Ciao Loves!
So here's chapter 3 =D i absolutely loved writing it i'm not sure why but I hope you like it! =) Thanks a million to those who took the time to review so far! I LOVE YOU for doing so 3 and I hope i'm not deceiving any of you so far!
=)
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III.
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Plan B : Baby Bunny.
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Dear Dr Phil…
I honestly curse the day you were born. I mean are you sure you're even a man? Because in all honesty I doubt any man worthy of that name would ever even think of writing a book as absurd as yours. I mean really ABSTAIN SEX FOR 4 WEEKS? I must ask what the bloody hell was going through your mind at the time you wrote this bowl of crap you call a guide to better sex because I cannot conceive any good reason why a MAN would propose to the feminine sex that they retain sex for longer than a few days at most.
Anyway, you'll be happy to know I'm doing my very best at the moment to ban your books from every single bookstore in the world and also if you find a few policemen on your stoop one morning, know that my petition to send you to jail has brilliantly succeeded.
Sincerely,
Draco Malfoy.
Satisfied with my letter, I attach it to my owl. I feel the least I can do is tell this Dr Philischmuckbuckethead how I feel about his crappy guide.
As it is now, the plan A Potter and I had come up with failed miserably the very minute we introduced the subject over dinner yesterday. Pansy and Hermione both made it clear that it wasn't even necessary that we try to convince them.
So here I am. Analyzing plan B. Not to walk around the house naked for Merlin's sake, I do have 4 children!
No… Plan B being doing every single thing in my power to have Hermione want me so much she'll be the one begging for sex. Potter came up with that bright idea and since I really have no other alternatives, I'll have to settle with it.
A small knock on my door tells me the important guests I'd been waiting for have arrived.
I open the door to let two lovely girls into my office.
"Hello Daddy" Axiliah, the oldest one, greets as she walks into the room, dragging her little sister by the hand behind her.
"Why hello my loves" I pick both of them up into a hug.
"Daddy… Isn't this a business meeting?" Axiliah reprimands, "Must I remind you we need to keep it formal?"
"Uh… Yes sorry love, I mean Miss Malfoy… Please… Take a seat…"
"Daddy I need help!" Starkaliss says standing in front of the chair waiting for me to put her into it.
"Yes right away…"
"So what's this about…? We have a tea party to attend in a few minutes…"
I snicker at how impatient my 7 year old can be.
"Well Ax'… I need you girl's help with something…"
"I figured that much…" She says, rolling her eyes, "However can we help?"
Leaning against my desk, I proceed to tell them the first part to my plan.
"Hum… I think we can do that…" Axiliah says slowly, tapping her chin with her index. "But what do we get out of it?"
"Yes what do we get 't'of it?" Starkaliss repeats, smiling with all her missing teeth.
"I'm getting bribed by a 7 year old and a 4 year old isn't that lovely!" I mutter with a smirk.
"Well we are your daughters dear daddy… what is it they say? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" Axiliah grins evilly.
"Yeah yeah yeah nonsense! I'll take both of you to Your Uncle Weasleys shop for some treats, how does that sound?"
"Yayyy! Can we go tomorrow then?" Stark' agrees immediately as Axiliah seems to take a moment to analyze the offer.
"I think I want a poney…"
"A poney?" I repeat dumbfounded. "What do you plan to do with a poney?"
"I want to kill it and cook it for dinner…" She says looking at me disbelievingly. "l ride it of course! I wonder about you mental abilities sometimes Daddy…"
"Oh the evil little witch" I think very loudly. But I refrain myself from wording such thoughts out loud as that would evidently compromise the completion of the plan.
"Fine Pickle… I'll get you a poney but only if the plan is completed to my satisfaction…"
"Dad… I really don't like it when you call me pickle…" she frowns, "But it's a deal! Goodbye now Father! Come on Stark' let's go to our tea party!"
"Bye Daddy!" Starkaliss sings as she hugs my legs and runs out the room with her sister.
