TITLE: born out of thorns
SUMMARY: It is the most terrifying and horrifying feeling when Len realises he's in love with his sister. Rin/Len. Incest.
Rating: M for the Incest and other things :)
NOTES: So... this fic is getting really complicated? Sadness.

/

It's the ninth week of term, and everyone's inviting everyone to parties and socials and formals and other things that cool people do. Len gets two invitations – one from Miku, and one from Meiko, and after glancing at the dates, he realises they're on the same day. He doesn't think it's that much of a big deal – them being in the same social circle and all – but Rin starts spending more and more time on the phone, giggling and laughing and whispering in hushed tones. And then afterwards, a smile lingers on her face, a curl of the lip.

"What's with you?" he asks, against his better judgement.

Her grin noticeably brightens. "Nothing. It's just that Miku and Meiko are trying so hard to top each other. Miku just hired an elephant for her party today, just because Meiko's got a chimpanzee act for hers." She laughs. "It's so stupid."

"Where the hell are they getting the money for that?" He opens the fridge to look for food. The only things in there are the fruit that Rin uses for her morning smoothies.

"Well, her dad is some big wig in Apple –"

"Big wig?"

"Yeah, you know. Like... head honcho. Businessman-type-person."

"I don't think anyone refers to anyone working in business as a big wig. Or a head honcho. Whatever that is."

"Well, you obviously don't know enough cool people," she says, in that teasing voice. I like blondes too. He swallows. "So which party are you going to? Miku's or Meiko's?"

"Resident hermit, remember?" Len closes the fridge, deciding to make himself some coffee instead. "I don't do parties."

"Just come. You can stand in the corner and, I don't know, mock them. It'll be fun. And Dad says it's totally cool if we go, as long as we're home by one."

He stares. "In the morning?"

"Well, yeah."

"Dad's letting us go to some random party until one in the morning?"

"Yeah, I asked and everything. He said it's fine. As long as we're not drunk. But he trusts me, so it's okay."

"Seriously?" He must be feeling particularly nice, Len thinks. Or maybe he's been hit by a bus. "Wow. Okay."

"I know you don't, you know, like people. But that's okay, you can learn to like people. Or you can just stick around me. Or Kaito. You know, Kaito's been asking after you a lot. He really misses you. Something about a 'brotherhood'. You guys can totally hit it off, be best friends forever, wear matching bracelets! Doesn't any of that sound appealing? Like, at all?"

"Look, Rin, you don't have to try so hard. I like having no friends."

"Oh. Right. Yeah." Her legs swing back and forth as she sits on her chair. "Then... come for me?" She tilts her head and looks at him, eyes all big and asking.

Yeah, sure. Go with Rin. And watch as the crowd practically eats her, as girls gush over boys and run to her for advice, as guys lift her up and carry her across the crowd, as she lives life as the socialite while he stands awkwardly in the corner, sipping at something that sort of looks like Fanta, but probably isn't.

His expression seems to say it all, because she takes on a whole new note of pleading. "Look, I... there's this guy."

A pang hits his chest. "Yeah? A guy?" he tries saying lightly, but it just results in sounding croaky and strained. He should really just pretend not to care and walk away. He should really just – "Who's the guy?"

"He's from the grade below us. His name's Aaron. He's been trying to get me on this new club, the Green Team 2.0 –"

"Wait, what?"

"Green Team 2.0," she repeats, though that's not really what he's interested in. "Basically they think that the current Green Team – so the one I'm in – is super corrupt and that we should be reconstructed and that some people should be kicked out and... agh, God, it's just all this messy, stupid stuff that I hate dealing with. But he's been following me all around school about it and I don't know. You scare a lot of people. What? Why are you looking at me that?"

"I'm not – nothing, I just thought you were going to ask me for advice, or something. On guys," he clarifies, when she sends him a questioning look.

"Oh. No, no way. That'd be – no." She laughs. "I'm never dating a guy in high school. No way."

