To Be As Strong

By Jazzbo22

Jazzbo22 hotmail . com

Cloud's dream was to join SOLDIER. He didn't anticipate meeting Sephiroth or Zack, or the unexpected emotions he would feel for them.

SephirothxCloudxZack –yaoi, language

A/N: Many apologies for those eager to read this, and my lack of posting. If any of you are reading my Bullet Catchers fic, I have a slightly longer explanation. I've just finished an incredibly hard year and finally earned my degree, so that was all I had time for. I never forgot about this, and I ABSOLUTELY intend to finish! Who doesn't love sephxcloudxzack? Thank you all SO MUCH for reviewing, I continue to be greatly inspired from your encouragement (hint hint hint). I'm so glad and SO happy that I have you hooked, after only two chapters! If you love it up til now, you're gonna love what's to come! Anyways, lets get on to the reading. I proposed in my Bullet Catchers fic an idea of starting a blog/deviant art page to showcase my artwork, as well as artwork I've received, and maybe some shorter stories? Some original stories? Are you interested? Let me know!

Without further hesitation…

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Chapter Three

Six in the morning was a deathly time. Cloud had gotten to bed at eleven, so he felt rested enough. Something about getting up early – even if you had a full night's sleep, you were still tired. It was just the nature of the hour.

Judging from slightly green faces and blood-shot eyes, he could see who fell into the party trap last night, and got wasted. Gabe had been one of them – he was groaning quietly, clutching his stomach. Rob poked him in the ribs.

"We told'ja not to go get shit-faced. They do that for a reason, you know."

"I thought I would stay for only a little while…but the drinks kept coming…"

"And you turned into a fish. Yeah, yeah. You're going to be the one paying for it after this."

On cue, first class SOLDIER Andrew Darmouth met them in the field. He was a big, imposing presence – like all the other friggin' first class SOLDIERs – and the kindness Cloud had witnessed at the welcome ceremony wasn't in his face anymore. SOLDIER Darmouth had turned into a hard-ass.

"Alright girls. Since this is your first run, I'm going to go a little easier on you. In the future, we will start running right at 0600. That means you will be stretched, warmed up and ready to go by then. However, you can't do it if you don't know how, so I will walk you through the routine. First you want to loosen up your shoulders…"

Cloud, along with the other cadets, followed Darmouth's instructions very carefully. There were plenty of rumours going around already, and according to gossip, SOLDIER Darmouth was a tough one. He was a top choice for field assignments, he didn't have a shred of sympathy for stragglers, and the number one rumour of the morning – he once completed a ten mile run on two broken legs. The man was a tank. Cloud was frightened.

"I don't care if you're going to puke, puke and get it over with. I don't want to hear your whining. SOLDIER is about siphoning out the weak and grooming the strong. If you can't cut it, this isn't the program for you. Join the general military, or get a desk job. Let's go."

Then they were off. Within the first mile Cloud could feel stitches forming in his side. What pushed him forward was his dream. SOLDIER! He wanted to be one so badly. He wanted to turn his scrawny, girlboy frame into something worthwhile. He wanted to be a man. Maybe he didn't have the respect of the people of Nibelheim, but he was going to earn it in Shinra. He would meet General Sephiroth, be one of his prime fighters, and he would get first class SOLDIER, hunkilicious man Zack Fair, to notice him. Maybe he was living in a daydream, but it fueled him. To get through this run, he needed his ambitious imagination.

"Come on pansies, we're not even halfway there yet!" Yes, he definitely needed to call on his imagination to survive.

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Zack met Andrew in the cafeteria. The cadets were segregated from the SOLDIERs, as it should be. You had to earn your place as a SOLDIER to sit among the elite. Raising a dark eyebrow at the slop dished out on his plate, Zack shot Andrew a pained look.

"This oatmeal crap again eh? I swear it isn't even that instant stuff. That tastes good. This tastes…"

"It's not meant to taste good. We have this every Thursday. The only thing that's redeeming about it is it's nutritional benefits."

"Yada, yada. I know. Muscle rebuilders, vitamins, that shit. Can't they sprinkle a little cinnamon on it or something? Even I make better food than this, and that's not saying much."

