I pace around the entire kitchen. I can feel Annie's wide green eyes following my every move, each time I go from one end of the kitchen to the other. I must have walked around this kitchen one hundred times in the past hour.
"Norah, just sit down. Walking a marathon isn't going to make the post come faster." Annie says with a small smile. I sigh and throw my head back before tuning to make my way back across the kitchen again.
"Sitting is just going to make me more nervous." I say and Annie chuckles before pulling out the chair next to her.
"Sit down Norah." She says and I sigh moving over to the wooden chair with the chipping white paint. She smiles and hands Finn over to me. I cuddle the baby in my hands and take a deep breath as Annie runs her hands through my hair before starting to french braid it.
Annie isn't crazy like many people assume she is. She's just off, Annie's actually a really great caring person and a fantastic mom. You just need to be careful with what you say to her, anything can set her off. One wrong word and Annie could go silent for a week.
"You shouldn't be so nervous anyways. I'm sure that you will be contracted to a fantastic husband." Annie says and I nod my head. She pulls at my hair a little too hard and I flinch, trying to get out of her grasp so that she doesn't pull out a chuck of my hair. That's all I needed to make Contract Day even more perfect, have a bald spot.
"Annie you're hurting me." I gasp out and my sister-in-law untangles her hand from my hair. Annie laughs uneasily but I can see the sorry in her eyes, she's sort of like a small child, sometimes she just can't help what she's doing.
Annie gets up from the table and separates herself from Finn and I. She's the one pacing now, trying to clear her mind of whatever bad thought is plaguing her mind at the moment. I stay silence, bouncing little Finn on my knee. The child looks up at me and I kiss the soft spot between his eyes. It's sad to think he won't really remember me.
"Annie." I say quietly and she looks over at me, biting her lip and trying to keep her hands from shaking. "Will you tell little Finn about me?"
Annie smiles and props herself up on the counter, still keeping her distance from us but the color in her face is coming back now. Her little episode is subsiding.
"Of course. You know that none of us are going to forget you, we all love you far too much to ever do that." Annie says and I smile looking down at my nephew again.
"Posts here!" Persi squeals from the front lawn. "Finnick give it back!" She screeches and I find my sister chasing my brother inside of the house trying to get the large Capital envelope back from him.
"It's not your letter!" He says with a laugh before running into the kitchen and holding it over her head, "Jump for it." He says with a teasing grin.
Persi does attempt to reach it but it's Annie who snatches it away from my brother. "It's not your letter either Finnick." She says before handing it out to me in trade for her son.
Finnick kisses Annie lightly on her cheek and then presses a kiss to the top of little Finn's head. I watch them carefully and sigh, you could see the love between them. I could only hope that would happen for me. It's a rare thing to be contracted to the person that you're supposed to be with, but my brother and Annie gave me hope. Perhaps my contract partner will look at me the same way.
Finnick turns his attention back to me and I smile smugly at my siblings as I hug the envelope close to my body just in case one of them tries to take it from me. They take their seats around the table, all of their eyes focusing on me and me alone. They look at me like I might disappear before their very eyes.
"I'll go get mama and dad!" Persi says before disappearing out the back door.
I run my hand over the Capitol seal and take a deep steady breath. This is it. Inside of this envelope is my top three matches, one of them will be my husband. I bite my lip and wait patiently for my parents to come inside with Persi. I feel like everyone is moving in slow motion, the feeling making me even more nervous. I begin to chew on my fingernails, gnawing them down until their short and jagged.
"Norah." My mother reprimands before slapping my hand away from my mouth, "I thought we broke that habit when your father put pepper under your nails. Don't think we won't do it again." She says in warning and I smile sheepishly, pulling my hand away from my mouth.
Persi jumps into the chair next to me and makes a face at me, "Well go on." She nudges me with her elbow, my small sister is more excited than I am, "Open it."
"I'm nervous." I say before showing my family my shaking hands, "Can you rip the seal for me?" I ask Persi and she nods snatching the envelope off the table before Finnick can even have a chance to make a grab for it. The seal tears with a loud rip and my sister slips her hand inside, pulling the contents out.
Persi lays each pictue and bio of my possible matches face down on the table, "I think you should flip them over." Persi says to me and I bite my lip looking at her, suddenly feeling like a small child.
"Come on Norah, what's the worst that can happen?" My father says and Finnick snorts next to him.
"The guy could be ugly." Finnick says and Persi smiles at him, a tiny giggle escaping her lips.
"Now I'm pretty sure I raised you kids to know that looks aren't everything." My mother scolds and Finnick lifts his shoulders with a grin.
"Sorry Ma." He says before looking at me, "We don't have all day Norah."
I nod my head in agreement and take a deep breath. My eyes fall on my mother and she nods her head encouragingly. When I was little she used to say, "Honeybee, all you need is five seconds of courage to make some of the biggest decisions of your life. You may regret those decisions later, but at least you know you were capable of doing it."
