Kakashi waited until the tanned chuunin noticed he was standing in front of the desk.
"Hello, Kakashi-san. Can I help you?"
Damn, he was so cute!
"Yo." Kakashi grinned and held out his mission report. "Brought it in."
"Late, as usual." Iruka said with a sigh.
Kakashi just grinned.
Iruka unfolded the paper and scanned it, his lips compressing. "Not as bad as your usual attempt, I see. Uh…what is this?" He pointed to a doodle at the top of the page.
"Uhm." Kakashi grinned harder. "Sorry. I was bored, my mind was wandering…."
"But what is it?" Iruka asked in confusion.
"It's doggie-style." Kakashi explained. "See, that's when a man gets on his knees, and another man comes up behind him, kneeling…"
Iruka blushed beet-red. "I KNOW what doggie-style is, Kakashi-san. I just couldn't interpret your DRAWING."
"Oh." Kakashi eyed the doodle. "I'll work on that."
Iruka blushed harder. "I'd appreciate it if you did NOT draw x-rated doodles on your mission reports!" he snarled.
Kakashi let his face fall. "I'm sorry, Iruka. Can I make it up to you? Maybe we can demonstrate the position, so next time I can draw it better."
"Iruka-SENSEI, you perverted…"
"Sensei." Kakashi purred.
He thought that someone should definitely pass out, with that much blood in his head.
"Hey, Kakashi!" Kotetsu called. "Hokage-sama wants to see you in her office. She's got something for you!"
Kakashi grinned. "You know, I tell her and I tell her. I just don't like her that way."
Iruka moaned, cradling his head in his hands.
Kakashi grinned. More than anything else, he loved hearing Iruka moan like that. Gave a man all sorts of nasty, perverted thoughts…
…
Iruka closed the door to the TI office and leaned on it, giving Ibiki a hunted look. "Can I…"
"Hurry." Ibiki said quietly. Iruka gave him a grateful look and ducked into the back office.
Just in time. The door opened and Anko appeared, looking flustered. "Uhm. Hi, Ibiki-san. Have you seen Iruka anywhere?"
"Yes, he's hiding in my office." Ibiki said sarcastically.
Anko flushed. "Sorry." She muttered and left.
After a moment, Iruka opened the door.
"You know." Ibiki said slowly. "If you'd just pick someone, they'd leave you alone."
Iruka sighed and sank into the chair, rubbing his nose. "No, they wouldn't. They'd just hound the poor bastard to death for taking their 'Iru-chan' away."
"Not if you picked someone suitably dangerous." Ibiki said.
Iruka shot him a look, amusement in his chocolate eyes. "Why, Ibiki. Are you making me an offer?"
Ibiki snorted. "If I thought for one minute that anyone would believe it, I might, just to give you a break."
"What do you mean?" Iruka asked softly, his eyebrows rising. "If anyone would believe it…"
"Never mind." Ibiki stood. "Tea?"
"Yes, please." Ibiki nodded and rose to fix the tea. He knew how Iruka liked it. This wasn't the first time that Iruka had sought sanctuary in his office.
"Ibiki…" Iruka said softly.
Ibiki sighed. "Iruka, don't. You're incredibly attractive to me on so many levels beyond your physical appearance, but much like you, I've chosen to eschew emotional ties beyond friendship. For mostly different reasons. The biggest one is because, being who and what I am, I can't afford to care that deeply about anyone. There's no way of knowing who will end up in my interrogation chair tomorrow."
Iruka nodded, his eyes darkening with remembered pain. "I know."
It would break me to break you, he realized suddenly, staring down at the tanned chuunin. If you were in my chair, I'd do my job, but it would kill me.
It bothered Ibiki that he'd let the kid get so deep. He wasn't sure what, if anything, he could do about it.
They drank their tea in companionable silence. When he'd finished, Iruka sighed and sat up reluctantly. "Well, I guess. I should get back. I left Genma and Kotetsu alone up there. No telling what they're getting up to without supervision."
Ibiki shook his head. "Not without Izumo. Kotetsu may be a slut to rival Genma, but he and Izumo are a firm team. Neither one would move without the other."
Iruka chuckled without any real humor. "I know. I've been bracketed often enough."
Ibiki sighed.