But you used to like Kaito, he almost says, and then he releases his hand from the kitchen counter and watches his skin blanche white. He had no idea he was holding the counter so tightly. In fact, it's kind of worrying.

"Len? Len, what's wrong? Is there something on your hand?"

"No," he says, and he knows she knows he's lying – not about this, but in general. Eventually the tension is going to climb so high that she's going to sit him down and try and have a nice, calm talk with him. He'll stay quiet, or maybe he'll yell. Whatever he does, it'll be in a vain, defensive attempt to finally get her to stay away from him, and ugh, isn't this just one giant, shitty cliché? Guy meets girl. Girl is a freaking angel. Guy, not so much. Insert conflict.

"So will you come to the party with me? Please Len? Please please please –"

He sighs. "Look, Rin, I have a lot of work to do. I'm sorry I can't steer away your unwanted fans, but I'm honestly swamped."

She eyes him dubiously, and it makes him feel like bugs are crawling all up and down his skin, searching for the lie. "Alright," she says, resigned. "If you say so."

/

It gets quiet after that – well, not quiet, but quieter. Rin's really involved in these party things, chattering and jabbering about decorations and venues and who's coming and who isn't and how this person invited this person but not that person which is really awkward because this person and that person are best friends so if this person invites that person and not this person it's just going to be a mess because –

Well, whatever.

He hasn't really spoken to Miku much, but she's happy enough with him to send him an invitation, which he supposes is good. In fact, with Rin busy, and Len just having no friends, period, the only person that's been trying to talk to him is, well, Kaito. Which is weird.

It starts off with texts – hey buddy, wanna catch the game? Brah, let's go for cheesesticks. Bro, y u no answer? Answer me brah, ansaaaaaaah!

He's not sure of what Kaito's doing, exactly. Which strikes him as a little weird in itself, because it's probably not good to be suspicious of people who, really, only want to make friends. But he feels uncomfortable with Kaito, anyway – all the impressions he's had from Kaito are from watching him and Rin on stage, dancing and singing to each other like lost lovers, feeling the knowledge of Rin's clear infatuation with Kaito heavy in his brain; he remembers feeling so uncomfortable, so weird.

He can understand why she liked him so much – even though Kaito isn't the best singer or dancer or actor, he can sell himself. He's got this whole perfect-male-specimen thing going on with the absentminded questions and the offhanded compliments and the sincere gentlemanliness that he seems to exude. So people tend to just ignore his weirdness – or at least, they think it adds to his charm.

Eventually, he does answer the texts– what's up, Kaito? – and he's not even sure of why. Maybe it's because it's the fourth day of having to hear Rin giggle and gossip over the phone and he hasn't heard a word from her since he refused to go to the party with her, or maybe it's because as soon as his Dad found out that he'd refused, he had given Len this look, this stupid, judgemental look. Which he has no right to do, by the fucking way. No fucking right. Neither of them do. It's not his scene, end of story.

It's hard to hate Rin in this, just because she's too sweet and nice and angelic and she doesn't mean to make their Dad the self-righteous bastard that he is just because he's got a 'healthy relationship' with his daughter.

And Len just has to grit his teeth and bear it, bear being the 'failure'. So he doesn't know how to reach out and connect. So the only person he's ever connected with is his sister. So what? So fucking what –

Braaah, you replied! Thank Jesus, I was starting to think I had to start throwing rocks at your window or something.

The anger evaporates into confusion. He blinks and he replies, What's going on?

CHEEEEEEEEEZYSTIX. Cheesesticks, is what's going on. Let's EAT THEM.

..Now?

Yeah, brah, NOW. AT THE PARABLE. Or, like, at 7 tonight. BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE.

He decides that Kaito is more than a little bit strange.

"Who're you texting?" comes Rin's voice, and he starts a little.

