Chapter 3: The Mind of a Killer


"So, how about it?" Tetsume asked. "Wanna join?"

"Well… I really don't know…" the man said nervously.

"Hn." Tetsume took a kunai out of the pouch that was tied to her waist. "Let me make this clear. You're joining Akatsuki."

"Are you're going to make me?" the man said, instantly becoming enraged. His eyes glowed darkly.

Tetsume's lips widened into a very sinister smile. "Yes… I am. This kunai is laced with poison. Its effects are nearly immediate. Within five minutes you will feel as though you can no longer breathe. In ten, you'll be wandering around the streets like a blind man, muttering whatever words happen to come to your lips. The secrets people spill forth are amusing. In fifteen, you will have collapsed into a coma. And if no one is around to administer an antidote, you'll die within twenty-fours." Tetsume paused to yawn and then continued. "Now, if you care to notice, there is a kunai laced with this lovely poison located directly above one of your major veins. It goes straight to your heart; you'll die even faster."

The man's eyes narrowed. "An honorable organization, huh? If this is how you get members to join—Agh!"

He fell to the floor gasping and clutching his arm where Tetsume had stabbed him. "You were boring anyway," she said. As the man rasped, struggling to get air into his lungs, Tetsume tied him up and threw him across her back. "Just so no one gives you the antidote, let's go for a swim. The river is lovely this time of year."


Tetsume was hardly nine years old when she earned her forehead protector. The other children were afraid of her. They were never outright cruel, but they hurt her in a different way. She never had any friends.

She never had a father growing up either. Tetsume's mother, Aridne, was too proud to admit her husband had left her. Whenever Tetsume tried to bring up the subject, her mother grew silent.

Five years ago…

Legends say that mist brings both an end a beginning. For Tetsume, a kunoichi of the Hidden Village of the Mist, this was particularly true. It happened on a fog-ridden day that Aridne was struck down by a terrible sickness. Clinging to her last few moments of life, Testume's mother told her of her father.

"His name is Kisame," Aridne said, her yellow hair stuck to her sweat-soaked brow. "Just after he left, I realized I was pregnant with you. He was going to join an organization called 'Akatsuki' to do 'noble work.' That's what he called it." Aridne reached up to touch Tetsume's cheek. She smiled faintly. "You think your temper is bad—" she broke off briefly to cough "— wait 'til you meet your father."

Tetsume clutched her mother's hand. "You want me to find him?"

"Yes, Tetsume," her mother said. "You should… help him. But don't—" And Aridne died.

"Don't? Don't what?" Tetsume cried, shaking her mother vigorously. It was too late. Tetsume never found out what she shouldn't have done.


Tetsume began her search almost immediately. She did not even stay in the village to see Aridne buried. A certain coldness that had been slowly but surely creeping around her heart now held it in a near inescapable grip. It did not take her long to find Akatsuki.

Akatsuki seemed to find her.

It was only two weeks into her quest that she heard the name 'Akatsuki' uttered. Her sharp sense of hearing had instantly honed in on the speaker.

He was a mysterious character indeed. His hair was dark black matched only by the darkness of his eyes. The forehead protector on his head told her that he came from the Hidden Lead Village, Konoha. Sitting across from him, for they were in a restaurant, was a peculiar looking man with a large sword. Both men were swathed in black robes with red, swirling clouds.

Tetsume steeled herself and with a determined glint in her violet eyes made her way to their table. "Pardon me, but I heard you say the word 'Akatsuki,'" she said smoothly.

"What of it?" the dark one asked.

"Tch, Uchiha, be more polite," the other one said.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Ignore him. What is it, girl?"

"I'm looking for a certain member of the organization. I only know his name: Kisame," Tetsume said.

The two men exchanged a curious set of looks. "What do you want with Kisame?" the called Uchiha asked.

"That would be between Kisame and myself," Tetsume replied, determined to maintain some form of control in this situation.

"Then you'd best talk to me," the other man said. "I am Kisame. You look familiar. What is your name?"

"My name is Tetsume. And I look familiar because I look like Aridne, my mother and your wife," she said.

"That was a long time ago," Kisame said.

"Fourteen years, in fact. I am your daughter."

"…"


Two months later…

"Uncle Itachi!"

"I told you not to call me that, brat!"

Tetsume's left hand immediately glued itself to her hip. "Hn. Brat? You're still too young to be calling anyone a brat. Not 'til you have your own bouncing bundles of joy."

"I detest children," Uchiha Itachi said.

"And that is why your life is boring," Tetsume concluded.

"My life was perfectly fine until you started messing around with it, Tetsume."

"I think you should dye your hair. How about purple?"

"KISAME!"

"Wow, you broke fast."


