Chapter One: IdiotClan

"With this life, I give you stupidness. Use it stupidly." Curlytoe gasped as she received her seventh life from her sister, Babypaw.

She felt numb, and witless. She temporarily forgot everything for a second. Curlytoe glanced down at the grass. What is that thing…?

Then the brief period of total stupidity was over.

"Oh, Babypaw, I've missed you so much," Curlytoe whispered as Babypaw faded away.

A dark brown and cream cat stepped out of the starry ranks of DunceClan.

"Dankywanky!" Curlytoe cried as she greeted her mother's brother. "You look so much better!"

Dankywanky said nothing but pressed his nose to hers. Curlytoe gasped as this life flooded through her, agony rolling through her body.

"With this life, I give you ignorance, and the consequences that follow afterwards."

Curlytoe nodded, her eyes glistening for a moment as she remembered her stillborn kit who she hadn't even bothered to name. She was somewhere out there in DunceClan, alone and nameless.

Then, finally, a large white and brown tom emerged from the DunceClan cats, his blue eyes glittering.

"Fatstar!" Curlytoe cried, rushing forward to meet her mate.

Fatstar purred. "My love, I have come to give you your last life. A life of foolishness. Use it to your advantage." He pressed his muzzle to hers.

Curlytoe cried out as the life surged through her body. It was by far the most painful. Her nose was disintegrating. Surely, her insides were tearing eachother apart. Spasm after spasm of pure agony overtook her body. When the pain was finally over, she lifter her wet eyes to her mate.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Take care of our kit. Slugkit needs his mother," he whispered.

"Curlystar!"

"Curlystar!"

"Curlystar!"

Curlystar awoke with a gasp. "Uglyface!"

Uglyface looked up. "I'm here," he whispered hoarsely.

Curlystar stood up on the Bonehead Rock. "I need to get back to camp. I want to say goodbye to Fatstar one last time," she mewed.

Uglyface rose stiffly. "Okay," he muttered.

Back at camp...

"Goodbye, Fatstar," Curlystar whispered. She pressed her muzzle to her mate's cold flank one last time.

The elders, Twigwig, Buttbrain, and Blueeyes, carried Fatstar away.

"Curlystar."

Curlystar looked around, her ears pricked. "Yes, Eggmeat?"

Eggmeat dipped her head. "I think that my kits are ready to be apprenticed," she mewed. "Breathingkit and Stinkykit are both six moons old."

Curlystar nodded. "That may be just what we need. Some good news."

IdiotClan was in bad shape. They lost the battle with DumbClan, and had to forfeit a large portion of their territory. Fatstar was the only cat who died, thank goodness, but IdiotClan was still short of warriors, and leaf-bare was just around the bend.

Curlystar bounded up onto the Idiot Ledge. "Let all cats idiotic enough to walk around backwards in circles join under the Idiot Ledge for a Clan meeting!" she called.

Mushroomposh and Annoyingbrain looked up from sharing tounges and padded over to the Idiot Ledge. Largeflank and Beebutt padded out of the warrior's den. Oldfeces stood at the entrance of the nursery with her four kits as the rest of the Clan filed into the center of camp.

"Today, we will be appointing some apprentices!" Curlystar yowled. "Breathingkit, come forward!"

Breathingkit padded forward, her small head held high in pride.

"Breathingkit, do you promise to uphold the Code of the Dunces and defend it with your life?"

"I do!" Breathingkit squeaked.

"Then from this day forward, you will be known as Breathingpaw! Your mentor will be Peepuddle!" Curlystar called.

Breathingpaw padded forward, her eyes glittering with excitement as she touches noses with her mentor.

"Stinkykit, come here!"

Stinkykit padded forwards.

"Stinkykit, do you promise to uphold the Code of the Dunces and defend it with your life?" Curlystar yowled. She knew that Stinkykit was troublesome and she hoped that he would sincerely mean the promise that he was about to make.

He shrugged. "Sure."

Curlystar frose. Sure? What does me mean by that?

Then he cleared his throat. "I do."

"Then from this day forward, you will be known as Stinkypaw! Your mentor will be Bananabrain!"

Stinkypaw strutted forwards to touch noses with Bananabrain. "You're going to be a great warrior, Stinkypaw." Bananabrain murmured.