Zack caught Andrew's knowing grin. They had this same conversation every Thursday, when the questionable oatmeal was served. It was just routine that Zack bitched about it, Andrew coming to its defense.

"So tell me, superstar Darmouth, how did these bright new cadets do on their first run?" Taking a seat at one of the tables, Andrew chuckled. Zack took a bite of the sludge. Man, that shit was gross.

"To tell you the truth, they did better than I expected. A few pukers, but I think that had more to do with the cadets who attended the parties last night." Oh yeah. Zack grinned, resting his chin in his palm. The good ol' 'welcoming parties'. Every year they get a few cadets. Fun times.

"But other than that, their endurance looks good. I'm fairly pleased with the screening process in Junon. I think we have a some future first class SOLDIERs in there." Andrew took a bite of the slop.

"Man, this shit is nasty." Zack chuckled.

"My thoughts exactly. So, any accelerated learners? Or is it too early to tell?" Accelerated learners were fun. Zack had been one himself. Usually an accelerated learner would get the opportunity to study one on one with a SOLDIER instructor. It formed a stronger bond than if the cadet had been part of a larger classroom. It sounded unfair, but it was easier to get to know someone when you were spending quality time together.

Zack had first studied with Angeal for a substantial amount of time, but was transferred to Sephiroth when Angeal was sent out on a mission. And well, look where they were now…

"Too early to tell. I think after the first month we'll be able to see who the brighter bulbs are."

Not to say studying with Sephiroth was easy. Far, far from it. Zack could clearly remember all the times Sephiroth beat the shit out of him, beat him to the ground, and pushed him to the brink. The almighty General didn't like being an accelerated instructor, and he wanted to break Zack as quickly as possible so he could focus on more meaningful things.

As if Zack would give up. He didn't care about Sephiroth's rank or reputation. Even when he couldn't move, he still glared defiantly. He wouldn't surrender. He would fight him to the death. His death, but he would do it. SOLDIER was what he wanted, and he wouldn't let General Sephiroth, the most frightening man in the world, keep it from him.

Something had happened over the course of their training though. Sephiroth actually started to respect him. Respect his drive, or respect his spirit, whatever. Zack had known the moment it happened, when they started working together instead of Sephiroth beating him down all the time.

And during that time something else had happened. Who knew his ferociousness and fire would get the General all hot and flustered? Yeah right. Zack tried to imagine Sephiroth hot and flustered, like a blushing school girl. Mmm hmmm. That'll be the day. It was more like, Sephiroth saw Zack was hot and flustered, and he had a mutual attraction, so he took what he wanted. Zack had been more than happy to oblige. That was a long time ago now. Felt like it, at least.

"Yeah, we should see more of their personalities in a month's time. The hero worship will have worn off a bit, and they'll start to hate us for the abuse we're gonna put them through. It'll be fun."

"Remember when it was us?" Andrew reminisced inbetween mouthfuls.

"I've tried to erase it from my mind. I can't recall a day where I wasn't in pain." Zack groaned. "That's why I feel a little sorry for the cadets. They're so small. The first month is always the worst."

"They'll gain muscle mass soon. The little twerps will start to get big, and with that, cocky. We'll have to make sure they know who the authority is." Andrew warned. Zack knew that to be the truth. He had been an instructor long enough to witness the change from insecure newcomer, to cocky cadet, and then, after breaking them in, respectable SOLDIER. Quite a transition.

"Alright Professor Darmouth, I have a class to teach in fifteen minutes. I'll catch ya later." Hurriedly scarfing down the last of his gooey breakfast, Zack gave his comrade a messy grin and waved his departure. Andrew just rolled his eyes.

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Cloud didn't know what was worse – the terrible, painful run that morning, or the breakfast he was forced to have. Supposedly all the meals served were highly nutritious, and he'd feel the benefits over time, but right now it had settled into an uncomfortable lump in his stomach. More than ever he missed his mother's breakfast – as an only child, he was most definitely spoiled. Home-made waffles, sausages, eggs…his mouth was watering just thinking about it.

Nutrition 101 was a complete bore, and it took all his energy not to fall asleep in class. As his eyes started to droop, Eric elbowed him.

"You're gonna suck when we get tested on this, if you keep nodding off. Wipe the drool off your face."

