Chapter 3 - Trapped Behind Her Wall

On her way to work Pinkie could smell the moist air, and noticed that the place already looked a little healthier after the rainstorm. There was also an unusual bustle of ponies carrying equipment. When she got to the Tool Shed she could see part of the town square down the street, and noticed that something was being constructed. Possibly some kind of stage?

"Oh, good morning Pinkie Pie," Mrs. Plough said with a cheerful smile as the pink pony entered the store.

"Emm, I don't suppose you know what's going on out there, do you?"

"What, haven't you heard?" the mare asked.

The blank expression and shrug answered that.

"There's a town assembly taking place over the weekend, and I heard that Princess Celestia herself will be making an appearance."

Oh no, Pinkie thought, I can't let Celestia know I'm here. No doubt Twilight would have written to her about what happened to Rainbow Dash. She forced a smile, and said, "That's good news."

"I'll say," replied the older pony, "It's a rare honor for her to come here. I also heard that the council will be proposing plans for a railway station."

"That sounds good," Pinkie replied continuing her feigned interest. "Anyway, I better get started," she said as she continued into the store room.

The first thing she saw was her fellow assistant picking up small assorted tools scattered on the floor. Breathing a sigh, she approached him and helped out. As they both put the stuff back in the box, Pinkie noticed her right hoof was trembling slightly and quickly tried to hold it still with the other. Topsy stopped and looked at the pink pony with concern.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Um, yeah I'm fine." She consciously put on a brave face as an 'everything's okay' sign, and she went back to putting the scattered tools back in the box.

It was close to midday and ponies were starting to gather at the stage in the town square, talking amongst themselves. It was not long before a large crowd had assembled.

Royal guards showed up and took their places. Another few armored ponies at the side held up trumpets and started their fanfare. The crowd fell silent and glanced over at the sound, and then looked around at the sky. One called and pointed, and they all turned.

Pulled by two royal escorts, Princess Celestia stood upon her chariot as it glided through the sky, and descended upon the small town. The ponies in attendance became increasingly enthusiastic, and a few started to cheer and stomp their feet. The chariot touched down a short distance away and slowly rolled to a stop near the side of the stage. As the princess stepped off the chariot and made her way up, the audience became quiet again and bowed down.

An elder turquoise mare greeted the princess. "As mayor of Fillyshire, I would like to welcome you to our town, Princess Celestia. I am humbled by your visit."

The princess gave her a respectful nod. "You are welcome, Mayor Quinn." But then her bright demeanor dulled to a purely formal one. "I assume you know the main reason I arranged this assembly?"

The mayor scuffed one of her front hooves self-consciously. "Yes, I am aware."

"I am disappointed that the situation has been allowed to escalate this far," Celestia said. "I had to get pegasus ponies from a nearby town to bring some much needed rain, otherwise your crops would have surely failed."

The mayor looked down, chastised.

"Don't worry," the princess added with a softer tone, "I am not here to throw punishment around, or to guilt anypony. But whatever is going on, it needs to be sorted out."

Quinn looked back up at the princess, nodding. "Yes of course, Princess."

Later on, it was time for Pinkie to head home, but before that she went to the town square where the meeting had taken place. Everything was set up but it was currently empty, and the only sound was from the nearby ponies going about their day in the market.

While glancing around, she spotted a couple of pegasus ponies walking along one of the streets, heading towards the square. One was a brown male pony, and the other one he was talking to…

The sight had struck her with fear. The rainbow mane was unmistakable, but it couldn't be her. It was not possible, not after what happened that day. When the brown pegasus opened his wings and took off, the pony that looked like Rainbow Dash turned and noticed her.

"Pinkie Pie?" she asked. A smile came across her face and took a few steps forward. "Wow, I never expected to see you here." Why does she sound happy to see me?

Pinkie took a slow step backwards, and lifted her right foreleg in a nervous posture. "This isn't right, you can't be here," she said more to herself than anything.

Clearly misunderstanding, Dash replied, "Yeah I know, I'm supposed to be responsible to Ponyville's weather, but Celestia brought me here because somepony hasn't been doing their job." She sighed; if there was one thing Dash hated, it was being given extra work. Then the smile was back.

The pink pony continued to look at her with trepidation.

"Come on; don't tell me you're still upset with that incident several weeks ago, are you?"

