Disclaimer: If only murdering Masashi Kishimoto in cold blood would give me the rights to Naruto…*sighs* oh well, c'est la vie! Besides, I don't really consider myself the murder-in-cold-blood type anyway. *grins*

Chapter 2: Welcome to Real Life

It was getting darker, and the neon lights of the surrounding buildings were reflected by the wet pavement. I walked along, clutching my thin orange button-down closer in an attempt to get warmer. People rushed by, busy and harried, with no time to wonder about the strange looking spiky blond haired boy…who just stole their money.

Hiding in an ally and counting my pilfered cash, I couldn't help but feel both proud and ashamed in equal measures. My uncle had always said I was a natural. But then, being called a natural thief isn't really the best compliment, is it?

Separating the bills and tucking the money away, I stepped out to look for a decent place to stay. Considering the amount of money I had, the place would have to be low priced. I was okay with that. It didn't take me long to find a neighborhood of cheap but not trashy houses. I headed towards one of the bigger ones with a "Rooms 4 Rent" sign stuck in its front yard.

The one I chose was done colonial style, which surprised me, as we were in the city. The predominant color was once white, but had turned gray from age and neglect. There was a smattering of dark blue paint here and there, and ratty pink muslin curtains hung limply from the windows. I stepped up the weedy and cracked driveway and knocked on the red door.

A girl about my age, with a thin lemon juice sucker face opened the door. Her beady brown eyes checked me over in a way that had me feeling uncomfortably like meat at a grocery.

"What you want? You want room? You have money enough, you get room. We no want no criminal. No cops!" She rattled off in bad English. I nodded wordlessly. She nodded back, seemingly satisfied with my response.

"Come in, come. You pay $20 for night and breakfast, yes? You stay week, pay $70, also get breakfast. Is good?" She paused to see my reaction. Again, I only nodded. Again, she was pleased.

"Good, good! Come! Meet Maman, then go to room, yes?" She spoke excitedly, and with an almost childlike happiness in her words. I felt a little bad for calling her lemon juice faced earlier. It seems she had been well trained about how to treat unexpected guests at the door in this type of neighborhood. I finally decided to speak.

"Um, I'm Naruto. What's your name?" She beamed at me when I asked my question.

"I'm Koto! You going to be Koto's friend, yes?" Koto seemed so happy as she said that last bit that I didn't have the heart to tell her that "no, I won't be your friend because I'm a suicidal freak that belongs in a loony bin". Instead, I have my standard Koto response. I nodded. This seemed enough for her, and she grabbed my hand and happily skipped into the kitchen.

At first I assumed the lady in front of the stove was elderly, but upon closer inspection, I realized that she was only in her mid-forties at the most. But she had worry lines set in hers skin, her eyes were red and watery, her skin sagged and was sallow, and her hair was thin and gray. I felt sorry for the poor woman. Was this Koto's "Maman"?

"Koto?" She rasped, "Who is this?"

"Maman! This new boarder, Naruto, and my new friend!" Koto said excitedly. Maman turned to fully look at me, her watery eyes inspecting me sharply. Finally, she gave a decisive nod, and, from the slight loosening of her jaw muscles, I figured she approved of me.

"Good. We need new boarders. Koto, show him to his room. And, boy, if you have time and can lower yourself to it, help around the house, eh? And you'll have to clean your own room and be down for supper at 6:30. This ain't a hotel, and we ain't your maids, y'hear?" She said sharply with a stern face. I nodded, and squeaked out a little "yes, ma'am!" before Koto hurried me out of the kitchen, up the stairs, and into my new/old room.

When I say old, I don't mean used before. I mean old. The faded wallpaper curled around the tops and drooped down. The carpet was dingy and smelled somewhat…deplorable. A small, pitifully sagging little cot was pushed in the right corner. Thankfully, the sheets, while a bit worn, ragged, and stained, seemed to be clean enough. The room's ceiling was also blessedly clear of cobwebs, but was water-stained. All in all, not exactly the Ritz, but hardly the worst place I could stay.

I nodded to Koto, who smiled enthusiastically, waved, and backed out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. And there I was, alone in the middle of the slums, running away from the nuthouse. As twisted and crazy as it made me feel, I headed straight for the small, grimy, cracked mirror above the small, grimy, cracked basin.

"Hello? Naruko? Are you…are you there?" I called out hesitantly, not sure if I really did want to see my vicious twin.

"Well, who would've thunk it, eh? We never thought we'd see the day our little Naru-kun would ask for us. Frankly, we're flattered!" Somehow, even though the words weren't overtly insulting, the twist of Naruko's full mouth told us clearly that she was. Insulting us, that is.

"Yeah, well, we took our advice. What should we do now? How long should we stay here?" We asked our mirror twin. We looked thoughtful.

"We'll stay here for a while. I doubt anyone remembered us well enough to point us out to any cops. That is, if our parents even deign to look for us! Perhaps they're relieved to be rid of us!" We snarled at us. We nodded back in agreement, remembering all the disappointed looks we had received from our parents.

"Okay then, we'll stay here for now. But we shouldn't steal too much or too close to here. We should get a job.

"Fine, if we insist," snapped Naruko. We nodded, pleased that we had given in so easily. And then we headed downstairs to help Koto vacuum the living room.

"Welcome to real life, Naru-kun," We heard Naruko whisper as we walked out of the room. As we helped poor childish Koto with her chores and Maman's tortured coughs, we couldn't help but think, "Indeed."

An:

Well, here's chappie 3, my chickies! Sorry that our lovely Gaara hasn't made an appearance, but he won't for maybe another chapter or so. This is about little Naru-kun getting out into the city before Gaara shows his sexy little ass…excuse me, face. I meant face, hehe. Also, I know that the whole "we/us/our" thing is a little weird and confusing, but, please be aware that Naruto is truly crazy at this point. He doesn't even realize that he considers them as both one and two. It's weird, I know. Well, enough with the long ass AN, cuz I know y'all hate those, right? So, all I'm gonna add is: thanks for reading and reviewing! Please, more!

Thanks, chickies,

NastifaceX