Strain in the Heart


GRANNY'S OFFICE~


The duo came in, tired from running from Karin, and tired from all of Ibiki's endless interrogations. Sasuke and Suigetsu have been through hell. Suigetsu plopped in the nearby chair, while Sasuke being the, 'I'm too cool' ego thing, he just continued to stand. But what next hit them. Well, mostly Sasuke. Suigetsu just shouted, "OH MY GOD ITS HER! MAKE BABIES NOW!' before getting punched by said girl. The girl glared at Sasuke, while he had his 'I'm emo, I don't show emotions,' face on, while a certain blonde that we all know, smacked Sasuke upside the head and screamed, "TEME! YOUR'E BACK" Aas he gave said male a bone-crushing hug, as Sasuke's face turned pale. Now, he really regretted coming back.

'Fuck my life..' was his only thought.

The godanime eyed the Uchiha, then the 'fish-boy' and back to Uchiha. This continued for about 5 minutes until an angry pink kunoichi yelled 'WHAT THE FUCK TSUNADE! GIVE THEM THEIR DAMN PUNSIHMENT' and then, a tumbling sound were heard, followed by shrieks of terror.

Oh shit. Her voice created an avalanche in the Land of Snow. 'Find a happy place, find a happy place...'

But that wasn't important, Tsunade thought, what was important was how the hell she was going to get her hearing back. This same thought was thought (does that even make sense?) throughout the village, and the hokage's room. Tsunade would've strangled her apprentice, but the fact that she had that enormous temper made her love her even more. But not in that way. That was too awkward and pedophilic like her old teammate, Orochimaru.

Tsunade didn't scold Sakura, but another blond did. What an idiot.

'SAKURA-CHAN! THAT WAS WAY TOO LOUD! I THINK I CAN'T HEAR ANYMORE!' Naruto yelled. But he soon regretted it.

'SHUT THE HELL UP NARUTO! I JUST WANNA GO HOME, AND GET A HELL LOT OF SLEEP, CAUSE SOME PEOPLE WORK 24/7 AT THE HOSPITAL SAVING LIVES!'

she retorted, as Naruto hid in the corner, shaking, thinking 'Find a happy place, find a happy place..' The blonde was holding his teddy bear, similar to Gaara's... Way too similar. Like, EXACT.

Next thing you know, an angry red-head hokage came in, with an angry-killing-intent mood on his face…Per usual.

He then said the words that would've defiled any man's pride, but since its Gaara, no one would call him gay. Ever.

That word was strictly forbidden for Karin *shiver*, Neji, and Sasuke. Cause that was too damn funny.

"Who the hell took my Teddy Bear.' Was the only words he uttered, and note, he said this as a statement, not a question.

And everyone silently pointed to Naruto who dashed out of the building faster than Lee if he found out Sakura was waiting outside for him to ask her out. Yeah, that fast. That was then followed by a stomping Gaara who noticeably had a something red about to pop out of his head. And it wasn't his Love kanji tattoo. Not by a long shot.

Okay, so the only people that were left were Sakura, Suigetsu, Tsunade, and of course, Sasuke. Until a disturbance was made when a body slammed from the outside, and crashed in causing, an earthquake. Yes people, it was…Karin.

Insert FML's animal deaths, and crying children. She stepped in, clad in ugly booty shorts that showed it's (we could never decide a gender so he/she's an 'it') huge-ass muffin top and fat, boots that were screaming 'fuck me', but you could tell, it wouldn't get sex anyway, no matter what Karin tried. She was too damn ugly… Karin's shirt was a sports bra, with fat bulging from all directions. Many animal funerals were held in the forest due to this sight. Its hair was blood red, and covered in twigs and dirt. And from the looks of it, a half-eaten taco. Her/Him/Its face was covered in acne, dirt, and any shit that you could name. Karin's glasses were so dirty; people wondered how she could see in the first place. The glasses were broken, and unbalanced. She also smelled like monkey shit, her natural scent that was supposed to 'attract my Sasuke-kun'. And of course, that failed. But she never got the memo.


The only thought that played in Sasuke's brain like a broken record was, 'Fuck my life.' As per usual, Suigetsu greeted her first with a witty insult. Actuality with a witty insult. Actually, any, anything was considered a smart comeback, cause Karin's I.Q was negative 2. The fish-boy spoke, 'Hey, did you get UGLIER? Well, it's not like you can get pretty anyway like doll face (points to Sakura, Sasuke growls) over here. Why'd you drag your fat ass over here anyway?' After that, he had a broad smirk on his face, his pointy teeth sticking out. While Karin's was pure and utter shock. And here comes Sasuke's #2 FML of coming back to Konoha. She screeched.

"HEY THAT'S NOT TRUE YOU STUPID...FACE! AND PLUS, MY SASUKE-KUN STILL LOVES ME CAUSE HE THINKS IM BEATIFUL!' She replied.