Cloud swiped his jaw with the back of his hand. There really was drool there. Holy crap. Eric was right – he would be done for on the test. Grabbing his pencil, Cloud started to scribble down the notes on the board. He guessed later on, when his body started to develop muscle, he would need to know what to give it.

"Now make sure you write your name up for an appointment! This will be the last time I remind you. Get out of here!" Doctor Wright waved them away. Class dismissed. Cloud paused outside the room, chewing absently on the end of his pencil. It would be exciting once he had a bigger, stronger body. Scribbling 'Cloud Strife' beside a timeslot, he made sure to include it in his planner. If he missed his appointment, he'd be in deep water. The SOLDIER training program didn't tolerate absent-minded cadets.

'Dumb blonde' The kids in Nibelheim used to call him that. Aside from his mother, he was one of the only fair-haired kids in town. Mountaineers tended to be darker in complexion. He definitely wasn't, though he tanned dark in the summer. His hair would forever remain a striking blonde, much to his displeasure.

Hand to hand combat was next. Cloud loved the rotating schedule – it kept him on his toes. Everyday was new and interesting. And most of all, he didn't have to wait until the afternoon to see Zack. Heart thumping wildly in his chest, Cloud felt his breath come quicker. Out of his classes, this one was his favourite. He had Darmouth for general fitness as well as weapons, but he had Zack for hand to hand. Possibly another course, since navigation, battle tactics, and outdoor survival came later in the term. All instructors were labeled, 'TBA'. It looked promising.

Stepping into the training center, he joined his new group of bleary-eyed friends. They were ruined from the morning run, and the caf food. Strangely enough, Cloud's spirits had raised instantly upon entering the training facility. And well, in anticipation of Zack. God, he had to get his feelings in check. SOLDIERs were a thousand percent more vicious than the bullies in Nibelheim. If they suspected for one second that he was crushing on an instructor, that would be the end of him.

Zack came bouncing into the room, folders tucked under his arm. He looked even better the second time 'round. Cloud had to make a conscious effort not to stare dreamily. That would be embarrassing.

"Hello young cadets. Shinra's bright future. How are you all feeling this morning?"

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Judging by the groans he was met with, Zack guessed they were still feeling the effects of the run. He grinned, assessing tired faces. Most were weary, needing a few more hours in bed, or needing a few less beers the night before. Despite sleepy faces, there were a few alert, sharp eyes in the group. Good. That was really good. Those were the ones he was interested in.

"This is going to be your reality at Shinra. You'll learn that six in the morning is just a time. Battle doesn't wait for you to be well rested or well fed. It happens all the time. SOLDIER Darmouth and Doctor Wright will be good friends of yours. Darmouth will help you body become strong, condition you, and Doctor Wright will help you keep a healthy balance in your life. You'll learn to handle the running with ease, among many, many other things. That's the life of a SOLDIER."

Extending the pile of folders to the closest cadet, Zack motioned for him to pass them along.

"Each of you has a folder. In it, I've taken the liberty of photocopying some of the exercises we will be covering in class, complete with diagrams of what muscles you use with each attack and defense. I want you to know what you're working. This is just to tide you through until the end of the week. I'm not going to hold your hand through it. The rest of the articles will be on reserve in the cadet library, under 'Hand to Hand: Zack Fair'. It'll be your job to photocopy them."

Taking a place at the front of the room, Zack regarded them sternly. Like Andrew said, he had to let them know who held the authority. These kids needed them to be tough in the beginning, it would teach them to strive for better.

"I know this is only your first week, and you're going to make countless stupid mistakes. I'll remind you of something though – you're here because you want to be a SOLDIER, not because you want to be a party animal. I don't want to see tired faces in my class after today. It's up to you to know how much sleep you need to be functional. Do it. Stand up."

Just enough forcefulness in his voice, with the combination of steely eyes and a commanding stance, and he had their attention. They all but tripped over themselves to comply. Zack turned his back to them, smiling. He would make them a good batch of SOLDIERs.

