2.
We Were Contenders
Even Gabby was enjoying herself, Ellis noted.
The party was getting wilder. Music was blaring from the stereo someone had set up in the corner and Sadie and Brooke were dancing to it, shimmying and swinging. When their pestering Dominic finally paid off and he rose to join them, Ellis smiled. He was glad he had chosen to come. Though he wasn't inclined to join the movement that seemed to dominate the room, he was getting just as much enjoyment watching it all happen. The cold cup in his hand was a reminder to enjoy himself, to let loose. He could smell the tequila, and lifted the glass to his lips and drank. The grapefruit juice washed the bitter cactus-derived alcohol down well.
Misty was giving Vin a lap dance, and the latter wasn't smart or sober enough to realize that the performance was more teasing than it was arousing. Ellis knew that no matter how hard Vin would ever try, Misty would never fall for--or sleep with--him. It wasn't that she felt superior or was repulsed by the slob, but their relationship was more sibling-like than romantic. So her shaking her ass in his face served the purpose of rubbing this fact in, taunting him. Ellis wasn't particularly fond of the guy and half hoped that she would crush his boasted-about balls with her foot. That would make an excellent night.
Gabby and Addy were chatting on the sofa, the initial tension eased--or at least dulled--by the drinks. Ellis knew exactly why Gabby was hesitant to welcome back Addison with open arms... he, in fact, was feeling the same way. What she had done was unforgivable and completely inconsiderate. He had forgiven her. He could not, however, forget.
Jayde and Lex were having a great time playing some card game at the kitchen counter. Laughing it up, having a grand old time. Jayde was flying through her drinks but Ellis knew from past experiences that she could hold her liquor. He was always impressed with that, since she stood no more than five-foot-two and had almost no extra pounds on her. He caught himself contemplating whether all that alcohol went to her chest.
Sadie was slutting it up with Dominic, dancing shamelessly. He was thrilled, laughing harder than Ellis had seen him laugh in a long time, and tried his best to mimic Sadie's moves. Giving up--apparently Dom's legs weren't meant for popping, locking and dropping that frequently--he playfully called Lex over. The latter sheepishly shook his head but Brooke was right there, pulling him by the hand and pulling him close.
It was all getting to be a little much for Ellis and he decided to head upstairs.
The alcohol in his system wasn't enough for him to go wild, but just enough for him to stumble a bit as he walked out of the room and yawned. He had brought his belongings upstairs shortly after arriving, choosing his bedroom, and figured he might as well change into something more comfortable before drinking anymore.
He took the stairs slowly since his legs were tired from the long drive here. When he reached the second floor he paused at the end of the hallway. Thinking. Deciding that he did not need to use the restroom after all, he trudged past the rooms on either side of him and stepped through the door of his. The bed just inside bounced slightly as he dropped onto it. After removing his shirt--the buttons took him entirely too long to unbutton--he unbuttoned his pants and let himself fall backwards, onto his back. I really shouldn't be this tired.
The voice just outside the door prompted him to lift his head.
"Ellis?" Jayde's voice echoed down the hall. "Marco!"
"Polo!" he responded with a chuckle. An instant later Jayde was at the door.
"What are you doing up here?"
He glanced down at himself. "Getting naked, apparently."
With a sly smile, Jayde teased, "Looks like you're struggling with that."
Ellis' chest tightened. He wasn't inebriated enough to not see where this was heading. It took him only an instant to contemplate, weigh the pros and cons, and decide. It wasn't like this had never happened before. He just didn't expect it to happen again. The smile that played at the corners of his lips was a response to his pulse quickening.
"Yeah, I am. A helping hand is always appreciated."
Jayde took two steps into the room and silently closed the door behind her. Her lips found his, even in the dark, and his breath quickened as her fingers worked their way around the back of his head and tugged at his hair. This was going to be a good night after all.
"Well," said Dominic with a sly grin, "this is really embarrassing."
"Shut up!" pressed Addy, "Tell us!"
"I'm ashamed," he confessed with a shrug.
"I've heard this story," interjected Sadie, "and it's funny. He's not ashamed, he's proud."
Dominic, trying to catch his breath between fits of laughter, conceded, "yeah, okay. It was awesome." His grin faded. "It was mean, though!" he insisted. "I guess it did show her true colors..."
