Sorry for the long wait. Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. Please review!
I DO NOT OWN JUNJO ROMANTICA!!!
Chapter Three
When I got to class, Sumi-senpai was looking at me with questions in his eyes. I took my seat beside him, trying to avoid eye contact.
"Hey Misaki. What's with you today? Did something happen between you and your boyfriend?" he had an evil grin when he said that last part.
"Something like that," I whispered. Suddenly everything that happened this morning came flooding back to me.
Damn it. I don't want to think about it!
My eyes started to glisten but I pushed back my tears. I wasn't going to cry in front of my classmates.
"What happened?"Sumi-senpai asked. "Are you guys going to break up?"
You would love that wouldn't you? I thought.
"No. We just had a misunderstanding. That's all." He was about to ask another question but Kamijou the Devil began his lecture.
As I was trying to stay awake and take notes, I couldn't help but tuck my arm under the desk. It was hurting me because of the cut I made earlier. The pain was bearable, but I couldn't help but feel it burn and sting under my sleeve. The reason why I hid my arm under the desk was because I was afraid people might see what I've done to myself. Even though it's covered by my sleeve, it felt as if everyone could still see it.
Time passed and I could feel myself dozing off. Why did this class have to so boring? Just when I felt my eyes close completely, a book was thrown at my head.
"If you're going to sleep in my class, I suggest you leave Takahashi," Kamijou the Devil said.
"I'm sorry sensei. It won't happen again."
"You say that every time when you come to my class. Keep it up and you'll have to repeat this class. You probably will since you can't pass one test of mine."
Some of the students started to laugh. There it goes. Everyone is laughing at me. I hated that. They talk about me enough about my relationship with Usagi-san.
God I hate you sensei! Why must you embarrass me like that!
Kamijou the Devil turned his attention back to the class, throwing a few things to make the students stop laughing.
When class was over, everyone exited the room except for me. Sensei wanted to talk to me.
"Y-Yes Sensei?" I asked nervously.
"I wasn't kidding Takahashi. You're really slacking. If you don't pass this next exam, you're going to have to repeat this class next semester. You'll probably get me as your teacher and I would hate to have you as my student again."
Jeez! You didn't have to say it like that you stupid devil!
"I understand sensei. I'll study really hard for this next test."
I walked out of the room, dragging my feet across the ground.
Just great. Now I really have to push myself because if I fail this class, Nii-chan will be so disappointed at me. And Usagi-san. Why does school have to be so stressful? That professor is horrible. He makes me so angry! Why can't he be nicer to me?
Thinking that, I started to get that sad feeling again. I feel like everyone is against me. First Usagi-san. Then Sumi-senpai. Then Kamijou the Devil. I can't catch a break. I feel like I'm going to shatter at any point.
When I reached the gates, I realized that Usagi-san wasn't here.
Did he forget to pick me up? Highly doubt it. He's probably furious with me for what I said this morning.
I turned around and made my way back home. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest and it was a little hard for me to breathe. I was too nervous about seeing Usagi-san.
When I got home, he was sitting on the couch, typing away at his laptop.
"I'm home," I said but he didn't answer me back. That sad feeling was overtaking my body again. I took off my shoes and placed my bag on the floor.
"Usagi-san-"
"Maybe this was a mistake," he suddenly said.
"What are you talking about?"
"We've been together almost a year, and you still treat me like a stranger. You don't know how happy I was when you said that you loved me. I thought you were finally opening up to me and you were, but something's changed. You're becoming more distant and you're hiding yourself from me again. Maybe…maybe we need some time apart. At least you can think about our relationship and where you want it to go."
"Usagi-san please don't say that." My hands began to slightly shake.
"I'm sorry Misaki-"
"How could you say that?! Take it back!" Take it before I fall in that dark hole underneath me.
"I won't." He said and continued typing at his laptop.
I turned around and ran up to the bathroom. I slammed the door, locking it.
I sat on the floor, rocking back and forth. I didn't want to cry. There was a lump in my throat and I tried to swallow it but it hurt to do so.
I'm not going to cry. Crying will only make it worse. I want to feel numb. I don't want to feel anything!
I dug in my pockets to take out the blade but it wasn't there. Damn it I left it in my bag!
I have to stop this pain. It's swallowing me up! Damn it Usagi-san! Why did you say that?
