Thankfully, I keep my disguises in my briefcase. Like I said, much more convenient than on a laptop – that is, if you're not a Digimon. I went for the adventurer look. Flowing green cloak, a belt with a bag to store a few full-restores in, and a cool limited edition One Ring necklace. I was ready. Well, maybe not mentally. I am a bit scared of dark-dark city dungeons. I snuck into a heavily wooded forest area and tried to convince myself to take another step. Finally, I did. And another. And another. Etc.

"Wheh. This adventuring, spying stuff is way harder in real life." I had just crossed the Nugget Bridge. I could here a whirring sound emanating from the cave opening. Yup, sounds suspicious. I weaselled my way around some rocks and crept deeper into the even darkerness. Seriously? I don't get paid enough. You really shouldn't have to crawl into dark, scary dungeons in the middle of the dark, scary night. A rumble. "Ewww!" I squeamed at the slime that now clung to my paw. It's definitely time to retire.

It was a long way down to where the Metwew reportedly lived. So far, I had successfully made second floor. "I'm pretty good at sneaking," I proclaimed triumphantly.

Slrp. Slip. Slirp. Oh no! I froze instantly with my paws in midstride. Slrp. "Whooo gores theres?" A nasty lugy dripped down from his long extended tongue. This couldn't be good. "Do you have permissions to bes downs heres –slrp- little missies?"

"I straightened up and tried to play off a cool-and-collected aura. "Yes, of course." I guess it worked because he allowed me to continue on my way.

I silently, stepped down the last step to B1. My haunches were tense with every hair standing alert. In the torchlight I saw a figured sprawled out a few feet from the steps. His little body was partly submersed beneath the basement flooring. I touched his nose. It was clammy. His breathing was wheezy. I pulled out one of my fullrestores and let it trickle down his parched throat. I got lucky this time. He revived leaving no need to entrust him to the nurses at the poke-center. Like I said, I don't trust humans, especially when they have needles and antiseptic. The thought of clones with needles makes me shiver like there's no tomorrow.

The little diglitt came to like a champ. He was a bit sore, but he was in fine shape. "Thank you miss!" He bowed politely. "Names Cody."

"What are you doing down here?" I demanded in a questioning tone.

"Escaping! The crazy cat-thingy dragged me down here. I think he wanted to eat me…" Poor thing. Poor pathetic little creature.

"Can you tell me more about this 'crazy cat-thing'?"

"He breaks every civil right I can think of. He needs to be detained!"

"Is it true that he kills pokemon?"

"Yes. I think he ate a full grown raichu for dinner yesterday." Dinner… Oh yah… Let's not think about that. "He's a psycho! I'm getting revenge someday…" Ah. A spunky personality. Useful.

"How about tonight? I'm trying to find him, actually."

"For you Miss, anything." Cutie. However, I would feel a bit safer if he had evolved into a dugtrio already.

We cautiously darted from bolder to stone in the torchlight. I could hear the flutter of wings overhead. Thankfully, no one was sonaring us. Cody sniffed the dirt. Then he dabbed it with his paw. "Whose footprint! Whose footprint! Identify!"

I took out my notebook and made a tracing of the prints in the dirt. Two toes splayed out at a acute angles. These had to belong to the suspect. I smelled the dirt. They were pretty recent. This guy obviously isn't too into personal hygiene; I'm surprised I didn't smell him sooner.

We followed the prints for a few more minutes. Then we heard a horrible low laugh that echoed throughout the cavern. Thankfully, I had used the bathroom before I left.

"Yup. That's him. No doubt about it. Just around this rock is a short tunnel that leads into his lair." Lair. I guess those are the top item these days. Lair. I should get one sometime… "He has these creepy tube things in there. Huge pokemon are in them. They smell like formaldehyde. It's really gross."

I guess I didn't hear him that time. I was still focusing on how to obtain a lair. "Did you say something?"

He wrinkled his nose and huffed. "Just follow me…"

The eerie sound of machines could be heard all around us. Right in the middle of the room. Yup, there they were – the formaldehyde pokemon. "Yucky!" I squeaked.

In one corner I saw a couple of pokes tied up to a rock. One looked like he was almost beyond the help of a full revive. I would have been the good guy and helped him, but there was no way I could get over there without being noticed. A few guard pokemon were trolling the area. They looked fierce and battle ready. These must be the recruits, huh?

I was about to say something when I blacked out. Poison spores fluttered down from above me. I completely skipped dinner.

It was morning, but you wouldn't have been able to tell from the darkness that surrounded us. Poor diglitt – captured again. It really wasn't his day. A dirge of a voice bellowed to my ears. It was the Mewtwo. He was talking. And I could smell him.

"Spies is it? And this pathetic little creature thought he could escape? You really are stupid, aren't you?"

A tear slid down little Cody's face. "Please don't eat me."

The Metwo laughed loudly. "Eat you? You are far too scrawny. Don't worry, I won't eat you. I will just scan your genetic data and then destroy you. Does that sound better?" Real comedian, isn't he.

The poor little guy. His eyes were wider than he probably thought was possible as he shivered there in dimness. I now took a closer look at the pokemon that I had previously spotted on the other side of the room. They looked haggard – obviously malnourished. My stomach grumbled as I thought about my cute girlish figure shrivelling up into bones and scraggly looking skin.

Time passes by so slowly down here. I keep myself entertained by drawing pictures in the dirt with toe. Currently, I am on a roll – out of the 62 tic-tack-toe games Cody and I have played; I'm up by three points. Unfortunately, I am luckier at games than at real life. Then it finally dawns on me. I really should have taken that barista job at Cuppa-Joe's. It might pay less, but at least it had dependable hours.

Hour-a-few-later, Cody is humming again. I can't get him to stop. I think it's some kind of annoying coping mechanism. Hey! Wait a minute! I just remembered something! I always keep my extra nail file in my pouch. Stupid cat. You would think he would be smart enough to take my purse. I separate some of the fluff around my waist to reveal my waist pouch. Tucked inside, like always, was my precious nail file. Hey! I might not have a stunner job in pr, but a girl has to be prepared for a broken nail. Really, they can make or break a day. You have to be prepared.