A/N: Okay, so I have a very busy schedule, with music festivals and mid terms blah blah blah. So sorry it took so long! Anyways I still don't own it! Nor do I own any songs I have used! That said on with this story!
Chapter 3- All I need…
Paul POV
I woke up the next morning with everything that happened crashing back down on me. I wish I could have woken up beside the one I love. What happened to getting the happy ever after? Well that obviously wasn't meant for me. I checked my phone in hopes that she texted back. Nope, nothing. I threw on a plain pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. Walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat, a bowl of cereal would do for now. I sat down to watch the morning news. Looked like it would be a chilly, rainy week, what else is new?
I pulled out my phone, I was bored and I haven't even been up for an hour. And besides I was fired from my job last night. Maybe I should go out to look for another one. Nah, a couple days off wouldn't bother me much. Maybe Sam was off, I'll give him a call.
"Hey Paul, what's up? I haven't talked to you in forever." Well damn I thought I just talked to him last night. Oh well.
"Ugh, I'm bored; I lost my job last night. I guess I just need someone to talk to. Can you come over?" I knew he was probably with Leah and she doesn't like me, so he won't come over. Jake works today. Last resort, Jared.
"Umm, well I can see what I can do, I'm with Leah tonight. So I can come over for a couple of hours. Leah just bought this movie 'The Ugly Truth', I'll bring it over to watch; it's pretty funny. But umm, give me 20 to get ready, so I will be over in a half hour. Okay?" Leah was always getting in the way with guy time, and now they're getting married. I wish I was still with Bella, maybe we would be getting married by now.
"Okay, thanks Sam, I'll see ya in a little while."
"Hey, I have an important question for you. Okay?" Hmm, question?
"Sure okay." And with that I shut my phone and stuck it back in my pocket. I flipped through a few channels still pondering what Sam had to ask me, that he couldn't do over the phone. The possibilities where endless.
In what seemed like a few minutes, there was a knock at my door. Sam was here already. I stood up, stretched and went to open the door for him. "Sam, you're here already?!" His brows furrowed in confusion.
"Well it has been 45 minutes. So…" he walked right passed me and to the couch, I followed him right on his heels. "…you know Leah and I are getting married." It was a statement but I still felt the need to answer. I plopped down on the couch next to him.
"Yeah, I know, what's up?" I was confused, him and Leah where doing fine, right?
"Well, umm, how do I put this? I know what happened last night, Leah told me. Here's the thing, I want you to be my best man. You're my best friend and can't imagine anyone but you being there for me." He looked over at me sincerely. But he still had a look of worry on his face.
"Wow Sam, that's great. Thanks man. But something is still the matter, what's wrong?" I glanced a look at him and saw that he was contemplating on how to tell me what was on his mind. "Just spit it out Sam, it can't be that bad." He looked at me, very serious.
"Oh, no it is bad, trust me." I nodded and he continued. "Well, uh, Leah and Bella are pretty good friends. Leah has decided, before I told her you were my best man, to have Bella as the maid of honor." He said it all too fast. He looked down, not looking me in the eyes.
"Umm, well…" I didn't know what to say. I was not allowing Bella to get in the way of seeing my best friend get married. Nor was I going to get in the way of letting Bella see Leah get married. "We can work around it. Or try to at least." I knew we couldn't, we couldn't even see each other in public. This was going to be in epic fail of a wedding party. "Sam I don't know what to say. Bella wants to talk. She texted me last night." He looked over at me with a huge smile playing a crossed his lips.
"That's great man. Maybe she'll give you another chance at love. Maybe this will be your one chance. Fix things, and keep things strong. And you really have to tell her dude, that's what split you two up in the first place." His voice was fatherly; I think that why he's my best friend, he was sort of my father figure in life.
"Ugh! I can't just tell her. She'll really hate me and never want to give me a second chance. Maybe if we get serious again, I'll tell her." I did not sound like myself; I was so lost without her.
"Paul, would you rather have that Jasper kid, her brother tell her; or the truth come from you, the one she loves. You need to think rationally, she's not going to want to hear it from him either. That would kill her, if she even believes him in the first place." He raised his eye brows at me knowingly. "I don't know, but you need to fix shit with her."
"Alright! I got it! Thanks, but let's drop that part of the subject. I know I can't be caught in a lie, not if she gives me a second chance. Ugh! I don't know. I just want to see and hold her again. Sam?"
"Yeah Paul," He looked at me confused.
