It wasn't long before my routine nightmare popped into existence. I hated this nightmare, it was less of a nightmare and more of a memory from my long forgotten childhood as the scene played out before me like it did almost every night.

Konoha was bathed on red and orange. Flames licked the sky where buildings burnt and civilians screamed running around trying to escape the chaos. I looked to my right to see Kakashi standing fiercely and to my left was Rin who looked terrified. We were only 12 but we had to help Konoha.

The nine tailed fox roared and smashed another building to the ground as we followed our sensei. Konoha's yellow flash as he was yelling over the chaos. I slipped and fell into a warm oozing puddle of blood as Kakashi and Rin helped me up as we chased our sensei.

'STOP! NO!' I heard Kakashi yell as he shoved a wounded shinobi out of the way. We were all exhausted and beaten as we were buffeted by another hot oppressive wave of the kyuubi's chakra. I grit my teeth as I felt the undersides of my arms burning from the chakra wave as we didn't stop.

Sensei was holding a newborn baby in his arms as we fought to try to stop what he was about to do. Kakashi slipped as I caught him and he wrenched himself from my grasp trying to get to his sensei.

'DON'T DO IT!' I screamed about the roar of the kyuubi and the deafening clash of fighting shinobi around me as they attempted to bring down the nine tailed fox.

Sensei didn't even turn around as he stepped into an area with four candles as they burst into flames and the chakra seal spread across the ground from sensei's feet toward the kyuubi.

'NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!' we screamed as Kakashi tried to run and grab our sensei. I held him back as he fought me with all of his will. I felt his teeth break skin and my ribs cracked from a kick to my side as I held Kakashi back from going after Sensei. I watched with wide eyes as sensei glowed and held up the newborn.

He was wailing at the top of his lungs as the kyuubi seemed to reflect the child's confusion for a moment before another wave of condensed chakra rippled through the area. We were knocked onto our backs as I pinned Kakashi. He was screaming and sobbing now as I felt my heart tear in two at his pain as his eyes went wide.

Everything went white, as I remembered that this was the worst part of the nightmare as Kakashi froze in my hold. Slowly I turned to see Sensei but he wasn't standing. He was crumpled on the ground, the newborn still held in his arms wailing but there was no more kyuubi.

I ran over to where sensei lay as I gently touched his shoulder as wide soulless blank eyes stared back into mine.

't-t-take N-n-Naruto. I-I-m sorry Kakashi b-but, just be happy. Tell Kanna I love her Kasumi.' He smiled weakly as I lifted the screaming baby from his arms. He looked exactly like sensei as he calmed a little under my touch. The seal was bright on his tiny stomach as little black scars adorned his cheeks as I looked at my sensei trying not to cry. He was one of the only people to try to take me in after my parents had died on a mission to wave country and now here he was dying on the battle field because it was his duty.

'Don't leave me sensei!' Kakashi cried as Konoha's great yellow flash smiled gently at both of us before his eyes went wide then became soulless as he died with a gust of air.

'NO!' I didn't even recognize my own scream as tears poured down my face.

Naruto screamed and wailed in my arms as Kakashi fell to his knees staring at the body of our great sensei. I had never felt such pain as I had that day as it suddenly started raining. Pouring in gallons from the sky as we stood there. Bodies littered the field as soon medics came to investigate. I couldn't move as I just stared at my sensei's body and Kakashi's buckled form as he cried.

He couldn't leave me, he couldn't. Not sensei, not the greatest man the world had ever known as I fell to my knees. Something broke in me that day. I believed it was my hope of a better future. I couldn't hear Naruto screaming in my arms but I felt the cold of the day.

It was after that day that I had stopped caring about what others thought or wanted. There really hadn't been much for me to continue on for as I just simply sat there. Suddenly Someone had grabbed my shoulder as I looked up into the face of Tsunade.

'hey woman wake up, woman, stop screaming!' Tsunade commanded in a distinctly male voice as my eyes snapped open. I jumped up and pulled a kunai from my shirt as I was easily disarmed and pinned against a wall by a massive and strong arm. I gasped as my heart thundered and my pulse was the only thing I could hear as slowly Kisame's voice filtered into my mind.