Four and a half years later…

"Tetsume, what am I going to do with you?" Kisame asked sadly.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault," she argued. "Sasori-san had it coming. Thinks he's so great," she added in a mutter. "He doesn't even listen to anyone except Deidara-san sometimes… honestly, that one doesn't make any sense…"

Kisame sighed. "That's not my point. You're driving the entire organization off the deep end."

"Well, they need to lighten up," Tetsume said quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing," she lied. Kisame's voice had acquired a certain edge to it. There would be no more point to arguing with him. It was over. She watched him as he paced around the plain room. What he part cat as well as part shark? Her eyes followed his almost hypnotic movements.

"You'll be taking orders from Itachi now, Tetsume," he said at last. "At least he won't murder you. You're going to work as a recruiting agent for Akatsuki. Got it?"

"Yes, father."

"I told you not to call me that."

"Sorry."


"Naruto, if you do not shut that oversized mouth of yours," Sakura threatened, "I will shut it for you."

"Doesn't it even bother you, Sakura-chan," the energetic shinobi insisted, "that he is some kind of creepy stalker?"

"For the last time, Naruto, Sai is not a creepy stalker. Damn it, he's right there! Must you be so blatantly rude?"

Naruto ignored the last bit. "Sakura-chan, he had thousands of pictures, all of you. How is that not creepy?"

"It's none of your business, Naruto. One more word and I swear I'll hit you!"

"But—"

WHAM

Aw, damn. I should have seen that coming, Naruto thought.

"That was very amusing," Sai said, finally choosing to speak.

"Yeah, thanks for all the help," she said sarcastically.

"… I didn't help," Sai said, utterly confused.

"I know… it's… haven't you ever heard of sarcasm?" Sakura asked.

"What's sarcasm?"

"Well, it's sort of like your fake smiles. You say one thing but you really mean something else."

"So, it's lying?" Sai asked.

"No, not quite. You say something that's obviously not true. Like I said 'thanks for all the help' when it was obvious that you weren't helping at all."

"So, what's the point?"

"Well, saying something sarcastically can be a less demanding way of pointing out that you would have liked someone to do something for you," Sakura said.

"So, by thanking me for help I did not give, you were saying that you would have liked my help earlier?"

"Yes."

"But wouldn't it have been easier just to tell me that?"

"Ugh," Sakura muttered.

"Is that sarcasm too?"

"No. I'm frustrated."

"You should try beating the shit out of Naruto. I read in a book that physical activity is great for releasing frustration."

"Hey!" Naruto shouted, for he had finally managed to get up from where Sakura had knocked him to the ground.

Lucky for him, a fourth party intervened. Kakashi had returned from scouting the surrounding area. "Are you three fighting again?" he asked, remotely annoyed.

"No," Sakura and Naruto said quickly, grinning for ear to ear.

Wow, they look happy, Sai thought.

"Hn," Kakashi muttered, clearly not believing them. "Well, the forest is clear out here. We can make a camp for the night."

Sakura and Naruto groaned.

"You're lucky there isn't a war going on," Kakashi lectured. "You'd have to do this more often. Anyway, it won't kill you."


"Your daughter is making my life miserable," Itachi told his partner for what seemed like the millionth time.

Kisame set down his cup of sake. "I can barely control the child. What am I supposed to do?"

"She's hardly a child. Nineteen. Let me kill her already."

"We've been over this before," Kisame said. "Despite her obvious shortcoming in common decency, Tetsume is a powerful asset."

"Personality seems to matter very little in Akatsuki anymore," Itachi said darkly. "We will be overrun by fools."

"She's not a fool, just annoying. She did graduate the Mist Academy at nine."

"Don't turn into a proud parent on me," Itachi replied.

Kisame snorted. "Never. I merely ask you to put up with her because despite her highly abrasive manner, she's been quite useful."

"Please tell me you're not sentimental either."

"Of what?"

"Your former spouse."

"One of my life's mistakes. She did not understand Akatsuki. She tried to keep me from going. Honestly, it's shocking that she sent Tetsume after me when she died."

"Women are strange…"

"… Have some sake."

"You know I don't drink," Itachi said.


I apologize for that being mostly filler, but it was very necessary filler. Next chapter will have awesome kickass fighting… or something like that. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. If you're not up to date in the manga please ignore the next bit in the parentheses. (okay, so it appears that the evil little Sasuke is going to take out Itachi… for the sake of this story, Itachi lives. Besides… he's way too badass… he'll probably at least escape. But if Sasuke kills him… I think I'll have to kill Sasuke… mostly because Sasuke annoys me terribly). That said, have a pleasant evening or whatever time of day it happens to be for you.