Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, etc. etc. etc. no infringement of copyright intended, etc, etc. just playing with them, like everyone else here.

Warning: Explicit, MA for adult theme. Jack/Ianto Slash/swearing

Mr Jones is on a learning curve, but will he be able to adapt to the situation…?

Waking was bad, again, his in-drawn breath a painful gasp back into life. He coughed, his mouth and throat dry, his lungs starved of oxygen. He gradually became aware of his surroundings, realising that for once he was in a bed, not a body bag. He opened heavy eyes to see nothing but a bright blur. Someone moved close, he felt his arm being gripped and a sharp scratch in the muscle. He blinked, his vision cleared sufficiently to see Ianto Jones sitting on the bed, an empty hypodermic syringe in his hand.

"Welcome back" he said "almost given up on you" he was smiling though. He eyed the syringe "Owen wanted me to do this, he said you always have a wicked headache when you come back. Thought this might help. Hope I didn't hurt you, I'm not used to giving injections"

Jack blinked again, his vision clearing completely this time. His head had the beginnings of the familiar crushing headache that coming back always brought with it but it was fading rapidly "Good for Owen" his voice was rusty "thank him for me"

"How do you feel?"

"I've been better. Wouldn't worry about hurting me" he indicated the syringe "I recall you stabbed me with something bigger than that"

"God Jack" a laugh escaped "If I didn't know better I'd say you were still flirting!" he shook his head "I'm glad to see you back" the words were heartfelt and honest.

"You are?"

"Yes, I am…" he stood up, dropped the syringe into a metal bowl on the desk. Jack was surprised to note that he had lost his immaculate veneer. He looked tired, red-eyed and dishevelled. His tie was off and his collar was open revealing more of the smooth chest than jack was comfortable with at that moment. He had rolled his shirt sleeves up, his hair was mussed. As Jack watched, he sat behind his desk, leaned his elbows on the top and put his head in his hands. The bed was in Ianto's office, the sofa bed that he rarely used, there in case of horrendously late nights working. Jack began to shake, reaction setting in. He was cold too, as his metabolism got used to being alive again.

"Is that normal?" Ianto asked, seeing the condition he was in.

Jack barked a laugh "Define normal! Nothing about this is normal" he shook his head in exasperation. He suddenly realised that he was naked under the duvet, wondered briefly who had undressed him. He lay back. He had to admit that it was good to be in a bed, albeit in this bed. The familiar ache somewhere south of his navel had nothing to do with returning from the dead. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Jack, about what you were telling me before…" Ianto looked at him gravely "I'm sorry but I'm not letting you go so easily"

Here it comes, he thought, about how I'm such a good little operative they can't afford to lose me, about how there's no one to replace me…

"I thought I'd lost you" Ianto's voice was odd, almost choked. That was a surprise. Jack opened his eyes and looked at him, but he was staring at the desk "I'm sorry Jack…" he scrubbed at his eyes with his hands "…but I've never had direct experience of you dying before. I've never had to kill anyone like that before either…"

"You knew I was coming back" Jack pointed out.

"I thought you were, there's a difference" he said vehemently "I didn't know. I'll never know for certain, I'll always worry, every time, in case one day…" he paused, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly "…in case one day you don't"

Jack studied the younger man carefully. He had never seen him display so much emotion before. "Jack, you hold things together for me, for us. I'm the boss but you…you're the glue, the confidence, the energy. Every time I'm out there, you're there too. How am I going to carry on without that?"

"You can. You did at Canary Wharf?"

"Hardly" he said "I did that because I had to"

"SO? You have to do this"

"Jack, I…" he sighed, got up from behind the desk and came round to lean against the front of it "…That's the difference between us. I'm the leader because I do what is expected of me. You, you make people want to do what you expect of them!" He fixed Jack with an intense stare "I need to know something from you. I…I tend to hold back, I'm not good at revealing how I feel…"

"Neither am I, Sir" he said.

"Oh for God's sake, Jack, drop the 'Sir'!" he snapped "its driving me nuts!"

Startled, Jack frowned. He struggled to sit, aware that this conversation didn't seem right to face prone. He felt at a distinct disadvantage as his boss stood over him. It was far from a good idea however. His head thudded painfully, despite the painkiller Owen had sent, he felt dizzy and suddenly sick. He groaned, protesting at the pain.