'Scared the fucking daylights out of me. Why the hell were you screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night?!' he snapped as I glared at where I expected his face to be. The room was pitch black as I felt him press his arm harder against my chest.

'nightmare' I gritted out as he gave a grunt and released me as I fell about a foot to the floor. My legs crumpled as Kisame caught me before my nose smashed into the floor but he didn't let me go as he simply carried me under one arm across the room.

'what are you doing?!' I snapped as he dumped me back on the couch. I blinked as I heard his bed cover rustle as he went back to bed.

'Go back to sleep if you scream again or wake me up I will resort to more favorable measures for me' he said as I looked at where he must've been lying. I glared at his tone. Maybe my earlier opinion about Kisame had been wrong, he seemed to have the same track of mind that nearly every man did. Sex.

I didn't reply and lay back down. I really was tired as I just lay there. Kisame drifted back to sleep sooner than I expected as I heard his breathing even out into slow and deep breaths. A slight snore came from Kisame's direction as I fought back a grin. The big bad shark nin snores in his sleep.

I lay back and fell back into dreamland. It seemed that whatever deity I had managed to piss off in a past life was still pissed as another round of nightmares descended upon me.

At first all I could smell was the horrid scent of burning flesh and blood as I looked down in front of me. I remembered this place. This was my first war, the first mass carnage I had ever seen and I was only 14.

I saw a shinobi run at another but before the could even meet the ninja from lightning had a pole through his chest before it was ripped out and used to decapitated another ninja.

'Don't just stand there girl help me!' I heard the medic's frustrated cry as I turned to see my mentor Kabuto staring back at me with a frustrated look as the man he was attending thrashed wildly. I tried to help hold him down as he turned toward me and screamed fighting all the harder. I grabbed his arm as for some odd reason I remember Kabuto letting go of the man's left arm.

In a split second the deranged shinobi had managed go acquire and shuriken and hurled it right into my eye. The pain was immense as I screamed slapping my hand over where the shuriken was imbedded as I heard a cold laugh. I turned around to see Kabuto standing beside a man I had hoped I would never see again. Orochimaru. That bastard was plotting something I knew he was as Kabuto laughed at me as I felt hot rivulets of blood sliding between my fingers from where the shuriken was lodged.

'Are you going to fix it yourself Kasumi? Or do I have to come to your rescue once again Kasumi? Kasumi? Kasumi?! KASUMI! KASUMI!' Kabuto's voice changed distinctly into Kisame's very irritated growl as my eyes snapped open. My scar tingled across my right eye as a dull throb started across my face like I had punched myself.

'Are you done screaming woman?' he asked as I gently touched my face. It had seemed so real, like my eye was once again split open as I traced the defined scar along my eye. The scar was a diagonal starting from the tip of my eyebrow across my eye and ended on my right cheek bone.

's-sorry' I managed to get out as I wrapped my arms around my legs. I never wanted to visit that day again. Ever. I heard a deep sigh and the couch sunk as Kisame sat down.

'You were screaming about your eye. Was that dream about that scar on your face?' Kisame asked as I burned my face into my knees. I really did not want to talk about it, but it seemed that I wasn't quite in control of my body as words seemed to tumble out of their own accord.

'I nearly lost my eye when I was 14 and sent to be a field medic. My mentor Kabuto and I were looking after a shell shocked shinobi when all I remember is Kabuto moving and the man screaming before there was a shuriken lodged in my eye.' I said quietly as I fought to keep quiet as I found my scarred eye was watering painfully as I put a hand on it. It was hot like a feverish wound as I pressed my cooler hand against it.

'I-I panicked and pulled out the shuriken and healed as much as I could before I passed out from the exertion and the pain. I've tried hundreds of times to heal this scar and it wont leave. I have a feeling the shuriken was poisoned with a tissue degenerative venom so it was barely healable.' I sighed as for some reason talking to Kisame made me feel better and more relaxed that I had in at least a decade. Kisame didn't say anything or even move as I listened to his steady even breaths before he stood and I heard him shuffle away.