I take a deep breath and flip over the first picture and bio. The first boy is Marvel Anderson of District One. We have a compatibility rate of 78%. I tilt my head at his picture, my eyes skirting over his features. He isn't the most attractive and I can't help but compare him to Sinon. My eyes pointing out everything that Marvel is not.
"He's a shop owner." I say and my mother claps her hands together at the thought of me being married to a merchant.
"He looks dull, you probably wouldn't be happy with him." Annie points out and I can't help but laugh at how easily Annie can speak her mind. She has no filter when around the family, it's kind of refreshing unless her critical remarks are pointed at you.
I push the boy from District One back into the envelope and flip over the next paper.
"Cato Barlow, District Two." Persi reads out loud to the table and I bite my lip. My eyes skirt over his picture and I can easily tell that he's cold and heartless.
The sharpness of his icy blue eyes gives it away easily. He smirks at the camera instead of smiling like most. I swallow and look up at my family, "Compatibility 87%" I say and Persi touches my shoulder easily, she can feel my uneasiness.
Cato and I have a high compatibility rate, so there isn't a doubt in my mind that he'll be my husband. I do't even want to flip over the other picture because I'm almost positive that it won't beat a compatibility rate of 87%
"He's a military official." Finnick says after he snatches the paper out of my hand to read it himself. My father grunts in distaste and Finnick's eyes narrow at Cato's picture.
My father and brother can't stand those who work for the military because it usually means that they side with the Capital and everything they stand for. My mother puts a hand on my fathers arm, "Don't ruin this for Norah." She whispers and my father grunts again.
"Finnick." Annie warns as well but my brother continues to glare at the picture, like he was thinking of all the ways he could hurt this boy.
"Maybe he won't be so bad." Persi says trying to ease the tension and my brother rolls his eyes handing me the paper with a thrust of his arm. I quickly shove it into the envelope and look at my brother.
He's the definition of protective brother and I know this whole process is killing him, especially knowing that I might be contracted to a person who might hurt me. I've seen first hand what Finnick can do to a boy that ends up hurting me. Sinon has had plenty of run-ins with my brother because of the constant teasing that Sinon put me through. He usually would just threaten Sinon, he only actually hit him one time and that was after I came home with a fishing hook stuck in my scalp. It had been an accident of course and Sinon apologized profusely, but Finnick gave him a black eye for it. Thinking about it now I'm surprised Sinon didn't stay away from me after that, but he's stubborn and a lot like Finnick. Perhaps that's why my brother wanted me to stay away from him.
I smile at my brother and then flip over the last picture. I swallow studying the image. The boy, or rather man, is what my sister Kassi would call tall, dark, and handsome. Gale Hawthorne of District Twelve stares back up at me with a crooked smile and grey eyes the same color of clouds after a storm. He has black hair like Sinon, but his is more of an inky black, the kind where if the light hits it right his hair will shine with a blue tint.
His face is placid, like he'd much rather be doing a million of other things, "Compatibility 93%" I whisper in awe and my mother's mouth drops.
Persi acts like she's fainted and I chuckle at her, my eyes only lifting away from the picture for a mere few seconds before my eyes fall back on him again. "I think you have a little drool." Finnick says before reaching over to wipe my chin.
I slap his hand away and instead he grabs the paper from me. "He's a coal miner, demolitions expert to be exact. Which means he'll probably blow himself and leave my sister with a burden of four children."
I snatch the paper from his hand and glare at him. "Finnick," my mother gasps, "I don't know why you're acting so terrible. This should be a happy time for your sister."
"A happy time Ma?" Finnick says with a dark sarcastic laugh, "There taking a family member away from us. Why should we be happy? I'm never going to see my sister and your never going to see your daughter again. If you ask me we should start fighting for our rights, let us marry whoever we want." Finnick says standing up and slamming his fist on the table. My mother nods his head in agreement.
"You're really going to tell me that you're happy with this Tanya? Our daughters being taken from us?" My dad asks and looks torn.
I stand up, upset by their treasonous words. I gather together my mail and stomp my way down the hallway into my room. I make sure to slam my door for added effect. I toss my mail onto the dresser and lock the door so that no one will bother me, not that I'm going to stay here. I slip out my bedroom window and land on the soft lawn in our front yard. The way the kitchen window is positioned my family won't be able to see me leave.
Sinon's house is closest to mine, so I decide to see what he's up to. The sun is just starting to set in our small District and I look up at the sky to watch the swirling colors. Sinon's house is at the end of the neighborhood, he lives in a small green house with a white trim.
Sinon is outside playing with his two younger sisters. He has one tossed over his shoulder and he's spinning her around. She screams with shrill laughter and I smile watching the scene. Sinon is going to be a great husband and father, the thought is like a blow to my stomach and I clear my voice.
"Hey Norah." Sinon says before jogging across his yard to unlock the gate for me. His sister bounces across his shoulders and her sweet laugh bubbles out of her.
"Hi Sinon." I say as I step into his yard. He frowns and places his little sister onto the soft grass. His eyes soften and he tilts his head at me, like he can tell what's wrong with me by studying me.