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"When your opponent swings at you, like this," Zack leaned in, his body flexing gracefully, his fist moving fluidly through the air, "you want to block," the cadet up at front with him lifted his elbow to deflect the blow. "Like that. Good. Okay, get into your pairings. Try it like I just demonstrated. Slowly at first, then increase speed. You want these moves to become second nature. Good job." He patted the cadet on the back. Poor guy was probably terrified. Cloud would be, if Zack called him up to help show a mock attack. He'd be torn between melting into a puddle of goo at his feet, or shaking in his boots because he was inches away from a first class.

Gabe stood across from Cloud. The room thrummed with excited, nervous energy. This would be their very first lesson in fighting.

"Do you want to attack first, or me?" Gabe asked. Cloud shrugged.

"I can attack first if you'd like." Gabe increased the distance between them slightly, shifting down into his knees. His hands were ready to block. Cloud tried to mimic Zack's stance when he was demonstrating – feet shoulder-width apart, knees bent, fists up at the chest – and swung at Gabe, imagining he possessed the grace Zack had exuded. Instead, he just felt clumsy and awkward. Gabe blocked, just as the cadet had.

"Good, but you might want to turn your shoulders just a little," strong hands grasped Cloud and pivoted him, "and when you swing again, use your hips to propel you." Oh god, it was Zack. Cloud hadn't noticed him wandering around the room.

"Try again." Zack offered the barest of smiles in encouragement. Cloud knew he must look like a gaping, retarded fish. Feeling dizzy, he tried to do just as Zack instructed. Swinging again, he was aware of his hips turning, giving him more power. His attack felt…stronger. More definite, like he meant it. It didn't feel like a wish-washy exercise anymore, it felt more real, like he actually was a fighter.

"Really good. Exactly like that. You don't want to just go through the motions, you want to feel them. You have to mean what you say." Zack patted him on the shoulder before moving onto the next pairing. Cloud felt like he could just die. Zack's cologne had been deliciously spicy, musky and masculine – much like the man himself.

After going through it a few more times, Gabe and Cloud switched roles. Keeping an eye on Gabe, and an eye on Zack, he wondered just how far he could fall. Zack was everything he wanted to be, and everything he wanted. How on earth would he have a decent sleep when Zack now played a part in his dreams?

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Sephiroth tugged none too gently on raven hair. Zack was tired, it seemed. Being an instructor, though laughably easy compared to field work, always drained the SOLDIERs. Sephiroth knew what it was like – if you didn't want to do it, your body would start to slow down. You feel drained even though you're rested. He had felt that when he first started to train Zack, back when he was an accelerated learner. Then Zack had proven to be far more interesting than he had in the beginning…all Zack needed now was something exciting to happen in one of his courses.

"Long day Seph. In the start it always kills me. Way too slow. I want to be out doing the mock battles and the battle tactics rounds, not coaching cadets on how to fight, how much sleep they need. I'd be happier if I could get them in a couple months."

"I thought this was what you liked to do. You were enthusiastic on the first day."

Threading his fingers deeply into dark locks, Sephiroth tugged Zack's face to his own. He was greedy for a taste. Zack just made something in him bubble. He didn't know what it was – the combination of charisma, looks, and spirit – and he didn't care. Zack was a special breed, all on his own. He had never met a man like him. He didn't think he ever would.

After thoroughly sampling, possessively lapping at his mouth, Sephiroth pulled away. He never would tire of the looks Zack gave him after an intense kiss. So sensual.

"Any interesting or aggravating cadets?" Not that he really cared, it would be the same story. The cadets ultimately came to Shinra because they wanted to meet the big bad General, to see if they could one day fight in his army.

"You know how it goes, I'm sure. They are still star-struck. Actually," Zack chuckled, Sephiroth reveling in the low rumble. "I went to show a cadet today how to get more power into his stance, and all he did was gape at me before it dawned on him that I was speaking."

"Hero worship." Sephiroth muttered, leaning over to nip at the Gongagan's throat. Zack tilted his head, offering more of himself. Sephiroth heard him let out a small breath as his lips traveled over familiar territory.

"Admiration for sure. He'll get over it. Like most of the kids here, this is probably his first time in Midgar. The small town folk rarely get a chance to see SOLDIERs. I would know. I come from a small place myself."

Sephiroth bit his collarbone lightly. That was enough talking. He didn't want to bother himself with cadets yet – he would make an entrance when they had more training. Right now he wanted to focus on someone very specific.

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