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/ Elucidation/
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I woke with a groan, the rising sun filtering through a narrow crack in the curtains and lighting down on my eyes. I was yet again in my older sister's room, the cavernous space burnt into an auburn cast from the pinkish/red light coming from the window. The room was peculiarly silent, the only sound that met my ears being the tired ticking of the clock on the wall. Cadenza was nowhere to be seen, and despite having promised me breakfast in bed last night not a single scrap of food was to be found. Either he'd forgotten, or he'd been quite busy after I'd passed out in his lap. I blinked and attempted to move, but a shot of soreness shook my limbs, holding me in place. I could hardly move without a creaking shaking my entire body, especially in the crooks of my legs. My extremities howled from last night, and the area under my tail felt as if the slightest wind would bring me to the brink of shock. My entire body felt delicate, overused and sensitive from the previous night's lustful foray. Despite that, I cast a spell on myself to numb my near arthritically stricken legs and hopped out of bed, wondering where my foalsitter had wandered off to in the wee hours of the morning.
I didn't have to look far to find out where he'd gone, seeing as how he almost always left me notes whenever he had something important to tell me. Attached to the nightstand was a neatly written note, explaining how he'd gone out to meet with Solaris. In the manuscript it explained that he might be gone for two days before he could return, and that he'd left me a few of his old books down in the library if I got bored. I folded it in half and sighed, wondering how I'd ever be able to occupy my time after yesterday. How could ponies stand leaving their houses when they had a perfectly good lover, there to dote on them and satisfy their every need? I found myself facing a related conundrum; seeing as how Cadenza, who had become my sun and moon, was now absent. It was almost like coming home to find yourself without electricity, or running water. A massive piece of my life was now gone, and I had to adapt to this new vacancy in my schedule. I idly trotted over to the door, my nightgown still on. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd let me in his room, if only to feel closer to him.
I made a straight shot down the hall, over the catwalk in the entrance hall and into the opposite hallway. My parents' room lay to my left, and my father's study one door down from that. To my right was the guest bedroom, or Cadenza's residence at the time. I turned the knob and trotted into my foalsitter's abode, looking around to see that he'd made himself quite at home. He'd turned the walls to a bright blue colour, obviously in remembrance of his past relationship with Shimmer Shield. I secretly couldn't help but wonder how my older sister would react to our trysts, even now. I knew it was already written in stone that I would have to confront her about my rather sexual endeavours with Cadenza, but despite the inevitability of that situation I still felt my stomach churning whenever I thought about it. My sister was a very tolerant mare, but when she put her hoof down the rafters were known to shake with how furious she became.
I shook the thought away as I trotted further into the room, jumping up onto the bed to find a peculiarly shaped necklace, a ruby set in silver. At first I thought that maybe it was a gift for me, or Shimmer Shield, but I soon recognized it to be neither. I lit my horn and pulled it up to me, seeing that it had a bright red light pulsing at its centre. I immediately recognized the trinket as a memory reservoir, a device that forgetful sorcerers used to remember specific events or perhaps relive segments of their past. I smiled and wondered what Cadenza had to be nostalgic about, curious as to what I'd see if I reached out and touched my hoof to the bright red gemstone. I looked around, knowing that Cadenza wouldn't be around to gripe at me for going through his things. Resigned that I wouldn't get caught, I dropped the gem into my hoof.
Cadenza's Perspective
Rain pounded heavily at the windowsill, splashing onto the granite from the gutters high above. One was broken, thus emptying its contents directly outside my bedchamber. I repetitiously tapped my pen against the desk, my eyes focused on the text as I read 'Potent Portents: a Guide to Mind-Altering Spells and Potions. The harsh marble floor reverberated with the irksome sound. Despite that, I kept drumming my pen against the desk, determined to memorize the chapter surrounding voluntary memory loss spells. It was more of a personal assignment to pass the time than official business, but it eased the pain of endless billing reports, assignments and pointless filing rearrangements. Not mentioning the true source of my near workaholic behaviour.
Shimmer Shield couldn't have been more intolerant of my proposal. Even though I'd asked her very kindly, and I'd even written quite a few letters to her explaining that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of, she refused to accept an emerging fascination I had. I'd done my best to let it down lightly, address it in as casual a manner as possible, but she still refused to hear a word of it. I had a strange hankering for foals, and when I'd asked her if... maybe, one of us could transform into one for just a little while... she had a fit to rival that of a dragoness. Of course I'd dropped it, refused to address it for a while, but still she persisted in telling me how disgusting the idea was. She more than made her point, and even then she persisted in her efforts to punish me. We didn't sleep in the same bed for weeks, and soon she began to go out during her days off, instead of spending the day with me. Then... one day, she left me a note saying that she was going to live in the guard barracks instead of with me in my tower.
