told them something. She told them that they were free to express their gratitude towards their friendship any way they wanted, but she was only doing this to make sure Science was not interrupted. That is all.
And then things went back to normal. The bots tested as they usually did, with their laughing and waving and silly human gestures, and GLaDOS got upset, but not too upset. Because this was interesting. She had based their code off her own, and if they could learn to find friendship, then did that mean that she could fin-
Whoah. That's enough thinking. The topic was worth some preliminary study, nothing more. She no longer wanted to think about it.
And everything was back to normal.
Or so she thought.