"Come on," begged Addy.
"Fine," sighed Dominic, clearly loving the attention. "So back in Junior year, you remember when I went through that 'raver' phase?..."
Lex listened carefully, enraptured. He loved the way Dominic spoke. His barely-there arrogant grin, the way in which he carefully elaborated on his stories, his hands dancing around at the level of his chest to emphasize his emotion, his natural knack for the dramatic. The way he'd slip off into tangents and get so excited that he spoke a million miles an hour so that he could get back to the main story. The way his digressing drove him insane. His lips moving, the fact that although his smile was perfectly symmetrical he favored one side of his mouth when talking so he had this adorable crooked grin throughout his speech. The light behind those perfect blue eyes. His self-proclaimed 'edgy' hairstyle getting messed up when he would express his frustration in parts of his stories by tugging on it. His baritone voice that would ascend from rousingly deep to amusingly high while he began to speak faster...
Lex was sincerely in awe of this being. The love he refrained from expressing with words he tried desperately to convey to Dominic through fleeting glances, through subtle touches, the tone of his voice as their bodies entwined in sheer ecstasy, the way he said Dom's name during intimacy. Lex knew he loved Dominic. He just couldn't bring himself to say it. He felt--and hoped more than anything--that Dominic understood.
"...Well the reason I jumped on the raver bandwagon in the first place was because I was in lust with this guy who I was convinced was queer. And oh-my-god if he didn't turn out to be the most vagina-hungry, STD collecting S-O-B to walk the earth. You remember him, Sadie? Yeah, yeah you do. The way he tried so hard to pick you up outside of the movie theater? God, how nauseating can you get?
"Anyway, I went to this rave with this really disgusting bimbo that I met at youth group in like sixth grade when I still went. So we get dressed up, get all kinds of psyched to go raving, you know how it is. So I get that girl Amber who tried to sleep with me--this was before that, so don't worry--get her to drive us there. So it's me, Amber and this girl Becky.
"We get inside and things are going well. I see this guy that I'm totally hard for and I talk to him, chat him up. He tells me and Becky that some guy is selling E at a great price. I happen to know this guy from some party I had gone to on Halloween. He remembered me, and Becky was dying to try E. So she says, 'hey, Nicky...' yeah, she called me Nicky. Like Dominic, Nick, Nicky. Pissed me off but I never really had nicknames, so I dug it.
"'Hey, Nicky, can you buy some E for me?' and I tell her, he's right over there. He'll sell it to you. Just take your money to him and tell him what you want. Don't worry. And of course she's like 'I'm scared, I can't do it. He's a drug dealer.' So I'm like, 'sure, yeah, don't worry.'"
Lex could tell that Dominic was getting really into the story. He was commanding the attention of everyone in the room. Gabby, still lounging on the sofa against the far wall, was leaning forward in anticipation. the rest of the group was in a makeshift circle around Dominic, watching him intently. Lex smiled, proud of his baby. He was an entertainer. And... was this really turning him on? Something about everyone being so into Dominic--even if it was just into his story--aroused Lex. He was getting excited.
The bond between the two men had been like iron since the moment Dominic had confessed his feelings for Lex. They had been friends for a good year--if you could call them friends, more like friendly acquaintances--and things had been building for a couple of weeks. This was just after high school. Dominic had gone to school somewhere in Eagle River and Lex in Anchorage, so they had never gone to school together or met. Shortly after Dominic moved to Anchorage to start college, they met and hung out a handful of times at parties hosted by mutual friends. Lex wasn't 'out of the closet' because he felt that there was no closet to come out from.
He considered bisexuality a term trivialized by attention-seeking young girls growing into skanks who used it as an excuse to kiss other girls at parties to get the attention of guys they knew would plow them in a heartbeat. Besides, he didn't feel that it fit him. Polysexual was a better term. The easiest way for him to describe his 'orientation' was simple: he was sexually attracted to anyone he was emotionally attracted to.