I blinked and dove back into memorizing the passage, trying to shake off the ice that crept into my heart whenever I thought of that agonizing moment; how her face had changed from happy and loving to mortified in less than a second. I missed her more than anything else, and working my loneliness away was all I had to do. I'd talked to Solaris, and he'd helped to a degree... at least I wasn't drowning my loss in wine like Luné did whenever somepony rejected him. That truly had to be the saddest sight, the lunar prince lying in his bed, hiccupping and wallowing in misery over how so many were still terrified at the sight of him. I very well might have ended up that way, if I'd continued to think of Shimmer Shield day and night. I sighed and picked up the book, trotting over to the door. I needed more to occupy my mind, and walking and reading at the same time did a good job of keeping myself fully aware, not wandering off down memory lane.
I trotted off down the corridor, not particularly worried about running into anything considering how very wide the halls were in the palace. Most of the times the corridors spanned a monumental seventy feet across and only narrowed to thirty at their very slimmest. The cleaning ponies did an amazing job of keeping the halls clean of debris, so I needed only focus on walking across the bright marble floor of the castle. My hooves clacked as I walked and read, still occasionally catching myself drifting back to an unrelated subject. I quickened my pace, hoping the swift stride would further occupy the empty spaces in my head. Idle thoughts still drifted to a fro in my psyche, but to a far lesser degree. The high, arched windows let in blisteringly red rays of light, leftover from the sunset taking place outside. The day was coming to an end for most of the castle's residents, but not for us alicorns. We needn't sleep, and when we did it was out of mental exhaustion more than physical necessity.
I myself felt small in the massive corridor, and couldn't help but wonder how hopeless I was. Honestly, I couldn't help but acknowledge that Shimmer Shield had been right, at least to a degree. What I'd suggested wasn't terrible, nor was it amoral in any way. The implications of me enjoying foals as I did, though, struck much more worrisome chords. In general my unhealthy fascination with the young ponies meant that if I couldn't find an adult pony, with an adult mind, to be a foal for me, then that meant that I'd find a real colt or filly. It worried me, and I personally couldn't help but feel sickened with myself. The thought of turning out to be a pedophilic creep scared me... maybe I was suffering from a terrible mental sickness. I honestly didn't want to be that pony, but the way a foal moved just couldn't be mimicked. I shook my head to try and focus again, but my mind was already blazing a trail away from the hallway I trotted in and down a much darker path. How sometimes, when I was alone, I'd like to imagine waking up to a filly maiden, eager to heed any command I gave her. How I liked to dream of brushing a lock behind that filly's ear and smiling at how innocent and delightful she was, not tainted by the terrible thoughts adults were plagued with. How she would be cordial and have a great personality, just like any adult, but with the wonderfully supple young body of a foal.
I slammed the book shut and teleported it away, biting my lip until the skin broke and I tasted rust. Shimmer Shield hated me because of this, and it had ended the best relationship I'd ever had. Still I found it plaguing every waking moment, telling me how this wasn't right, and how I ought to seek professional help before I did something awful. Still I insisted on my own innocence, thinking it was merely a passing fantasy that would fade in a few weeks. At long last sun set, and as if on cue the torches lit with a roar, filling the corridor with blinding light. The flames were an almost pure, crystalline white, and shone in a way that made shadows almost non-existent. I sighed and kept trotting, wanting to go until my limbs hurt. Thankfully pain seemed to take my mind off of the topic. I continued until I reached a junction between four corridors, each leading to a respective wing of the castle. Where the four halls met stood a monolithic rotunda and garden, complete with a large fountain standing in its centre. The ceiling was hundreds of feet above, and the whole complex was almost a thousand feet in diameter.
I trotted up to the fountain and took a seat on a bench, wondering if I should talk to a psychiatrist. Perhaps get somepony to listen to this strange fantasy of mine before it was too late, and I'd already let myself travel down a road I could never come back from. Not even my position as a prince could save me if I somepony discovered my secret. I buried my head in my hooves, pondering the worth of taking a long vacation to somewhere a bit less stressful. Maybe disguise myself as a peasant and go to Cloudsdale. They always had the most wonderful parties, just the right thing to take my mind off the morbid affair.