What, you mean the incident where we came to blows, Pinkie thought, and I heard your neck snap like a twig after I fell on you? She started to slowly move backwards. "No. Leave me alone!" she yelled, with grief and fear thick in her voice, as she turned and ran. Just like that day, her mind was in a blind panic as she ran towards home.

A few minutes later, she entered the apartment and closed the door behind her. She collapsed in a heap as soon as the door had clicked shut; her breathing erratic, and it felt like her heart was going to beat its way out of her chest. As she started to settle down and the panic slowly left her, she found herself deeply troubled and confused by what she had seen.

What happened out there? If Dash at least acknowledged the fight they had, one could have argued that maybe she didn't die from the fall. But she was acting like it never even happened… like the way the ponies acted in that dream the night before.

Later on, she returned to the basement to look at her painting. "What are you hiding?" Pinkie thought aloud. "Why is it so important that you be completed?" While she gazed at it, maybe expecting it to somehow answer her, she noticed that the haziness had gotten slightly worse. Perhaps the stress was just having a weird effect on her.

With the nagging feeling continuing to assert itself, she gave an exasperated sigh and decided to head back up and lie down on the couch. Just another session of drifting off and going into autopilot. On reflection, she was unsettled by how complicit she had become to this. Aside from the pictures, she really had no idea what she did during these blackouts… or more importantly, why she couldn't remember.

It was Saturday, and Pinkie awoke (in bed this time) to the sound of bustling ponies. From the sound of it, today's town meeting would be starting soon. That's nice, she thought as she lethargically rolled over and dozed off again.

After a while, she was vaguely aware that she was dreaming. It was the familiar sensation during a blackout, but then she realized that she was waking up. There was something different… something wrong.

Light and sound started to come to her, and like a hammer to her senses, she was standing and surrounded by loud noise. She was in the middle of a busy street.

"Hey, are you okay?" said a male pony to her side.

She turned to look at him. "Umm, I guess."

"Are you sure? I saw you walking by, and you suddenly stopped. For a moment, I thought you were going to faint."

"Yeah, I just got a little light-headed, that's all," she lied.

As she walked on, it did beg the question, what was she doing out here? But the thought was forced aside by a sound that made her heart skip a beat. It was Princess Celestia's chariot rolling down the street, and heading her way. She could not run because she would be seen for sure; so the only option was to stick to the side and try not to let the princess see her.

Pinkie slunk to the side of the street, and pretended to look at something while making a point of facing away from the incoming chariot. She felt her heart pounding as it slowly got closer, and she could hear the princess talking to the pony bystanders.

The seconds slowly ticked by and the tension was driving her crazy. Unable to hold her position, she turned around to check. She saw that the chariot was just passing by her. Just then the princess turned, and for a moment she swore that their eyes met.

Oh no, the princess spotted me, she thought despairingly. It's all over.

But Celestia just continued on her way without a word, resuming her interaction with the townsfolk. She dropped her head and breathed a trembling sigh. Her legs felt so weak, she thought for a moment that she would collapse. Not wanting to push fate, she headed off as quickly and discretely as possible the other way.

Soon after, she made it back home without incident. She returned to the basement to find that the painting was finally complete. It depicted a stormy and menacing landscape, and a group of ponies stood together in the middle. They were marked and scathed, and gazed outwards in fear and dread towards the hideous shadows that surrounded them. Unfortunately, Pinkie's limited art skill dampened the effect a little.

Looking again, the ponies appeared to have their backs against a strange white brick wall. She wasn't sure why, but something about it filled her with unease.

Her feelings turned to frustration. "Okay it's finished, now what?" she said aloud. Her face grimaced with anger, and with her right foreleg she thumped a desk to the side of her. She then swung her hoof across the surface, scattering the drawings that lay on top of it.

Not wanting to look at the picture anymore, she threw a sheet over the top of it and left the basement. All of a sudden, she was overcome with a dizzy spell, and she leaned against the couch for support. "What… what's happening to me?" It came out as faint murmur as she slipped down to the floor, and the world faded away.

Once again, she felt herself in this foggy undefined place. The pink pony looked around, hoping to see or hear at least something. After a little while, something started to emerge; something pink. Her eyes went wide as she gazed upon an image of herself, only this one had puffy curly hair.