I heard the door open and close as I sighed. He was going to go get the others to dispose of me I knew it. I had proven how weak I was by having bloody nightmares about silly injuries. But it wasn't the injury, it was the persons that it was connected to that made me angry. Kabuto and Orochimaru. Both of them were lying snakes that needed to be crushed by a heavy boot as I heard Kisame's heavy footsteps returning down the hall, but he was alone. The door opened and closed again as I heard him approach the couch, he knew where I was sitting. I hadn't moved as he sat beside me so that our arms were touching. Gently I felt him turn and reach up to gently move my head off of my lap as something shockingly cold pressed against my face.

He had gone and found an ice pack for me. I sat there dumbstruck in the dark as he shifted away from me again.

'You were clawing at your eye when I came to wake you up. It must hurt' he said gruffly as I heard the rustle of fabric. I assumed he looked away from me as a little smile came onto my face. Kisame may have been an S-ranked criminal but he was still a human regardless of his appearance.

'Thanks Kisame' I whispered as he gave a grunt of affirming that I was indeed welcome before I felt two strong arms lift me from the couch. I flailed for a moment as a growl rolled through his chest making my own vibrate oddly as I froze. He set me on his bed as I lay perfectly still. What was he doing? After a moment I felt him climb in beside me and lie with his back facing me but touching my own shoulders as we both lay in silence.

'For most people sleeping beside another body keeps nightmares at bay. If this works and keeps you from screaming like a banshee ever two hours then this is how you will sleep' he grumbled. I didn't say anything as I felt Kisame relax and fall asleep. It was so incredibly weird lying in the same bed as Kisame. Not because he was a man or an s-ranked criminal, no those didn't bother me at all it was the fact that it was just another person in general. I had slept alone for so long now that the concept of having others around me to comfort me or just to keep me company was a foreign feeling. I lay there beside Kisame as he shifted in his sleep and rolled over as that his breath was tickling the hairs on the back of my neck. It was oddly soothing as a wave of drowsiness washed over me.

I sighed and snuggled into the amazingly soft bed and let sleep take over blissfully welcoming the dark dreamless void that pulled me under.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

For the first time in over a decade I woke up slowly on my own. There was no rush, no panic, no hurrying around to save the dying and wounded. I just…was. I lay there half awake, half asleep, blissfully warm and had that floaty feeling as a nice clean but musky scent seemed to wrap itself around me. I really like that smell as I lay there unraveling it slowly. It was definitely a male smell based on the musky undertones as I caught something that reminded me of rain then something that reminded me of the ocean as I felt a breeze tickling the back of my neck.

I didn't fall asleep outside, maybe Kisame had opened the window when he had awoken? It didn't matter as I snuggled deeper into the beautifully soft mattress. Pure heaven. I heard a sigh as something around my hip tightened and shifted.

I froze.

Kisame was still asleep beside me as I immediately relaxed and feinted sleep as he stirred. This could be quite awkward as I felt his grip tighten before suddenly pull away completely. I felt Kisame get off of the bed and go into the bathroom as I opened my eyes and looked around the room. It must've been late morning as I heard people shifting around outside of the room as I heard the shower running in the bathroom. I sat up and ran a hand through my disheveled hair. I really needed a few items of my own like a brush, toothbrush, clothes, female items. I laughed at the thought of trying to explain that to the male Akatsuki members.

I heard the shower turn off as the door opened and Kisame walked out. I fought down the urge to blush as he was toweling off his hair wearing only a pair of pants. Kisame was definitely physically fit as I watched his muscles move as he walked over to the dresser and grabbed a mesh shirt along with a regular t-shirt.

'Morning' I said as I whipped around to look at me. His skin took an odd purple tinge as he quickly threw on the shirts.

'morning' he said gruffly as I sat there clad in a shirt and his boxers. Silence settled over the room as I recalled his disappearance for a meeting with leader last night. I assumed it was about me and what they were going to do with me.

'So how was the meeting last night?' I asked as Kisame pulled out one of his cloaks and put it on as he threw one to me.

'We have a mission but first we're going to town to get you clothing' he said as the door to the room slid open to reveal Tobi holding a pair of folded clothing.

'Morning!' he chirped and bounced into the room coming to stand in front of me as he dumped the clothing into my lap. 'Tobi found Kasumi some clothing that will fit her because Kisame's is too big for Kasumi. Tobi hopes Kasumi likes the clothes' He said cheerily as I felt the clothing. It was the same Akatsuki uniform it seemed everyone had but these were in my size instead of Kisame's.

