The Journal

Nathan couldn't believe what she was saying. After everything they had been through together, she didn't want him.

"Please, Nathan, I'm sorry but it just won't work." she said as the tears fell onto her face.

"Why? What did I do wrong?" he asked with a weak voice.

"Nothing! Nathan this isn't your fault. Please understand."

She looked down at her left hand and slowly slipped off her ring. She gently grabbed Nathan's hand and heard his breath catch from her touch. She placed her ring in his hand and he knew it was over. He looked up at her with tears visible in his eyes and gently grabbed her arm as she turned to leave.

"It's only fair, isn't it?" he said as he slipped his ring off and placed it in her open hand.

"Goodbye Sarah." He said as he let his hand drop back to his side, letting her go.

But rather than walking away, she softly kissed his cheek as he felt her tear stained face gently graze his.

"Please, Nathan. You have to remember." She whispered in his ear. "You have to remember. Remember…"

"Remember Nathan?" Audrey asked as Nathan stared in a daze.

"Sorry, what?"

"Do you remember the name of the man who saw the fight? Tyler something?" She asked tapping her pen against the file.

"Yeah, um, Tyler Connors." Nathan said as he tried to come back to reality.

"Connors, right." Audrey said as she quietly filled in the paperwork.

"Did you finish the paperwork on Thornton?" Nathan asked in an attempt to distract himself from the memories.

"Yeah, I filed it this morning." Audrey said as she looked up to study his face.

"Nathan, are you okay?" Audrey asked with concerned. "Ever since the problem at the Thornton's a few days ago, you've been acting…different."

"I'm fine Parker." He lied.

Truth was his memories had been constantly filling his mind. He was remembering things not only from his time with Lucy, but also other times as well. He thought he had done a good job hiding this from everyone, but Audrey was always able to see right through him.

"Nathan…" Audrey started, obviously catching his lie.

"Parker, I'm good," he said convincingly.

Audrey picked up her necklace and started fiddling with it. She had a habit of doing this lately whenever she was thinking or distracted.

"Nathan, listen. I know—" Audrey began, but, much to Nathan's delight, was quickly interrupted.

"Officer Parker, we have a woman here asking if she can talk to you." Stan said in the doorway.

"Stan can it wait just a minute?" Audrey asked.

"She seemed pretty concerned." Stan said.

"Be right there." Audrey said with a sigh. "We're not done Nathan." She said as she gently placed the necklace down on her desk.

But Nathan barely heard a word as he saw the small sliver in the necklace that showed what it really was. As soon as Audrey left her office Nathan grabbed her necklace and placed his fingers on the top and bottom. It had been Lucy's favorite part of her present. The secret she kept against Haven, the town that hid everything from her. He gently pressed the nob at the top and revealed an opening. It wasn't just a necklace, but rather a locket.

Nathan grabbed the small piece of paper that was unceremoniously thrown into the locket and ignored the two aged photographs inside.

He quickly closed the locket and read his own name printed in Audrey's handwriting. He turned it over and read, "Find it. 44 N, 69 W."

Nathan didn't care about work as he left Audrey's office and grabbed his keys in record time. He was going to find answers.


"Just Mrs. Roberts again." Audrey said entering her office.

But when she looked around, she realized Nathan was gone. She quickly went to his office but couldn't find him.

"Stan, have you seen Nathan?" Audrey asked.

"Yeah, he left a couple minutes ago. He seemed pretty distracted." Stan said as he went back to work.

Audrey quickly walked to her office with her mind racing.

It wasn't like Nathan to leave the station without any notice.

Audrey sat down at her desk with a sigh. She finally had a chance to talk with Nathan and tell him everything. Now he was gone.

She picked up her necklace and slowly started turning it in her hands.


Nathan looked out the window of the Bronco at the old familiar porch he once sat on with Lucy. He closed his eyes remembering the familiar smell of lilacs she grew in the garden.