"Uh, a friend," he says, almost uncertainly. He shoves his phone in his pocket and checks the time – five minutes to six. The Parable is half an hour away.

He looks over at her, wondering what she'll think about Kaito. She'll probably get all excited, jump up and down, pack a gold star on his forehead. And he's quite sure he'll have one of two reactions – either he'll grin with her and feel his heart swing or he'll be too irritated by the whole pet-project thing to acknowledge her for what she is – an arm stretched out to help. Which is great and yet absolutely frustrating all at the same time.

"What friend? From our school? A guy? A girl?" She's got a phone in her hand, arm limp against her side. Her head is tilted in curiousity. "Do I know him? Or her?"

"Yeah," he says, making a grab for his wallet and deciding getting there a little early probably wouldn't hurt. "Anyway, I gotta go. We're meeting up, so..."

"Oh." She scrunches up the edge of her pajama shorts in her hands. "Okay. When are you gonna be back?"

He shrugs. "I don't know."

"Okay. Well, have fun."

Len just nods – a barely noticeable incline of the head – opens the door, and shuts it behind him.

/

The first thing that Kaito says to him is, "Dude, the brotherhood is failing."

Len stares at Kaito across the table. "Okay."

"This always happens," Kaito says, looking outraged, fist clenched and forehead-vein pumping. "They come in, they say they're done, they say that they're ready to find new fish, new birds, and I help them! I help them all. And what do they give me?"

When Kaito doesn't continue, Len figures that maybe his question isn't entirely rhetorical. "...Friendship?"

"A failure of a friendship, Len. You're the only one left, dude." He takes a vicious bite of his cheesestick.

"Alright then." He sips his drink – a coke – quite awkwardly.

Then Kaito looks up at Len, eyes blazing, fist held out. "But that's okay, we'll recover. We'll rebuild. Bros for freaking life, man."

It takes Len a few seconds to realise he's supposed to fist-bump Kaito, but not having really done it before it comes out very awkward and slow. Not that Kaito seems to mind.

"First things first, initiation," says Kaito, grinning. "Which means after we're full of cheesesticks, it's down to the arcade."

"Uh, okay. Which one?"

"The one next to the Karaoke Bar. You any good at DDR? Because dude, I'm going to kick your blond ass."

/

What he learns about Kaito is that he's kind of a parody of like, the Vocaloids in general – which makes no sense, considering he's the main lead Vocaloid, and therefore arguably one of the unique components that make the Vocaloids so popular and special and shiny.

What he also learns about Kaito is that he's a lot louder and crass and just generally more of an asshole outside of school – which is fine by Len, really, because nice people (refer to Rin) make Len feel sort of uncomfortable.

They spend their time playing really lame, cheesy games, and weirdly enough, Len gets kind of into it. Especially with Kaito's kind of weird but sort of enjoyable petty competitiveness ("Dude, you call that a shot? You call that a shot? I'll shoot your face, assface, that wasn't a shot!") and his strange but sort of amusing trash talk ("Your lameness at life is so big that it could eat the internet! That's right, the whole internet! You know that big that is? It's pretty shitting big!")

Either way, it releases a lot of the tension (temporarily, anyway) and when it's eleven p.m and it's cold as hell and it's dark and the city is lit up with neon lights, Len feels kind of lucky.

"Dude, when you get that stick out of your ass, you're actually fun." Kaito grins at him, one hand placed on Len's shoulder. "Thank God Miku dated someone cool. We can be biffles, man. Biffles. No homo, though, that's happened before and it's awkward."

He snorts. "Okay, Kaito."

His phone buzzes in his pocket again – it's been buzzing all night. He doesn't want to look at it.

But Kaito takes it as a cue to check his own phone, wincing. "Ah, man, what time is it? I'd totally get baked with you or something but my mum's gonna freak if I'm not home by like, twelve. School night and all."

"Baked?" Like, in the sun?

