Author Notes: There is something about diving back into a world that you have loved after a long time. It isn't the fact that you get to see the same thing you saw long time back, but instead it is in the fact that you get to see the same old things in a new light. The scene hasn't changed, but your heart has grown. This isn't much but this did make me realize that I do not wish to forget the little things. They make me happy. I hope they do the same for you. Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander have done such an amazing job in bringing our beloved characters to life. Heartfelt thanks to them.
This fleeting set of moments is set right after the end of fourth episode of the first season ("She Works Hard for the Money").
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It feels like I am getting to know her in all the new ways. She is a brilliant detective, so good at what she does. Dedicated, brave, sincere, willful and even stubborn, but in a good way most of the times and she has a heart full of empathy and adoration. Yes, she has a beautiful heart. She will give a stranger everything she has if that would make a difference. But this little talk we are having, this is new to me. She is all these things, but we are still friends who work together. I knew she cares for me but she is someone who would care for everyone. She is a giver. I can't in my right heart take advantage of that sweetness and gentleness that is Jane. That does make me uncertain though. I wasn't sure if I would ever be privy to the things that Jane would think twice telling anyone in her family. But it seems that the fact that I seem so far off on that list, I am the closest. Not the best sense really, but you understand. It is Jane. Nothing ever makes sense to me when it comes to her. She defies logic and she wins over hearts. She is extraordinary in every way I could ever envision.
"Awww… Jane…" I sway in order to hold back the tears of awe and admiration that are just on the brink of spilling. Even then I couldn't help smile into it. I know that only she could do all that what she said but it feels as if I am seeing all of her in a new light. It is like getting to see the sky when you really don't expect to see anything new but the usual amazing blue open firmament expanding into the horizon that you already know you admire but then in this one moment when you see it, it surprises you with a inexplicable blend of hues that it weaves on its blank canvas just with a little light; I am in undeniable awe.
"What?" she stares back at me. There is that innocence I can't help smile into.
"I think that's really…" It is hard for me to not tell her everything that is running through my mind. "That's really sweet!"
"O gross! Give me some wine Maura…" There. Classic Jane deflection. Is there anything I don't love about this person?
I laugh it off as I contain the admiration and just follow the ritual of eating with my best friend.
Several minutes after the dinner, we are sitting on the couch, Jane flipping through the channels of the TV to find something good while Joe Friday is licking my feet, after having thoroughly admired both of Jane's. Bass would feel so beloved if he had Joe with him all the time.
"You amaze me, you know that?" I eventually say it out loud.
"What? How? What did I do?" Jane questions back.
"Nothing." I smile and apparently I can't seem to wipe it off because Jane pokes.
"Hey! Tell me!"
"Ow!" I feign hurt and pout though I slowly give in to her smile and smile back. "It is just you. The person you are. The chances that you exist, that is, well that is rare. "
"O is that so!" Jane raises an eyebrow to emphasize. She is adorable no matter what.
I slide closer to her and rest my head on her shoulder and as I close my eyes to take in her warmth, I whisper." Yes. Thank you Jane."
"For what? You are being awfully ambiguous today!"
"For letting me see you. All of you… Because this, you, you deserve utmost admiration."
"Was there something in your wine? You are being weird. I am just me Maura, nothing special. I don't even know all the things that you do."
Something warms my heart there and then. And as it spreads all though my senses, I dismiss her with a wave of a hand, and hug her arm a little tighter. She gives me the solace of her silent affection and I revel in it. I can't find the courage to tell her that all those things don't really matter. She doesn't even realize that being her is the best thing that could ever be. She is Jane. That is it. And the most amazing thing is that of all the people in the whole big world, I am given the chance to appreciate her. I am blessed.
