We make our way to Erik's home by a different route than before. He avoids the passage through the mirror, as if to avoid the memory of the last time we were together. I feel his grip on my hand tighten, ensuring I stay close behind him. He seems to think I would dare try to break away in this darkness. But I suppose I still haven't given him many reasons to trust me. I'm going to have to repair all the damage I have done to his heart, his trust, and our… friendship. I want us to be friends again, teacher and student again. But can I repair all that without causing him to renew his declarations of love?
I stumble over something in the dark and Erik whirls around to catch me almost as if by instinct. He holds me close for a moment, and I revel in the feeling. I wonder if he feels the same joy, but suddenly he pushes me away, forcing me to stand on my own. He throws a glare at me, but I see underneath it pain and hesitancy. He grabs my hand again and continues our course in silence. I somehow don't mind the silence. It gives me time to think about what he isn't saying. I'm seeing so much more to him now. Before I was content to simply see him as my Angel to be inspired by, then to view him as a monster and thing to be feared. But now I see the man, someone who has been denied so much in life. And the pain and hesitating I see shows that he wants to believe in me as I used to believe in him. But he's seen too much to think it could come true.
Finally we arrive at his home. Candles are lit all over, and he obviously made a fire ready to warm the cold air of the cavern. Erik takes my hand and helps me out of the boat, and I smile to show my appreciation of it all. But his face, well what I can see of his face, stays passive, almost as unmoving as the cold mask he wears. A slight warmth appears in his eyes though, and I count it as a victory. He escorts me to a chair close by the fire and makes me sit. As I try to catch his gaze, he turns quickly and removes his cape and hat. I realize that the intimacy of being in his home together is probably bringing everything that has occurred between us come rushing back. I need to try and set things right.
"Erik," I speak softly, hoping that he hears only tenderness and friendship in my voice, "Erik, won't you look at me?" He turns back toward me after a few moments, and I want to weep when I see tears in his eyes. "How could I dare look at you, Christine?" he asks tremulously. "Why would you want to look at me?" he says even more softly. I rise from the chair, reaching out my hands as I walk closer to him. "Erik, please, come sit closer to the fire where it's warmer, with me." I try to take hold of his gloved hand, but he moves back a step, like a child afraid of punishment. Thinking of him in that light softens my heart even more, and I reach out again and firmly grasp his hand, pulling him back toward the fireplace and the chair. Instead of sitting in the chair myself as I had before, I make him sit and I kneel, settling myself in a comfortable position close to his feet.
He turns his face toward the fire, refusing still to look at me. I take his hand and begin to remove his gloves. Erik looks down at me sharply, and I realize that I've done something almost impossible: I've surprised the former Opera Ghost. I smile up at him softly and place the gloves on my lap. Then I do something rather surprising to us both. I take one of his hands and bring it up to my face, forcing him to cradle my cheek gently. He stiffens, but almost immediately relaxes and I close my eyes as we both sigh softly. I'm sighing because I feel like at last, we have bridged the gap somewhat. Perhaps he's simply enjoying human contact.
I open my eyes and see him gazing down at me, and it's almost like my Angel has returned to me. I decided that I have to finish righting things. I whisper to him "Oh Erik, can you ever forgive me?" His gaze softens even more and he too whispers "Oh Christine, all you had to do was ask me. I would do anything for you." But he turns away, showing that, although he may forgive me, he still feels hurt and ashamed in front of me. I can't let this continue. I reach up and use the tips of my fingers to touch his jaw and turn his face to me, careful to avoid touching anywhere near the mask. I ask again "Erik, please, will you forgive me? Can you ever trust me again?"
Erik's jaw tightens and he rises from the chair suddenly. He paces in front of the fire, grumbling and huffing to himself. I want to say something, but I hesitate, thinking that I might just make it worse. Then he stops, turning toward me with those golden eyes blazing. I know he's expecting me to cower in fear again, so I sit still, not moving. He moves toward me as if he's daring me to run. But I stand my ground, or sit my ground, I guess. He glowers at me before turning away to go sit and pour out his emotions in his music. As I listen, I realize that the music he's playing has changed. At first, it was the tempestuous organ pounding that woke me the first night. But now it's changed, flowing first to a slow and seductive tone that fills me with desires I had never known to a soft and lyrical song that caresses my heart and soul. I realize this is the same song that he sang to me that fateful night. I realize that this is an opportunity to right things between us, to show how much he means to me.
I stand and move over to stand by the instrument, knowing that he's watching me warily even as he continues playing. Taking a deep breath, I let the notes wash over me, sweeping me up into pure ecstasy like I felt that night as I begin remembering the words. I'm amazed at the purity and emotion in my voice as I sing:
Softly, deftly, music shall caress you
Hear it, feel it secretly possess you
Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind
In this darkness that you know you cannot fight
The darkness of the music of the night
Erik looks at me, watching me intently as I sing. He keeps playing, which lets me know that at least he isn't angry. He's intrigued, curious as to my feelings and thoughts. He brings the song to a finish, and I'm surprised that he joins me in the last lyrics of the song:
You alone can make my song take flight
Help me make the music of the night
Suddenly Erik leaps up from the instrument and grabs my arm. I gasp and look up at him, and I'm shocked to see his eyes gleaming with… affection? Is that what I'm seeing? Is that warmth and love I see in his eyes? As I'm questioning all this, he shocks me by what he does next.
And I'm gonna leave it there for y'all, he he he. Reviews will make the update happen faster ;)
I'm not bribing you for reviews or anything. Neither is Gerry bribing you with promises of brownies. I swear, no bribes. Just promising your rewards : )