Her voice creating cracks in the mirrors, as the hokage reached under her desk and pulled out a large bottle of sake. This was gonna be a long day. Sakura looked at the failure of a hooker in disgust, and wondering why the hell Sasuke would like that. She was so glad she didn't have to deal with her¸ because she was Sakura-fucking-Haruno, and she doesn't deal with wannabe sluts except...Ino. But that was beside the point. Sakura was glad she didn't go on a revenge rampage, and ended up having to work with...Her? Him? It? Yeah, Sakura agreed that Karin, whatever it was, was not a girl, or a boy, but an it. Like a tranny. Sakura then eyed her own body, why the hell would the Uchiha like him?

Sakura, in contrast to Karin was beautiful. Sakura wasn't skinny as hell like Ino, or a huge fat ass like Karin. She had a medium build, and a chest size down from Tsunade. And Tsunade's breasts were big. The pink kunoichi had ivory pale skin, with vivid green eyes and unique pink hair. Her skin was soft to the touch and was clear of acne. She was a bit short, but that wasn't really a problem. Sakura had long slender legs, and no thunder thighs. (Cough KARIN Cough). Her brilliant and witty comments had men at her knees.

After Sakura pondered her body, she found the real reason why the Uchiha didn't like her. 'He's GAY!' her inner shouted at her, and Sakura tried to stifle a giggle from escaping her plump, pink lips. But since the worlds screwed up, she giggled, and then let out a full blown laugh.

'See? Pinky over there thinks its funny.' Suigetsu said, pointing to Sakura, who went from a fit of giggles to anger in 3.2 seconds.

Oh shit.

'MY NAME'S NOT PINKY! YOU STUPID BASTARD!' She yelled her face puffed red in anger as she stomped forward to Suigetsu, who was too busy staring at her chest, and she promptly slapped him. Sakura left a pink, hand-shaped slap on his cheeks, as Sasuke smirked. Bad Move, as this soon became one of Sasuke's FML #3.

'AND YOU! WIPE THAT DAMN SMIRK OF YOUR FACE PRETTY BOY! YOUR'E ABOUT TO GET PUNSIHED SO DON'T YOU DARE SMIRK! YOU GOT THAT!'

That was then followed by a familiar ear-deafening screech, which was of course, made by Karin.

'DON'T YOU DARE YELL AT MY SASUKE-KUN LIKE THAT! HE CAN KICK YOUR ASS!' Then, another female yelled, which shut both of them up, paralyzed by her iron fist.

'BOTH YOU GUYS! SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME THINK!' Tsunade yelled, her voice bellowing, as Suigetsu drew his amethyst eyes to her big bust once again.

'Okay Sasuke, I figured out your punishment. But first, are these your two teammates?' She asked as she gestured to Karin and Suigetsu. Sasuke sighed and rubbed his temples, saying a quiet 'Hn'. He was seriously getting a headache from all that damn yelling. It was seriously getting annoying. And he just wanted to get everything damn over with. This whole 'punishment' discussion was a serious pain in the ass. This was seriously cutting into his 'time to be emo' time. And he really was looking forward to that.

'Hm…Well then, I guess I have to make a different punishment since they technically didn't betray the village.. But they followed you and the pedophile….' The hokage declared, as 3 Anbu captains came in, each cuffing a different member of Team Taka. It was impossible to cuff Karin due to her fat wrists, so, like an animal, they shot a dart into one of his (they assumed Karin was a boy) many chins, and 10 more Anbu came in, to drag him away, cause he was too fat, and 1 Anbu couldn't do it alone.

After Team Taka left, the only ones left were Tsunade and Sakura. Sakura was ready to go and fulfill her hospital duties, until Tsunade stopped her movements.

'I've decided that you will be the Uchiha's guard for his probation period which is 1 year. So I suggest you pack your bags, and move them to the Uchiha District. The hospital was alerted that you will take a day off to 'move out'. No one can know about this except Team 7. And later Konoha 12.'

Before Sakura could scream, "WHAT THE FUCK TSUNADE! CAN'T SOMEONE ELSE DO IT?", Tsunade quickly pushed her out her door, and slammed it, putting a chakra guards.

Tsunade really needed her Sake at the moment…

Outside the door, was a fuming Sakura. Her fists were clenched, and she sent a death glare at the floor. Poor floor. Sakura stomped out the Hokage Tower, a look that said, 'Say anything, and I'll kill you.' Sakura went to her apartment building, harshly opened the door, and went inside, slamming the same door behind her. Poor door. Sakura then went to her room, and as calmly as she could, she packed everything that she would need that would last her a year. This included medical texts, clothes, tolitries, and other shit that she needed. After about 2 hours, she was packed, and she rolled her luggage out the door. Then realization hit her. Faster than TenTen smacking someone for making a sexist joke. Faster than Lee running without his weights on. Yeah, that damn fast.

She was going to stay with Sasuke. Stay with Sasuke. This only meant disaster through her eyes.