'Thank you Tobi' I smiled as I imagined him smiling too.

'Tobi is a good boy!' he said cheerily before walking over to Kisame. 'Itachi said that to meet this afternoon to leave for the mission' he said as Kisame nodded and Tobi gave me a cheery wave before disappearing. He was a mystery to me. How anyone could be so happy as an s-ranked criminal was beyond me. Kisame was watching me as I walked into the bathroom to change. I changed quickly as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked horrid, I honestly looked like I should've been dead or very close to it with the massive black rings under my eyes and my lank hair. I sighed and washed my face noticing how little the clothes Tobi had given me actually covered. My entire mid drift was visible thought the mesh of the shirt and the pants were merely Capri pants as I left the bathroom.

Kisame stood off to once side as Deidara stood next to him grinning.

'Hey! Guess what we get to go shopping yea!' He chirped and walked over to grip me into a strong hug. Deidara was certainly affectionate as he ruffled my hair. 'you must be excited after being trapped in this room with our resident monster' he teased as Kisame gave him a glare.

'If you want to keep your tongues I suggest you shut up' he said venomously as Deidara rolled his eyes. Deidara's hug was rather friendly and was more like an older siblings than anything else as he released me and grabbed my hand. He tugged me over to where Kisame stood as I felt something distinctly lick the palm of my hand. Immediately I let go and grabbed Deidara's hand before he could snatch it away from me.

I caught sight of one of the oddest medical wonders I had ever encountered. Deidara had mouths, complete mouths with lips and everything on his hands. I gently traced one of the light pink lips before Deidara snatched his hand back.

'eh, its pretty disgusting isn't it yea?' he said barely coving the hurt in his voice as I looked up at him. There must've been an odd look on my face as both of them seemed oddly curious as I gave a small smile.

'no, it's really cool actually. Strange bloodline limit. I'll need to know how you use them' I said as both Deidara and Kisame stood there dumbstruck. Had I said something inappropriate as I was tackle hugged suddenly by the blonde effeminate man.

'AWW!!! YOU'RE JUST THE MOST ADORABLE PERSON EVER YEA!' Deidara shouted as I was gripped tightly forcing the air out of my lungs before he pulled back and grabbed my arm again. 'you know what, I'll take you out for lunch too! Its been so long since I took a pretty girl out to lunch' he said as I gave a rough laugh as we passed Kisame. Deidara looked over his shoulder at me.

'I'm not a pretty girl Deidara, just someone waiting to die' I said as Deidara looked incredibly sad for a moment before he looked irritated.

'Then we'll have to fix that. What is you favorite colour yea?' he asked as he was now pulling me down the maze of odd halls. I could hear Kisame's heavier footsteps behind us as I sighed.

'I don't have one' I said as Deidara gave me an irritated glance.

'You are the most unfeminine girl I've ever been around yea' he said as I laughed.

'The military doesn't want girly Deidara. Just functional' I said quietly as he shoved open a door and we were standing outside in a very nice courtyard. There was another clay bird as Deidara dragged me onto it. Kisame didn't follow was we took off and I watched his blue visage shrink before he was lost below me in the dense cover of the bamboo forest.

It was nice feeling the wind on my skin as Deidara let go of my hand. I noticed he had moved his blonde hair and was searching for something with an oddly shaped scope that covered his entire left eye.

'seems like the village is clear today yea' he mumbled as I saw the vague outline of a town coming closer before Deidara brought us back down to the ground. We climbed off the bird before it took off and vanished from view. Deidara took my hand again as I noticed he wasn't wearing his usual cloak just clothing similar to mine with a black hoodie pulled over the shirt. It was much cooler than I had expected in lightning as we hurried along a forest path. The dampness seemed to cling to everything as moss and lichens grew on every surface. It wasn't long before we emerged from the trees on a rather large village. There was a large gate as we approached and I watched as the guards waved at Deidara. The young man put on a large smile as I did the same and we walked through completely at ease.

'Good morning Gin!' I saw a man say as Deidara waved at him. I gave a shy smile as the man grinned and tipped his hat at me. Deidara wrapped his hand over mine and dragged me into town smiling all the while. A few girls giggled when he passed as he gave them a wave. Looks like Deidara was popular with the ladies as he looked over at me with his sky blue eyes.

