Disclaimer: Usual thing… I don't own them, but they'rewillingly stayingin my closet…

Jack: Save us, please…

Moi: Quiet you!

Jack: Meep… Can I have more rum than?

Moi: Later…

A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates. Had an issue with my hard drive (External, where I keep the chapters) I happened to lose my 2.0 USB cord… Bought another one today.

Chapter 3: Oh Me Oh My!

Jack P.O.V.

Jack Sparrow smirked slightly and motioned for the bar maid walking past to take the empty mugs. He stood and began walking quickly away with nigh a word to the men sitting at the table staring at his back.

Gibbs was the first to fully collect his senses and rushed after Jack, the others soon following. By the time they had caught up to the tall pirate he was already half way to the docks.

"Prey tell, Captain, why we just hired on a woman to cook for us," Gibbs hands flailed around his head in emphasis as he said this, "when we 'ave perfectly capable seaworthy men to do it? Anna Maria was enough bad luck, don't ye say?" He was looking around at the other men whom were nodding in short agreement when an apple connected sharply with his head.

"What the…?" Jack turned around at Gibbs talking and smiled when he saw Anna Maria herself walk purposely towards them.

"I be a better man than anyone of ye dogs and a damn fine pirate to. If ye 'ave a problem with that ye can discuss it with me sword and dagger!" She glared at every man and regarded Jack with narrowed eyes, though he could see a glimmer of amusement there. All the other men saw was sheer malice.

Jack swayed on spot while Gibb's fell over apologies, still waving his hands about. He was cut off by Jack's voice.

"Mate, that hand waving ye be doing, ye shouldn't be doing. Someone who may not be doing what they should be doing may see ye doing it." As the crew stared on in confusion, Jack emphasized his words with hand gestures almost identical to Gibbs own.

Jack swung in the direction of Anna Maria and smiled at her charmingly, gold teeth standing out against his tanned face.

"As for you, lass, whether ye be man, woman or eunuch, like Will Turner for example, ye are a part of me crew and will be treated the same as all the other men if ye wish it, therefore, ye wish ye were man and we talk of men as man talk of man. So there was nothing of ill will said, savy?"

Everyone, including Anna Maria, looked even more fitly confused as Jack finished speaking and glanced at each other for moments after their captain began to walk away towards the docks once more, but they began to chase him when he called back,

"As for the lass… well she be my concern!"

Paige P.O.V.

After giving Jack Sparrow, Captain Jack Sparrow, her reply she walked quickly towards the bar chanting in her head with the rhythm of her feet hitting the hard floor, "Don't run, don't run." As soon as she got behind the bar she sunk to the ground.

"As nice as it is to see you level with my crotch, are you going to tell me what happened to just sit in my way all day?" Paul glanced down at her darkly before refocusing on the drinks he was pouring over her. A stack of mugs were set onto the counter above her head and Paige pulled her knees to her chest and squealed into the folds of her dress. Once the filled drinks were taken away by the waiting Bar maid, Paul squatted down before Paige and pushed on her until she was looking at him.

"Well? What'd you say? Did you tell the scallywag to find himself another wench? Or... Nah, you wouldn't have done that. You never would've agreed to such an idea." At the expression on the girls face in front of him, Paul pulled back slightly and frowned darkly, "You agreed?"

"Um… If I say no now, would be able to be convinced to believe me?" She stared up at him, the doubt and regret slowly beginning to shine in her eyes as it took root in her mind.

"You did than… Well what are you going to do? What am I going to do one bar maid less, one that can and will actually stand up for herself with out being on her back first." He shook his head as he glanced across the tavern towards the bar maid that had taken Paige's place quickly after she had began talking to Jack. The girl's blonde hair was bunched into the fist of some young pirate and she was being kissed brutally on the mouth and neck. Instead of jumping to her help, Paul watched as pirates and patrons alike jeered and cheered the couple on.

"Why is it always stupid girl's." Paul muttered as he turned his back to the scene and got on the floor next to Paige. The sentence was more of a statement than a question and Paige just slowly nodded, understanding in a way where Paul was coming from.

"They're not so bad. It's just difficult for them to think about anything but the way to their next meal and how hard they're going to have to work for it." Paige got to her knees and looked at the girl, the girls eyes fairly lit up the room when the man slipped a few shillings into the palm of her hand and whispered into her ear.

"What's going on?" Paul whispered close to Paige's ear.

"Do you want to know what it looks like, my best assumption of it or the furthest thing from the truth?" Paige glanced down at Paul before beginning to rummage around the bar for a bottle of something to drink.

"Tell me all three and I'll pick which ever I prefer the best," He stared at Paige as she grabbed an unopened bottle and uncorked the top. "also, because this is – from the looks of things today – the last time that you'll be working here for a while I won't make you pay for that there bottle of rum."

Paige raised the bottle to him with a slightly arched eyebrow and took a long swig from the bottle before turning her body around and falling heavily onto her bottom again with a small burp.

"What it looks like and my assumption of it is the same. She's being pre paid for her services later," Paige stared at Paul and moved her eyebrows up and down suggestively while licking her lips. Paul squirmed slightly while he watched this but forced himself to keep no expression on his face, pretending to act thoughtful of which he would choose from the options presented to him. "Now, for the one we both know isn't true. He was tipping her for her serving skills."

Paul snorted and grabbed the now half full bottle away from Paige.

"As long as it's after we're done work for the evening she can have all the joy of serving what ever man just got dirtier." He cringed at the thought and stared at Paige in mock horror.