He had followed the coordinates she had given him to her old house.

He got out of the truck and made his way to the door. She could have wanted him to find a number of things, how could he know what to look for?

Nathan swallowed his fears as he knocked on the door.

An older woman, about 60, looked out at him with suspiciously.

"Hello Mrs. Matson." Nathan said charmingly. "I'm sorry to intrude, but we're doing a few checks around town for traces of asbestos. I was hoping I could make sure you're place was safe." He finished with a smile.

"The Chief of Police?" she said doubtfully. "Couldn't you get another officer to handle this?"

"Yeah I could, but they've already looked at about 100 houses around town and I figured I should give them a break. My job is to keep Haven safe, even if it's just from bad housing materials." He said with a chuckle.

She looked at him for a few seconds more, until a smile lit her face and she opened the door to let him in.

Nathan nodded in thanks as he stepped across the threshold and looked upon the house that held so many memories.

"Can I get you a cup of coffee Chief? Just made a fresh pot."

"Coffee would be great." Nathan said. This was the perfect opportunity to find answers. He started toward the bedroom as his right hand trailed along the wall.

He knew everything about this house. The floorboard that creaked just outside the bathroom, the light switch that turned on nothing, and Lucy's favorite spot.

Nathan stopped in his tracks and looked around for the raised and out of place panel that disguised the perfect hiding spot.

He ran over to the panel and listened as Mrs. Matson washed dishes in the kitchen.

He softly pushed in the sides of the panel, revealing a small hole, empty except for a battered notebook.

Nathan picked it up carefully and knew he found what she needed him to find.

Mrs. Matson's footsteps started to get closer as Nathan quickly placed the notebook in his jacket and covered up the hole.

"Find anything so far?" She asked as she handed him his coffee.

"Nothing to be worried about." Nathan said, knowing that he had finally found some answers.


Nathan drove home as quickly as he could as he kept eying the simple notebook sitting in the passenger seat. It didn't look like anything special, but Nathan knew her, and if she wanted him to find it, it was important.

Nathan locked the door behind him as he walked into his simple home and snapped the blinds shut.

He sat down and paused for a moment. His life had been turned upside down already and now all that he believed about himself could all change again.

Nathan took a deep breath. It didn't matter if it changed things. He was finally going to have his answers.

Nathan turned back the aging cover and read the first page.

May 7, 1983

My first day in Haven certainly wasn't what I was expecting. As I was driving into town, my car broke down in the woods and I had to try and find some help. I looked for the closest Ranger's station, but before I could reach it, I heard a growl behind me. It was a wolf. A big, hungry wolf. He started coming after me, but lucky for me, a Ranger, Nathan Wheatley, shot him down. Instead of asking if I was okay however, he simple picked up the wolf and said, "Welcome to Haven," and started walking away. I thought he was just going to leave me there but he dropped the wolf and asked if I needed a ride. He may not have been the most charming guy, but there is something about him. Maybe I'll see him around town.

Nathan just stared at the words on the page. He remembered everything about that day. He had saved her life, just like he had saved Audrey's.

He quickly started flipping through her journal as he yearned to discover more about himself.

Every page seemed to have his name, whether it was in relation to a case, or just a simple note about breakfast together.

The further he read, the more hurried her writing became. Loose papers started to fall out with notes from different times scribbled upon them. Notes from 1956, 1929, 1902. It was like opening a time capsule every 27 years, only to add upon it the same sad story and bury it until the next 27 years. Nathan saw pictures, some dating back to the mid-1800's, with him and another version of Audrey. He tried to find out more about himself, about his life, about everything. He turned to the last page. The page was worn and had marks from where it appeared tears had fallen. He read through it quickly, just wanting to know more.

He finished in disbelief, trying to grasp what Lucy had told him. He read the page one more time, slowly, and read her meaning into every word.

He knew that his past meant nothing. He needed to protect Audrey and he was going to make sure she was safe, no matter what.