Tumblr prompt from AquaJasmine23:

WDYS verse- I want to (and am scared to) see Rumpel in the aftermath of (however temporarily) losing Belle in the EF. I can see him sitting in their room clutching something that smells like her (pillow, clothing, something) to his chest and trying not to cry and also desperately hoping and thinking himself stupid for it because while he can't bring himself to believe that she might be dead he also kinda hates himself for having that much hope. Because, ya know, he's an angsty woobie, and why not get used to the angst now? Oh, right, and also why he misses her. Why it isn't just terror that she might be hurt, or bc he loves her. Simple things, like how she'd always spend an hour or so drinking tea with him in the afternoon or snuggling on a sofa somewhere or something. Seeing as this is post-marriage (and post-kidnapping) it could be anything. Have fun!

What is it with you and angst? Are you trying to make me cry at three in the morning? Ok, you asked for it!

He Misses Her

I see you, Rumpel. I see your heart and there's not a single part of you I don't love…

He closed his eyes, no longer the warm amber so filled with love that she would spend hours gazing into, but a deep soulless black which so roiled with rage and despair many would turn away in fear, praying to escape his notice. The Dark Castle was no longer a place of warmth and comfort, but had reverted to the cold, uninviting chasm of magic and loneliness it had been before his precious Belle had come to stay. No longer were there cheery fires and afternoon tea. No longer was Rumpelstiltskin able to indulge in her softly spoken voice as she would read by the hearth. No longer could he even look upon a ripe peach without his chest seizing in pain.

His light, his hope…gone.

His gaze took in the cold marble floor, the dusty pillars and the panoramic view from the balcony with its beauty and grace. It was more pain, more anguish for his tortured soul, for all he could see was his beauty, standing proudly before him in a dress of white, his own gold dusting her skin as she tearfully spoke her vows.

Why did you stay?

Because I love you, Rumpelstiltskin.

A whimper sounded low in his throat before he could quell it, and he gnashed his teeth together in the dark and silent ballroom. How was he supposed to go on without her? Now that he had tasted happiness on his tongue, had felt her love flow into his very soul? Every room in his home taunted him with her memory, mocked him with her presence. He could hear her laughter, and see her sweet smiles.

Cobbler?

I know it's your favorite, darling, and the peaches were ripe.

Her scent still lingered in the castle…peaches, roses…never quite strong enough to mask her own sweet and spicy aroma. It was sweeter than the most fragrant bloom and more precious than gold. He couldn't sleep in his bed without the nightmares there to plague him. His Belle was no longer there to wrap herself around him and chase them away. He couldn't spin in the Great Hall without her comforting presence there on the settee. No longer could he look up from his wheel and catch her smile as she read of the next great adventure, or see her tears as the prince woke his true love from an enchanted sleep. And God forbid should he step foot in her library. Long hours of reading together, memories of making love on her favorite chaise, whispered words of devotion falling so earnestly from her sweet lips…gone. Now there was only loss and grief and pain.

Forty one days…had it really only been so short a time? It felt more like a century. A hundred years of agony, of pain, of the deepest despair.

I will love you until my dying breath, and I promise you every day of forever.

Her vows on their wedding day. Her vow! Lies!

The pillar to his right cracked with a thunderous peal as his magic crackled at his fingertips. What did he care if the castle crumbled to dust around him? He no longer had his love to share it with. It was no longer a home, but just a museum to house his many trinkets. He reeled the beast back with great effort.

Not her fault, not her fault, not her fault. It repeated in a litany in his mind as a tear slowly forced its way past his lids.

Where could she be?

You have more courage than you think, my love.

He would brave anything for her. Yet how could he slay her dragons if he couldn't find the beast's lair? He moved farther into the cavernous room, the painted ceiling with its cherubs a mere shadow in the moonlight filtering in through the french doors. If he could see their angelic faces, surely they would mock him too. He could almost hear their whispers…

You've failed her. She loved you and you failed her.

A ragged sob tore from his throat as his knees gave out from beneath him. "I'm so sorry, my love."

Why couldn't he find her? He'd search the realm a hundred times over and found no trace of her. Why? He rocked back and forth as he wrapped his arms about his knees. "Where are you, Belle?"

I'm here, darling. I love you.

A whisper of wind, the melodic tones of her voice. If he concentrated hard enough, it almost felt as if she were whispering in his ear. He buried his face against his knees and sobbed. He cried out his anguish there in the same room he'd promised to love her forever. He sobbed for her strength, her light, her blind faith in him that he could be more than his curse. He wailed for her love, her heart, her beauty. He poured out his never ending pain for the loss of her touch, her smile, her kiss. "I miss you, my darling Belle. I willfind you."

Gods, how he misses her…