"Excuse me, mis'er?" A high, lilting voice chirped. "Are ye' lost?"
I lifted my head to see a filly, about twelve years of age with a bright blue dress adorning her sleek figure. Her mane was a bright aquamarine that curling at the ends, and her meticulously groomed coat seemed an eggshell colour in the dim lighting. She had her head tilted to the side, regarding me almost as curiously as one would a bug found under a stone. I smiled and stood, letting her see my wings. The filly's eyes lit up at them, and she glanced back at her own dainty, fluffy plumage as if for a comparison. I saw it dawn on her who I was, and she dropped into a hasty bow when she realized whom she was addressing.
"So ve'y sorry, mis'er Prince Cadenza sir." She apologized. "Didn' realize who ye' were."
"It's fine, dear..." I comforted, sitting back down on the bench. "It's actually nice to see that not everypony recognizes me on sight. So many formalities and such, you can imagine how it gets tedious."
The filly jumped up onto the bench next to me, seemingly awestruck at conversing with somepony of my stature. Her face was lit up, doe-eyed as she memorized everything I said. I could imagine her in just a few days, telling all her friends in school how she'd met the great prince Cadenza. I found her accent curious, how she always omitted pronouncing her 't's and 'r's. She struck me as distinctly Cockney, but her lilt spoke of an almost Irish background. I narrowed it down to that general geographic area and figured that it was specific enough. All I needed to know is that she wasn't from Equestria.
"So... why are you wandering around here, Miss..." I trailed off, implying that she should finish my sentence for me.
"Reed. M' name's Fall Reed, mis'er Cadenza sir." She answered quickly, her excitement showing quite plainly with how hurried her responses were.
"Well, Miss Reed, why is a young filly like yourself wandering around Canterlot Castle at night, without any supervision?" I inquired, looking down at the slightly less exuberant filly.
She seemed to wilt a bit as I asked her, putting a hoof behind her head as she replied. "Well... me mum, she works as a guard 'ere, so I come along some'imes and... other times I like to wander off and 'ave me own adventures, y'know?"
"Sounds quite exciting." I chuckled, reaching out and tousling her mane with a hoof. "I remember how amazing this place seemed when I was young... so many little nooks and crannies to explore, hidden rooms abound and more dim guards to prank than I could count. Those were the days..."
"Wan' 'a help me?! She brightened, leaping to her hooves. "Ye' can show me some of the hidden rooms, an' passages an' treasure!" Fall Reed giggled with excitement, her happiness bubbling over. "Pre'y please, mis'er Cadenza? I won' tell a soul, I swear!"
I sighed and wondered if it was the responsible thing to do, knowing her mother would most likely be worried about her. I conjured a piece of parchment and quill, writing a quick note to the filly's mother to let her know that she was safe with me. I cast the spell for the note to find its recipient and stood, smiling back at the filly. She hopped down next to me and pushed her head up against my leg, gratefully headbutting my shin in a playful display of gratitude. I did my best to ignore the physical contact, not wanting to get too attached to her. Especially given my predisposition to get a bit too fond of foals. I began to trot down the West Corridor, the filly following close next to me. She stood quite close, closer than I was comfortable with. Sometimes her shoulder would bump mine and I'd shiver, not wanting her to grow too accustomed to me. My plan was simply to show her a few of the more notable secrets of the castle, then immediately send her on her way with her mother. It wouldn't take long, considering they were all in close proximity to each other.
"Say, mis'er Cadenza, why're ye' helpin' me?" Fall Reed asked curiously. "You're suppose' to be the author'ty figure, so why would ye' go about showin' me how to make trouble?"
"Because I remember being your age, Fall." I explained. "I remember being about twelve or so, having to explore all of these places myself, how hard it was and how long it took me to find all of them. Then again I'm a prince so I had all the time in the world to search for them. You don't, so I'll do you the honours of showing you them outright."
We trotted in silence until we found a perfectly blank wall, between two doors and breaking the even spacing of sixty feet between each large granite threshold. I counted the number of bricks before I stopped, causing the filly to careen into my back leg.
"We're here." I explained simply.
"Uh... ye' may have lost yer' mind, 'cause all I see here is a wall." The confused filly stated.
