A/N: Okay, if any of you noticed, the first chapter was previously titled "Epilogue". My readers are much smarter than I am, because even though I reread it about three times, they noticed that something was amiss. (For some reason that just didn't register...) Special thanks to the happiest emo on earth and funfun980. Without them I would seem even stupider. THANKS!

--After--Class--

'Why is it out of all the classes the dobe had to take, he HAD to take the one on the other side of the campus from MY classroom?' Sasuke 'ScrewYouchiha' grumbled to himself and adjusted his messenger bag's strap as he wandered the halls of the schools art wing in search of a certain ramen-loving idiot. He searched high. He searched low. He even looked in all the stalls in the bathroom, but all he found was a floater in the handicapped stall and a very lonely young gentleman and his sympathetic friend, 'Mr. Fistie' in the first stall on the left. (1) Sasuke was quickly getting fed up with his searching. Classes were over twenty minutes ago, yet his sunny friend was nowhere to be found. Needless to say, Sasuke has a short temper and no patience whatsoever. This plus lack of dobe, resulted in many angers and much frustration. Basically he was pissed.

'FINE. If he's not here and he's not outside, maybe he's still in the classroom.' Sasuke sure as hell hoped so.

The trek to room Delta67 Sugarcakes…Just kidding; Room 409A, was long, treacherous, and filled with fangirls. After matrixing his way out of many a glomp attempt and even a few marriage proposals, he managed to find the room that held Naruto's last class of the day. He turned the shining metal knob and pushed open the door. Quickly scanning the room, Sasuke noticed a casually dressed professor with impressively voluminous silver hair and an unnecessary face mask setting up easels in the center of the room. Making a mental note to find out what brand of hair products the man used later, Sasuke resumed his quest for the idiot of all idiots. He spotted a handsome, pale red-haired man with way too much eyeliner wiping excess paint off of his palette, and a young woman…oh shit, man with long blonde hair piled into a ponytail on top of his head and an emo flip cleaning up some clay residue with an old rag. Unfortunately for Sasuke, this was the only blonde in the room and it wasn't the one that made his stomach do flip flops and his heart beat fast enough to rival a drum line.

Just as the raven was turning to leave, he heard a "Ne, Sasuke!" coming from the center of the room. Shifting his head so that he could see, Sasuke spotted Naruto waving at him from a crouching position behind some art tables.

He rigidly walked over and glared down at his stooping friend. "The hell, usuratonkachi? Where you actually hiding from me? How fucking old are you?"

Naruto scowled and stood, brushing his pants off in the process. "Bastard, I dropped my pencil." He held up a shiny, freshly sharpened 2B as proof.

Shaking his head in disbelief, his companion darkly muttered, "I've been searching for you for half an hour, and all this time you've been searching for a missing pencil?" He couldn't hold back the annoyance in his voice, not that he wanted to, and raised his head to glare at his slightly shorter friend. "Stupid dobe."

"I didn't spend the whole time looking for my pencil…I was finishing my sketch!" Naruto gestured to an almost completed drawing of a busty nude woman in an obscenely provocative position. Sasuke merely stared at it in disbelief. "That's what you've been doing? Drawing porn for three and a half hours?" Sasuke began seething, from rage and perhaps a smidgen of jealousy. Quickly he deflated and let out a deep sigh. "And to think, I braved a shit lump and a wanker for you…"

Naruto fought back his obvious questions and defended his work. "Well…It's not like I'd choose this myself. Kakashi-sensei suggested that we go with a simple figure drawing as a warm up session and insisted that a nude woman would be best." At Sasuke's look of disbelief, Naruto quickly argued, "It's true! He kept making suggestions like, 'Make her breasts bigger,' and 'It would be more visually stimulating if you put her in a position where sensuality and decency were skewed.' Shit like that. It was a pretty uncomfortable lesson."

Sasuke sent a disapproving glance to the masked teacher in the corner. Seemingly knowing that they were discussing him, he turned around and gave a lecherous grin (with his right eye, oddly enough) and resumed his work. "Still, he's better than my teacher," Sasuke began, not taking his eyes off the deviant in the mask. "He turned out to be some kind of gay rapist or something…He kept asking for my phone number, insisting it would be more helpful to me if he could 'call me at any needed time to help me with my studies" or some B.S."

Naruto let out a low whistle. "Unsettling! Sasuke is neither safe from man nor bitch!"

"What a lovely way of putting it…Anyway, next time you're going to be late, why don't you tell me beforehand?"

The blonde scratched an itch on the top of his head and resumed putting away his pencils. "Well, I would if I knew. Why couldn't you just call me or something?"

Sasuke stared blankly ahead. "I would have, but I've misplaced my phone."

Naruto pulled his orange cell phone out of his pocket and pressed 1 to initiate the speed dial sequence he had rigged Sasuke's number to on his phone. "Well, let's see if it's around here, then." After several seconds of nothingness, a small jingle was heard coming from Sasuke's messenger bag.

"Coin-operated boy, sitting on the shelf, he is just a toy. But I turn him on, and he comes to life. Automatic joy. That is why I want a coin-operated boy."

There was a moment of silence filled only by more of the seemingly happy tune. That moment was quickly ruined by the tittering of a certain hyperactive doofus. "You're shitting me…That's your ringtone?" His titters soon escalated into full on cackles. "What…haha…What the FUCK? HAHAHAHA! So much for being a cold, unfeeling bastard!"

Sasuke fumed silently, his face turning a soft shade of pink. "That's quite enough of that." He pouted and began rooting through his shoulder sack in search of his phone and its embarrassing ringtone. (2)

"Coin-operated boy. He may not be real, experienced with girls, but I know he feels, like a boy should feel. Isn't that the point why I want a…"

"Aha!" Sasuke cried out in triumph (well, more like muttered quietly in a pleased tone) as he held his offending cell phone in his right hand. He paused however when the music began to slow and his favorite part began to play.

"Coin-operated boy…With his pretty coin-operated voice, saying that he loves me, that he's thinking of me. Straight and to the point. That is why I want a coin-operated…CLICK."

Still slightly red, Sasuke switched off his phone and shoved it into his pocket. "Let's just go…" he grumbled, already walking away.

"Sasuke…"

Sasuke didn't stop. He kept charging out the door of the art room, not even bothering to close it on his way out.

Naruto stood in the center of the room dazedly. 'What just happened?' he wondered, confused as to what had set the boy off. Just as soon as these thoughts had crossed his mind, Sasuke came charging back into the room.

"Sasuke! I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd get offended when I made fun of your ringtone! It's just such a nice little tune I never thought someone like you…"

Ignoring the blonde, Sasuke trudged past him and straight up to the silver haired art professor in the corner. He stared the taller man down for several tense moments, then quietly asked, "What kind of hair products do you use?"

--What--The--Shit?--

(1) For those of you that don't get me, this is a masturbation joke.

(2) Also, the song was supposed to match Sasuke's feelings towards Naruto. Ya know, that he never does what he wants and ends up hurting him in his unpredictability, so Sasuke wants a boy that he can please him and love him without jerking him around. (Yes, I can be deep.) This song was just buzzing in my head at the time, so I decided to include it.

If anyone knows the band that sings this song, (lovely band, it is) then the first person to tell me via review gets to decide the fate of the next chapter! :O I know what you're thinking and yes. This IS all part of a sinister plot to make you review. Well, in my defense, I update fast and like reviews so XP.