Blind love ch 2

**************Jasper pov

The dream was so realistic; I was convinced it was real. Mom and I were together and we were smiling, we had to be in heaven if we were this happy. The grass was lush and a dark shade of green I had never seen before. There were trees and flowers surrounding us... we were happy, something we had not been in a long time. Then, from the far end of the meadow smoke started rising in columns toward the sky. I tried to run but there was no escaping the fire.

I screamed, terror filling me I tried to sit up and get away, pain smashed into me full force and I fell back against the mattress with one last scream. It had all been a dream, on one hand I was relieved to not be burning again, but on the other I was devastated to have to go on living without my mom. That was the one good thought I had as I burned for real, I was finally going to die, finally be with my mom forever. But like my attempt at suicide, someone had to save me, thought they were doing me a favor by keeping me alive. All I wanted for months now was to die, to be at peace away from my father, away from the hassles of life. A familiar despair settled over me and I wasn't sure if it was my devastation that brought the tears or the pain. Either way I tried to quiet my sobbing in a vain attempt at not waking Edward, my new roommate. Since I had screamed, twice, I wasn't surprised when I heard Edward get out of bed and shuffle his way over in the darkness.

"Are you ok?" He whispered, sitting down on the bed next to me. I nodded and bit my lip trying to control myself. I didn't fool him, he reached out and, after finding my head, began to run his fingers slowly through my hair. The motion was soothing and gradually I was able to calm down.

"I had a bad dream." I whispered quietly to him. Why I felt inclined to share this with him I'm not sure. Something about him just instantly put me at ease.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head, realizing too late that he couldn't see me.

"Not really." He sighed and went back to running his fingers through my curls.

"It's ok Jasper, when you're ready we'll talk." That was what he had said every time I had woken up crying. Edward and I had been roommates for 4 days now and so far he had yet to push about my dreams, about anything really. The days were spent with him talking and telling me stories about him and his brother Emmett. He knew I didn't want to talk about what happened to me, I didn't really want to talk at all, so he filled the silence so it didn't get awkward. I learned a lot about Edward in there last few days. His birth parents were horrible people; both were into drugs and drank all the time. He had been taken into foster care when he was 5 and lived there until he was 12, the Cullen's adopted him and after Emmett connected with him things got much better. Tired I closed my eyes and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. I awoke alone the next morning. Edward was back in his own bed and was snoring softly. We hardly knew each other and yet he was going out of his way for me. Nobody had ever done that before, I was just another foster kid to them, slipping through the cracks in the foster system. I was too messed up; when I was younger many families had been interested in adopting me. That was before they were told of my past, extreme abuse mental, physical and sexual in nature made me untouchable. No family wanted a kind with my level of problems in their home. I was unstable, withdrawn, and in therapy for PTSD, I didn't expect anyone to want me. A nurse interrupted my musings; she looked over at Edward sleeping soundly in his bed and walked quietly over to my bed. She eased the curtain around my bed and reached for my bandages. I whimpered, this was the first time my bandages would be changed with Edward in the room. Usually Edward was at PT for his shoulder fracture, the bandages were always painful to remove and I was thankful that he couldn't hear me scream.

"It's ok Jasper, I'll be gentle, just take a few deep breaths and we'll begin. Gently she began unwrapping they came away covered in blood and puss, I gagged and she grabbed a bin in time for me to throw up into it. I closed my eyes and grit my teeth against the pain. The second degree burns were less painful to change the bandages for; it was the third degree ones that were the problem. I screamed as one particular bandage came off, the Kristen murmured reassurance to me and continued to ease them off. By the time she finally finished my throat was raw and my body burning. She pulled the curtain back and with a few more quiet words left the room. Immediately I heard Edward moving around, it was my fault he wasn't getting any sleep, if I could be stronger and not scream he would have been able to rest in peace.

"Are you ok Jasper?" he asked sounding worried. I nodded embarrassment flushing my cheeks.

"Yes, please just leave me alone." I whispered turning my face away from

his outstretched hand so he couldn't feel the tears dripping down my face. He

sighed and made his way slowly back to his own bed. Ashamed I buried my face

Into the pillows and let the tears continue to fall. Edward stayed quiet long after

My tears had stopped. At first I was thankful, but after a few hours of silence it became lonely. Edwards constant talking from yesterday was what had kept me from thinking about the accident. Now, with no distractions I was left to fend off the memories on my own. Eventually it became too much and I closed my eyes exhausted, sleep claimed me quickly and I was pulled into peaceful oblivion.

Three days had past and Edward still hadn't said a word to me. Admittedly I hadn't said anything to him either but what could I say? Sorry but I'm a pathetic looser and can't do anything for myself? I wanted to cry but forced the tears back, if I cried than I was the weak boy my father accused me of being. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths trying to relax. My body grew heavy and my eyes drooped, and I drifted to sleep. I woke gasping again, I half expected Edward to say something so when he didn't I glanced over to his bed. My breath caught in my throat and caused me to choke on it, Edward was gone. The clock read 7:30 so I knew he wasn't at PT, where was he? Did he get tired of my antisocial behavior and ask for another roommate? My heart constricted at the thought of someone else being with my Edward instead of me. My Edward? Where the fuck did that come from? I closed my eyes and tried my deep breathing but for the first time nothing happened, his face flashed behind my closed eyelids, even with his eyes covered by the gauze I knew they would be beautiful. The way he smiled when he was talking about his brother and sister, his laugh floated through my mind. Slowly my mind began processing everything, was it possible that I liked Edward, as more than just a friend? The only problem was I wasn't gay, I couldn't be. That was not me I was into girls not guys, but if I was into girls than why was Edwards the face flickering in my subconscious. Terrified my breathing got heavier and blackness started to close in, tears began streaking down my face as I screamed.

Hi everyone sorry it took me so long… I started a summer job and have been doing all of my summer school work. Hopefully u all are still with me, please review? Please? -Samantha