My Mother's Son part 3
By Sunny
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I'm just playing with them.
Spoilers: Probably none but lets say everything to be safe. WKODHTB
Pairings: Josh/OFC, Toby/Donna, Sam/CJ, Leo/Margaret
Summary: The life of Josh, as told by Josh
~2007~
I can't believe how quickly the days fell into one another. Time has flown by as many important events came and went. The annual birth of Ziegler children, wedding anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and the upcoming election of a new President; which means an end of my tenure as Deputy Chief of Staff. Vice President Hoynes is once again the front-runner in the Democratic Party. He and I have spoken several times, whereby he has asked me to stay on his staff if he wins the election.
I gave it a lot of serious consideration but when a group of my father's old friends approached me and asked me to return to Connecticut; they were prepared to back me as a senatorial candidate, I knew I wasn't working in the White House any more. The decision wasn't too difficult and I have re-established my home in Connecticut in the house that I grew up in. It was at this point that I have realized that at least temporarily I will be apart from Lauren. I almost changed my mind but then I decided to take the biggest risk of my life.
The transformation from bachelor to married man was not as easy as I had hoped. Lauren and I stumbled our way through many awkward moments which were compounded by the fact that she was often gone protecting the Presidents youngest daughter, Zoey. This was to be another of those awkward moments but one that turned out for the best.
"Lauren," I say quietly as I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.
"Yes dear," she says humoring me.
"I was wondering something," I stammer. This is not so great, I forgot to call Toby and ask him how to do this.
"What," she asks.
I turn her around in my arms so I can see her lovely face. "You know that I love you."
"I love you too," she replies.
"I've never loved anyone the way I love you," I tell her. "From the moment you walked into my life you changed me. Promise me you'll never walk out of my life. Marry me."
"Oh Josh," she says as she starts to cry. "Nothing will ever take me away from you. I'll marry you, if you'll marry me."
"I thought you'd never ask," I smile. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. This is the way it was meant to be and I didn't need Toby's help to do it. I pick her up in my arms and swing her around. I had always thought that politics would be the most satisfying thing in my life. Boy, was I wrong. It may have taken me almost forty years
to find the love of my life but hey, when you're Josh Lyman you have to do things right. And this was perfect.
~The White House 2007~
~the main ballroom~
"Congratulations," Sam says as he patted me on the back.
"Thank you," I smiled. "I sometimes thought that this day would never come."
"She's a beautiful woman," Sam says referring to my bride.
"Yes she is," I agree. "So is that little girl you're holding. She is so small."
Sam looks down at his daughter who is asleep in his arms. "She is very precious."
"Are you and CJ going to try to keep up with Toby and Donna," I asked.
"Are you kidding? They have a pretty good head start," Sam states. "What about you and Lauren? Any babies in the near future?"
I smile indulgently before dropping the bombshell. "Yeah. In about 6 or 7 months."
"Are you kidding," Sam smiles. "That's great! Have you told anyone else?"
I shake my head. "We just found out a couple of days ago. We're going to announce it this afternoon."
"Have you guys seen my wife," Toby asks nervously as he walks up to us.
"No. You lost her," I joke.
"She was wandering around muttering my name," Toby explains. "I think it's almost time."
"She can't have the baby today," I say firmly.
Toby raises his eyebrows at me. "Josh I don't think I have any say in this right now."
"Toby I just got married! She can't have the baby today," I protest. "Tomorrow would be ok."
"Josh! You don't make an appointment for these things," Toby points out.
"Toby," CJ yells loudly from across the room.
Toby looks at her for a second then turns to Sam and I.
"Sorry Josh," he says quietly. "I think the baby is coming today. I have to go take my wife to the hospital." And with that said he walks quickly across the room and out into the hall.
"How does he stay so calm," I ask with a frown.
"Lots of practice," Sam says. "The important thing to remember in these situations is that if you reach Dupont Circle, you've gone too far. "
"I know how to get to the hospital from here Sam," I tell him.
"I know now as well," Sam says. "Luckily for me that fire station was there so I didn't have to deliver the baby myself."
"There wouldn't have been any doubt if you had listened to CJ in the first place," I point out.
"I thought I knew where I was going," Sam defends. "I thought she was wrong because she was in so much pain. It can't be that painful for all women can it?"
"I think it is," I reply.
"Wow," Sam says in wonder. "I'm amazed they keep having babies."
"Me too," I agree.
George Washington University Hospital
~ 2008~
I found out exactly how painful that was when Lauren gave birth to our first daughter, Jessica Marie Lyman. She was as beautiful as her mother and as stubborn as me.
