Chapter 2
"…and this is your home for the school year." Professor Dumbledore said with a flourish as he opened the door wide. James and I walked into the large common room quietly, our gazes never resting anywhere for long. The room was huge and comfortable looking. There was a large fireplace surrounded by a large burgundy sofa and a matching armchair. There were two large bookcases on either side of the fireplace. I walked over to one and saw the familiar titles of my favorite muggle books. I plucked Pride and Prejudice off the shelf and turned to question Dumbledore.
"Ah yes, you'll notice the room does change for the permanent occupants. The other shelf will have Mr. Potter's favorites."
James wandered over to the other bookcase and pulled a thick volume from its shelves.
"Mostly Quidditch books, I'd guess." Dumbledore said with a grin.
"The door on the left is for Ms. Evan's bedchambers and the one on the right wall is Mr. Potter's. The door on the back wall is to your shared bathroom."
I noticed the elegant script on my door.
"I'll let you settle in. House elves delivered and unpacked your belongings earlier. Sweet dreams." Dumbledore said and then turned and walked from the room.
James turned and walked to my door.
"Where are you going?" I asked loudly, walking quickly to my door and following him in.
"Wow." He replied.
And wow as right. The large bedroom met my tastes perfectly. A large bed dominated the space. The drapes were dark red and matched the drapery on the windows. There was an ornate desk and vanity with a mirror. But the best part was the large French doors that opened onto a private balcony. I raced towards the door and threw it open. I could see out over the lake as a large tentacle broke the still water. I forgot James was even there until I heard the door shut behind him. I turned my gaze back to the view, I could get used to this. I sat down and dangled my legs of the balcony. The iron bars that guarded the edge had enough space for my legs to fit in between and I rested my head on them.
Here I was back at Hogwarts. This is what I'd been looking forward to all summer. Not only that, but I'd see James everyday. Perhaps we would get closer…maybe…
"No!" I spoke softly to myself. "Don't get your hopes up."
"What are you hoping for?" James's voice floated to me from the darkness.
I felt a blush color my cheeks and was instantly glad it was dark out here.
"James?"
"No, Its Peeves. I took over James's body to wreak havoc on Hogwarts!" He answered sarcastically.
When I didn't answer he continued on. "Do you usually talk to yourself? What are you not allowed to hope for?"
I could see the outline of his body leaning over the fence around his own balcony.
"I was… uh… hoping… that Slughorn would show us a new potion in class tomorrow." I spluttered, trying to come up with something feasible for me to be hoping for. I could feel his gaze on me, and I knew I hadn't fooled him at all. "I'm going to bed." I muttered and turned back and walked into my room.
"Sweet dreams." His voice floated in through the open doors along with the last vestiges of the summer air.
The weeks passed quickly and before I knew it, September had come and gone. The weather was getting gradually colder and Quidditch was in full swing. I walked into the common room in the head's dorm one afternoon to the frantic pacing of James Potter.
"Lily!" He exclaimed, startled by my appearance. He looked worried and jittery, as if he had something huge on his mind. "No, I can't." He muttered to himself, and then went back to pacing in front of the fireplace.
"James?" I asked quietly, but he either hadn't heard me or had ignored me. I wondered if maybe he had gone crazy; he was certainly acting strange. "JAMES!" I said louder.
He stopped pacing and stared at me. His gaze was calculating, almost as if he was sizing me up for something. I didn't like his scrutiny and shifted a bit under his gaze.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. I just…" He paused and scrutinized me again. He must have seen something there because his face relaxed a bit, yet he still had a bit of a mad look to his face. He slumped down into the armchair.
"I wonder if you can handle it."
My temper flared. It was rare that I lost control of it, and James was often the catalyst. I glared at him.
"What. Can't. I. Handle?" I said slowly, enunciating each word carefully.
He grinned slightly at my reaction, he had obviously hoped for my temper to get the better of me. "Well it breaks about a million school rules, not to mention ministry laws, but it is important." He began carefully. He knew I took my Head Girl duties seriously, but he also knew I didn't like to back down from a challenge.