"You," Pinkie said. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Yes," replied the other pony, "I'm afraid I don't have much time. You have to listen to me."

"Okay then, tell me why you left me hanging when Celestia was approaching. Do you have any idea what the princess would have done if she had caught me?"

"Yes I do… more so than you apparently." With a sigh, the other pony said, "Look, I am not some alternate personality. I represent a side of you that you've been desperately trying to block out, along with your old life. But it doesn't make it go away. Instead, it just caused a divide. Sometimes that side asserts itself, but you have distanced yourself so much, you blind yourself to what's going on."

"What are you talking about, I don't choose to blind myself to anything," straight-haired Pinkie responded. "Besides, I saw that nasty painting you did."

Sadly shaking her head, the image said, "That sounds nothing like my picture."

"Hey, I know what I saw," Pinkie protested. "I got a pretty good look at it, with the storm clouds, the frightened ponies… and that creepy brick wall-" The curly-haired double suddenly looked startled.

"Oh no, it's already started," the image said, with panic in her voice.

"What are you talking about? What's started?" Pinkie asked with an arched eyebrow, confused by the sharp emotional turn. But just then, the other pony started to fade and become transparent.

"You have to listen to me; you are running out of time." Her voice was slowly fading with each word. "You need to stop running! Embrace what's real, it's your only way out…"

After the image of herself disappeared, Pinkie had blacked out for a while. Eventually, she came to and noticed she was outside again. This time it was the side of a road, but when she turned around the pink pony was taken aback to see that she was just outside Ponyville. While she was unconscious, the other side of her must've brought her there, she reasoned.

"Maybe that's it," she thought aloud. "My conscience has been calling me back, to do the right thing and face up to what I did."

Pinkie was walking along the bottom of the ridge by the lake, and the spot where the incident happened was just up ahead. Just before arriving, she tripped over something.

"Oww, what gives?" she complained, getting back up. Cutting across the path was a neatly dug trench. Looking down, she could see some white bricks inside it. It kind of looked like a foundation for something. "But why would they build it across a path?" she thought aloud.

Pinkie reached her destination, and was standing roughly where she had gotten up from the fall. She was looking over to where Dash had lay motionless on the ground. There was nothing here now, except a few patches of shrubs; one of which seemed a little misshapen.

Just then, she heard a familiar pony's voice. She quickly turned to see Twilight and Applejack approaching.

"Gee Twilight," Applejack said, "look who decided to come back." The lack of enthusiasm in her voice made Pinkie's heart sink.

"Yes, I've come back," Pinkie replied, lowering her head. She walked with them back into Ponyville without another word. What she did not see was, in the ditch not far back, new bricks were materializing.

There was a knock on Pinkie's front door. After a long moment of silence, it was followed by another louder knock.

"Pinkie, are you there?" It was Topsy's voice. He tried the door and it opened, so he peered inside. With no sign of movement, he went in. "Pinkie Pie," he said and glanced around, "I hope you don't mind me coming over. It's just that I was starting to worry, and I thought I'd check to see if-" he suddenly spotted her behind the couch, "-oh no, Pinkie!"

He quickly went over to her, and found she wasn't moving. In a panic, he searched for signs of life. She was breathing, but only faintly, and she was completely unresponsive. "Don't worry, I'll get help!" he said, slightly panic-stricken, as he turned and headed for the door.

Topsy Turvy headed toward the medical centre, going as fast as he could without going into a full gallop. He told the pony at reception, and they dispatched a couple of medical ponies to check on her and bring her in. The medical assistants returned a little later, carrying her on a stretcher towards an unused room, accompanied by a pony doctor.

When the doctor came back out, Topsy approached him. "Do you know what's wrong with her?" he asked, sounding anxious.

"Well, all I can say for now is that she appears to be in a coma."

"She's going to pull through, right?" he asked.

"I wish I could tell you, but I really don't know; not until we've done more tests," the doctor told him regretfully.

For a few minutes, Topsy stood there pondering what to do. He was going to sit by her side, but then something even better crossed his mind. He knew that she was from Ponyville, and there was surely someone there who cared about her. Also, maybe having someone from her old life here might help her to pull through, he concluded.

On that thought he headed home to get some money, and then took a carriage ride to Ponyville.

Pinkie Pie was walking along with Twilight and Applejack, and she was becoming nauseas with anxiety, dreading what was going to happen next.