"Thanks, for being a friend, a father, a mentor, a brother. Thanks, you've helped me out so much. Ever since that day…" I trailed off, feeling the tears well up at the brim of my eyes.
"Hey, that's what I'm here for, to be a friend." He laughed, "Now, shall we order some Chinese and watch this movie or what?" He always knew how to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, what you want, I'll order." I ordered the food and within a half hour they delivered it to my house. We sat back and watched the movie. About half way through the movie, I paused it; I really wanted to ice cream. "You want a bowl of ice cream?" I asked Sam.
"Umm, that sounds good. Do you have hot fudge and sprinkles?" He honestly looked like a five year old.
"Yes, I do believe I do." I stood up, and started to the kitchen. "What kind do you want, I have mint chocolate chip, cake batter, and I think vanilla." I looked into the freezer and sure enough it was the three that I had said.
"Cake batter, please and don't forget the hot fudge and sprinkles." Oh he his very demanding.
"Yes sir!" Jeez if he can't hear the sarcasm in that, then he's deaf. I scooped out ice cream, a bowl for each of us, topped them with hot fudge and sprinkles. "Here," I handed him the bowl and started the movie up again. It amazed me how far Abby and Mike went to express their love for each other. Those two were really in love; it almost reminded me of Leah and Sam. And how much they loved each other, true love. The movie came to an end. "Wow that was funny, especially with the underwear! God, that was great!"
"I told you so! I called it, you liked it and it perked you up!" I must have looked confused. So he explained his reasoning, "Dude, no offence but you looked so depressed for weeks, this is the first time I have seen your face bright and laugh a little. You relaxed and enjoyed the movie. You were yourself for once, and I liked having the old you back." He smiled. "Hey, I got to go; a wedding planner is coming over to help do all the planning. It should be interesting. But I'll call you tomorrow." I glanced at the clock it was three thirty. I nodded my head.
"Okay, sounds good." He headed to my front door, "hey, do I really look that bad? Like depressed?" I held onto the door and looked down at the ground.
"To tell you the truth Paul, yeah, you look that bad. Like someone ripped you apart." I nodded my head, that statement was so true.
"Yeah someone did, I left a piece of my heart behind too." I took a deep breath, in attempts to calm myself. He clapped my shoulder.
"You'll figure it out, I know you will." I shook my head. There really wasn't much I really could do.
"Yeah, well I'll talk to you later; I don't want to be the one to make you late." Leah doesn't need another reason to hate me. As much as I wanted to say that out loud, I kept it to myself.
"True, see ya." And with that I shut my door and shuffled back to the couch, were I sat down to think. I'll never forget the voicemail Bella left on my phone that night, they will forever haunt me.
Flashback begins
I sped down the road, as mad as anyone could be. My blood boiling not realizing I just left my Bella. I pulled down the very familiar road to La Push. As soon as I pulled up to my house, I cut the engine and jumped out. I threw open my front door and slammed it just as hard. God sometimes she really pissed me off! My phone beeped at me, letting me know I had a new voicemail. I quickly typed my password and pressed the pound key.
"Paul…why? Why did you do that? Don't you know how much I love you. You've broken my heart, ripped apart my world. Why?" She started to cry, she cried for a little while then she hung up the phone. I deleted that message, the last thing I wanted to do was listen to Bella cry. I started to think about what Bella said. I do love Bella.
Days went by and she never called again, Leah stopped talking to me. I really started to wonder how she was doing. That's when I started to call her on a daily basis, trying everything in my power to get a hold of her, but every attempt failed. Asked Leah, and she never did more than flip me off and walk away. As weeks went by and she never called back, I first started to worry. Then figured she needs room to breathe. Then I realized I was becoming depressed, and my heart left with the time. I did know how much I loved her. I started to remember every time I touched her; I remembered how much I miss her laugh. I don't even remember what her laugh sounded like. This just depressed me even further. I slipped into a routine, wake up, dress, school, work, shower, call Bella, bed.
A month passed and I really missed her, I cried regularly. I wrote Bella a note and dropped it off on her door in hopes it would break her down and call me.
Bella;
I know this is my fault, and you don't understand how sorry I am. Bella, I really want to work this out, I'm tired of fighting, not being able to hear you. And I really hope you still want me the way I want you. I want you back in my life, forever and always. I never meant to take it out on you but baby I couldn't help it. My heart was left broken and I apologize for making you cry. But I know it's probably too late to apologize. All I need is you, if you would have me that way.
