Memories: Shatter
The last of the staff exited the private library at the Hokage's tower in a small group whose conversation about drinking that night could be heard down the hall.
Kakashi found Shizune cleaning up her dinner, and packing the empty containers in the large delivery bag. "You're cleared for the the mission."
He closed the door behind him. "Really?"
She smiled gathering his share of research scrolls. "Yeah, Dr. Kent just dropped off your medical report. You're good to go." The medic would happily finish off the rest of their joint research while he did his mission. There hadn't been much left anyway.
Kakashi scratched the back of his head, and diverted his eyes around the floor.
Shizune smiled again. He always found it hard to express happiness, but she knew how to read between his awkward movements.
"Just go pick up the official scroll at the office, I'll take care of things here."
Kakashi nodded. "Thanks a lot, Shizune."
"Sure."
He probably didn't care how tiring, or dangerous, the week long mission would be. The man just needed to get away from town, even if he came back with a missing limb or two. And honestly after witnessing the barrage of questions and comments these past three weeks, she couldn't say she blamed him. She'd be dying to get away too.
{*3*}
Another month went by in the blink of an eye, and the village came to accept the couple as a fact. People didn't stare as much, nor did they question the duo when they went about their normal activities.
They found their outings a lot more enjoyable then.
Yuna became well acquainted with his friends, and they even recognized her when she walked down the streets. Some would stop to chat at times, and once, or twice she ran small missions with them.
Their friends served as messengers for the couple when one returned from a mission before the other, and so the duo remained informed on their possible next meeting date. One of these days when she returned from a mission a bit later than expected, she received the news that Kakashi came back from his assignment already, and found himself in the hospital.
Yuna picked up some flowers, wore his favorite yellow dress, and did away with any intricate design for her hair.
Kakashi didn't expect to see her. He tried his best to remain private about his stay, but the news traveled fast in such a small village. The jonin felt embarrassed to be seen in such a position, but he welcomed her presence nonetheless. She looked radiant on such a gloomy day, and he felt thankful to have her want to comfort him.
He briefly explained the taxing effects of his sharingan, and how during missions such as the one he participated in, he needed to take a few days to rest. He'd be fine soon, and wanted to go on a nice date when they got a chance.
She agreed, and they spoke about her mission from then on.
{*3*}
The next day she visited with another small bouquet. As much as Kakashi appreciated the gesture, he told her not to spend her money. He didn't know how to properly care for them, and her presence alone more than satisfied him.
"It's no trouble at all," she smiled, adjusting the pink carnations on a new vase. "There's a new little flower shop that opened up and I'm giving Yuki business with my visits."
The jonin scratched the back of his head. How could he argue with that?
She sat on the edge of the bed. "I got a nice tip from the lady I serviced this mission." Yuna moved closer, letting him rest his hand on her thigh more easily. "She owns a vacation home in Tea Country, and has given me permission to use it for a week during a time of my choosing. I thought the end of the month to be a good time. We can give proper requests with enough time in advance."
He smiled. "I'll put in my request as soon as I get out."
She stood up and bowed towards the window, before the image of the legendary Sannin even made it through the glass.
"Yuna-chan!" Jiraya sang. "Are you eighteen yet?"
"I turned eighteen eight years ago, Jiraya-sama."
"Oh so long already?" He walked leisurely across the room. " I regret not coming back more often for visits."
She smiled.
"Kakashi, you look terrible."
The jonin did his best to accommodate a formal bow from his spot. "Good afternoon, Jiraya-sama."
"Excuse me, I have a mission report to write."
Yuna picked up her bag and waved goodbye at the duo. They watched her leave, each returning a wave of their own until the door closed and her chakra disappeared.
"I'm going to take a wild guess that by the flowers and the way you look at her, she's not just a mission partner concerned for her underling?"
"We're in a relationship of sorts," the jonin replied. "I've been trying to take your advice, to bring more people into my life."
Jiraya felt happy that the secluded young man had finally chosen to take his words to heart. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, across from Kakashi. "I'm not sure she may be the best choice of partner for you," he admitted bluntly.
Kakashi's face hid nothing to the veteran man.
"Look," Jiraya sighed. "I've known her since she was about twelve, that's when she began exclusive training under ANBU's Tact Division. Do you know why they chose her?"
"I'm not… Sure."
The older man felt sure Kakashi had been too hypnotized by such a pretty face to actually ask more thoroughly about her background. "The divisions of ANBU like to recruit orphaned children because they're easy to train. They visit the orphanage a few times a year and observe the kids from far away in their natural habitat. From there they see bits and pieces of raw talent, and choose accordingly."
Kakashi never thought such a program would exist. He looked at the carnations his lover brought him, unsure if he wanted to hear the rest.