I put my hoof on the wall and muttered a simple revelation spell. A door popped into sight, evenly spaced from the other two, a perfect sixty bricks down from the others. The filly looked starstruck at how clever I was, and dove for the handle of the door. Before I could stop her she touched the enchanted brass handle, and she recoiled as if she'd touched a hot cooktop. She whined and nursed her hoof, having placed the sensitive centre on it instead of the sturdier outer rim. I sighed and shook my head, kneeling to her height. She simpered as my horn lit, healing her burnt hoof before it began to hurt in earnest. She blinked gratefully, swallowing back her pain. I had to admire her; when I'd touched that handle as a colt I'd cried for almost fifteen minutes. The tough filly rose to her feet and waited for me to disarm the trap before she opened the door to the room, heading inside without a word.
The interior of the secret chamber was filled with magical baubles and trinkets of all sizes, filling every nook and cranny. Most of them were simply enchanted figures depicting many of Equestria's greatest historical heroes, while others were merely amusing scenes from the past captured in small scale models. Everything moved as we made our way through the storage room, and I couldn't help but be reminded of many a time where I'd think back to the events depicted in some of the miniatures. There was even some for more recent history, like Luné coming back from his stay on the moon. We hadn't the gall to tell anypony about his return yet, and everypony kept his presence in the castle a well-guarded secret, but somehow the dolls and figures in the room kept keeping up to date with important events.
"Do you like it?" I asked, hoping she had an eye for historical figures.
She shot me an unimpressed expression, her eyes fallen to half-moons. "Ye' have the whole cas'le t'show me an' ye' decide to give a tour of a glo'ified storage cupboard?" She stated, making her opinion on the secret room clear.
I sighed; pegasi weren't known as the history types, and I should've known that coming in. I turned and guided her out of the room, wondering what to show her next. Obviously she wasn't the one to get the more bookish references to the past, so I had a better idea. A timeless glory was what she would appreciate; if I was getting to know her as well as I thought I was. She trotted out ahead of me, her gaze darting around the hall as if she was afraid of being caught. I remembered having that feeling; that every time I did something against the rules somepony could be looking over my shoulder at any given moment. She way she acted so skilled, yet self-conscious about every move she made seemed to mimic somepony else I knew. Dusk Shine, the colt I'd watched a favour to Shimmer Shield, if I recalled correctly.
We proceeded down the halls as my mind drifted back to the long evenings spent with my ex-lover's younger brother, how he'd been so bright and inquisitive, never asking for anything if he could help it. He was very independent for a foal his age, and I couldn't help but admire Dusk in hindsight. He'd had the knowledge of current events of most adult ponies, yet he'd seemed... almost innocent. His parents had sheltered him for most of his life, only allowing him to explore topics he was curious about through reading books. In a way it was sad, the way the colt didn't leave his home all summer while his parents went away. A sweet young foal like that deserved better than to be left alone. He was indeed quite the sweetheart, having served me cookies, baked desserts and even made dinner from time to time. The foal had been, in essence, perfect. I missed him, how he'd sometimes catch me giving him a look and suddenly he'd know just what I wanted, or how I could do the same with him. We'd grown close, almost intimate at some points. I remember on more than one occasion when I'd been on the edge of making a move, about to say something to make my thoughts known ,when all of the sudden I'd stop myself and back away, knowing that he was a fraction of my age.
I thought back to the time when he'd accidentally taken an amnesia potion instead of a sleeping draft, and I'd had to spend weeks filling in the sporadic gaps in his memory. He'd known who he was and why I was there, but simplistic tasks had to be explained to him in order for him to remember. Ones he used to find quite easy were suddenly foreign, and I'd been roped into teaching him things as simple as levitation spells. I remember the torturous half an hour I'd spent re-teaching him simple bathing. Eventually I wasn't able to bear it any longer and told him to just wash his mane; merely standing in the same room with the soaking wet, exposed foal had been enough to make my loins burn. His supple coat, the way he had no problem waving his tail, exposing his supple, smooth flanks to me...
I shook my head again, feeling a sudden stiffness between my legs. My eyes were fixated on Fall Reed's swaying flanks a she walked ahead, causing me to turn a bright red in shame. I wanted little more than to sink into the floor, knowing how vulgar the thoughts running through my head were. I wanted to ask her, inquire as to her knowledge of what my subconscious seemed to crave. Would she understand, or would was she oblivious as far as carnal pursuits went? I bit my lip again, hoping the stinging would calm me down. I was in the middle of a corridor, walking with a foal I barely knew, staring at her like she I wanted to jump on her right then and there. I screamed at myself to exercise self-control, knowing that nopony would ever forgive me if I was caught. I wasn't the type of pony to abandon my morals, and most certainly not in the face of something so trivial. I continued on my trip down the West Wing, knowing the next secret chamber would leave her in awe.
