Disclaimer: See previous chapter. It all still applies.
Chapter 2: Words in the Night Air
I do not care about that Book above. Erase my name, or write it as you will, so I be written in the Book of Love.
-Omar Khayyam, The Rubaiyat
It is morning. Soft rays of sunlight float through the cool and conditioned air. Little particles of dust, brought in by the wafting summer breeze, wander in their spiraling paths. A train horn sounds plaintive in the distance. Birds chant their morning hymns, sing their praises.
The grey child awakens in a haze, his vision clouds. He rubs his eyes, adjusts his pajama pants, and shambles, barefoot and shirtless, to the kitchen. Major Katsuragi, nor any of the other tenants, are anywhere to be found. In their stead, the house penguin, Pen-Pen, is rifling through the cabinets, dragging out a box of off-brand cereal. It warks at him, waddles to the living room, where it perches itself on the battered sofa and watches TV. The familiar brassy blare of the Tannhauser Overture on the morning news.
He smiles. After the events of the last day, the mere sight of a penguin is a welcome relief. Seeing these mechanical golems – the EVAs - rebel so violently was more than could be expected by the limited reason of any man or woman here. What kind of madness is NERV up to? With such damaged and violent tools, how could they possibly have succeeded against the angels so far? It is madness and the smiling vindictiveness and sadism of fortune which propels them forward. The sheer impracticality and selfsame madness of producing EVAs themselves, of forcing children into this role, of shunting him into combat and death and gore, as yet another weapon, to fight – the creation his life had been a reflection of that fanatic's philosophy. It is against reason. All this has long ago degenerated into madness. The slaughter and extermination of life continues, as it always has.
He cracks some eggs and prepares an omelet for himself, as well as some tea for his pills. Such thoughts are too dangerous to have this early in the morning. He must focus on other things.
His idle gaze wanders up from his breakfast and around the apartment. All the signs of life are there – dishes and empty beer cans stacked in the sink, coats and papers scattered around, Shinji's apron. His thoughts turn to the other pilots. Rei, the other half of his self - Asuka, with her violent strength of will - and Shinji. The survivor, the boy who yet refuses to surrender to his weakness. Clearly, he must learn more about these others. They are extraordinary in their own eccentricities.
Slowly the door hangs open. The dead-eyed stumbling figure of Misato steps in. Kaworu snaps to attention. "Major – are you OK? Is there anything I can do for you?"
She waves him away. "No, no, thank you. But how courteous of you – if I had any energy left in me, I'd be overjoyed to see a shirtless young boy like you do say he'll do anything I please." She chuckles a bit at her own sudden risqué joke. She is surprised at even her own indiscretion. Fortunately, the innuendo seemed to have gone right over his head, as he stared in innocent confusion. "No, I'm just tired. I've been up all night with damage control. I'll be going to bed for a couple hours, then back at it again."
"It must be a very difficult job you have. I admire your dedication, Major."
"Oh, you flatter me, Kaworu. But I think you all have a much harder job of it that I do. It's my job to keep an eye on you. If there is anything you need – anything – please tell me."
"I'd be glad to."
She takes off her uniform cap and heads towards her bedroom.
"Misato-san."
She stops. "Yes, Kaworu?"
"There is something I'd like to ask." He pauses for a moment, parsing his thoughts. "I am unfamiliar with Japanese customs, so I would like to know …"
"Yeees, Kaworu?" she raises an eyebrow and smirks.
He pauses a moment, licks his lips. "What do you do if you are strongly interested in – attracted to, I mean - another person?"
She looks at him with an astonished and surprised look on her face. She snorts and giggles, puts her hand on Kaworu's shoulder in a gesture of fraternity. "Ohhhh~ you've already found somebody interesting, haven't you? It's only been one day – my, my. How adventurous of you. Is it somebody at school?"
"Yes it is, Misato-san."
"Well, you're acting awfully fast. But I think I could help you out. Talk to them when they're alone, and then go somewhere friends go. Get to know them better, see how things develop. Maybe get some ice cream, it's still warm out. A movie might be good too."
Kaworu takes this all in, nods obediently. "Thank you, Misato-san. I must be getting ready for school."
"Oh, of course. Have a nice day, you little Casanova~"
There, in the bowels of the facility, is the hospital at NERV. The place is suffocated by the sickly-sweet smell of a cheap disinfectant. He feels uneasy, vaguely nauseous. The lights blind him.
He finds Shinji, leaving his room, his uneasy shrinking presence.
Kaworu stops for a moment, circles his head around like a periscope, leans in close to Shinji, and asks in a low, conspiratorial tone: "Do you want to go out and see a movie after school today?"
His mouth opens wide, he stutters. "Oh, uh… You mean today? After school? Uh, I…"
"That's right, Shinji-kun. I'd like to go with you very much."
Shinji looks at his shoes, mumbles. "Sure. I think so."
"I'm glad to hear that, Shinji-kun. Let's walk to school together."
"Sure, sure," Shinji replies, still unsure if all this is real.