"Hey Pinkie, would you mind waiting here?" Twilight asked. "Applejack and I have a couple of things we need to do."

"Okay," Pinkie replied pensively. Something seemed off, and her unease was being accompanied by straight-up confusion.

After they walked off in different directions, Pinkie stood there by herself. Quickly feeling bored, she decided to take a wander. It had been several weeks since she was last here, and would be nice to look around.

Just after she started, she noticed something white a short distance away. Trotting a little closer, she realized it was a wall made of the same bricks as the thing that cut across her path before. This one was about her height. What made it worse was that she recognized it. It looked like the wall in her painting.

It started to worry her, because this wall was completely out of place with everything else. It was as if somepony arbitrarily picked a spot, and then started building. Also, no one else seemed to pay it any attention. As she looked at it, the feeling of unease was building up inside her, and a need to get away from it. Anxiously, she continued down the street.

"Hey there Pinkie Pie, haven't seen you around in a while," said a pony who's name seemed to escape her. "Is there something wrong?"

"Umm, it's nothing," Pinky replied, not exactly honest. Though she didn't feel like trying to explain it, that some new wall was scaring her. She threw another glance back, to check that it was out of sight. There was no sign of it.

Just as she turned to face forward again, she gave out a frightened yelp. Out of nowhere, the brick wall was a few paces in front of her, and was now several times her height. Now very much afraid, she started to back off slowly, not taking her eyes off it. After a long moment of back stepping, her rear bumped into something solid. Hesitantly, she turned and the wall was now behind her. Taking frightened glances, terror started to take hold when she discovered that the wall had now completely surrounded her. Overwhelmed with fear and helplessness, she let out a long anguished scream.

It was now evening and Topsy Turvy arrived in Ponyville. Getting off the taxi carriage, he looked around feeling a little envious, as the place seemed more lively and colorful.

He proceeded to ask around, looking for anypony who knew Pinkie. The typical response was that they knew her, but not very well. It left him feeling confused as most of the ponies were describing her as cheerful and upbeat, almost to a fault.

"Are we talking about the same Pinkie," he thought aloud, "the Pinkie who keeps to herself most of the time?"

He approached a purple unicorn and asked the usual question, but the reaction this time was very different.

"Yes I know her. What's this about?" there was anxiety in her voice.

"You see, I came here to try and find anypony who knew her, perhaps someone she was friends with."

"I'm her friend," she responded, then paused. "Well, I thought we were," she added with her eyes downcast.

"What do you mean?" Topsy asked.

"I don't know. One day she started acting strange – like acting upset and offended, but I'm not even sure why – then suddenly she ran away, and I haven't seen her since." She looked hurt and confused, and then looked back up at him. "Do you know where she is?"

"Well she has been living in Fillyshire for a number of weeks now."

The look on her face seemed to confirm that it was roughly the time she disappeared. Before he could give the bad news, she said, "I better go tell the others!" Just like that, she turned and bolted off.

Hurrying to catch up with her, Topsy said, "I'm glad to have met one of her old friends. I never got to learn much about her past. What's your name, by the way?"

Slowing down a bit, she turned her head to face him. "Oh, my name is Twilight Sparkle."

"Hold on, you mean *the* Twilight Sparkle? The pony who was personally taught by Celestia herself?"

Feeling a little modest, Twilight said, "Yeah, I guess you could say that. So what's your name, and how do you know Pinkie Pie?"

"Well, my name is Topsy-" he was cut off when he tripped on an uneven patch on the ground. "Topsy Turvy." The unicorn helped him up, and they both returned to a steady trot. "Anyway, I'm just a co-worker. She has been working at one of the stores in Fillyshire."

"I look forward to hearing what Pinkie has been up to all this time," said Twilight.

"And I would love to hear more about her, back before she left. From the ponies I've talked to, she sounds like she was very different back then." Something dawned on him and he slowed down.

"What is it?" Twilight asked, slowing to match his speed.

"I'm afraid there's something else… and it's not good." Seeing those big worried eyes on the purple pony's face, it was more difficult to say than he thought. "I don't know what happened, but she's hurt. She's in Fillyshire's medical centre… in a coma or something."

She gasped, and was clearly upset. "Oh no, Pinkie Pie!" She continued on her way to get the others, but this time with a sense of urgency, and Topsy struggling to keep up.