Which was how it started. The only times they had ever spent alone were times when they both showed up early to a group gathering or party--something that soon became an unspoken arrangement. They would show up fifteen minutes at first, then twenty minutes, forty five, an hour. They bonded slowly, enjoying each other's company more than anything. 'The talk' had started innocently. Dominic, who had never been shy about who he was, casually mentioned something about a sexual experience he had found strange. Something about his partner's dangleberries. Lex, who had only been with another man once before and had never divulged this information to anyone, responded with a story of a similar experience. For all intents and purposes he had just come out of the closet. And Dominic was right there to confirm what Lex had been suspecting for weeks. "I'm starting to realize that I have feelings for you, Alexander Gregory. And if that makes you uncomfortable, I understand and think we should..."
Dominic never finished that sentence. Lex had instinctively pulled him into a kiss, a kiss that changed everything and opened his eyes to something he had never before felt in such magnitude: love.
Two weeks ago, to the day, Lex had spent the night with Dominic in his cheap studio apartment. Something had been weighing on his mind. Dominic, using some sixth sense Lex couldn't have anticipated, knew. Lex had been on his side, sheets draped carelessly over his hipbone. His arm was going numb, tucked under his pillow so his head was cutting off the circulation. He hadn't noticed. Figuring Dominic was asleep, he stared mindlessly across the room. Thinking. The hand that had slipped beneath his arm and found its way to his stomach caught him off guard. Dominic's fingers traced invisible lines and foreign symbols across his abs, disturbing the hair there and eventually settling just beneath his chest. "Something's bothering you," the words more of an observation than a question. Lex had been silent. The soft kiss against his shoulder had somehow pushed him over the edge into forbidden territory and for the first time in a long time he had cried.
When all was said and done Lex had done something he had never done before: tell his story. The love he felt for Dominic in that moment, as Dominic's soft arms, feeling like a steel barrier against everything Lex was scared of, held him until his tears dried and he slipped into disturbed dreams, was limitless. Undying. Real.
"So I take her money," Dominic was wrapping the listeners around his story telling little finger tighter and tighter, "and walk up to this guy. Tell him I need E. He gives me an option and I have no idea what the difference is, so I take what the hot guy had suggested. Grab a bottle of water and with the E in my hand make my way back to the dance floor.
"Now you know those beads ravers are obsessed with? Call 'em 'candy' beads? The thick little plastic--yeah, those. Well I happen to be looking down and see one little stranded candy bead on the floor. And this idea crosses my mind. I think, what if... I get back to Becky and act all sly, like I'm expecting to get caught. I take her hand and shove the bead into it. Hand her the bottle of water. 'Quick,' I say, 'take it. Before anyone sees.' And she does. Just like that, swallows this bead."
The room's noise could be easily separated into two categories: gasps and sharp, triumphant laughs.
"So of course I take the E pill and bring it to the hot guy, slip it to him, tell him what I did. He thinks it's great and drops the bomb. I think 'whatever, I'll dance with him once it hits.' Turns out I had to babysit Becky all night because she was acting like a total slut, acting like she was rolling. She would get all up on these fat, sweaty guys and rub her shit in their faces. 'Touch you...' she'd say, 'oh! Touch me!' Oh boy, that was a bad night. So I get home and crash, Amber sleeps in the living room with Becky on the floor. Turns out Becky spent half the night fingering herself and moaning loud enough to keep Amber awake."
The laughter turned into disgusted giggles. Dominic relaxed in his seat, pleased with himself. The group started talking, Vin asking, "Was this chick hot?" Dominic replying, "Did I not describe her as a disgusting bimbo?" "Well yeah, but was she hot?"
Lex, as amused with the story as everyone else, stood and wandered to the kitchen to fix himself another drink. He was getting tired. But as he glanced across the bar and made eye contact with Dominic, those ethereal blue eyes that beckoned him, his exhaustion dissipated. Let's blow this party and get our own started.
Gabby, slurring her words, shouted, "Has anyone seen Jayde?"
Vin was nearing the point of no return. Already considerably wasted from the champagne and rum he had been drinking since the arrival of his sister and the booze two hours prior, the tequila he was now sipping on would floor him sooner or later.
He was hoping later. He'd like to get some fun in.
Ellis stepped into the kitchen with an empty glass, catching Vin off guard.
"Hey, dog," he said, drawing out the vowel in the latter word and giggling at its sound, "where ya been?"