The school day rushes past. Shinji is anxious to go out with his new friend, who was so kind as to visit him. He daydreams, lost in thought about the past few days, how much has changed. Asuka is talking next to him, but he is too far away to listen.
A minor spectacle at break time. A crowd is gathered around Kaworu, who is playing piano, the soft enveloping melodies and Beethoven's Tempest Sonata, movement three. The rise and fall on chromatic scales. Passionate intensity. The students applaud him when he is done, swarm him with questions. Hound him, ask him for clubs. The girls ask him about his life, is his hair real, would you like to do… He apologizes, brushes them off, says he already has plans for today, thank you for asking, I'll be happy to talk to you all later.
Misato is sleep on her bed, not even having bothered to change out of her uniform. The telephone rings. She wakes up, and then tries to ignore it for a few second s before picking up her cell.
"What."
"Misato, this Kaji. We need to talk. Meet me at the old Saijoji Temple in an hour."
"Mmmkshur." She drops the cell phone on the floor and rolls over before jumping out of bed a minute later and grabbing the car keys.
The two boys walk down the crossed and winding roads. Kaworu is intensely curious, wanting to see more. Something within Shinji is holding him back, though, despite his excitement at the novelty of having another friend. He feels like the whole thing is a sham, that Kaworu will lead him into a TV studio, and tell him that the past few weeks were all a sham, that his misery was televised for the public's amusement. Disbelief smothers him inside.
As they walk down a main street, Kaworu spies Pen-Pen buying a bit of fried fish from a vendor. He is fiddling with change with his beak, from a wallet with the words "Bad Motherfucker" stitched onto it in English. He smirks at this, and wonders vaguely how much Pen-Pen knows. If only that bird could talk.
They enter the movie theater, with dimmed lights, buy tickets. Kaworu leads Shinji by the hand, observes the behavior of the patrons, buys only one box of popcorn, sits him down in the very front center. The movie is an ordinary western, with gunfights and cowboys. Shinji fiddles around, as the movie seems boring to him – he'd rather look at the people – ordinary friends, couples kissing loudly, bored ushers, and his new strange friend. Kaworu is enchanted with the novelty of the whole experience, being up in front, next to the action. He eats the popcorn, slowly and delicately, one piece at a time, licking the butter off of his hands as a cat cleans its paws. This is all too adorable to Shinji, who stifles his giggling.
The movie ends, the two boys leave, exiting the sticky cocoon of the theater and into the dry warmth of the cheerful row of shops. They spot an ice cream stand, with the vendor shouting out his wares.
Kaworu remarks idly, "I haven't had ice cream."
"Eh? How could you not … you must have lived a very isolated life, Kaworu-kun…"
Kaworu looks down, his calm mood dampened. "I did."
"Well, you should have some."
"I should! I'll buy one for each of us."
Kaworu glides over to the vendor, buys one picked at random for him – mint - and a strawberry waffle cone for Shinji. Kaworu slowly touches it with his tongue.
"It's cold … and very sweet!" He then bites a large dollop of his scoop, winces as brain freeze sets in. He gags a little, and Shinji laughs at the audacity and silliness of it all, patting him on the back. How long has it been since he has had a moment like this? Of unguarded affection and friendliness?
The pair take the long road back home. They are content simply to be in each others' presence, chatting amicably about little meaningless things – the movie, the ice cream, school life. The sun beats down upon them, making them sweat and dampen their clothes, but they don't seem to mind. They stop at a public decorative fountain and cool each other off, splashing each other once or twice, laughing the whole way, hoping for this to always continue, for this day to never die.
A skeleton of timbers lies heavy in the wilderness. It was a temple once. Time has worn it away, leaving a few columns, the torii gate, and the scattered tangle of cedar trees. The long stairway is now overgrown with weeds. A blue Renault Alpine is parked in front. The two once-lovers walk on their solitary way through the old forest. Grass and branches rustle underfoot.
"Misato. I'm glad you could come out on such short notice." His face, worn down, tries and fails to put on its customary mask of aloofness.
"Mm. Not a problem. What did you need to discuss?"
He sighs, picks at his stubble. "I have some information. About the EVA program, NERV, and our new arrival."
"Hm. Well, if you want a group with skeletons in its closet, it's NERV. What gossip do you have for me?"
"It's not gossip, Misato. It's far worse than that." A trace of iron in his voice.
"Well, how bad is it?"
"Well, I'm technically supposed to spy on you all on behalf of the Japanese government. I've also…" He hesitates. Could he be spied on, even here?
"Kaji – what else is there? You mentioned NERV and shadow groups."
Tension in his voice. "I've listed and picked apart several hundred companies and front organizations, controlling everything from research institutes to public policy think-tanks to manufacturing to banks. Even cells operating within and above major world governments. Within the Japanese government, the American, and even the Germans are losing their grip. People are disappearing, Major. Whatever this group has in mind for us, it's not pretty. Everything imaginable is already controlled by them. They're not going to be nice and discreet and try covert ops against us, like snipers and assassinations, oh no. They've got a fucking howitzer pointed at our heads."