Trapped inside the white brick prison, Pinkie clenched her eyes shut and told herself that it wasn't real, but she opened her eyes and it was still there. Looking up, the wall was now far too high and flat to even consider climbing. While looking at the wall, she started to hear something.

"Hello, is anypony out there? I'm trapped, please help me!" she called out. The sounds were not coming from outside, those sounds had ceased. This was something else. Whatever it was, it seemed to be coming from inside the wall itself. Moving closer to listen, it was hard to make out as several voices were overlapping. Continuing to listen, one of the echoes started to get louder and more distinct. There was yelling, and she noticed it sounded like her. Then she heard Rainbow Dash's voice.

Just then the wall dissolved and disappeared, and she found herself standing on top of a ridge, and she turned to see… herself. The image of herself was looking up at an angle. Following her gaze, she saw Dash flapping her wings and slowly gaining altitude. With grief, she realized it was a repeat of the incident. Dash swooped and tackled the other her and they were both grappling and rolling down the slope.

Then suddenly a feeling of falling and bouncing off something. When she got up, she was at the bottom of the slope. Just like on that day, she slowly approached Dash who lay motionless on the ground.

In a fit of anger, she looked toward the sky and yelled, "Why? Why do you keep bringing me back here?" Her voice then faded to a hurt tone little louder than a whisper. "I've been trying so hard to escape it, yet I'm forced to constantly relive it. It's not fair."

She gazed down at Dash with sorrow and resignation. "I don't know, but it's like I always knew something like this would happen. Whenever I thought about the happiness I felt, it's like deep down there was a lingering doubt, wondering if I really deserved it. It's like a part of me expected it to be taken away, or to do something to lose it."

The last time she was here, she was in shock and what happened hadn't really sunk in yet. Since then, there was scarcely a day that went by without her thinking about it. And now, she was looking down at her and it all looked just as real as the day it happened.

She started to quiver all over as the painful emotions started to rush to the surface. Her eyes welled up and she slowly leaned down to rest her head against the side of Dash's neck. Before her head even touched down, she was grimacing, her breathing had turned to sobs, and she wailed as all the grief and guilt and sorrow came flowing out of her.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, "I'm so sorry Rainbow Dash. I never meant for this to happen." She remained there leaning against her side, though she wasn't sure how long, and she started to settle down.

When she lifted her head, something caught her eye. Just a couple of paces away, it was the same misshaped shrub she saw before. But just then, there was a feeling like something was pulling her away… and once again, she was gazing at a plain white brick wall. Only this time, the light was noticeably dimmer.

It was now late into the evening, and the sun was close to setting. Pinkie was in a hospital bed, lying on her side facing a window, with her eyes still partially open. Despite being comatose there was something keeping her eyes fixed slightly open… as if gazing towards something. The nurses decided just to leave it and periodically administer eye drops.

There was a bustle of hushed voices outside, and several ponies came into the room. The one in front was Twilight.

"Hello," the unicorn said to the nurse, "We came to visit and see how she was doing."

"May I ask who you are?" the nurse pony asked. "I'm sorry but it's just I don't recognize any of you."

Rarity replied, "No, we are not from around here. We are friends of hers from Ponyville, and it took almost two hours to get here in that cramped little—" she suddenly stopped when she saw Twilight giving her a look.

"Okay then," the nurse said. "Well I'm done here, so I'll leave you ponies to it. Just be mindful of the authorized visiting hours."

They all gathered closer to the bed.

"Oh Pinkie Pie," Twilight said sorrowfully, "What was going on inside that head of yours? Why did you leave like that?" Despite knowing she probably couldn't hear (and definitely couldn't answer), she felt the need to voice the questions.

Fluttershy added, "We've all been very worried about you."

Among the group, Rainbow Dash stepped forward with a pained expression. "I always wondered if you left because of something I did. I still remember the way you looked at me right before you stormed off. And the way you reacted when I saw you yesterday; it really worried me." Then with an edge of pain and fear in her voice, she said, "Please pull through."

Author's Notes: Just one more chapter to go, which is all about Pinkie's inner struggle between reality and the delusions created by her own fears. Anyway, I'd like to hear what you think so far - though if it's corrections/nitpicks, please send as a PM.