I got up and searched the cabinet. There was no other shaver. I searched under the sink. Nothing. Damn it. My chest felt like it was tightening. It was becoming a little harder to breathe.
I unlocked the door, making my way back downstairs. I grabbed my backpack and went upstairs to my room. I had glanced back at Usagi-san to see if he was looking at me, but his eyes were glued to the computer screen. I locked my bedroom door. I went to my desk, placing my bag on it. I searched for the blade. When I took a hold of it, it made me feel a little better.
I went back to the bathroom, locking the door. I rolled up my sleeve above my elbow. I sat on top of the toilet, placing my arms on my leg. I pushed the blade against my skin and dragged it across my arm.
This one is for Kamijou the Devil making fun of me in class. Embarrassing me!
I dragged the blade across my arm again.
This one is for Usagi-san saying those hurtful things to me! He doesn't understand! I hate myself because I'm weak. I want to be with him, be happy, but I can't help but feel that I'm not good enough for him! Why did he have to say that?!"
I dragged the blade again. And again. And again.
I dropped the blade on the floor. I could see the blood staining the edge of it. I looked at my arm and it was just a mess. A bloody mess.
God what have I done!
I turned on the faucet, letting the cold water run for a bit. I placed my arm underneath it, positioning it the best way I could so the water could over all the cuts. It stung but it was ok. When I pulled my arms out from the sink, it looked like it stopped bleeding, but I was wrong as more blood began to seep out.
Damn it!
I think I was in the bathroom for 20 minutes before Usagi-san came and knocked on the door.
"Misaki is everything alright? You've been there a long time."
"I'm fine!" I shouted.
"Are you sure. I'm worried."
You're worried?! After telling me that I should think over our relationship, sounding like we should just give up everything we've been through, you're worried?!
"I said I'm fine! Leave me alone!"
Next I heard footsteps going down the stairs. He finally got the message.
I turned off the faucet. I glanced at my arm again. This time the bleeding stopped. I cleaned up any mess I made in the bathroom. I unlocked the door and peaked through the crack. Usagi-san was sitting on the couch. He wasn't typing anymore. He was just sitting there, staring at nothing. His face was expressionless.
I made my way out of the bathroom.
"You can forget about dinner!" I yelled.
I ran to my room and locked the door. I changed into my pajamas and turned the light off. I went and sat on my bed. Instead of going to sleep on it, I slid to the floor, my knees up to my chest. I laid my head on it.
Mom? Dad? What should I do? I feel so lost. I really do love Usagi-san, but I can't bring myself to be truly happy. Do I deserve to be with him?
At that moment, my cell phone rang. I got up and grabbed it from my backpack. I looked at the caller ID and it was a private number. I answered it anyway.
"Hello?"
"Misaki-kun, how are you?"
Usagi-chichi? Why is calling me?
"How did you get my number?"
"Oh, I got it from Haruhiko."
"Did you want something?"
"No. I just have a question."
"What is it?" I'm not going to like what he's going to ask. I can feel it.
"Are you still with my son?"
"Why are you asking that?"
"Just because," I could tell he was smirking on the other line.
"I am," but not for much longer I thought.
"What are you waiting for Misaki-kun? You're only going to hurt him more if you're still with him. He doesn't need some clingy kid to be hanging around him all the time. You should let him be."
My heart felt like it was going to stop beating. Usagi-chichi was right. I am hurting Usagi-san if I stay with him. He doesn't need some kid like to me to occupy his space. I don't want to be a burden to him anymore.
"Misaki-kun are you still there?"
"Y-Yes. Sorry Usagi-chichi, but I have to go."
"Ok. Just think about what I said alright Misaki-kun. I know you'll make the right choice." Then he hung up.
I threw the phone on my bed and placed my head in my hands.
What do I do?
I went and sat on the floor again. My knees were tucked up to my chest. My room was dark. The only light I saw coming into my room was from under the door.
This darkness…this is how I feel right now. Just sad and angry.
I don't know how long I was sitting there, but the next morning I found myself waking up, pulling myself up from the floor. My body ached from sleeping on the ground the whole night. I rubbed my hand across my face. There was something wet. I looked at my hand.
I guess I was crying in my sleep.
Sorry if this chapter was rushed. Please review! I want to know if it was good or bad. Thanks for reading!