"Breath, Lauren, breath."
"I am breathing damn you," she bit out. Another contraction ripples through her body and she squeezes my hand even tighter.
"Lauren," I squeak. "You're going to break my hand."
As the pain lessens, she loosens her grip and resumes her breathing exercises. "You'll be lucky if I don't break something else when all of this is over. This could be the only child you ever have."
"Hey it wasn't my idea to get pregnant," I defend.
"I didn't hear you objecting," she replies.
"Well it was fun," I smile. She grips my hand in another death hold and I grimace in pain. This has been going on for 23 hours and seems like it is never going to end.
"We have crowning," the doctor announces.
"Is that good or bad," I ask.
"That's good," he replies. "The baby is ready to come out. You want to see?"
I hesitate for a fraction of a second. It is one thing to see my wife "down there" under normal circumstances but this was anything but normal. I look at Lauren and can tell that she doesn't think I'll do it. She has this, go ahead and look, look on her face that is just
challenging me. Nervously, I move toward her feet and peer over the curtain. Just at that moment another contraction occurs and the baby begins moving out into the world. I know my eyes are big as saucers and all I can think of is, `I hope I'm a good Dad.'
I stand there transfixed by the miracle in front of me and as she moves completely into the doctor's arms I look up at Lauren and grin, we are parents. The doctor places our daughter on Laurens stomach so we can get our first good look at her.
"You want to cut the cord," he asks. I look up to see him smiling at me.
"Ok."
One of the nurses hands me a pair of scissors as the doctor ties off the umbilical cord.
"Cut it right here," he says as he points to the cord. My hand is shaking slightly as I do as he tells me and cut the cord in half. One of the nurses picks up our brand new baby girl and takes her off to do whatever it is they do as I lean over to kiss my wife.
"Hi Mommy," I whisper.
She smiles. "Hi yourself, Daddy."
The nurse comes back and places our girl in my arms. She is so precious. I hold her close to me and not too tight, counting all of her little fingers and toes. I don't think I will ever get the smile off of my face.
Strutting into the waiting area I see that Sam and CJ and Toby and Donna are still there. They all appear to be asleep but as I get closer Toby opens his eyes and looks at me.
"Well," he asks. The others waken at the sound of his voice and I beam at them.
"It's a girl," I announce. "You guys can come down and see them both in a few minutes."
"Congratulations," Sam smiles as he gets up and shakes my hand. They all stand and I am enveloped in warm hugs and congratulations.
"What's her name," Donna asks.
"Jessica Marie," I tell her.
"That's a good name," Toby mumbles.
"Wait until you see her. She's beautiful."
"Oh good. She doesn't look like you," Toby teases.
"Behave yourself," Donna admonishes as she smacks his arm.
"I'm done behaving myself. I've been sitting on those damn plastic chairs for hours and my disposition hurts," he grumbles at her.
Everyone laughs at him then CJ gets in the act.
"Toby, you can behave yourself," she tells him. "Josh and Sam and I have all spent numerous hours in these same hard chairs waiting for the births of your five sons and none of us have every complained."
"It's not my fault you can't speak up for your self," he tells her.
"Come on Toby," I interject. "You can hold her first."
His face lights up and he actually smiles at me. I can see Donna is looking at him with a wistful look and I wonder what all of this means. I lead them down the hall to Laurens room and quietly peek in. Lauren is sitting up in the bed holding Jessica and talking to her.
"Are you ready," I ask.
She looks at me and smiles. "Bring them in."
We enter the room and everyone makes a beeline for the bed.
"Who wants to hold her first," Lauren asks.
"We all do," Donna says. "But Josh told Toby he could be first."
Lauren hands our daughter to Toby and I feel a twinge of protectiveness overcome me. I know that Toby knows what he is doing but I can't help myself.
He holds her close and talks to her, softly rubbing her little hand. Then he looks at Donna. "We have to have one of these."
"We have five of them," she reminds him.
"Not of this model," he pouts.
"Toby, we have five boys," she reminds him again. "What makes you think the next one would be a girl?"
"We can think happy thoughts and wish for one," he replies.
"We're not having another baby," she tells him sternly.
His face goes blank as he looks back at Jessica. He holds her for a few more minutes then hands her over to CJ and moves to stand next to the wall and stare at the floor. I look at Donna and see that she is watching him. I can understand her point about not wanting to have more children but I can also see that it is a rough subject between them.
Later, as they are leaving I corner Donna in the hallway. "Is everything ok between you and Toby," I ask.
"We're fine," she assures me. "Toby has always wanted a little girl. He loves the boys to death but ever since CJ and Sam had Christina, he has been bugging me about getting pregnant again."