"Upstairs," said Ellis softly. Vin assumed he had a headache; he was slightly pale and was squinting in order to see what he was doing. Then again, Vin realized, it could be the impressive amount of alcohol he had downed.
"So," started Vin, respectfully keeping his voice level down--to everyone else, it still sounded near a yell; volume was one thing Vin lost control of when he had been drinking--so he wouldn't aggravate Ellis' headache. He swayed a bit, setting down his glass so he could steady himself with a hand on the counter. "You glad Addison's back? It's been so long since she's been around. I really missed her. What do you think's so good about Oregon, anyway?"
Ellis, unscrewing the cap of the tequila bottle, began filling his cup. After stirring in some limeade, he replied coldly, "I didn't miss her as much as everyone else did. I don't know what's so good about Oregon, but I think it's a perfect place for her to run off to when a friend needs her."
Initially furrowing his brow in confusion, Vin's jaw slackened as he began to understand what Ellis was referring to. "Oh... come on, man. You're not still mad about that, are you?"
Ellis froze. He turned to face Vin. There was fire in his eyes but his voice was even colder when he said, "Yes. I am still fucking mad about it." An exasperated laugh was followed by, "you really are as incredibly dumb as you are ugly. God damn stupid ass piece of shit." Jaw clenched, he turned to storm out of the kitchen.
It took only a moment for Ellis' words to hit Vin. When they did, his mind blanked. Maybe the tequila had just hit him, maybe he was just sensitive to insults. Maybe he just had anger issues. Whatever the reason, the room fell silent as his glass shattered against the wall where he had launched it. The drink sprayed in every direction, a shard of glass catching Ellis' face. Ellis, reacting to the contact, instantly spun on one heel and dropped his glass on the counter beside him, the spilled beverage quickly spreading to each corner and beginning to run off onto the floor.
"What?" pushed Ellis, "bitch can't take the truth?"
Two steps forward and Vin's open palms found Ellis' chest, shoving him violently backward, sending him stumbling into the room beyond. Gabby, almost directly behind Ellis, hurried out of the way.
"What the hell?" she shot at the feuding boys.
"Your brother was a faggot-ass pussy," jeered Vin. The following silence was complete and lasted only a fraction of a second. Long enough for Gabby's jaw to drop and eyes stretch in horror, Addy's hands to fly to her mouth, Brooke to leap to her feet, fuming and Sadie to latch onto her arm to stop her. Long enough for Dominic to leap out of his chair, for Lex to reach for his hand in pleading worry, for Misty to peek her head out of the bathroom down the hall, for Jayde to swallow her mouthful of champagne.
Then all hell broke loose.
Dominic's accusing, "What is your problem, shithead? You don't say that!", Brooke's "Vin, you stupid, don't start shit!", Gabby's "How dare you!?". Contact was made three ways. Ellis' charging shoulder into Vin's stomach, Vin's fist into the back of Ellis' head and Gabby's hurled glass into Vin's nose.
The fight lasted only a minute before it was broken up.
When all was said and done, almost everyone had spread to their respective rooms. Vin, lying in his bed with Brooke holding a plastic bag of ice to his nose, was trying to hide his tears. It wasn't as though Brooke had never seen him cry before. He was ashamed. Not used to feeling guilt, Vin knew this incident was entirely preventable and completely his fault. He had been completely out of line and had attacked Ellis below the belt. He had offended at least three people. The rest, he was sure, were upset with him for starting the drama at all.
"Brooke, I want to be alone."
"Sure, bud." Gently removing the ice, she stood. With sad eyes she looked down at him, wishing that she could reach out to her brother and really communicate with him. Vin looked away. He missed being able to talk with Brooke, but things had changed. "I'm leaving this ice here," she said softly and setting the bag on a table near the door, "just in case you need it again. Love you, see you in the morning."
He didn't respond.
Jayde sat in the now-empty kitchen with Misty, using towels to clean up the mess. She felt odd, a strange ambivalence about Ellis' behavior. She still felt dirty from their intimacy, and his explosion of emotion so soon after their tryst frightened her. Only forty-five minutes ago we were in his bed, she thought weakly, and now Gabby's patching up his battle wounds.