"Does this have anything to do with Remus and Tuesday nights expected lunar event?" I asked dubiously. I wasn't dumb, I knew about their monthly trek to the whomping willow. I had found out years ago, although I wasn't certain what the other boys' parts were in the whole thing. I figured James was worried about it; they all got tense around this time.
James started pacing again, and I wondered if he was bipolar. His emotions were all over the place today. He was going back and for the between his normal teasing self and this worried, pacing person.
"James! Tell me what is going on! Is Remus okay?" I demanded sharply.
"Yes, for now." He answered vaguely.
"FOR NOW?!?" I asked shrilly. He was honestly starting to scare me.
He sighed and plopped down into the chair again.
"Sit." He demanded quietly, pointing towards the sofa. I sat down on the edge and looked at him expectantly.
"It does have to do with Moony." He said slowly. 'You see Padfoot and Wormtail got themselves detention for six nights in a row, starting tonight and ending Tuesday night. Some sort of prank on Snape."
I glared at him. James knew I didn't like their treatment of Severus. I had been very close to Severus; he was the one to tell me that I was a witch. He had long ceased talking as he hung out with the dark Slytherins and me with the marauders.
"I know, I know." He said with both hands raised towards me. "I didn't know about it until now. But that leaves only me to watch out for Moony and I'd rather not spend the evening alone with him."
He looked at me hopefully ad I realized what he was slowly getting at.
"Wait, Wait!" I said loudly. "You want ME to help you with Moony while he is transformed?!?" My voice rose in volume and pitch and James jumped from his seat. He sat down next to me on the sofa and grabbed my hands firmly. He had an extremely determined look on his face.
"You know we help him. Have you ever wondered how?" His face was inches from mine and his warm breath ghosted across my face. It smelled of chocolate. My tongue stuck in my mouth and my throat went dry, so I just nodded.
He let go of my hands and stood up, backing into the center of the room.
"Don't go mental okay?" He warned and suddenly James was gone and in his place was a magnificent Stag.
I gasped and my body froze on the sofa. The stag looked directly into my eyes and I realized they were the exact same shade and shape as James's. He slowly moved forward and rested his head on my knee.
"J-James?" I stuttered.
The Stag's head nodded slightly and then he backed up and just as sudden as he had appeared, he was gone and James stood in its place.
"You're an animagus." I breathed.
James nodded.
"And the others are as well?"
He nodded again.
"That is how you can be with him and he doesn't hurt you."
He nodded.
"How did you… when…does anyone know?" All my jumbled thoughts flew out of my mouth before I could make sense of them. James sat down next to me again.
"We learned on our own in third year. Dumbledore knows and Snape followed us last year and almost got himself killed. But otherwise it's us and now you."
He looked at me expectantly and I suddenly realized what James was getting at.
"WAIT!" I yelled, standing up and glaring down at James. "You want me to help you? You want me to become an animagus? In just a few days?" I started pacing up and down the small room. "It would mean breaking a million rules and laws. And I'm Head Girl. I can't do that!" I ranted as I paced. James stood and grasped my upper arms, effectively stilling my movements.
"I need your help. I can't safely go alone, I can't ask anyone else and I can't leave Moony alone. Plus, I know you can do this. You can!" His gaze burned into mine, and I promptly forgot my reasons to say no.
"Do you really think I can change into an animagus?" I asked softly.
"I know you can." James whispered; his face just centimeters from mine. If I raised my chin just a bit my lips would be on his. I didn't move; I waited for him to make the first move. I wanted him to make the first move.
"PRONGS!" Sirius's voice called as he came flying through the door. I cursed the day James gave him the password. "Oh great! Lils is here! Did you ask her yet?" He skidded to a stop in front of the fireplace. James winked down at me and moved to sit casually on the sofa.
"Yup." He replied.
I just stood there for a bit before I realized I looked like a git. Without saying anything, I walked into my room and out onto the balcony. I sat down on the edge and rested my forehead against the cool metal bars.