'So how old are you anyway Kasumi, 20-21 yea?' he asked as I smiled a little, Deidara seemed to just be a person that when he wanted to could make you smile but yet at the same instant make you feel terrified if he chose to. I knew that I was walking on eggshells around all of them, they could kill me at a moments notice and make it look like an accident. But what was freaky was that Deidara was the best actor I had ever seen. One minute he made you believe he was happy and carefree, the next he was the criminal the Akatsuki boasted to have as right now he looked just like a happy young man out with his best friend. I looked away at a small stand of flowers.

'I'm 26, I'll be 27 this fall' I said quietly as Deidara stopped suddenly and I nearly ran into him. I looked up into amazed blue eyes as he laughed.

'Wow, I thought you were much younger than that yea' he was blushing slightly I noticed as he picked up his pace again. 'I had a bet with Kisame he said you were probably around 24 and I said 20 yea. Tobi said you were 26 and we didn't believe him yea' Deidara laughed as I felt myself smiling along with his good humour.

'I thought I looked much older than I was' I said as Deidara looked back at me and smiled once again as I noticed he was taking me to an actual women's clothing store.

'No you don't yea. Its probably because you're so short yea, you look younger and more adorable yea' He grinned and dragged me into the store as I saw pink and frills. This was going to end disastrously as a rather flamboyant man came over to where we were standing.

'Gin! Good afternoon! Can I help you and your new friend with anything?' he asked as Deidara gave the most award winning smile I had ever seen. Deidara really was a handsome man and he used it to his full ability as I noticed the store clerk looked a little infatuated with the missing nin.

'Yes, Simon, I'm actually in town to get my cousin here some new clothing yea. Poor girl just moved up here from Konoha, you know the last war they had yea. Terrible, terrible destruction and my aunt thought it would be safer here with me yea' He lied through his teeth as now I knew why Deidara was such an excellent information gatherer. He was the ultimate actor as Simon clapped his hands together and looked at me with a happy grin.

'Wonderful!' he said as Deidara coughed slightly.

'Sadly Simon we will be traveling so her clothing needs to be a little more functional yea. And a little inconspicuous because her visa isn't exactly legal yet yea' Deidara whispered as Simon nodded and went into the backroom leaving me standing beside one of the best spies I had ever seen as he turned to me with that same award winning smile. 'Piece of cake yea?' he said as I nodded and moved away from a rather vibrant pink piece of lace.

'Why did you bring me here if we were to get practical clothing?' I asked as Simon came back and dumped a heap of black and white cloth on the table. Deidara just smiled and dragged me over to the counter as Simon came around and proceeded to wrap a measuring tape around my chest, waist, hips, the inside of my leg the width of my shoulders, my neck, the length of my arms and the length of me overall. It was rather awkward as he sighed.

'Hm, try these on.' He said handing me the bundle of clothing. He didn't seem impressed as he shoved me into a booth to change. I hated shopping I really did as I put the clothing on. Firstly I noticed it was pretty much the exact thing I was wearing except in black and I touched the white fabric. It was a tunic as I pulled it over my head. It fit snugly as I looked at myself. It was pretty basic outfit as I noticed there was a hood which I pulled up. It hid my face pretty well as I noticed there were three slits. One down my but and two over my legs. Good for fighting. Maybe Deidara knew where to take my after all as I stepped out and the white cloth immediately faded to black. I blinked as the clerk smiled.

'Uh what?' I said twirling around to try to look at the clothing as Deidara caught my arm. He held me still as he smiled at Simon.

'Perfect as always Simon yea. Thank you yea' He said and took my other clothing under one arm and moved me from the shop. I still looked at the fabric. What was this fabric? It was still black as night as Deidara took my hand once again. I could feel the lips on his hands pressing gently again my palm. It was the oddest sensation as a cheery little restaurant greeted us. Deidara smiled and pulled me inside before seating us at a little booth in the back.

'So what is this fabric?' I asked as Deidara gave a wicked grin.

'Chakra absorbing fabric yea' He said simply as I just stared at him. Chakra absorbing. Right. I had heard of weapons doing such but clothing? How odd. He just sat across from me smiling as a pretty waitress came over in a rather short skirt. I was glad that my Capris fit me now and the tunic came to mid thigh as she giggled and bent over showing Deidara a rather impressive amount of cleavage for such a small girl.