"And you don't want to," I surmise.
"It's not that I don't want to," she sighs. "It's that I don't want to be raising kids alone. Toby is going to be 60 soon he's not going to be here forever. None of us are."
"That's true," I agree. "But if that's the only thing stopping you, it's a dumb reason."
"Josh. It may seem like a dumb reason to you as you and Lauren will be raising your kids together I don't want to raise my kids alone."
"You won't," I assure her. "If anything ever happens to Toby, I'll be there to help you. As will Sam and CJ and hell, probably your sons. You'll have lots of help."
"Thanks," she sniffles as she starts to cry. I pull her into my arms and hold her tight. I've never thought about raising my daughter alone, hell I never have to but for Donna it's something she worries about all of the time. To be honest I'm actually surprised that
nothing has happened to him yet. With his temper, the way he drinks and eats he is a major candidate for a heart attack. I pray that it never happens.
~Washington DC~
~2011~
The day is bright and warm. Lauren and I are packing the kids in the car and heading to Connecticut for a family vacation. Three year old, Jessica climbs into her seat as I secure the straps around her baby brother, Josh junior.
"Did you grab the bag out of the baby's room," Lauren asks as she walks up carrying our newest addition Kathryn Emily.
"I put it in front of your seat," I tell her.
"Strap her in too," she orders as she hands me the car seat. I smile to myself thinking that I made the right choice when I bought the minivan. "I forgot my purse. I'll be right back."
"Hurry up," I yell. "I want to hit the road."
As I am fastening the last strap I hear the thump of a stereo coming down the street. I look over my shoulder, there is a low rider car coming slowly up the street. A couple of teenage boys are walking in my direction and they are looking over their shoulders at the car as well. The car and the boys are even with each other just as they get to the front of our house.
Suddenly time slows to a crawl and I am propelled back to Roslyn as the occupants of the car and the boys on the street pull out guns and start shooting at each other. I can hear the shots echoing off the walls and the screams of people all around me but I can't move from
where I am. I stand there in the bright sunshine until the screams of my children invade my head.
Turning quickly I check to see if they are all right as the car speeds off. The kids are ok but seem very shaken up and I look over to where Jessica is pointing. Lauren is lying on the front steps of our house. I scream her name as I begin to run to her and in the distance I can already hear the approaching sirens of police and ambulances. But in my heart, I know that it is already too late.
I remember many years ago when I was a small boy, overhearing my father talking to his friends. I remember because they happened to be talking about me. "He is his mother's son," my father said. At the time I was very upset, when he said this for I thought, `I'm your son too.' But as I stand here today I know the truth, I am my Mother's son.
Just like my mother, many years ago, I am burying the love of my life. It took me a long time to find her and I know I will never find another like her. I want so badly to jump into that hole and lay there beside her, never to be apart. But I now have three small children to raise. They need me and I need them. My friends are here surrounding me, holding me, comforting me and I know that I will never be truly alone. I also know that I will never be truly complete again as well.
"Josh," Donna says softly from my side. "We're taking the kids back to the house."
"Ok," I nod. "I'll be along shortly."
The tears are falling down my face and I really don't care if anyone sees me. I hear footsteps approach me then a hand settles on my shoulder.
"When you were a little boy you use to follow your father everywhere," Leo says quietly. "He got such a kick out of it."
"I always wanted to be just like him," I manage to say.
"In many ways you are."
We stand there silently for a moment as I wipe away a tear. "I heard him tell someone once that I was my Mothers son. At the time I was really hurt by that, now I guess it's true."
"What makes you think that," Leo asks.
"We've both been left behind by the ones we love," I explain.
Leo snorts and I look at him. "That's not what he meant."
"I don't think that's what he meant at the time but that's what is true now," I tell him.
"You want to know what he really meant," Leo asks. I nod not trusting my voice. "He meant that you possess all of the qualities that he loved in your Mother and that made him love you even more. Your father loved you with all of his heart. And so did your wife. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it will be easy it's not. But I know you and you are going to do the best job you can in raising your kids. They're great kids Josh. You're going to be fine."
"I miss her already," I say painfully.
"I know," he nods. "We need to go."
I look down at her grave one last time and whisper I love you. The workers are waiting nearby to fill in the hole; they've done this enough times to know when to wait. Slowly I turn and follow Leo to the car where Margaret is patiently waiting for us. We climb in and Margaret drives us out of the graveyard and off towards my house in Connecticut. Its warm out and the sun is shining brightly, I can feel it on my face as I silently weep in the backseat.
The End