"Indeed. If he wakes up with a sore groin that itches like bristles in midsummer," Paige bent over her knees chuckling heartily and smiled up at Paul, who smiled back for a moment but his eyebrows quickly creased into a frown.

"You need to be going. You should be packing for a long sea voyage or something similar." Paul stood up and held out his hand to help Paige to do the same. She glared at his hand and refused to take it, staying seated where she was.

"Throw me to the dungeons why don't you?" She grimaced before grabbing his hand finally and helping him to haul her to her feet. She put her hands onto the counter and lifted herself up to sit on the edge.

"So, what do you think? Am I about to get myself raped and beaten on a pirate ship?" Her facial expression which was jovial and gay betrayed the panic in her eyes.

"I sure don't know how to answer that. I know that if anything happens to you his boat will meet the bottom of the sea personally." Pauls hands were rested on Paige's shoulders and he gently pushed her towards the open tavern door.

"I know that you'd avenge me against The Black Pearl. Well, maybe if you found some people crazy enough to attempt it, and who thought they were fact enough to catch it." She smiled and began to walk away from her dear friend and confidant.

"Paige, my girl, could you do me one favor?" Paul had to yell over the usual roar of voices in the crowded space.

"What?" Paige stared back at Paul who smiled mischievously at her and winked.

"Don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out!"

Paige grabbed the closest thing to her and threw it at Paul. It just so happened to be a table leg that was never retrieved and when she threw it, it flew end over end. When it reached not more then a foot away from Paul he moved quickly to the side before gasping in utter shock when the leg smashed into some of the bottles of the finest rum and brandy in the tavern.

"Oh shit… Bye! See you when I'm in port again." Paige backed towards the door and began to run backwards when Paul glared up at her.

"Paige!" Paul's voice was a mere whisper to the sound of Paige's shoes hitting the pavement as she ran to pack for her new life.

Jack's P.O.V.

"Now, Captain, I admit to bein' a wee bit nervous 'bout this lass coming aboard, but the wait is putting ants into the men's britches if ye knew what I be getting at." Gibb's seemed to share the sentiment of the crew for he kept glancing at the shore, at Tortuga and at Lady Ameth's. a whore house that could easily be seen from sea.

"Soon she will come. Hopefully. She'll come because there is no better thing for her to do." Jack glanced at Gibbs and sighed heavily. "We'll leave here if the girl isn't here by the time I start to skitter also. So, soon." No sooner than the words at breezed through his mouth did a flash of red catch his eye on land.

"I believe, Mr. Gibb's, that there would be our newest addition there." Jack grinned widely and began walking towards the helm, preparing to look godly, or what he thought and hoped was godly, in preparation for her arrival.

Gibb's ran down the ship, shouting orders to what men were close by and simply telling others that they would be leaving port soon and to prepare quickly. Most men, although hearing Gibb's clearly, simply stood at the railing and watched as the red headed girl walked towards them dragging a large bag behind her with one hand, and carrying a much smaller one thrown over her shoulder. Once she reached the gangplank she smiled up at the men before swinging her body around, flinging the large bag up onto the boat.

The men stared at her in shock, and some with a little bit of annoyance, before slowly going back to do what they were supposed to be doing, preparing to leave port.

"So, Mr. Gibb's, where's the captain and where am I to put my things?" She smiled at him as she walked up the gangplank and stood onboard, glancing around at her new surroundings. She seemed completely oblivious to Jack, whom was still standing at the helm of the ship, and focused on everything else.

"He would be right over there, and ye can put those in the room beside the captain's quarters." He pointed out Jack's location first, and then pointed towards a set of stairs that led below.

Paige glanced at Jack than followed Gibb's finger to the stairs. Than she looked once more at Jack and put her right hand over her mouth, tears began to form in her eyes before she keeled over and began laughing.

"That's what everyone's intimidated about? What's he trying to do, look majestic?" Paige was still laughing as she dragged her bag down the stairs and slammed a door at the bottom.

Jack, who had heard her, walked over to Gibbs who was stifling a laugh himself.

"That was a little bit of a let down, now wasn't it?" Gibbs began to laugh just as hard as Paige had before looking at his captain. Jack's brow was creased in a frown and Gibbs stopped laughing immediately.

"It happens, captain, ye did look somewhat funny up there. Ye're chest all puffed out like a chicken." Gibbs walked away and began shouting orders once more, while Jack just stared down the stairs.

Neither one of them knew that right after slamming her door Paige had opened it again to listen. She softly closed it once more and leaned against it. She stared down at her bags trying to decipher what had just happened.

Well that definitely didn't go as planned.

Walking over to her bed, stepping over her bags in the process, Paige lay on the rough covers staring at the cieling above her with out truly seeing it. So many thoughts were running through her head at once. Was Jack Sparrow everything that everyone thought he was? That display on the helm, or what ever it could be called, was absolutely rediculous and against all of the things she had heard about him. Fearsom?

An evil grin slowly spread across Paige's face, illuminating her eyes with a mischievious glint.

Finding out exactly who, and what, Jack Sparrow is and is about is going to be a lot more interesting than originally thought.

"M'dear, I believe it's time that you came out of the cabin and gave the crew a proper hello!" Jack's voice pierced through the wood as if he were standing directly beside her, staring down at her expressive face with brooding eyes.

Oh... Forgot about that part of this... Time to face the music.

A/N: Everyone review! I'll try to update again if everyone does. I'm going on holidays to visit my sister, but I'm bringing my laptop with me. I may be able to pull something out of my arse if people make sure to review and read!