"Yeah. Baked." Kaito shrugs. "As in weed."

Len raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say anything. "Yeah, sure. That's fine."

"Cool then. Well, I gotta catch the train, so. See you later!"

They wave goodbye and go their separate ways. Walking gets heavier on the way back – he doesn't want to see his Dad, or Rin. A new feeling hits him – he wants to stay out in the city forever and just enjoy, bask in the iciness of the wind and how it bites at his fingers, listen to the music of the blaring cars and the blasting techno of the dance clubs and of the sirens of ambulances and police cars that whizz back and forth along the roads. He suddenly understands the teenagers that stay out late and party hard and do whatever – cities like these, he realises, are built to swallow you whole.

/

Rin is there when he gets home. They share a look – she's still on the landline phone, so he doesn't bother doing anything else but nodding in her general direction.

When he passes her, she mumbles, "Len, phone, have you met?"

It's that tone again – that spiteful, annoyed tone that she normally represses. He's never had it directed at him before. It makes him feel slightly indignant, angry, so he makes a big show of slamming his keys down on the counter and throwing his bag on the floor and storming to his room like he hasn't heard a word.

He hears her whispering on the phone until four a.m, something he realises he could probably yell at her for, because he's annoyed enough. But then he thinks of her in her little pajama shorts and her loose singlet and he's reminded of why he is not a good brother.

/

So when term ends, he actually has plans for the holidays. And with Kaito, of all people.

Kaito Shion is probably the worst influence of a friend in the whole entire world. He's charming and he's happy-go-lucky and he's filled with the kind of smiles that earn him trust and endearment – and then he turns around and chills in a park and gets stoned underneath the sun. Len wants to call him two-faced but he can't just because even when Kaito is stoned or drunk or high, he's still charming and happy-go-lucky and generally all-around charismatic and persuasive. The only difference is that when he's stoned or drunk or whatever (take your pick) he can lose so many inhibitions that he'll go on borderline aggressive – a scary thing, considering the size of Kaito. It makes Len think that Kaito's probably not very happy with himself. It makes Len sort of thankful that Kaito's human.

Kaito doesn't make a big deal out of the fact that Len hasn't really approached drugs and drinking before, something he's also thankful for. He's patient and he snorts into the grass when Len first tries the weed out, coughing and gagging as his throat burns dry. He slaps Len on the back and eases him into it until finally it pulls Len's body into a lull, and stops his thoughts from processing. It makes him say stupid things but they're funny, and it's such a relief from all the whirrings and hummings of his thoughts.

He's not exactly a 'bro' or anything – as much as he claims otherwise (and that's when Len figures out that when Kaito is yelling about bro's and ho's and pacts and brotherhoods, he's probably high) - but Len thinks they're looking for the same thing. He doesn't know where he gets all his stuff from – the weed, the cigarettes, the bottles of vodka – but he thinks that Kaito wouldn't tell him if he asked, so he never says anything.

They spend their holidays quietly in abandoned parks and alleyways, smoke between them. They play old school arcade games, screaming and screaming at each other to win this and win that and do this and do that. Kaito will pat him on the back and give him a backhanded compliment and Len goes home realising that he's spent a whole four hours not thinking about Rin, and feeling very mixed about that.

Rin's given up questioning him about what he's doing – she's taken to just looking at him instead, which is pretty effective considering whenever she so much as glances at him he feels it like it's burning, and the flames spread all over his body and have him wanting to tear his own skin off just to avoid the bloodcurdling, the skin-prickling, and the stomach-fluttering.

And then it's the night of Miku's party, and it's twelve am, and they're at the park and Kaito's drunk as hell. Len's not really drunk at all, and is just sort of staring off into the sky while Kaito's doing his thing, wondering about that Green Team 2.0 guy that Rin was talking about.

"Don't you have like, friends?" Len inquires, as Kaito takes a swig of his vodka bottle. "Like, a lot of them?"

