Chapter 3: The Life of the Party
"OMG! Billy, you're back!" Lyn laughed as she jumped into his arms.
Eliwood and Hector watched in horror as they began to engage in that mating ritual known as kissing, hugging and then doing it right in front of the castle, for the entire Legion to see.
"Erm, let's not bother them..." Eliwood mumbled. The rescue of Lyn's grandfather happened in record time. It only took twelve minutes for Serra to run up to the castle gates and attempt to chat with the commander, who screamed and wailed and declared a surrender. This commander happened to be Lyn's granduncle, and after he surrendered Kent executed him on the spot, because it was his duty.
Eliwood turned to Hector, who continued to stare at Lyn and Billy with drool from his mouth. Eliwood could have sworn he was mumbling: "Never saw one that big before..."
Eliwood quickly slammed his sword sheath on the back of Hector's head, and Hector immediately regained consciousness. "Eliwood! That's the first manly thing you've done in ages! We should celebrate your Coming of Manliness!"
"Oh, Elmine no, Hector. We have to get to Port Badon and find my father, remember?"
"Oh, right. We'll party on the ship, then."
"Very well..."
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So the party arrived at Port Badon, and Captain Fargus yelled at them: "Ahoy, mates! Beat up me mates and I'll give ye passage to the isle of Valor." (1.)
"Ok, then, Billy, plan for us and stuff and help us take out these pirates... And then we'll have a wild ride later today." Lyn giggled.
"Erm, right, Billy. Plan for us and stuff." Eliwood groaned.
"Alright then, people. Dorcas, go west. Barte, support him. Sain, go north. Kent, go in the southernly direction with Marcus. And, erm, who are you?" Billy asked the man whom Rebecca was dragging out of a building.
The man had a monocle, and as he adjusted it, he stammered. "I'm... I'm Canas, you see, and I thought that your group of warriors seemed rather interesting, so I decided to join, because I am easily fascinated by amazing occurrences such as a group of warriors such as yourselves entering a shabby, almost deserted, really, port like this. People rarely visit such ports and rarely do I see an interesting bunch such as yourself, so I... I wish to join you in the hope of gaining knowledge. After all, as I'm sure you know, knowledge is power..." Canas began to drone on, before Billy stopped him.
"Erm, right, so what can you do?"
"I am a shaman, you see... I specialize in elder magic, which is quite fascinating in itself. I see you have a mage in your party." Canas stopped his mumbling for a minute to point at Erk. "My intuition tells me that he is of the anima school of magic. A fine form of magic, I must say, but elder magic is powerful against anima magic. Of course, shamans and druids should avoid priests and bishops, for they have holy magic that is strangely effective against elder magic, as it is fueled by the power of darkness and shadow, but anima magic is stronger than holy magic in that regard, so as long as I work with you, you can help take out those who use similar powers as your mage. Shamans who are willing to travel like a group similar to yours are rather uncommon, I must say, so I believe that I might serve as a critical asset to your group. Besides, I love studying and thus I might be able to help you with knowledge. After all, knowledge is power and..."
Billy couldn't take it anymore. "Right, right Canas. Go with Sain and take out enemy units from the north."
"Certainly. Though I dislike violence, I will do what you say because you seem to be the tactician in this band. Is that a difficult task? It seems quite challenging when one examines your profession..."
"Gah, just go!" Billy yelled, forcing Canas to cringe back and follow Sain.
Finally, Marcus and Kent arrived in front of Fargus, who laughed and said: "Okay, mates, go help our guests into the ship."
Sain and Will moaned. "We're badly wounded and you'll just ignore our pains?"
"Yes." Billy nodded. "Because we're lacking in time."
"Time is of the essence, I'm sure. You see, if you waste time..." Canas was cut off by Erk, who spoke loudly: "You'll be like Canas here. Billy's right, let's get moving."
"Oh, Erky, finally taking the initiative." Serra giggled.
"Erk, it's quite brave for you to tell the others what to do." Priscilla beamed.
"Erk, why are you taking my job? Get back into position!" Billy snarled.
"Yes, Billy..." Erk sighed.
And our heroes got on the ship...
And partied for the rest of the evening...
"Eliwood's a man!" Hector laughed, a bottle of beer in his hand.
"A strong and smart man!" Florina moaned, grabbing on Eliwood's chest armor.
Eliwood laughed like a drunkard, which wasn't too surprising because he was one. "Hic, yeah! Hic, Florina, let's go rest for the night." Eliwood smiled.
Florina giggled and the two retired below decks.
"Go Florina!" Rebecca laughed as Will was tickling her.
"I must say... This beer is quite strong... I've never had beer like this before..."
"Oh, fair Canas, you are truly the master of bullshit!"
"Why, thank you, Sain... You are very kind and polite..."
And Sain suddenly grabbed Canas and pulled him into a kiss, and everyone cheered.
And Lyn could be heard moaning in the distance, and Fargus threw his rum bottle into the air: "Party, everyone!"
Marcus leapt onto a table with his chain mail and yelled: "Long live Beer!"
"Long Live Beer!" They all agreed.
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1. I can't write in Pirate, so I won't even try. Sorry, folks.