We arrived at what seemed to be a perfectly normal statue, but when I tapped it thrice on the head with my horn it slid aside to reveal another doorway, one that couldn't be seen with the naked eye. I led the way into the chamber, keeping the lights off until she was inside and the secret entrance was closed behind us. With a flash I lit the torches lining the walls of the cavern, and she gawked in awe of the marvelous crystalline room. Every surface was carved out of solid quartz, causing the light to reflect at odd angles and giving the rooms random speckles of extremely bright light along the floor and walls. Fall Reeds turned a circle, trying to take it all in. It was marvelous, and in the half-light she I could see her face stretch into a wide, ecstatic grin.
"Now this's a sec'et room." The filly stated, trotted up to me with an overjoyed expression gracing her flawless complexion. "How'd ye' ever find this?" She asked, looking up at me curiously.
I knelt to her height for the second time that evening. I couldn't help but smile back at her, as her happiness was practically infectious. "A lot of searching, and radar spells." I said, tousling her mane.
I don't know what I did to deserve it, but the filly leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek right then. I blinked in shock; surely she didn't like me that much? I mean, she was willing to run off in the castle with me and all; but this sort of physical affection was outside the typical realm of foalhood crushes. She blushed and blinked at me happily, enjoying the surprised expression that stood sentry on my face. With blind recklessness I leaned forward and returned the favour, except my display of affection went far beyond what she'd imagined. I pressed my lips to hers, my eyes closed from how nervous I was. She gasped and moved to back away, but something drug her back to meet me again, and we locked lips for a second time. I moved with the utmost of tenderness, my head shifting to the side to get the young filly used to the sensation that was kissing. She had a blush just as brilliantly vivid as mine, showing even through the dim light of the cavern. I put a hoof on the back of her head and went a bit further, slipping a bit of my tongue into her mouth before she could react.
The filly backed away, blinking and shaking like a leaf in a late fall breeze. She seemed conflicted, and didn't know how to react to my sudden advances. I did my best to digress, apologize for what I'd done or perhaps make it up to her somehow. Instead of being afraid of me, though, Fall Reeds trotted back up to me, looking into my eyes adoringly. She hadn't known what she'd felt, or why kissing me made her feel that way, but it was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. I took a step back, shaking my head and ushering her out the chamber door again. She weaved in between my legs, gazing up at me with the expression one would see on a lost puppy wanting a treat. I cursed at myself; I'd caused this, and she had no idea what she was getting into. Still she stared upwards, wanting to feel more of the strange emotion I'd instilled in her.
"I-it'd be best if we went back now." I stuttered nervously, praying she wouldn't tell anypony. "Your mother is probably getting worried that I've gotten you lost or something of that sort."
"What?! Ye' can't just... do those t'ings to me and expect me to jus'... walk away!" She protested, pouting up at me. "I wan' more!"
"W-well I can't." I defended, taking off down the corridor, the filly hot in pursuit. "You're just a filly, and I'd get in trouble if I-"
"Ye' 'ave my permission!" She retorted. "Jus' kiss me again! Or whatever ye' did tha' made me feel so strange!"
"For the very last time, no." I said, my already weak voice dropping to an almost inaudible pitch. I knew if she pressured me one more time I'd crack.
"Pre'y please mis'er-"
I turned, horn flashing as we disappeared, reappearing in the library instantly. We were in the very back of the Canterlot Archives, with nopony around to hear us. I took a seat in one of the high-backed reading chairs, feeling myself stiffening in my sheath as I eyed her. She looked stunned that I'd carried her so far away, but wasted no time in trotting over to me and leaping into the chair next to me. I embraced her dainty frame and pulled the filly closer, her sweet breath smelling of fresh grain and bread. I didn't hesitate to clasp her lips in my own this time, instead of being subtle. I was afraid of what would happen if I stopped, that perhaps she'd tell somepony if I didn't satisfy her. I prayed that she'd keep it at that, kissing, not anything more. I couldn't help but scorn myself in the moment; I was letting a filly bully me into making out with her for the sake of my reputation as a prince. She broke apart, struggling for air. It was obvious that even she was a bit off-put by how relentless I was. I kept pulling her back to me, scarcely allowing her time to recover between long, heartfelt strokes of my tongue.