He laughs, loud in the quietness of the park. "Yeah, more like minions. We're not as cool as we make ourselves out to be," Kaito replies, something surprisingly more succinct – and honest - than Len was expecting. "Miku knows it too. Except, you know, she likes it."

That's not surprising. "You don't like it?"

Kaito pauses, then makes a show of straightening up and staring seriously at Len. "Like, it's like this," he says, slurring a bit, trying to make some sort of elaborate hand gesture but failing entirely. "So there's us – Vocaloids. We've got the auditions and the – the demos and the productions and the student body, right, but then we've also got, like, no friends. We're not friends. We just hang out because of some stupid thing in year seven."

The blond-haired boy turns around to look at Kaito, who looks thoroughly resigned. He raises an eyebrow. "Stupid thing?"

"Some contract," he says. "It's a stupid scholarship-sponsorship thing. If we can form a successful band with successful demos and success and success and success, we get automatic entry into the universities we want. Most of us want to go to the NVU – you know, the National Vocaloid University. We liked each other all the way back in Year 7 but we've all changed. But no one's saying it because we've gotten so far and the University's already looking at what we're doing at school, including this."

It takes a while for Len to process this. Cliques can be fake and they can be fragile, but this is just a whole new level of farce. "That," he manages, "is extreme."

Kaito nods. "Yeah. And it's overboard, it's stupid, I hate it. I hate Miku," he adds thickly, full of an unexpected resentment; something that's worth an eyebrow raise. "She's the one who won't let it die."

The silence fills the air as Len processes this. "And Rin?" he asks.

"Rinny's trying her best," Kaito tells him, and for some reason the nickname – Rinny – irks Len a bit. "She's – you know her. Perfect angel and stuff."

"So why're you telling me this? Why'd you call me out?"

"Because you, my friend, are not full of shit." He laughs and it sounds very bitter, very angry. "Miku knew that too. That's probably why she wanted you to be her boyfriend." Kaito stumbles a bit, backwards, but quickly catches his step. "I hate school."

"Amen to that." Len stares up off into the sky again. The stars aren't out, the sky's too polluted for that. He's just found out that the Vocaloids – so, the entire student presidential body – is some deliberate ploy to get into a good university.

Somewhere in this city, Rin is dancing with some guy and probably getting mildly buzzed.

"I used to really like her," he hears Kaito say, voice hoarse. Len has an inkling that he knows who he's talking about, and then he continues: "Sometimes I thought I loved her but then she became this stupid thing."

The words weigh heavily and tentatively in the air – Len's free to just ignore it as another drunken declaration, but his sympathy (what little of it) has him recognising that anguish, that frustration. He kneels down next to Kaito and sighs. It's awkward, sure. But he's kind of getting used to awkward situations.

"Miku?" he asks.

"Your ex-girlfriend," Kaito confirms, although honestly Len had been hoping to just ignore that. "Who still loves you. Lovey... dovey... love."

Len shifts uncomfortably. "We never did feelings. All we did was make out," he offers, but all that does is make Kaito groan like the knowledge physically hurts him. "Rin says Miku's always had a thing for you, anyway."

"Yeah, sure, when we were twelve." He sighs. "Is it weird if I tell you I almost dated your sister? Because I almost dated your sister. Almost dated Rin Kagamine. That's so weird."

His stomach lurches, and he thinks of when he saw them onstage, all those years ago. "Yeah, well, let's not talk about that."

The wind starts getting louder and louder, rustling the trees and the grass and all the littered soda cans, squashed on the pavement. Music starts blasting from the other side of the street – some other party, probably.

"I don't want to go home," Len finds himself saying. Kaito tilts his head about, indicating that he's listening – something kind of foreign to Len, really. "My dad's never paid any attention to me until Rin started staying with us. She treats him like he's Dad of the Year, and now he actually thinks it. And now he's wondering why I'm not as grateful."