'Gin, it's been so long since you've been in has work been hard?' she asked acting more like a prostitute than a waitress as I shot her an icy glare. She immediately straightened up as Deidara laughed.

'Yea, work has kept me busy yea. Hey, meet my cousin Kisa, she's moving here from fire country yea' he said smiling as she gave me a friendly grin.

'well then can I take your orders. Deidara ordered for us. Honestly I didn't care, I wasn't eating military food, everything would taste magnificent as Deidara looked at me from across the table. He was just watching me as I stared back at him.

'So, 26…Sorry but you're too old for me Kisa yea' he teased as I felt the urge to punch the young man as he laughed and ran a hand through his hair. 'You should try Kisame, he's only 29 besides I think you two hit it off last night with all that screaming yea' he said raising an eyebrow as I leant back in my chair. Deidara was a troublemaker. I could tell. He was just poking me to see if he could get a rise out of me. I had been around men much longer than he realized as I feinted shock.

'Oh, you heard that. Sorry but Kisame's just so… muscular and ….powerful. he can really make a woman scream for more' I said as Deidara looked like he was going to die as he went bright red and actually looked a little embarrassed as I laughed. 'Just kidding, I was having nightmares last night and Kisame said that if I didn't shut up and sleep beside him to keep from screaming and waking him up in the middle of the night he'd kill me.' I said. Sure I was exaggerating but I'm more than sure that if I had screamed one more time last night I would've been dead in a ditch somewhere this morning.

'Ah, Kisame was never one for pussy footing around yea' Deidara leant back in his chair balancing it on two legs. I picked listlessly as my paper napkin as I looked up at the blonde man. He was still watching me with a smirk as I gave him a flash of a smile.

'I think you and Tobi are the only people who really like me in the…family' I said lamely as Diedara grinned at me cover up. 'Hidan just wants to have sex with me, Zetsu I don't know, Itachi seems to hate me because I'm from Konoha, and to Kisame I'm a prisoner that wakes him up screaming like a lunatic in the middle of the night.' I sighed and plunked my head on the table as I felt Deidara's hand gently rest on my shoulder.

'yea, well our family is a bunch of weidos yea? Don't let it get you down besides I think Kisame likes you more than he leads on yea' Deidara said as I gave a dry laugh. I was talking to an Akatsuki member, to an Akatsuki member who could rip me to shreds with no problems at a moments notice and he was comforting me. What was wrong with this picture?

'yes, I guess so. But Gin what am I doing here?' I asked I had my eyes closed as my forehead pressed against the cool surface of the table as I Deidara pull back and sigh through his teeth making a whistle like noise.

'Well, you're here to be our medic yea. You're going to be family as soon as you get the ring, yea. That's your next adventure with Kisame and Itachi to Sound to pick up your ring yea' Deidara said as I blinked. A ring? I had to get a ring? But I already had a ring as I felt the hidden chain still looped in my bra. Was it a special ring that only the Akatsuki had?

I looked up as Deidara flashed me his green ring on his right index finger before hiding his hands from view as our waitress came back. She set two plates down with delicious smelling soup and sandwiches. Deidara gave me a nod as I thanked the girl and tore into the meal. I was still getting used to real food again. I was going to get fat, well, fatter if I didn't start training once again. I heard the front door open as I glanced over to see a massive man shuffle in. Deidara waved at him as he came over and sat at our table.

He was a frightening man hidden behind large black baggy clothing and a black mask as he sat down and I heard the chair groan under his weight.

'I see you're back Sasori' Deidara mumbled into his lunch as I shifted down the table to make some room for him. He glanced at me then back at Deidara.

'Leader sent me to get you, you're taking too long and here I find you eating lunch with… a hostage' he said gruffly as Deidara gave him a dark look and finished the sandwich dusting the crumbs from his fingers. I was pretty sure I saw the tongues try to catch a few crumbs from his fingers.

'Kisa's family and is going to sound tonight to get her ring back.' Deidara said with steel as the larger man gave a gruff laugh that sounded more like chafing metal on metal than a laugh as the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I had finished long before Deidara and stood up as he left some money on the table. Exact change I noticed as we all headed out into the bright midday light.