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Later that day…
"MUMMMM!"
"I'm the kitchen honey!" Hermione responded cutting the carrots into little circles.
From the corner of her eye, she watched as the two little girls came running into the kitchen.
"Hey mummy…"
"Hello sweethearts. Dinner's almost ready… Are you girls hungry?"
"Yes very!" Starkaliss sang, struggling to hike up her chair.
With Hermione's help, she sat down, imitating her sister's stance.
"So mum… Me and Stark' were thinking…" Axiliah started, resting her head into her right hand.
"Stark and I honey not the other way 'round"
"Oops sorry. So yes… You know how you said it was easy to make babies?"
Stopping her carrot slicing process, Hermione turned around, looking suspiciously at the two blonde girls sitting around the island.
"Yes…"
"You said all you had to do was bring eggs to the Baby Bunny and he'd make his magic happen for you to have a baby…"
"Uh… Yes I remember that…"
"Well… we were thinking we wanted a baby brother…"
"Or sister!" Starkaliss pitched in kicking her feet about under the table.
"Brother or sister yes… So I've decided that since you were too busy with work to do it yourself, Stark' and I would do it for you!"
Choking in her glass of water, Hermione coughed. For some odd reason, there was that Malfoyish look in Axiliah's eyes and so she couldn't help wondering if Draco was behind all this.
"Did your father put you up to this, girls?" She asked slowly, examining every one of Axiliah's features for her reaction.
"Why would daddy put us up to this? Are you two mad at each other?" the older girl asked as innocently as an angel, looking at her mother through her desperately grey eyes.
"Uh… of course not honey…"
"Well then why are you even asking mum? Anyways, it's just that me and Stark'… oops Stark' and I, want a sibling to play with…"
"Can I have some juice mummy?" Starkaliss asked in that singing voice of hers, not really understanding what was going on.
"Hum… sure honey" she poured her daughter a glass of apple juice while asking "But Ax' love… you have 2 older brothers… Why don't you play with them?"
"Because DUH mummy, they're old. They don't like playing with dolls and having tea parties with us anymore…" she said, all the while looking utterly saddened by her statement. "All they ever want to do is play quidditch and since you won't let daddy teach me how to ride a broom…" she trailed, wrinkling her nose and taking a sip of her little sister's drink.
"I see… Well Pickle, the Baby Bunny is on vacation this month…" she coughed, finding it ridiculous to be lying over such an unreal matter.
"Oh really…" Axiliah trailed, squinting her eyes and looking suspiciously at her mother whom she knew was lying. "He must really love then me because I wrote him a letter along with the eggs Stark' and I sent, and he said he'd be more than happy to put a baby into your stomach tonight!"
She exhibited all her teeth as she watched her mother's face grow red.
"And he said that by February of next year, 9 months from now, our baby brother or sister will be born. He said I could count on him for certain!"
"Did he really?" Hermione asked, feeling nervous all of a sudden.
"Oh yes he did!" Axiliah said as she hoped off the chair and went over her mother, patting her stomach slowly "See you soon little baby…"
She flashed an almost evil smile at her mum and went on to help Starkaliss off her chair to then run back to their room.
All the while, Hermione watched, wondering if she should break her daughter's heart by telling her she lied and that there was no Baby Bunny or if perhaps she should put the sex retreat off to another time… Merlin only knew how badly she wanted to have sex with her husband anyway…
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So there it was! =)
I really really hope you liked itttt! And maybe if you have a second you can let me know in a few words, I'd really appreciate it! You have no idea how happy i get when i receive a review!
But anyways, I was wondering if you guys would actually like to have a little Pansy/Harry episode in one of the upcoming chapters... Yes? No? Bad idea? I mean i thought it could be interesting to see how they're dealing with the whole sex diet thing lol so just let me know i guess...
Kay well the next chapter should be up before next friday and maybe before if i'm done with it!
Kisses,
Mrs Malfoyy