A cold sweat broke out on my forehead when I realized that I smelled something, an extremely familiar musk; one that was easily distinguishable even in the confusing tangle of limbs. I pushed the filly off of me for a moment, my eyes searching her form in an attempt to disprove myself. Indeed, my worst fears were confirmed to me as I glanced down at her, the sensual smell of her marehood wafting up to greet me. She was excited, and she'd demand to know why that part of her body was doing that, when it never had before. I cringed inwardly and cursed at myself, knowing this wouldn't end well. I only had one thing to do left, one possible course of action that wouldn't end with me taking the foal right there. I blinked, muttered a hasty apology right before my horn flashed and all memory of the night was wiped from her young mind.
I held the gem up to the light; it would do a good job of locking this terrible event away forever. I'd honestly thought about what I'd done, and although guilt tore at me I knew I'd taken the moral path, at least in comparison to the ulterior course. I was about to do it, seduce Fall Reeds into a trap where I could make her my own, maybe even take her to my bedchamber for more privacy. Just as I'd had my hoof on her waist I'd recalled Shimmer Shield, her disgusted expression and rampant curses. I remembered the expression on Solaris' face, when he told me how severely he punished criminals who exploited foals. This was better, for everypony. Fall Reeds didn't even know what was going on, and she'd seemed more confused and scared than willing. I tapped the gem to my horn and sighed as the exact details of the night drifted off, into a mist where my mind could never wander. One day I'd look back on this and reflect, but right now I wanted little more than to forget. I wanted a drink... I might even join Luné if he'd have me. This was a night best left half-remembered.
Dusk's Perspective
I dropped the gem, a knock snapping me out of my near-unconscious state. I struggled to readjust to my own body, looking down at my lavender coat and reaching up to touch my mauve mane. My trip through Cadenza's head had revealed a lot more than I'd ever intended to learn about my foalsitter. I struggled against the urge to mull over what I'd just seen, knowing that somepony was at the door downstairs. I tucked the jewel under the pillow, knowing in my gut that he'd never want anypony to find the glittering ruby. It was a secret that was between us, a strangely disturbing secret that would keep forever if I had to. With the memory relatively hidden I trotted out of the room and quietly shut the door, inferring Cadenza's reaction if he found out I'd been snooping through his things. With the door closed, I teleported downstairs to see who was at the front door. The entrance hall was glittering, basking in the radiant light of the afternoon sun as I trotted towards the threshold. The marble clicked under my light hoof-steps, making every quick stride sound like a marching band cymbal in the vast, empty hall.
I opened the door and turned on a dime, the knowing expression on Shimmer Shield's face enough to tell me her current mood. I hadn't made it three steps before she overtook me, rolling her eyes. We had these sorts of wordless arguments when she had something she desperately wanted to scream at me about, but wanted to get somewhere more private before she let loose. Her horn lit a bright blue, and my hooves glowed the same colour as she guided me upstairs. Her silence was enough to worry me, and if she was upset now... I didn't want to imagine her when I broke the news that I was sleeping with her ex-stallion. I let myself be guided, though, knowing that she wanted more than anything to know that I was still her little brother, and that I always would be. She led me to her room before freeing me, turning and slamming the door shut before diverting her attention to me.
"You and me have quite a bit to discuss." Was all she said, conjuring a couch for us to sit on. It was a large, comfortably cushioned seat that looked inviting as she got comfortable. "Firstly... I know you know about Cadenza. The moment that I heard he was watching you again I took vacation time off to check on you. Seeing as how you're in my nightgown, I can also tell that you've been falling back into old habits... I supposed that's my fault, though."
I struggled to comprehend how she'd inferred all that, until I took into consideration her history with the stallion. She'd spent almost every waking moment of her foalhood pining after him, and probably knew every detail of his life since she'd lived with him for almost a year. Not only that, but the events that Cadenza referenced constantly in his memory were enough to convince me that she knew more than most about the prince's pedophilic tendencies.
"I knew for a long time, Dusk." My older sister sighed, shaking her head. "I knew even before he came out and told me. He entertained the idea of one of us becoming a foal for a few weeks since the very first time we slept in the same bed. Not only that, but the way he looked at you sometimes... he'd peer at you, when you thought you were alone..." She trailed off, unable to say more. "At one point he even asked me if it'd be okay if he watched you over the summer. I still trusted him at that point, so I agreed, thinking it was just a product of my overprotective instincts... in hindsight I was pretty naíve. Now he's back and I think, with what he told me a little while ago, he might not be looking to just care for you."