MEANWHILE

Team Taka was in a chakra sealed jail cell. Which was anything but comfort. The floor was dirt, and there were bugs littering the floor. It smelt like blood, and it was dark. Like, really dark. Karin kept on attempting to latch on to Sasuke to 'protect her' but of course, he just shrugged her off with a mega-uber-death glare. Then she would get scared shitless, and leave him alone to broad like his usual emo self. Suigetsu was just quiet. And that wasn't really like him, and a quiet Suigetsu would be a sign of the apocalypse. And Sasuke really didn't need that shit right now.

'Hn'. Sasuke grunted, his dark eyes looming around the jail cell.. If he had enough chakra, he'd chidor Karin so she'd shut the hell up and then he'd chidori the jail cell door thing, so he could escape the idiots.

'We're screwed. Cause like, one, Karin's here. Two, we are in a cell that smells like rat's ass. And three, Lover boy's girl hates lover boy. Yeah, we're screwed.' Suigetus suddenly said, looking at Sasuke who again, for the billionth time, sent a pissed-off looking glare of annoyance. Suigetsu immediately stopped his what would be never ending rant, and just looked at the floor. There was peace for 1 or 2 seconds, until Karin opened her big fat mouth.

'IM HUNGRY!' She bellowed, turning into an even uglier (is that even POSSIBLE) creature who needed food. Like, NOW.

'Fuck my life…' Thought Sasuke as he closed his eyes and was trying to sleep which was impossible in their shitty conditions.

Sasuke was plotting suicide, while Karin ranted about her hunger, and Suigetsu smirked, as he pulled some crack out of his pocket. Hey, if he couldn't find the cure to the pain, why don't just numb it? He then took a straw from one of his various water containers, and started to sniff. This was going to be a long day. Was the both of the male's thoughts not including Karin cause Karin doesn't think due to her stupidity. I know, its that sad.. Well not really cause no one pities Karin. Like Ever.

Karin was really bored at the moment, so she decided to look outside the window, and outside that window was nature at its beauty. The birds were chirping, the squirrels were getting high on nuts, and the nearby river was full of fish. But since Karin looked out of the window, the beauty froze, and died. Cause the window acted like a magnifying glass sort off. So when Karin looked out, it enlarged her horrendous face.

And everyone knows, that when Karin shows her face, a part of the world dies. The birds chocked on their chirps and died. The squirrels got off their high, got sober, looked at Karin, and got petrified. The fish drowned in water (who the hell know that was possible?) and their bodies lifted up off of the cool water surface. The trees and grass instantly turned brown, and that once magnificent forest, fell to its knees in Karin's ugliness once again.

Suigetsu and Sasuke could only watch in horror was the once thriving forest beauty died at Karin's hands.

'Stupid forest.'

Was the only words she uttered, as she flipped her greasy hair (it was so greasy, that if you squeezed it, enough oil and grease could come out to fry a big-ass omelet on a pan and almost soak it in fatness that only Karin could obtain. Then Karin went to her corner, and raped Sasuke with her blood read eyes, as Sasuke would inwardly cry at the abuse. Cause of course, Uchihas don't cry on the outside.


OUTSIDE OF JAIL CELL, HOKAGE'S OFFICE-

The light was dim, kind of dim like in the old movies in the detective's office? Yeah that one. And the shutters were dusty and the hokage's desk was littered with papers, and empty bottles of Sake. The people who were in the room? Good question. The people where occupying the room were, Sai, Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi, and of course, Tsunade. The members of Team 7 were standing in a row, and Tsunade was sitting at her desk, giving them a stern look. Naruto was the first to piss his pants, and god, it smelt sooo GROSS. Sakura promptly smacked him upside the head, surprisingly calm unlike yesterday when she exploded. Kakshi had a solemn look on his face, and his Itch Itcha was nowhere in sight. Yes, it was that serious. Sai had his stupid fake smile on his face, art utensils on his back.

"Okay, since the Uchiha and Sakura have pent up sexual frustration, (insert woots and cheers from local perverts) I am putting Sakura in charge of Sasuke. Naruto, I am leaving you with the fishsticks kid, and Sai, I'm leaving you with Karin. Kakashi, I am putting you in charge for dropping in on them to see how they're doing. This mission is A-Ranked ("WOO A-RANKED MISSION" "SHUT THE HELL UP NARUTO!") and I suggest you take this seriously. These people are criminals, and the mission is over in 1 year. You are to tell NO ONE about this. Are we clear?" Tsunade said in a stern tone, looking at each member of Team 7 seriously.

"Hai." Was the words that each of them said, before using their epic-ninja skills and getting the hell out of Tsunade's office.


I don't own Naruto. :(

And yes, people that was the newset chapter, and I hope you are satisfied.

Please review and whatever :) It's highly appreaciated and it makes me want to write more. :P

I'm sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm sorry if it isn't funny. But I try.

And I'm sorry if it's too short... But its the fact that I updated counts right?

Ja Ne` (Review please?)

Christa-Chan.