She was shaking. The alcohol was still pumping through her system and she suspected that it had something to do with the chill crawling down her spine.
"Jayde…"
Jayde looked up. Misty, seated on the counter above her with a rag in hand, mopping up the spilled tequila and lime, looked unsure of herself. Jayde's stomach sunk, knowing what was coming. She hadn't told Misty about the dark past the group of friends shared and wasn't eager to divulge the information now. But after what had happened, she felt Misty had a right to know.
"…what was that all about? I—I was so scared, I've never seen anyone that mad before."
Misty wasn't talking about Vin, oh no. She knew Vin had a dull wit and a sharp temper. Everyone practically expected behavior like that from Vince Watson. But John Ellis, on the other hand, was always so composed. So mild mannered. Jayde herself could hardly believe what had just happened.
A moment to compose herself. That's what she needed.
"Just a second," she told Misty, "I'll be right back."
Setting the damp towel in the sink, Jayde slowly walked out of the kitchen and turned down the hall, easing past the stairway and slipping into the restroom beyond. She flipped the light switch, also initiating the fan to start spinning, and shut the door behind her. When she looked at herself in the mirror, faucet running beneath and splashing the occasional drop onto her shirt or arms, she was expressionless. Emotionless. Aging. She hadn't felt any sort of guilt from being intimate with someone in a long time; didn't know why she felt it now. The only thing she could think of—and didn't want to admit—was that seeing the rage in Ellis' eyes had truly unsettled something deep within her. Terrified her.
"John Ellis was the second boy born in his family," she started softly as she returned to the kitchen. Misty, who had been wringing out her towel in the sink, stopped and turned. She leaned against the counter and settled into a comfortable position. "He had a brother, two years older. His name was Jeremy.
"Since we were all in the same grade as John, we eventually met Jeremy. Very nice guy, played on the football team when we were freshmen. Great in school, great looking… the all-American boy. Our junior year I had been dating John for a couple months. You know how high school romances are... all show, no real commitment. Anyway, we broke up just after the school year started. Vin was junior varsity quarterback, in shape and all kinds of popular. You know he actually used to be a nice guy?" She laughed sadly. "It's amazing how just a little change from JV to first-string Varsity can give a guy an ego.
"Sorry, I'm getting nostalgic." She felt a tear slip down her cheek. Jayde hadn't even noticed her own voice crack, and she was struggling to keep her composure. They were good memories tainted by a tragedy. She would never see them the same way, and that was a harder fact to accept than anything.
"Tissue?" asked Misty sympathetically. Jayde shook her head.
"I'm fine. So, Gabby had a crush on Vin. Like a major crush. Homecoming was coming up and he was oblivious to how she felt. So we were eating lunch one day and he just strutted right up and asked me. I said yes, I was more than happy to go with him. Trying to make John jealous, you know? Well Gabby decided to make Vin jealous by taking John. Kind of backfired, since Gabby and I were the only ones feeling jealous at all. The boys were just happy to have a girl to dance with.
"Well after the dance I told Vin that I only wanted to be friends. I didn't see him as a boyfriend type. He shook me off and started screwing some cheerleader and John and I got back together. That killed Gabby—she didn't even have her backup man. She hated me for a while. And whatever kooky gears she's got turning around inside of her head convinced her that first of all, trying to make every guy who ever looked at her jealous with another guy was a good idea, and that she could make John jealous—and spite me if it worked—by dating Jeremy.
"Turns out the two fell head-over-heels for each other right away. They were a match made in heaven. They dated all through her last two years of high school and right after she graduated, he proposed. They set the wedding date for the next autumn—September, when everything is breathtaking. The perfect wedding. Then there was an accident at the beginning of August. Jeremy died."
That was apparently enough for Misty. She set down the towel and embraced Jayde comfortingly, using her own sleeve to wipe the tears from Jayde's face.
"Go to bed, sweetie. I'll finish up here."
Between shuddering breaths Jayde nodded, turning and fleeing up the stairs.
Once her door was safely shut behind her, she sobbed.
When Misty finally navigated her way to her bedroom forty five minutes later, the dormitories were silent. Passing Lex's room, she briefly wondered why his door was open and he wasn't in bed. The thought was gone two steps later and she was unconscious the moment her head hit her pillow.