"I know." I said, preparing to confess. "He's actually... made himself pretty clear."
"What do you mean?" She asked, her voice rising slightly in concern. "Don't tell me that he... tried to..." She couldn't say it, but I still understood what she was attempting to express.
"I gave him permission... he was really sweet about it, gentle even." I attempted to soften the blow as much as I could, but the twitch acting up in her eye warned me of her growing outrage. "He caught me dressing up in your clothes, and he thought I was really pretty... things went on and eventually we ended up together. It was a freak accident, but I let him, really. In no way did he force me to do anything."
At that moment I thought she would possibly understand, maybe even accept what had happened as a strange anomaly, but instead of screaming at me like I'd expected she resorted to her other methods of scolding. Her hoof shot out at blinding speed and hit my horn, sending roaring tidal waves of pain down through my skull. I probably deserved that, for letting all this happen, but her wounding me didn't particularly help the situation in any way. She got her wish, though, and I promptly shut my mouth, knowing that she was about to unleash a scolding that would most likely shake the floorboards. I braced myself for her magically amplified voice to scream her righteous fury into me, maybe even shake me to ram her point home, but none of that happened as she turned to me, confusion plainly showing in her bright blue eyes.
"You mean you let him have you?" She said, as if the very prospect struck her as nearly impossible. "You just... decided that you two would make a good pair and allowed him to do whatever he wanted? You're thirteen, Dusk! He's over a hundred years old! How can you possibly think of him as a partner when you two function on two completely different levels?!" Shimmer Shield's voice grew, cracking into a frequency only heard by dogs near the end. "I mean, you're so sweet and innocent and he wants these things from you, really dirty, carnal things... I found his journal once, detailing every fantasy he'd ever had. If it's anything like that I don't think you can handle him, Dusk. You're just not ready for somepony as experienced as him. He's had decades to think of what he'll do to the first foal mature enough to understand what he wanted, and you're just a vir-" She stopped, her eyes flooding with tears. "By Starswirl's Beard, he... took your..."
I shimmied closer to her, wrapping her in an embrace. "What's so wrong, sister? It had to happen eventually; I mean, if I ever wanted to be with anypony, it had to eventually."
"Not like this." She protested, pushing me away with a hoof. "And if you're smart you'll politely ask him to leave and never come back. He's already done more than he could possibly make up for. I want him out of our lives, forever. He's sick, Dusk. Inside he's not right. He likes foals, preying on their innocence and blind trust. Just like what he did to you."
"He never preyed on me." I insisted. "I accepted his advance, I actually told him that he had my permission."
"That isn't your decision to make yet, Dusk." Shimmer Shield said, pushing me away. "You aren't ready for this sort of thing, you're too innocent... too loving to be corrupted. I can't watch you wither away the same way I did."
"Wait... what did he do to you?" I asked, suddenly concerned for my older sister. "I know you two were together; but what could be so bad?"
"Cadenza has some strange ideas of role playing." Was all she said, looking at her hooves. "His idea of a good time is a lot more warped than most stallions. He thinks a lot of things are arousing when they're just... plain gross. Once he tried to convince me to become a Changeling! Have you ever seen a diagram of their reproductive system? I shudder at the thought of having a pair of claspers... especially where they shouldn't be. He just isn't right, Dusk. He will convince you to do things that no sane pony would do, for fear of their lives or bodies. I just don't want you to be doing those things with him. I mean... if those things become normal, what will he keep doing to push it to the extreme? I had to stop and ask myself that constantly, every time I denied him."
I stared at my hooves, seeing that she had quite the point. It was a simple fact of escalation; what is normal becomes boring tomorrow, and what's exciting today gets normal again. The progression was simple psychology; with every single push into the strange unknown the urge to go farther would only get stronger. Eventually we would both end up with disturbing indulgences, enjoying things no sane pony would ever take pleasure in.
"Then what should I do, Shimmer?" I pleaded, unable to bear separating from the stallion I'd grown so dependent upon. "I really like Cadenza... I like how he makes me feel, and the way he treats me. It's almost like I'm the centre of his life, with my needs coming first. He's so devoted and kind... how can I say no to him?"
