Nothing. Nothing at all could be found as to why Chantilly E. B. Rutherford was so disgustingly perfect.
Severus and Hermione and searched all through the early hours of the morning, looking at what felt like three fourths of the entire school library. Their search had so far proved fruitless.
Hermione Granger threw a large tome entitled: The Easy One - Two - Three Step Potion to Make You Completely Irresistible to the Opposite Sex (And/Or the Same Sex), down on the table in disgust.
"Not a veela!" she spat, her fingers digging into the top of the table, "Not a vampire! Not a demon! What the hell is she?!"
Professor Severus Snape raised an eyebrow at Hermione's use of a curse word, but refrained from commenting. Instead he sighed.
"We'll look for ten more minutes," he began, standing up and striding over to the restricted section. He reached up and pulled a large, leather-bound book off the highest shelf. Big gold calligraphy spelled out a title of: The Darkest Creatures: Mary Sues.
"By then we'll have to go to class," he continued. "But if we haven't found anything by then, we might just have to accept that . . ." he trailed off.
"That the Blossom Bitch is naturally that irresistible and flawless," Hermione finished, biting her lip.
Severus sat down, snorting. "'The Blossom Bitch'? Why Miss Granger, I didn't even realize you knew such vulgarities."
Hermione sent a nasty look in his direction, huffing and forcibly opening a small book titled: Popularity Charms: The How To of Social Ladder Climbing - Ten Easy Charms and Twelve Simple Potions.
"Good alliteration, though, Granger," murmured Severus while opening his own book. The library was dead silent for several minutes, only interrupted by the crisp sound of turning pages.
Then Severus's head suddenly shot up, his black hair wildly flying into his face. His obsidian eyes widened drastically and he slowly looked at Hermione. The girl was still perusing the same book, the look on her face clearly saying that she hadn't found anything pertinent.
"Did - did Rutherford tell you anything about her background?"
Hermione nodded absentmindedly, focused on her book. "She said her parents died tragically in a freak accident when she was two, leaving her to the tender mercies of a cousin, who was abusive and neglectful. The cousin moved away when she was seven, leaving her homeless on the streets of southern Kentucky. Her amazing horseback riding abilities relocated her to Lexington, where she won some unbelievable amount of awards. All through it, the only thing that kept her going was her love of languages, of which she learned fifty-four." Hermione made a disgusted sound. "I didn't even know that many different languages bloody existed!"
A gleeful smile crept across Severus's face. He cleared his throat and began to read.
Mary Sues
A Mary Sue (also known as Marty Stu or Gary Stu if male) is a perfectly normal person (usually muggle) who, using the strange magic of 'fanfiction', inserts themselves into the lives of interesting people such as wizards, witches, Ringbearers, Slayers, Chosen Ones, vampires (ensouled or no), Jedi, Sith, Dark Lords, mediums, chocolateers, superheroes, mutants, kings, elves, and paranormal hunting FBI agents.
Mary Sues are very dangerous creatures, as once they invade, they are incredibly hard to get rid of - not because it takes complicated magic to do so, mind you, but because the pull of the Mary Sue is very strong. Most people are very susceptible to this allure, so no one ever even attempts to vanquish the Sue. Some people, though, do have higher resistance to the pull of the Sue, and some, in rare cases, are not effected at all.
There are multiple indicators of Mary Sues, most of which are very noticeable. A Sue's name is usually very elaborate or unusual, such as Aaliylah Adelaida. There have also been occurrences of the a female Sue's name being something such as Mack (male sounding). They could also have a relatively normal sounding name, which is spelled oddly (IE Izzibella, Janise).
A Sue always has model looks, such as beautiful hair which is always well-groomed, odd colored eyes (such as violet or midnight blue), and perfect skin. They are usually very thin and can eat as much as they want without gaining an ounce.
The Sue personality may be anywhere in the range of spitfire to shy, but everyone always seems to like them anyway and they always have an astronomical amount of friends.
A Mary Sue's intelligence is always much higher than humanly possible. They constantly have incredibly high grades (if in school surroundings) without seemingly studying. They might speak multiple languages, be able to skip multiple grade levels, and understand such complicated things as muggle rocket science. Nothing is impossible for a Mary Sue.
Another indicator of a Mary Sue is their background. Most Sues come from bad ones, such as broken homes, abandonment, abuse, etc. Of course, they probably found a way to rise above and be perfect. Another smaller percentage of Sues come from incredibly good backgrounds, such as wealthy, caring parents who pampered them constantly.
Severus stopped his reading and glanced up at Hermione. The girl had dropped her own book and was staring at him with wide eyes.
"So . . ." she eventually said, "The Blossom Bitch is a - Mary Sue?"
Severus smirked. "Certainly sounds like Miss Blossom, doesn't it, Granger?"
Hermione flew up from her seat and knelt down by Severus, her eyes glued to the book. She began to flip through the pages.
"Where the hell does it say how you get rid of one?!" she demanded.
Both Severus and Hermione were absent from their classes that day.
Author's Note: My. Laptop. Crashed. $&$&$$ Good god! My uncle then, to fix it, replaced the stupid hardrive and erased everything I'd ever written! AHH! I want to strangle him! And the Customer Service people from Dell! furious screaming
long, deep breaths Anyway, I managed to rewrite this chapter and I'm pretty sure I made it better, so here it is!
Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews!
-snarryvader81 (aka Anna)