Kaito snorts. "That's gay."

"It's really hard to hate Rin for it, though, because –" and he almost says it. But the words suddenly fall muddy in his mouth - thank God for that. "I don't know."

"It's hard to hate Rin for anything. She's too perfect. Too... still. Too – shit, Miku's calling me. Hang on a sec." He does a little dance in the search for his vibrating phone, which almost has him falling over. Eventually he gets the thing out and clicks on the flashing accept button. "Yeello?"

Len coughs as he hears the faintness of Miku's voice on the other line – she's either extremely excited, or annoyed.

"I told you, Miku, I'm not coming," Kaito whines. "M'not – I don't like it. Your parties suck. Why? Because they make me sad on the inside. So I'm hanging out with my bro, my brother, my biffle for life. Isn't that right, Len?"

"Uh, right."

"So suck it, Miku," he says, saying her name like it's an insult. "Just... fall on a ball."

With how jittery her voice sounds now, Len has no doubt that she's annoyed. They keep arguing like this, with Kaito becoming seemingly more sober as the conversation stretches on, and Len decides that it's probably his cue to leave. So he waves his arm in Kaito's face and makes a sign that he's going to leave, to which Kaito says, "So sorry, dude. Catch ya later."

It's one in the morning, now, he realises. Rin should be home.

/

It's the first time he's ever seen her with make-up on.

When he gets home, she's undoing her hair and taking off her earrings and unbuckling her shoes. She offers him a weak smile but he can see that clearly, from her body language, she's just plain tired.

He's about to go into his room when she says, "When boys date girls, do they think sex is going to be in the cards? Like, eventually?"

The question is so out of the blue and alarming that he doesn't even hesitate in turning around and staring at her as she drops her bracelets onto the coffee table, along with her other jewellery. She looks so unlike herself with the black eyeliner and the short dress and the straightened hair and the tired look in her eyes.

Suddenly, he wants to hold her and tell her something – anything – and the urge takes him so off-guard that he physically has to step back to keep himself from doing anything. Jesus, he thinks, wanting to leave but at the same time, not having the heart to.

And then she looks up at him, eyes shadowed and dark.

"Well?" she presses, and that's when he realises he hasn't answered her question.

He scratches the inside of his wrist, knowing that his vague answer isn't going to help any. "Depends on the guy."

"What about you?" And her tone is so intent and blunt that he's almost scared of looking at her, knowing that her eyes will be just as direct, that they'll match.

"Depends on the girl."

"Right. No, of course. I..." Now she's biting her lip, something that makes her seem so small and unsure. He can already feel himself settling, his resolve waning. "I just... I, um..."

"You're always going to deserve better, Rin," he finds himself saying, chest twinging when that light of hope flares up in her eyes. "You're always going to be too good for whoever wants you."

He's not quite sure where that's coming from, but he can't bring himself not to own up to it; the way she's looking at him is making him hurt.

"Why would you say something like that?" she asks quietly.

Len shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets and averting his gaze. "It's the truth."

He's not looking at her but he can tell her eyes have softened, can feel the way her body has relaxed against the counter to look at him. It's all just one notch from feeling scarily intimate, but he knows she has something to say, can hear the words lining up on her tongue, and stays put.

"It wasn't a big deal," she says with an exhale. "Just some stupid college boy who put his hand on my leg. I freaked out majorly and he said that dressing like I did tonight was just asking for it, so I shouldn't complain."

"Dick," he snorts, and she giggles.

"It feels really lame but I kept thinking, are all boys like this? Do they all look at girls like they're, you know, for sex? Is that what they want, eventually? I don't know. It was weird. But then I think of you and I remember why stereotypes are just stereotypes."

He scuffs his feet against the corner of a wall. "...Right."