"Sarah, go play with Connie." Sinon says and the little girl nods before wrapping her skinny arms around my leg in greeting. I smile half heartedly at her and pat the top of her head.
When the girls run off Sinon brushes a loose piece of my hair from my face. His touch is gentle and even though I know it's supposed to make me feel better, it makes me feel worse. I pull away from him and try to blink back my tears.
"What's wrong?" He asks quietly and I shake my head. "Come on." He says before taking my hand into his and bringing me inside of his house. His mother is working around the kitchen and when she see's me she smiles.
"Hello Norah, dear." She says and I put on a fake smile. "Did you get your matches?"
"Oh, yes. I'll probably be contracted to a boy in District Twelve." I say and her grin widens.
"I'm from District Twelve," she says and her eyes go someplace far away, remembering her home. "Tell me, is the boy a coal miner?"
"Yes." I say and Sinon's mother smiles knowingly.
"He'll be the best husband. Men from the Seam know how to care for their families. I wouldn't worry about it all." Sinon's mother says and Sinon tenses next to me. Was he jealous?
"What about you?" I ask Sinon as he pulls me into his bedroom. It's messy and Sinon has to push a pile of clothes off his bed so that I can sit down.
"Some blonde girl from District One." He says before reaching for the envelope. He pulls out her photo and I smile looking down at how beautiful she is.
"She's gorgeous." I say with a smile and Sinon agree's with a small smile.
"So what's the matter Norah?" Sinon says as he gets up to open his window. The sea air hits us instantly and I take a deep breath.
"Just everything about this whole process. My brother just, I don't know he was talking like he wanted to start a rebellion." I say and Sinon makes a face looking out the window.
From his room you can see the ocean, but it's a different ocean then the one I can see from my room. This is the wild ocean, the ocean the Capital keeps us away from. The one that's out of District boundaries. I used to dream about escaping to that place but now that dream just seems like a death wish.
"You know I used to wish that I could swim under the fence and just keep swimming, run away from everything." I whisper quietly and Sinon nods his head in agreement.
"That's a very treasonous thought for you." Sinon says with a chuckle and I smile. He was right, maybe I am a little like my father and brother.
"You know how every year, there's a pair of sweethearts that runaway?" He asks, still looking out the window and I nod my head even though he's not looking at me, "Do you think any of them ever made it? Or do you think they were all caught and turned into Avoxes?"
"I like to think that some of them made it out, but I doubt it. The Capital probably got to them before they made it five miles." I say and Sinon sighs.
"Maybe he's right though." Sinon says looking at me, "You're brother, I mean if we rebelled, if all the Districts stood up together, then we would be able to marry whoever we wanted, whenever we wanted."
"This is our duty to the Capital." I say and Sinon frowns sitting in front of me. He touches my face gently and brushes away the tears that I hadn't realized had fallen down my face. "Thinking this way is dangerous and I wish everyone would just accept the fact that a Rebellion isn't happening and Contract Day is. There's nothing we can do about it, our fate is set now."
"Why did you come here to talk about this?" Sinon asks quietly but I can tell he's angry, "Why come to me if you don't like anything I'm going to say?"
"I don't know." I admit and he frowns. "I just hoped you would act like you always do. Happy, and looking forward to whatever is going to happen in the future."
"I can't be happy about this, but I'll pretend if it makes you feel better." He says with a grin and I laugh, nodding my head.
We sit in his room for a few hours, talking about random things. He could make me laugh and my anger at my brother from earlier melts away each time Sinon makes me smile. He seems distant though, like now that we have our three matches we are no longer the same people.
Sinon walks me home and he makes no attempt to place his arm over my shoulder or hold my hand. Our feelings for each other were too much to handle sometimes, we wanted to act on them but we couldn't, especially now that we've seen the faces of our potential spouses.
"Norah?" Sinon says before I climb back into the house through my window. The bedroom door is still locked and closed, my family probably thought I had fallen asleep.
I turn to look at him and he presses his soft lips to mine. The kiss aches in my chest and even though I want to, I can't kiss him back. "If you asked," Sinon says after he pulls away, "I would run away with you."
I swallow and climb in through my window feeling the tears finally sliding down my face. I don't watch him walk away I just close the drapes on m window and let out a strangled sob into my hand. I push the papers off my dresser and flop onto my bed, burying my face into my pillow.
I don't understand how Kassi made this look so easy. My older sister had barely cried the weeks before leading up to Contract Day, my sister actually seemed happy. Kassi always reminded me that this is our duty to the Capital, she said it so much that Finnick would tell me afterwards that that way of thinking is disgusting. He told me that the Capital wasn't always right and that I needed to think for myself.
I believed Kassi though and adopted her way of thinking instead of Finnick's. As long as I followed the Capital's rules than I wouldn't get hurt.
A/N:
Thanks for all the great feedback you guys! I really appreciate it. I hope you like this chapter.
Let me know what you think!