Paul
I left that letter a week ago, still no answer…
Flashback ends
I was snapped back to reality when my front door slammed shut. I jumped up and turned towards the door. Jake, figures. "What are doing here?" I was so confused; he should have been heading to work.
"Well if you think back to last night, I ran out after you to make sure you were okay, and James fired me too. But I figured you were too worried about seeing Bella to care that I was fired too." He looked, hands in his pocket. Almost like he was ashamed to say that.
"Oh, well I didn't realize you did that. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have done that." I walked to the kitchen; I could really go for a cup of coffee. "Do you want some coffee?" He shrugged his shoulders and then nodded. "Sam just left…" I looked at the clock on my stove, it's been two hours since Sam left, I must have dozed off. "…well two hours actually, I must have fallen asleep. Oh well, you hungry?" I turned to my refrigerator, opened it up, never mind; it's a pizza night. "I think I'm going to order a pizza, what kind do you want?"
Jake followed me in, "Umm, I don't care. Hey did you finish that English assignment Professor Browne gave us?" Shit! Forgot about that.
"I, umm, planned to do that tonight, since I'm not going to work." I grabbed the phone and ordered a large hot sausage and pepper pizza. Soon enough it was delivered; Jake and I ate the whole thing in one sitting. "Ugh, I need to stop thinking about Bella. She really is starting to get to me. I mean I think of her 24/7 and it really gets me down. Sometimes I feel like no one will ever fill the whole I gave myself when I left Bella." I sighed and let a huge breath. "Jake, I don't think I can live without her." I shook my head trying to shake the tears away.
Jake walked over and put his hand on my back. "Dude, we'll try to get her back. She misses you, I mean it's so hard talking to her at night and then being able to walk a few feet down the road to see you. But you obviously learnt your lesson. Hey did you ever tell her about you know what?" Ugh, even he brings it up, what the fuck.
"No! I never told her." My sadness was washed away with a new wave of anger.
"Don't you think you should have told her? Now Jasper or what's his faces name might. Then she'll never trust you." He said it like he would tell her in a heartbeat.
"You don't think I know this!" I wish people would just drop this subject. I live with this guilt every day. Must everyone remind of it! Now that's it's all said and done, I want to leave it in my past. I never wanted to bring it up, I learnt my lesson. "Alright, let's drop this subject please. I kind of just want to relax and try to keep my mind off of these two subjects." I sat on the couch and put my feet, with no intention of moving. The night slowly dragged by, Jake and I mostly watched reruns of Cops. Nothing to interesting. "Alright Jake, hate to say it, but I need to do that English assignment. Then I'm going to wallow in my pain." I stood and went to shut the T.V. off.
"Well hey, you caused it." Jake's words just added the salt to my wound.
"Thanks Jake! That helps me a whole lot!" I looked at me, dead in the eye.
"No problem! That's what friends are for." He laughed. I just started towards my stairs.
"Ha, really funny Jake. Shut the door on your way out!" I walked up my stairs, "night Jake." I heard my front door creek open.
"'Night Paul." And it slowly shut. I continued to my study room. I had a big enough house to donate one room just for my computer and a desk. It was a small room, but big enough to house a desk and a chair. It also made me focus on what I was trying to accomplish. Although Facebook often distracts me.
Within two hours I pulled off a three page paper. Not bad, at least it was now done; tomorrow I would have all to myself to do nothing! Fun stuff there. I slowly got up and headed to my room. Changed into my sweats, threw off my shirt and decided it was time for bed. But this was the time I spend thinking of how to fix things with Bella. Which was going to happen whether I really wanted to or not. I mean I'm supposed to be the best man and her the maid of honor. This was not going to work out well. I could just think of how bad things were going to go down at the first wedding rehearsal, or some meeting that we both had to attend. What if this was Sam and Leah's way to say 'stop acting like five year olds, you love each other, deal with like adults'. Possibly, but whatever happens I hope and pray that it only works out for the best. Sooner or later I will also have to break the truth to Bella about my past. Which is when she'll just break up with me, 'cause she'll think negative about me, which I won't blame her for. When that rejection comes, I will have to pick up my sorry ass and get over it. As I drifted off to sleep there was a loud knock on my door. Who the hell was here this late at night?
A/N: Huh! Little of a cliffhanger! Well one chapter down, many to go. Have ideas, I'm open for them. My schedule will be messy this next week; I'm hoping to have one more chapter before the weekend is done! I love to hear your thoughts and opinions. Reviews are love and I love them too!