"Easy Jack" Ianto said urgently "For God's sake, take things steady" He felt gentle hands on his shoulders, easing him back against the pillows "Don't try to move so fast"

"I'm fine" he muttered.

"Well I'm not!" Ianto paced the floor, frustration and anger showing through the normally cool facade "Tell me, am I seeing things that are not there or are you…do you…?" he stopped, growled with exasperation at his inability to articulate what he felt "…I catch you flicking glances my way when you think I'm not looking. I know when you're looking at me, you know that? I can feel your eyes on me. When we're together, sometimes I get the feeling you want to talk and then you don't say anything. You always serve me coffee before anyone else. Around me, you hold yourself back as if you don't dare let go, yet you're all smiles and Mr Happy with the others. You stand as close to me as you can get, as if you'd like to get closer. You used to smile, Your grin would light up the room when you saw me. That's gone…Am I near the truth of any of this or am I way off?"

Jack was quiet. He didn't know what to say. Ianto had neatly pinned him, everything he had thought he was doing so subtly, it had all been so bloody obvious to this man who missed nothing where his team were concerned. He felt foolish.

"So it is true then?" Ianto Jones asked gently "or am I seeing something that isn't there? Are you attracted to me, Jack Harkness, or am I just fucked in the head?"

Jack nodded, not trusting himself to speak. When he did, it was quiet "That's why I have to go, I need to get out, transfer…I can't be here any more…I won't be here to get what I feel for you thrown back in my face. This job is hard enough without facing something every day of my life knowing I can't have it, until I have to watch it grow old and die without having had the chance to…" he stopped, sighed gustily "…without having the chance to show it how I feel"

"Jack, I said I'm not letting you go. End of story" Ianto was looking at him steadily "and let's face it, I might not get the chance to grow old and die. In case you haven't noticed, Torchwood has no pension scheme, they haven't yet needed one" he sat on the edge of the bed, took hold of Jack's hand and laced the fingers through his in recollection of the last time.

Jack looked at their linked hands "That was…well done, by-the-way" he admitted "hurt like hell, but not half as much as it would have. I, er…I haven't thanked you properly"

Ianto's eyes were unreadable, bleak and troubled "I've never had to administer a coup de grace before" he said softly.

"You see, you're learning new things all the time" Jack offered, the familiar smile in place again.

"Yeah, mercy killing and injections, all in one day" but Ianto was smiling, albeit crookedly, Jack was relieved to see. He had doubted just how much the young man had been affected by the day's events. Jack studied him silently. Ianto was so handsome when he smiled…

"You saved my life" Ianto was saying and Jack dragged his attention back to what he was saying "In case you hadn't noticed, I can't come back from the dead like you can. You should have asked me Jack, you should have said something. Not like the Jack Harkness I know to lack courage" Suddenly Jack was drawn into a firm embrace, strong arms gently lifting him to a sitting position, wrapping firmly round his back and holding him close. Ianto's breath ghosted across his ear, down his neck, face pressed into his hair. Jack responded fiercely, his own arms twining round Ianto's body, his face close to the younger man's neck. They sat like that for what seemed like an age, comfortable with the contact, but it was Ianto who broke the connection, sitting back almost reluctantly. Next moment, one hand cupped Jack's chin and the other slipped behind his neck and Ianto's mouth fastened over his in an experimental kiss that took his breath away. He leaned into the embrace, yielding completely, then returning it with enthusiasm, unable to believe it was happening. Ianto sat back, breathless and wide eyed "Well, that was…interesting" he said "never kissed a man before"

"Could have fooled me" Jack murmured, eyes half closed "another first? You're learning a lot today" Suddenly his eyes snapped open, he looked at Ianto in shock "You mean you're…you've never…" he swallowed.

Ianto's laugh was throaty "I've never done it with a man but I'm not a virgin Jack" he said "Sorry to disappoint you there" Suddenly he yawned mightily, running a hand through his hair "Sorry" he said apologetically "after today, I'm asleep on my feet"

"What time is it?" Jack had no idea. The Hub was quiet, but he figured everybody must be working. Ianto looked at his watch "3:30am" he said, smothered another yawn with his hand and tried to smile but it got lost somewhere.