Rin frowns, and the softness of her ebbs a little. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's just – I don't get why you say things like that," he says, banging his fist lightly against his thigh. "I mean, just – 'I think of you, and I remember why stereotypes are just stereotypes.' That's such a cliché, movie-kind of... it's not bad or anything but I really don't get what you get out of being so, I don't know, nurturing."

"I'm not trying to nurture you."

"I know you're not, but you just are. And I've always been alone, okay? Mum didn't want anything to do with me, Dad spent most of his free time passed out on the couch, and I just don't get you."

She shakes her head. "No, Len, don't say that. Mum and Dad really –"

"But they don't," Len says, louder than he meant to, throatier than he'd expected. Suddenly the anger is coming out in gushes, coming out thinly and dryly like something akin to desperation – "He's never taken me out to go buy stationary, he's never come to an Orientation Day or whatever, he's never gone to any of the musicals I did as a kid, he's just – never. I don't get how you can just smile and say that it's all okay and let them think they did a good job because they didn't, okay? They didn't. He can't take the credit for whatever I've done or become because he wasn't there."

Seconds pass before he realises what he's said and he wracks his memory to figure out what he's said through the haze of the frustration he'd felt. Stationary, seriously? Orientation Days? It's not like he's ever really gotten upset over them – so why would he mention all that petty, trivial, childish stuff now? But before he can blather out with some kind of explanation, Rin talks.

"I think that you keep a lot of things to yourself," she says slowly. "And I understand that. Because it works." She pauses, wringing her hands. "Until it doesn't."

In a weird way, he knows she's about to hug him, but when she does, he's still a little surprised. It feels like something has been drained out of his system and now his body is all limp and heavy, and yet somehow also very light.

He hesitantly wraps his arms around her, suddenly feeling too tired and too lagged to agonise over the contact (but the worry is simmering, bubbling gently underneath his skin). Miku had been slightly taller than him, which had made hugging and making out slightly different to what was the convention; Rin, though, is his height exactly. Her chin fits into the crook of his neck and her arms are around him in the exact way his are around her.

And she's not hugging him with intentions, like Miku did – it's pure, nurturing. Sisterly. And as soon as the words sound out in his mind he thinks of pulling away, even if it does feel strangely and weirdly right – but she speaks before he can do anything.

"Do you feel better?" she says, voice muffled in his shirt. It shakes him back to reality and he untangles himself, clearing his throat and suddenly feeling like his hands are very empty.

She's looking at him with so much sympathy and pity that his chest starts contracting into itself, like his insides are caving in. She's just consoled him the same way she does every crying junior student she happens to pass by. She's got the upper hand, the information, and what's worse is that she's not going to do anything with it because she's that good of a person. Because she's his sister and she's pro-family, even their family. Because she can do everything right.

"I feel fine," he says, already moving to go to his bedroom, knowing that he's not going to sleep for hours. His body still feels really logged, like that one outburst had zapped him of all of his energy.

But then she grabs on to his sleeve, smiling. "Not so fast. We're having a family dinner – you, me, Mum and Dad. Tomorrow night, actually –"

"Tomorrow?" he repeats, embarrassed at how throaty his voice sounds. "Jesus, Rin –"

"I know, I know, I should've told you sooner. But I wasn't sure if we were talking. You kind of seemed annoyed at me after that day where I got sick."

He can feel the blood prickling at his cheeks. "Right, yeah. I wasn't."

She looks dubious, but doesn't say anything about it. "So you will go, right? You're not going to, like, hang out with your secret girlfriend or anything?"

Despite himself, he rolls his eyes. "I'll go, I'll go."

"Great! I mean... awesome. Good. Hurray." She lets go of his sleeve, her smile upturning into a grin. "I'm glad we're talking again."

"Right," he says.

They hover a bit in comfortable awkwardness, and then they go off to sleep. Len stares up at his bedroom ceiling and doesn't understand why Rin always makes him feel like his chest is going to burst. He thinks about tomorrow's dinner, and winces. He wishes the ceiling would swallow him.

/