What the bloody hell was going on today? How could I agree to this? It was dangerous and stupid. I could get seriously injured or worse; I could get caught. I didn't think the ministry could give out pardons because I was helping a friend. But, what else could I do? I couldn't let James go alone. If he got hurt it would weigh heavy on my heart. And I couldn't ask him not to go. He valued his friendships much more than any rules or laws. And Remus was my friend as well. He shouldn't be left alone at a time when he needed someone.
My mind flashed back to James transforming into a stag and the nickname Prongs finally made sense. It was quite a feat of magic. I couldn't help but find him more attractive because of it. Another scene flashed in my head; James standing directly in front of me, holding my arms, reassuring me, telling me I too could be an animagus. His face so close to mine. I tried to shake the image from my mind. It wouldn't help my decision to be thinking of James and the reason he winked at me.
I sighed and shifted slightly. No matter how beautiful the scenery, I could only sit on the uncomfortable stone balcony for so long.
A slight noise alerted me to someone's presence and I turned to see Remus enter my room and walk quickly to my balcony.
"Hi." I said softly as he sat down next to me. I wondered if he knew what James had asked me to do.
We sat in comfortable silence for a while before he started talking.
"You don't have to help James. He doesn't even have to be there. I can handle it myself. James just knows you." Remus peered at me for a moment. "He knows how to get you to say yes."
I glanced sharply at him. That wasn't fair. I could say no to James if I wanted to, couldn't I? It didn't honestly matter. James would be there with Remus no matter what he said and I couldn't let him go alone. It was for both of their safety.
"I'm going to try Remus." I said softly. "You know James. He'll be there no matter what. I can't leave him alone."
Remus glared out at the lake, shaking his head slightly. I took his silence for acceptance. We sat in silence for a bit longer.
"There's something else bothering you." He said quietly and I peered at him. He was studying my face.
Crap. There wasn't much that I could hide from him.
"What is he doing now?" Remus asked quietly.
I shook my head. "It's nothing."
"Oh I doubt that. What has he done now?" He prodded.
I sighed. I might as well tell Remus. I had a few female friends, Alice and Marlena, but I couldn't tell them about this. They didn't know about Remus, and it was all tied together.
"I think," I started slowly, "I think he might have almost kissed me just before. That was until Sirius came in. He was right there, and we were just looking at each other. When Sirius came in he winked at me." I stared down at my hands. It sounded pathetic to me.
Remus chuckled slightly and I glared up at him. "What! Do you think I'm just a little girl with a crush? Just forget it. Forget I said anything." I stood up and tried to walk back into my room but Remus got to the door first.
"No, I don't think you are a little girl with a crush. I think it's about time you two realized that you are not just friends anymore."
I looked at him a moment. "You will not say anything to anyone about this." I warned.
Remus rolled his eyes, but placed a hand against his chest. "Promise."
I nodded.
"On another topic of business, you should find a time to practice with James."
I glared at him. How dare he say something like that to me?
His eyes widened at my anger and then realization washed over his face. "Practice becoming an animagus. James is the best at it. He taught Sirius and Peter."
I blushed at my assumption and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. "What are the other two?" I was legitimately curious to see what Padfoot and Wormtail meant.
"Sirus is a big, black dog and Peter is a rat." He said calmly.
"Why would Peter want to be a rat?" I asked, confused. Peter was odd, but even he wouldn't have picked to become a rat.
Remus sighed, "You don't get to pick what you become. It's a direct reflection of your soul, who you are on the inside."
I thought about that for moment. I wondered what I would become; hoping it would be better than a rat.
A/N hellooooo! So this is probably one of the longest chapters I've ever posted! I do hope you enjoyed it! :-) One week till thanksgiving break and the expected time to write!! Oh and that little movie that comes out this week... anyone else going to the midnight showing of New Moon?? yeah yeah, I'm that kind of nerd. ;-) anyway... review me! I was a bit saddened that I didn't get many review this last week... no reviews makes Sarah a sad girl...
-Sarah
