It had been a good day, Kara mused as she walked towards her bunk, no Lee, nothing, for over a week he's been around, bonding with Kacey and…using it for revenge. She hated Lee, or wanted to, but she didn't.
"Okay Kacey, bedtime." Kara said gently as she placed Kacey on the floor. Reaching for the pajamas she had recently acquired.
"No!" Kacey said loudly
"Yes it's bedtime, so you and Mommy are both going to sleep."
"No!" And with that Kacey proceeded to run around the room, "No, don't want sleep." Pilots began to poke their heads out of their bunks to watch.
"But we're both so sleepy." Kara said in a fake cheery voice, growing more impatient by the minute, how did parent's deal with these things? The only way Kara knew how to deal with it was…unacceptable.
"Nooo!" Kacey wailed, beginning to cry and threw herself on the floor, "Nooooo! Don't wanna, wanna play!"
Kara watched as her previously adorable child turned into small demon as she threw a temper tantrum. She didn't know what to do. Kara made grabbed Kacey and pulled her up to face her. "Yes it is bedtime, stop it!" She let her voice get too loud, drawing more attention.
Kacey continued to kick and wail, Kara just wanted to go to bed…she felt herself getting angrier.
Lee walked in the room before noticing the crying child and nearly running back out.
Kara seized the opportunity and shoved her screeching child at Lee before running out of the room. She couldn't let herself get that mad, she couldn't hurt her child and she wasn't about to let herself. She ran until she couldn't hear the wailing anymore. And she kept running until she got to the gym. She wrapped her hands and punched the bag, trying to vent everything, her feelings about her mother, Lee, Kacey's tantrum. She must have punched the bag for ages; her hands were sore by the time she sat on the floor letting the tears roll down her cheeks. She wasn't a good parent, and she really didn't know how to be. She frakked up again.
"Kara?" an all too familiar voice
"Go away." Her voice was too low.
"We got Kacey put to bed, group effort, you won't believe how." Lee took her silence for interest and continued calmly, "Racetrack is apparently an excellent babysitter, had quite a business at it in her teens."
"So what happened?" Lee questioned Kara when she remained silent.
"I don't want to talk." Kara stood up and looked Lee in the eyes.
"Got scared and ran away?" His voice was taunting, "Or maybe that's the way you are, you just leave; so you aren't a good mommy…you're not much of a friend either." His voice was cold.
Kara lunged at him, effectively pinning Lee to the ground, she let herself punch him, venting her anger, wasn't sure exactly what she was angry about, until Lee hit back. For a while they rolled and struggled, both fighting for dominance, finally Kara won out, ending up straddling him, both breathing heavy. The memory hit both of them at the same time. Then they both just stopped. For a moment they both looked at each other, there really was too much there. It had always been too much. She watched his eyes, than he just grabbed her and refused to let her move, holding her against his chest. She struggled against him until she cried again. Lee seemed surprised at first, but he held her tight and let her cry.
"Why Kara?"
"Why what?" her voice was still too deep, thick with tears and unwanted emotion.
"Just why?" Lee struggled for a moment then let himself say something quieter, "I can't hate you."
"I know the feeling." Kara answered, as she held onto Lee tighter, listening to the beat of his heart, they weren't fighting but it wasn't slowing down, neither was hers. And it wasn't anger that was driving them anymore. She slowly reached out a hand and touched Lee's face, gently. Letting her lips drop just low enough to touch his, gently at first, and then deeper, as Lee dropped his defenses and let her kiss him. She tasted blood, her own doing. When she finally backed up Lee's hands caught her and pulled her back into a kiss. His arms held her tightly against him, and Kara let herself get lost in the moment.
"What about Kacey?" Kara's head shot up, "I should…"
"Racetrack's watching her, she's asleep anyway."
And with that Lee pulled her hard against him, kissing her fiercely, relentlessly. And then Kara just let herself go, dropped her defenses and was lost once again.