He exhales, taking a slow drag from his stub of a cigarette. The flame has reached the filter, and he throws it down, snubbing the fire with his heel.
"That new boy. Albino – head looks like a cotton ball. What's his name, again?"
"Kaworu Nagisa. He was very nice."
"Don't trust him. Keep an eye on him at all times. He's a spy at best, and a sleeper agent at worst. Everything indicates that this group has a competing Eva program, working against ours."
"Why would they do that? Shouldn't we be pooling our resources?"
"A good question, and one I'm looking around for the answer for. There is more here that I haven't yet found out. I'm on dangerous ground here, but I have to keep going."
"I hope things will be OK, Kaji."
"I hope so too."
Dinner time at the Katsuragi residence. A merry affair, with good food and a pleasant time offered to all. The three children, Misato and Kaji, were seated, having a bantering conversation. Smiles were plastered on all their faces.
"So – where were you two all day?" Asuka wonders, focusing on Shinji, who is trying desperately to look as though he doesn't mind the question. "Were you little lovebirds going on a date?"
"N-no!"
"You were out a long time. You were making out somewhere, weren't you, little boys?"
"No! I swear we weren't! We only went to see a movie together!"
"A sappy romance, I bet."
"No – it was… it was… what was it again, Kaworu?"
"Ha! I knew it!" A triumphant grin on her face. "You see? You were watching a-"
"Now, now, Asuka. Leave those two alone." Misato tries to keep a professional and stern look on her face.
"Wark!" Pen-pen grabs a piece of fish from the table, off of Asuka's plate.
"Hey! Give that back, you little-"
And so forth. The whole time is a rowdy and noisy affair. Shinji twists his chopsticks around, marveling almost at the good fortune he's had over the past day. Perhaps life is looking up for him after all. He scoops more food into his mouth.
"Well, Misato and I have got to go to the wedding reception. Good bye, you all, and have fun."
"Wait, Kaji-"
Too late, he is gone. She is jilted, left in the arch of the door, seeing him fade away into the darkness. She turns around and faces the others directly.
"Well, it's just the three of us, then."
She stands, statuesque, her hands on her hips, calculating. "So – now what are we going to do? Shall I have you two girly-boys kiss? Or should I kiss one of you, show you how it's really done?"
She advances. Kaworu looks on, a passive observer, Shinji with visible surprise.
She reaches forward and grabs Shinji, who squirms around. He shuts his mouth, she grabs his nose, holds his breath down. When he gasps for air, she assaults his mouth, forcing her tongue in. Shinji gags and pushes her away, rushing into his bedroom. Kaworu follows behind him. She quickly wipes the spit off her chin.
"I'll bet they already are fucking like rabbits."
Night. The veil of darkness has descended upon the house, with Kaworu resting his head on his stretched arms on the floor, and Shinji curled up on the bed.
"I should be sleeping on the floor, Kaworu."
"No, no! It's fine. I am your guest. I don't mind being here."
A pause. The rhythmic chirp of crickets.
"Kaworu?"
"Yes, Shinji."
"I, uh… I just want to thank you. For being with me today."
"It is a pleasure, Shinji-kun. You're a very interesting person."
"Wh-what?"
"I really do want to know more about you, Shinji-kun. People are unique in their own way, of course, but it is your unique combination of circumstances and your personality, and your actions. How you've managed to come so far and still act as you are, while still retaining your essential humanity – that much is very impressive to me."
"… I see, Kaworu. Thank you."
A gust of wind. Shinji breathes out a long sigh.
"What do you think about fate, Shinji-kun?"
"Fate?"
"Destiny. Whether or not a person has a set purpose in life, with which to aim for and achieve or whether they wander around, searching, or if they just wander without searching, as thin skeletons in the desert."
"Well… I think that people don't have a forced destiny. People can choose what to be, and aim for that. But we aren't totally alone either."
"Yes!" Kaworu says with a hint of force behind his smooth diction. "That is what I think, too, Shinji-kun. I'm glad we agree on that."
Kaworu stretches out, crossing his legs at the ankle, his feet poking out under the thin sheet. Shinji scrunches up his covers closer to his face. It is a while before Kaworu speaks again.
"I'm sorry things did not go well between you and Asuka."
"No, no, that's fine. She's always been like that, aggressive. As everybody is."
"What do you mean, Shinji-kun?"
"Well, I guess that people have always been distant to me. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I just make them mad for some reason."
"You don't make me mad, Shinji-kun."
"Thank you, Kaworu. That's very comforting to hear." Soft feelings in their voices.
"We all start alone in this world, Shinji-kun. It's those lucky ones amongst us who find another to intertwine their lives with."
"You really believe that?"
"I do."
At this, he blushes, and looks down at his chest for a moment, presses the tips of his fingers together. Kaworu turns towards him.
"I feel like I was born to meet you, Shinji-kun."
