Guilts and regrets

"Moonpaw and Willowpaw, don't you two think that you have hunting to do instead of sitting here and disturbing other?" a powerful, deep voice asked, scaring the lights out of the two young apprentices.

"Em.. We were just about to leave, Bramblestar." Moonpaw said, while giving signals to her sister to leave now. However, it seem that her sister did not even bother to look at her.

"We are doing our apprentice duties. We were bring fresh kill for Hollyleaf. Is this not doing our job?" Willowpaw challenged the great leader of Thunderclan, Bramblestar, who is her father.

"Well, that is doing your job. But I don't see you sitting and chit-chatting a job for the apprentice, isn't it?" Bramblestar said in as a matter of fact tone. He could see Moonpaw was desperately trying to stop Willowpaw from argueing back. He still could not understand. One of his daughter is such an obdient girl yet the other is such a rebellious, bold one. How could two sisters be so different?

"Well?" Bramblestar waited for an answer. He knew this daughter of his would keep argueing with him until he could prove her wrong. Or else she would get it her way.

Willowpaw kept silent. She knew that this time was her fault. Great!

"If there is nothing else for you to do in the nursery, you two could now go back to hunt with your mentor." Another voice spoke out. It was Bramblestar's mate and the two apprentice's mother, Squrrielflight.

"Yes." Moonpaw said while Willowpaw just walk of the nursery unwillingly.

"Man. Sometimes, I wonder if Willowpaw just take after you." Bramblestar said half jokingly.

"What? I think she more like you." Squrrielflight said, jokingly.

"Anyway, how are you, Hollyleaf? Are these your kits?" Squrrielflight, then took a step forward to have a closer look of the one day old kits.

"Ya. Never knew a horrible person like me could be a mother." The black she- cat's eyes were full of sorrow.

"Don't say that!" Squrrielflight scolded. "You will be a splendid mother. I am sure of it."

"Thank you… and sorry." Hollyleaf's tone was full with guilt. She knew that Squrrielflight was just trying to protect her own sister, Leafpool. And beside, she and Bramblestar had never ill-treated them, though she, Jayfeather and Lionblaze was not their real kits. Yet.. yet she told everyone the secret and almost damaging their relationship and Leafpool, Squrrielflight's beloved sister had to be force to give up her position as the medicine cat and ran away.

"Don't be silly. Let the past be the past. You have turn over over a new leaf. That is what that matter."Bramblestar said while storking Hollyleaf with his tail, lovingly…like a father will be.

"No matter what you do, you still be our beloved kit. You and your two brothers." Squrrielflight said, acting like a mother. Even after what that happen, Squrrielflight and Bramblestar still continue to treat them like their own kit, even after they had four of their own kits.

"Ok then. We will let you rest now. I hope that two daughters of my did not disturb you." Bramblestar said while Hollyleaf chuckle. With that, the two cats went out of the nursery.

Night soon came, engulfing the whole sky into darkness. All the kits in the nursery had been in a deep slumber already.

"How have you been coming along with the kits?" Sorreltail asked. She was the most experience queen in the nursery now. One of her daughter, Honeyfern, from her first litter was here in the nursery. Strange much?

"Yeah. Though it's kinda hard not able to move a lot, but I just it's ok."Hollyleaf said.

"Well, it was kinda hard for me too but after a while,you will get used to it." Blossompelt chirped in.

"Yeah. As long as you think that this is good for the kits, you will be able to get through it." Honeyfern said. She had became a very overprotective mother since she lost one of her kits, Duskkit, soon after it was born.

"Well, it's going to be moonhigh soon. I guess all of you are tired. Let go and sleep now." Sorreltail said as she took a look outside the nursery.

Just when the bright moon was hanging high in the dark sky, footsteps approching the nursery woke Hollyleaf up.

"Hollyleaf, Hollyleaf, are you awake?" A voice whispered. It was her mate.

"Yeah. Come in, Frostclaw."Hollyleaf said. Though she may be angry at him for waking her up in the middle of the night, but her joy of meeting her beloved overpowered her angryness.

"Were you asleep?"Frostclaw, afraid that he would woke her up. He had been really worried for his mate since after his kits was born. He was not even ready to have kits but that does not mean he did not want them. He was so happy when he heard that he was going to be a father. He want to be a great father to the kits and he will be.

"No."Hollyleaf lied. She knew if she said she was, Frostclaw would be worried and leave the nursery to let her continue to sleep.

"Well, how are the kits?" Frostclaw asked as his tail warp around the she-cat and their kits, protectively.

"They are fine."Hollyleaf said and she paused for a while. Frostclaw look at her, wondering why she stopped.

"I hope Leafpool and Crowfeather were here to see their grandchildren." Hollyleaf whispered, solemly yet with traces of sorrow and guilt.

"I am sure they would be happy to know that you have five healthy kits." Frostclaw ensured Hollyleaf. He knew that even after many moons, Hollyleaf still can't abandon the guilt inside her.

"You think?" Hollyleaf question doubtfully. After all, it was her, who made her birth mother lose everything she had.

"Yes. I am sure and the both of them would be living somewhere, happily."Frostclaw console her and gave her an affectionate lick by the ear.

"Well, it's getting late. I will leave now. Make sure you sleep tight and don't think too much."Frostclaw said.

"I will and if next time, you just have gone for night patrol, you don't have to come here. You will be very tired." Hollyleaf said, worried that it might affect her mate's health.

"No can do. Though I may not have time to see you in the morning or afternoon, I would still visited you at night. I want to see you every night." Frostclaw look into the emerald eyes, lovingly.

"Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight." Hollyleaf said gently, giving her mate a lick.