But Jiraya thought it a necessary story for him to hear. He continued. "Yuna was no sexual deviant at twelve years of age, but they found her to be adaptable. Her personally molded to the people around her, and she could even mimic accents when she played with the foreign children. She spoke to her peers the way they liked, she spoke to her superiors the way they liked, and she did it seamlessly. This is a trait mostly found in children who have been on the streets very long, it's a survival mechanism, and her talent for it made Yuna a prime candidate for ANBU. It only got better, and by the end of her three years of training, Emi sent her off to her first mission, which got such high praise, that she's been booked for it every year since. The same can be said for every mission she took up after."
Kakashi sighed, and Jiraya joined him.
"What I'm trying to say Kakashi, is that people like Yuna, don't easily grow genuine feelings."
The jonin understood, Jiraya's words made perfect sense. Still, he didn't see a reason to distrust her. "The relationship didn't come out of the blue, I pursued her."
Jiraya shrugged. "You could be right, maybe I'm looking too much into things. She could have a well balanced personal life, but I thought it would be best to at least put it out there for you."
Kakashi thanked his senior, and the conversation drifted to much lighter topics.
{*3*}
Kakashi couldn't let go of this nagging feeling that stuck with him after his meeting with Jiraya.
Could she be after something from him?
But who would put her up to it?
He found it hard to accept, her skills would have to be out of this world to trick him this way.
Kakashi left the hospital and met his lover as promised for a night out in town. The summer festival offered a great distraction, and the duo sported matching kimonos along with every other normal couple. They munched on snacks, and by the end of the night, she trusted his assessment that pork dumplings were the best festival food.
Kakashi spent the week trying, but ultimately failing, to push his senior's words to the back of his head. From the moment he showed up at her window, he did his best to neglect the little rational voice in his head that reminded him of all the risks brought on by mingling with another ANBU member. Kakashi told himself that his lack of experience making friends made his paranoia grow louder, and repeated the same phrase anytime the thought of dropping it all came up. But Jiraya spoke bluntly, using the same feelings he worked hard to shut down.
People who came into ANBU were not normal upon entering, nor would they be normal upon leaving. He was living proof, and he should have known better.
The next week he started feeling distant, and took a mission, or two to have an excuse to get away from the village. Away from her.
Something about the inviting landscapes that accompanied him on his way to Grass Country, and the quaint little tea shops he saw himself enjoying with Yuna, prompted Kakashi to try one more time to push the doubt out of his mind.
They knew each other for months, he told himself, if she wanted to do something, she would have done it by now.
But the will to move past his insecurities, and doubt were short lived.
One fateful afternoon, after asking Emi for a simple glance at Yuna's file, her favoritism towards the jonin showed when she agreed to let him take part in the forbidden task.
S and A ranked jobs made up most of her extensive mission sheet. There were so many, specially classified mission, and such a range. Infiltration and information gathering seemed to be her expertise, and she participated in all sorts. Not only that, but she worked under Root many times before.
Doubt crawled back to his mind and he canceled the weekend getaway that she planned weeks ago. He took an S-rank mission, and played the story that it fell on his lap without much wiggle room, from the Hokage himself.
He would always remember the first time he lied to her face, and her saddened eyes made him regret ever having that conversation with Jiraya.
She understood though, wished him well, and gave him all the food she packed for them to take.
{*3*}
Emi had been prepared to have her door blown open the moment she received the news. Kakashi returned from his mission that night, and she figured he heard his first condolences at the gate from the guards.
"What happened to her?"
She dug her copper nails through her thinning, black mane. Fucking stress.
"It was a regretful mistake," she informed him as gently as her raspy voice would let her. "Completely our fault."
She took a mission on Friday night. Emi thought she requested the week off, but it seemed her plans changed last minute. Yuna said she just needed something to keep her busy, and Emi found a brand new mission for her to do.
It didn't seem hard on paper, retrieve a jewel from a group of small time bandits. She'd take some good recruits and between them, they should have easily taken the group out. But the group recently merged and Yuna encountered more people than expected.
One of the team members freaked out and ran away, so the fight became a two versus about twenty, ten of which were much better trained than the initial group. Yuna managed to obtain the jewel, and instructed her subordinate to finish the mission. She could take on the group, but her partner, and the rest of them, didn't hold much hope that she made it out.
The other girl arrived at the village two nights ago, and the Hokage sent a team after the rogue ninja who escaped. She would be punished and charged with Yuna's death. Another team left to recover Yuna's body, and were on their way back with a confirmed match. She would keep him updated once she received the official autopsy report, and she promised to tell him first about her funeral arrangements.
Kakashi felt a numbing sadness as his mind organized a list of reasons his decisions in the last weeks, led to this outcome. Had he just brushed Jiraya's words off, they could have gone to the weekend trip and she wouldn't take such a stupid mission.
Yuna died because of his own insecurities.
Yuna never gave him any reason to distrust her, but he quickly made a mountain out of a molehill the moment he felt even the slightest hint of insecurity.
So what if she worked for Root? So what if she possessed a talent for lying and fitting in? His own nac for killing never raised any suspicions for her.
He felt so stupid and guilty, but he could do nothing now.
She was dead… And it was his fault, again.