"Damn" Jack swore "You need sleep, never mind me"

"I said I wouldn't leave you" he replied defensively "Owen was insistent. It was the only way I could get him to go home" he ran a hand round his neck, trying to ease the stiffness. Jack didn't hesitate, he threw back the top corner of the duvet and just gave Ianto a look.

"Oh no, no I couldn't…" Ianto was unaccountably flustered.

"Why not?"

"The others…"

"…have gone home"

"But it wouldn't be appropriate"

"To Hell with "appropriate", that kiss you just gave me wasn't "appropriate". I think we're way beyond that now, don't you? You need to sleep and I am not letting you go home now"

"Jack…"

"Ianto…" his name, spoken so gently, so insistently, made him pause "Don't ask questions. Don't think. Just come to bed. I won't touch you, I promise" Jack watched Ianto's resolve weaken and he sat down heavily on the edge of the bed again. Jack swung his legs out of the bed, ending up sitting beside Ianto, just managing to keep his dignity covered with the duvet. Ianto glanced at him as he moved closer, reached for him and ran a hand along his arm. Jack found the shirt buttons and unfastened them all, tugging his shirt loose and peeling it off.

"Damn, I ache" Ianto admitted "I think I'm coming down with something"

"See Owen in the morning" Jack suggested "I did throw you to the ground after all"

"I'm not that bad, you've no need to worry"

"I'm not worried, but you are coming to bed" he insisted "besides, if you are coming down with something, I think know a good way to sweat it out of you" his look was so comically lecherous that Ianto couldn't help but laugh. He did, however, submit to Jack's orders meekly and allowed him to divest him of the rest of his clothes. It was odd, getting into the bed with the man who, up until a scant few moments ago had been his subordinate. Ianto felt somehow that those roles had been subtly reversed, he being the one taking the orders all of a sudden. Jack lay down beside him and offered his arms. Ianto mutely came within his embrace again, resting his head on Jack's shoulder.

"I'm still your boss" he murmured "and I'm still not sure this is entirely appropriate"

"Since when did the word 'appropriate' apply to Torchwood?" Jack asked reasonably, his breath caressing Ianto's hair "That kiss wasn't appropriate, it was necessary. We're a family, we're a team, we work together, grieve together, why the hell shouldn't we love each other too? Love in any form always beats the dark" he said, as if quoting something, or someone.

"Where d'you get that from?"

"Someone I knew once" was all he said. Jack closed his eyes, suddenly felt a soft touch against his cheek. Ianto's fingers grazed his skin. "How are you feeling?"

"It gets better every minute" Jack took a deep breath "How are you?"

"Tired" his eyes were heavy.

"Go to sleep…Sir" he added and exhaled sharply as Jones' fist hit him in the ribs "Ooft! Please Sir" he murmured huskily "be gentle with me…"

"Harkness, I ought to beat the living shit out of you" Ianto murmured "you said you wouldn't touch me" blue eyes studied him from inches away. Then, abruptly, he rolled upright and left the bed. Jack immediately missed the warmth of his body but appreciatively watched the rear view of smooth skin, muscles rippling as he moved. He padded to the desk and rummaged in a drawer, retrieving a small black box with four buttons on it and depressed one. Immediately all the Office windows turned opaque and dark, polarised for privacy. Another one dimmed the lights to a comfortable glow. The third secured the door, its 'ca-click' locking them in. Then he put the control on the desk and turned.

Jack's breath caught in his throat. Ianto Jones was absolutely beautiful - long, strong legs, flat stomach and hard pads of the pectorals perfectly displayed, among other things. He couldn't fail to notice that, the generous endowment he had been hiding under his formal clothing. Seeing jack's eyes on him, a blush crept across his face but he got right back into the bed, sliding under the covers and fitting that warm and beautiful body alongside Jack's. A sigh escaped Harkness' lips as he felt the welcome warmth. He was pulled into a rough embrace and Ianto murmured "Go to sleep Jack" and he had no choice other than to obey the implacable order. Closing his eyes, Jack tried to ignore the hammering of his heart and the more insistant response from elsewhere while he tried to still his mind to a point where he could rest. Jones had no such problem, he was asleep and snoring softly in minutes.

There we are, together at last. There is more to come though. Some issues are left to be resolved…