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Hurt

Chapter 3

The days have flown by lately and it has now been a week since Charlie's death. As I stand here, surrounded by our family and friends, I can't help but to think of how I am at fault for all of this. If we hadn't gotten into that fight, he would still be here with us.

So as the rain falls down from up above, and I look at the mourning faces of my fathers loved ones, it is clear to see just how loved he was. Tears fall from every set of eyes that beholds his desending coffin, mine included. A quiet sob escapes my lips as I think about the things he will never get to see me do. The events in my life that he will miss out on. My wedding day, my college graduation, the birth of my first child, my first day of college, and so many others.

I cover my mouth as another sob escapes and feel a warm hand grab hold of my other one. I look to my left to see Edward standing with a somber look on his face. As I look to my right, I see my mother, tear running along her rosey cheeks. She's not sobbing, but it is very clear that she is in just as much pain as I am in, and that she is holding it in for my sake.

"Would anyone like to say a few words on behalf of this beloved man?" the minister asks.

I step forward towards the podium. "I prepared a song that I would like to sing, on behalf of my father." I say before I start. I motion to Alice to begin the music.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today, ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

My voice begins to crack.

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh

Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you.

As I finish, I step away from the podium, I fall to my knees sobbing. I begin crying so hard, I can barely breath. I hear several people around me begin to sob as well. Just then, I feel two warm hands begin to pull me up off the ground. I stand and turn, now sobbing into his chest.

An hour passes and we are now inside. My crying has subsided and I'm now almost completely numb. The wake for Charlie is going on and while most stayed in respect for him, other thought of it to be too painful to deal with. So here I sit, surrounded by Alice, Emmet, and Edward. Edward is to my right, and Alice to my left while Emmet sits almost directly in front of me. Edward has his arm around my shoulder and is gently rubbing it as Alice has my hand in hers. Emmet plays with my other hand until we all hear a familiar voice call my name.

"Bella!" Rosalie calls.

I immediately look up to see her making her way across the room. I'm up in half a seccond and we are embracing. I find myself sobbing as she gently strokes my back. We eventually seperate and as she greets the others, I stand by myself watching. Edward, not even bothering to greet Rosalie, is at my side in an instant.

"You want to go for a walk?" he asks quietly. "Get away from this for a little bit?"

I look him in the eyes, greatful for this idea. "Yeah, I do thanks."

Me and Edward leave the building and begin to walk around in the rain. Neither of us have said anything in a while, so I deceide to begin.

"Edward, look. I just want to thank you so, so much for everything. You've been there for my throughout this entier thing. I mean, Alice and Emmet have too but you constantly made sure I was okay. You never let me feel like I was alone in this. If I ever began to fall to pieces you have been there to pick them up and put me back together. I've never had somebody protect and take care of me the way you have over these last few days. I really can't thank you enough for all you've done for me." As I finish, tears begin to brim at my eyes,spilling over and my voice begins to crack.

He stops and turns to me, taking my hand in his and holding it against his chest. "My sweet Bella, you never have to thank me. I do all this because I care about you, love." He wipes my tears away with his free hand,lingering on my cheek as he speaks, "I wish I could take away all the pain and suffering that you have had to go through and make it all go away. It kills me to see you in so much pain. I would give you the world if I thought it would make you feel better, but I know that nothing can take away the hurt that comes with losing a parent. But just know that I'm here for you, Isabella. Forever and always."

I'm speachless, as every word he just said has taken my breath away.

"Bella?" he asks.

"Oh yeah? Oh, I'm sorry I just..That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm sort of at a loss for words."

"It's perfectly fine, love" he says with a dazzling smile. It is at this very moment that I'm realizing it. I'm falling in love with Edward Cullen. I always sort of known something like this would happen, just not with Edward, and definately not at Charlie's funeral. Tears begin to slowly make their way back down my cheeks, as Edward slowly wipes them away. We walk back to the building hand in hand, awaiting the stares we are sure to get as we enter.